“Probably many, many years ago, back when I couldn’t even define love. I’ve always had a thing for Wes. It’s much more than just a thing or a fling. I do love him.” She had no desire to hurt Jarred, but she had no stomach for leading him on, either.
“You don’t love him. You can’t possibly. You don’t even know him.”
“This issue is not up for debate. Let it go. Okay?”
“I’ll leave it alone. For now. But we will revisit the issue. Count on it.”
“Not if I have a say in the matter. And I do.”
“You only think you have a say. And I’m sure you think you have a say in what Wes does when he’s not with you. You won’t—and he won’t.”
“He won’t what?”
“Honor you. Not at all.”
“You know a lot about that, don’t you? Who have you ever honored?”
The excruciating pain of Jessica’s statement to Jarred was visible. “I honor you. In spades. I know I haven’t been the righteous lover to the women I’ve been involved with, but there are reasons for that. I never dreamed you’d be so judgmental. You are judging me, you know. Critically.”
“No more than you’re judging Weston and me. Sorry if what I’ve said hurts you. I don’t understand why it’s okay for you to say what you want yet I can’t. We’ve always spoken our minds with each other.”
“But never so cruelly. You’ve been downright cruel.”
“And you haven’t?”
Jarred raised an eyebrow. “You obviously think so. Not my intent.”
“Exactly what is your intent? I’d really like to know.”
“I intend to win your heart for myself. Put Weston on alert for me.”
“Put him on alert yourself. He’ll be here in a few minutes.”
“I’ll do that. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the little boys’ room.”
Jarred had Jessica really worried. He wouldn’t hesitate to tell Weston that he intended to win her heart, and in no uncertain terms. Jarred was pretty bold that way—another thing she didn’t particularly like about his character.
It wasn’t that Jessica didn’t think Jarred had a lot going for him—he did. He was a good person and a great friend, extremely supportive of his family and friends. He just wasn’t good with romantic relationships. He was very sensitive to others, just not the women he was intimately involved with. Jarred was also well-known for giving to others less fortunate than himself. All in all, Jarred was a fairly decent guy, with faults.
The doorbell caused Jessica to jump. The bell had scared her only because she had been lost in her thoughts, concerned about what might happen next. It was probably Weston. She hurried to the entry. As she had eagerly anticipated, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a staggering kiss. His genuine affection let her know he wasn’t holding her accountable for Jarred’s bad behavior.
As Jessica turned to usher Weston into the living room, she saw Jarred standing there, staring hard at them, looking very formidable. Deciding not to let her best friend intimidate her, she shot him a warning glance. Once in the living room, Jessica and Weston sat down on the sofa. Much to Jessica’s surprise and utter dismay, Jarred squeezed in between them, ignoring her silent warning.
Weston gave Jessica a questioning glance.
All Jessica could do was shrug. Jarred had her on edge. She had no idea what he would do or say next—and that scared her.
“So,” Jarred said in a surly tone, “Jessica tells me you two are in love. I won’t pull any punches about my response. I don’t believe it. You two don’t know each other. How can you possibly be in love?”
With another unpleasant ordeal facing him, Weston sat up straight. “We’ve only known each other most of our lives. It’s possible for us to be in love because we are. I get the feeling that you strongly disapprove of our feelings. Am I right?”
“Your intuition is definitely working for you, bro. I don’t approve. I disapprove of long-distance relationships even more. In short, they just don’t work for most people.”
“I like your use of the word most. Jessica and I aren’t most people. We are two exceptional people who happen to be madly in love. We can also accomplish anything we put our minds to.”
“I can agree with the mad part. You two have to be mad, as in insane, to think your relationship has a fighting chance with the distances you’ll have to combat. You live on opposite coasts, for Pete’s sake.”
Jessica started to fidget in her seat. Feeling her angst, Weston reached around Jarred to put a calming hand on her back. His eyes let her know he was in control, that he could handle anything Jarred brought on. Weston didn’t fully understand what Jarred was trying to prove, but he was curious enough to stay the course. Jarred had a personal interest in Jessica—an interest that went beyond friendship, an uneasy theory for Weston to swallow.
“Just before you got here, I asked Jessica to give you a message. She said I should give it to you myself. So I will. I have every intention of winning Jessica’s heart for myself. I’m in love with her, as much as you say you are, if not more.”
Weston hid how much Jarred’s statement shocked him. As stunned as he was, things had also been made clear to him. Jarred’s statement about not pulling any punches rang resoundingly in Weston’s ears. He had surely kept his word.
Weston had to be very careful how he handled things. He had to be sure not to make the huge mistake of underestimating a worthy opponent. Jarred was a clever man. He had to give him that much.
For all Jarred’s confident talk, Weston had to wonder if he’d considered where Jessica stood in all this. It was really up to her. They could love her more than life itself; it was only about whom she chose to love back. Jessica had confessed her love for Weston. He wouldn’t boast about that. It wouldn’t be too bright of him.
Weston stroked his chin. “I commend your candor. But I’m not sure we should look at loving Jessica as a contest. She’s not a prize.”
“Oh, I beg to differ. She’s the perfect prize. I place a high value on her friendship, and an even higher value on her love. Maybe it isn’t a contest, but we both want to win Jessica’s heart. Am I wrong?”
Weston couldn’t argue with that. Still, he didn’t see Jessica as some prize. Instead of getting into a discussion about it, he decided to say nothing. Jarred was spoiling for a fight. That much was clear.
“Let me ask you this, Wes. How can you say you love someone you terribly mistreated in the past? I know how badly you treated Jess because she told me.”
Looking thoughtful, Weston pursed his lips. “The past should remain in the past. We were just kids. I’ve apologized to Jessica. She accepted. We’ve moved on.”
“Enough of this, Jarred,” Jessica yelled, jumping to her feet. “You are so out of line…and I want it stopped right now!”
Jarred raised both hands in a conceding manner. “I’ll back off. I’ll go back to my room and take a short snooze. See you later?”
Jessica didn’t respond, fearful of only making matters worse. She didn’t want anything to delay Jarred’s departure. The air had grown rather foul.
Jarred got up and extended his hand to Weston. “No disrespect intended.”
Knowing Jarred was lying, Weston laughed inwardly. “None taken.”
Jarred gave Jessica a peck on the cheek, then left the room. She thought of following him to the bedroom to give him another piece of her mind but decided against it. She didn’t want to hear anything else her best friend had to say in defense of his actions. There was no justification. He really had Jessica riled.
Jessica reseated herself. “Sorry about that, Wes. Really sorry.”
Weston hunched his shoulders. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. But I’d like to know if you’re considering Jarred in a romantic way?”
Jessica gritted her teeth. “How can you ask me that? Suddenly doubting my love for you?”
“My question was a reasonable one. Especially when Jarred seems to think he has a
real chance with you.”
“He doesn’t. Not even a ghost of a chance.”
Jessica was hurt by the pointed question Weston had posed. How did he think she could consider Jarred as anything but a friend? She had made wild, passionate love to him. If he doubted her now, maybe he’d doubt her when they were miles apart, a very unsettling thought for her to entertain.
Sensing that he should also leave, Weston got to his feet. “I’m going now. Don’t want to make things worse. You have a lot to think about. Must feel great to have two men falling all over the place for you. Make that one. I’m not into female-worshipping.”
Looking horrified, Jessica leaped to her feet again. “You’ve got to be kidding! Is that what you think I’m all about? If so, you don’t know me. Period.”
Weston grinned menacingly. “By golly, you took the words right out of my mouth. Maybe I don’t know you. Not at all.” Disgusted for losing control and saying things he hadn’t meant to, Weston practically ran for the door. He wanted to be alone, needed time to think about what had happened. Feeling sick inside, he wished he could take back the unfair statements he’d made. He couldn’t.
The thought to try and stop Weston from leaving came to Jessica’s mind, but she decided not to act upon it. It would be stupid of her. God forbid he should think she was begging him to stay. His words had cut into her like a serrated dagger, tearing her tender heart to shreds. He still has that mean streak in him.
As much as Jessica wanted to regret making love to Weston, she couldn’t. The wonderful experience had been too awesome for her to have an ounce of remorse.
Weston knew he had to apologize to Jessica for his earlier behavior. He owed her that much. This was all just one big misunderstanding. Everyone had said thoughtless things, things that never should’ve been said. Ever since Jarred had arrived they’d been at each other’s throats. So much for a happy ending to a merry holiday season.
Weston would take the high road on this one. The more he thought it over, the more he understood an apology from him was a must.
After Weston grabbed his heavy jacket, he put it on and then left his cabin, securing the door behind him. “Brr,” he chirped, gritting his teeth, shivering from the cold blast of air. He broke into a full run, anxious to get himself in out of the cold. He loved winter, but there were many times he had prayed for an early spring, hoping the groundhog wouldn’t see his shadow.
As Weston neared the Harrington town house, his eyes were drawn upward to the balcony. Snow flurries began to fall hard, blurring his vision. As his sight cleared, what he saw caused him to stop dead in his tracks. His heart pounded against his rib cage with force, making him feel slightly nauseated. This just wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. His eyes were deceiving him. They had to be. There was no other plausible explanation.
Jessica’s and Jarred’s lips were locked in a very passionate kiss. That was how it appeared to Weston. But that just couldn’t be. Jessica and Jarred were only friends. At least that’s what she had convinced him of. Even though he knew Jarred had a romantic interest in her, the feelings simply weren’t mutual. There wasn’t any reciprocation on her part. Jessica was madly in love with him.
Weston had been pretty darn sure of Jessica’s love for him—up until now, before this crazy intimacy between her and Jarred had happened. There was no way he could face her right now. If she lied to him, tried to make him believe he hadn’t seen her kissing Jarred, her credibility would be shot. He couldn’t stand it if she tried to make a fool of him, tried to make him feel foolish.
With Weston’s fears planted deeply in his mind, he turned around and headed back toward the cabin. He needed to leave Aspen right away. It was the only feasible thing to do. Getting out of this city was all he could think about. He had found the love of his life in Aspen and now he was losing it in the very same place. He’d call his parents once he was on his way to the airport. Perhaps he’d call them after he was already seated on the plane. That way, neither his mom nor dad could talk him out of leaving.
No doubt Sandra and Jacque would think their only son was acting rashly.
A single tear escaped Weston’s eye.
Weston wanted to kick himself for going off the deep end. Feeling like a pouting juvenile, he was uncomfortably seated on an airplane. The decision to leave Aspen had been made in the heat of anger, in the midst of excruciating pain. Although he deeply regretted the stupid move, there was no turning back now. The plane was about to push back from the gate. Despite all the romantic movies, where the plane came to a screeching halt to reunite feuding lovers, that wasn’t happening here. Not in this lifetime.
Since the plane was still at the gate, Weston thought he could at least get in a call to Jessica. He felt apprehensive, especially about her reaction to him bailing out on her like a lovesick kid. In spite of what had happened earlier, he pulled out his cell phone.
Not only had the kissing scene been shocking to Weston’s entire system, it had nearly killed his spirit to witness it. Even if it had been the other way around, that Jarred was kissing her, there hadn’t seemed to be any resistance on her part. Still, he should’ve at least given her a chance to defend it. After dialing her number, he held his breath in nervous anticipation.
“Hello.” The male voice was easy to recognize.
Even though Weston knew it was Jarred’s, he decided to bite the bullet and ask for her anyway. “Jessica, please.”
“Sorry. She’s unavailable.” Derisive laughter came next. “She’s busy, busy taking care of me. When you snooze, bro, you lose.”
Jarred had recognized Weston’s voice and had taken advantage of the awkward situation he had single-handedly created. Without responding to the churlish remarks of his rival, Weston hung up, fearful for his relationship with Jessica. He’d try to call her later, once he settled down back at home.
That Weston had run away rather than confronting the situation head-on wouldn’t help matters any. All he could do was pray she’d understand why he hadn’t stayed to fight for their love. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her, because he did, desperately. He just wasn’t interested in playing right into Jarred’s unscrupulous hands.
If Jessica had been kissing Jarred back, Weston felt that he wasn’t meant to be with her. That hurt a lot. Wanting to give Jessica the benefit of the doubt, he still hoped his eyes had deceived him, yet…
To take his mind off all the unpleasantness, Weston closed his eyes, embracing the sweetest, most intimate moments he had shared with Jessica. The girl had set his entire anatomy on fire. As he truly realized how much was at stake, he grimaced.
Jessica had given all of herself to him. Had he been unfair to her in return?
Weston hadn’t slept a wink the entire night. As he sat up on the side of the bed, he couldn’t believe how intense his thoughts of Jessica were. He had made a grave mistake leaving Aspen like that; it had been a very rash decision. He should’ve gone to her and talked about what he had seen go down. Maybe it hadn’t been as bad as it had looked. Who are you trying to kid? The kiss he had witnessed had looked very passionate.
Weston could still kick himself for his reaction. How could they build a solid future together if he ran away from her whenever a serious issue arose? He looked over at the phone for the hundredth time. He had started to call her so many times but had repeatedly backed out at the last second.
What to say to Jessica was Weston’s biggest dilemma. She had to know by now that he had skipped out on her. He hadn’t even said anything to his parents until after he’d headed to the airport. All the while he’d been heading down the mountain, he had prayed that the sudden snowfall would worsen, and send him back up to the top, back into Jessica’s comforting arms.
There had to be a reasonable explanation why Jessica had been intimately involved with Jarred like that; he hadn’t trusted her enough to find out. He had called his parents to find out if she had contacted them, but he hadn’t been able to deal with their comments, either. Ju
st as he’d figured, his dad tried to talk him out of leaving Aspen, telling him it was a terrible mistake to run out at the first sign of trouble.
Love doesn’t bolt like that, Jacque had said to his son, the distinct sound of disappointment in his voice. Love stays and faces the issues, stays until problems are resolved, remains until a decision is made by both to end the relationship.
Weston’s mother had also been surprised and dismayed by his course of action. He couldn’t forget the anguish in her voice when she’d learned he was leaving Aspen, leaving on a note of anger and distrust.
The phone rang just as Weston reached for it. He had finally decided to call the woman he loved. It might already be too late. A lot of time had passed. Hearing his mother’s voice on the other end caused a tinge of joy to rise, but it only lasted a second. “Mom, have you spoken with Jess?”
Sandra cleared her throat. “I spoke with her mother before calling you. Sahara talked to Jessica, but she already knew you were gone. She doesn’t know why you left. Jess went to the cabin to see what was up when you didn’t show up or bother to call. The cabin was empty, of course. She’s a very hurt young lady.”
Weston punched at his thigh. “This is messed up. I need to call her. I was about to do that when you called. I’ll call back once I talk to her.”
“Okay, son, we’ll wait.”
After Weston dialed Jessica’s number, he only let it ring once. Cradling the phone, he stared off into space. The right words hadn’t come to him yet. Were there any right words in this instance? So many wrong things had been said. He had acted out of character, hadn’t used an ounce of the common sense God had given him. Tired of beating himself up with words, Weston stormed into the bedroom to shower.
Chapter 11
Devastated was an understatement for what Jessica felt when she’d first learned that Weston had already flown back to New York. The pain had sent her reeling. Still, she hadn’t regretted the deep intimacy she had shared with him. It was impossible to regret the most beautiful moments in her life.
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