by Olivia March
Indeed, if she wanted safety, Nefarion had the best ideas. To keep her safe, he had brought a dozen men from his homeland, men he trusted. And even if she didn’t see them around her, she knew they were there, watching and protecting her. And she was surrounded by other Keepers right now as well, which was without a doubt the safest place on the entire planet. But staying here meant marrying Nefarion. It meant being a princess, and maybe even a queen. And she was as opposed to that this morning as she had been yesterday.
“How were things with Nefarion last night?” Gwen asked softly.
Annabelle looked down and saw that the baby had fallen asleep on her mommy and lowered her own voice accordingly.
“It was…strained. Nefarion didn’t attempt to molest me in any way, but I could tell he’s very unhappy with this whole thing. And honestly, I don’t blame him. I do have strong feelings for him. I think...no, I know, that this is love for me. And I know people say cliché things like love can conquer anything, cure anything. But I don’t think I believe that. I know I’m not what he needs for his princess. I’m an out-of-work astronomer with no sense of style, a complete inability to speak to large groups, and mediocre looks. I bring literally nothing to the table, and his people would hate me.”
Gwen continued to rock her sleeping baby, her eyes sad as they looked at Annabelle. They looked so sweet together, mother and daughter with titian hair and a bond that was so strong you could literally see it threading their souls together. Annabelle wanted that. She wanted a daughter too one day to dote on and love more than she had ever thought she could love another person before she’d met Nefarion. In her mind her child would hair Nefarion’s black hair and luminous skin, but would have her green eyes. If only…
“I think as women we’ve just been trained to think that we’ll never be as good as we need to be, Annabelle. We’ve always been expected to be good wives, mothers, keep our looks up and in the last few decades we also have had to be the breadwinners. And I know you won’t believe me right now, but you’re plenty worthy of Nefarion. You’re smart, and you’re kind, and you’re beautiful. Everything else you need to know, you can learn. I tell myself that every day when I think about moving back to Arloren with Helion. That I already weathered some of the worst things life could throw at me, and I came out on top. And so have you. If Nefarion is what you want, you should grab the opportunity with both hands and don’t let your insecurities stop you from embracing a once in a lifetime kind of love.”
“She’s right you know,” came a darkly masculine voice a few feet away. Annabelle looked over and saw Tohran looking at her and Gwen with a slightly wistful expression. “I had that kind of love once, back home. I was smart enough to mate my wife just a few days after our first meeting, and I never regretted the impulsive decision. When it’s right you just know, down in your soul.”
Annabelle considered Tohran. She heard sadness, and had a feeling that his story didn’t end well. But he didn’t volunteer it, and she didn’t want to intrude on his privacy. There was some tragedy there, but she was hesitant to know it. He had a look in his eyes that Nefarion sometimes got, like there was pain in his past so profound that it had completely reshaped him as a person. Now Tohran seemed to actively court death, if the way he was speaking to the Shadow Keepers was any indication. Did she even want that sort of love? The kind that, when over, you didn’t even want to live anymore? And even if she didn’t want that, could she stop herself from falling that hard for Nefarion now?
* * * *
Nefarion cast his shadows out again and again, slicing and stabbing and throwing. He was covered in gore, and death, and yet still more and more came, wanting to die, begging to die. All sense of time passing left him, so focused was he on eliminating his enemies. These Scourge bastards would kill Annabelle in a heartbeat. Kill her, or take her captive as they’ve been doing to women in the refugee camps. Every Scourge he killed was a Scourge that wouldn’t get a shot at his mate.
The day wore on and on, Helion pushing a brutal pace to eliminate as many enemy forces as possible. No doubt he wanted these campaigns ended even more now that he had so much to lose. Nefarion could relate. He wanted to get Annabelle safely to Balruin as soon as possible himself, but he didn’t dare send her on without him. Not only might his own people behave poorly towards her if he wasn’t present, but he hadn’t yet convinced her to be his mate in truth. He needed Annabelle close by if his courtship was to be successful in her eyes. In his eyes, they were already mates, and the ceremony to follow was just a formality. In her eyes, their night together was just a one-off and she fully intended to leave him.
Nefarion stabbed a Scourge with viciousness on that thought. He’d been thinking all day between engagements about things he could do for Annabelle during this courtship period. He intended to grab some flowers for her on their way back to camp. Their company had passed a greenhouse on their way to this engagement. It had appeared more than a little unkempt, but he was positive that there would be flowers in there worth taking back to his mate. The other men would mock him from now until the day he died, but Nefarion was determined to do this job right, much was at stake. He’d do any embarrassing, seemingly pointless gesture it took to get Annabelle to agree to be his mate.
Slash, stab, kill. Again, and again. Maybe he’d get some more of those chocolate things he’d picked up the night he made Annabelle his. She’d appreciated them through the night when they’d taken breaks in their lovemaking. Slide, cut, thrust. All around him Scourge died, and his fellow soldiers in winking gold armor attacked the impressive viciousness, focused and honed on their targets. Whereas Nefarion was on autopilot, massacring his enemies in the flesh while his mind was miles away, wondering what his mate was doing.
He was obsessed with her, and every moment they were apart he longed to cut the distance and just be in the same room with her. He wanted to be inside her every moment of every day, but if that wasn’t possible he’d take just being close enough to smell her skin and watch expressions play across her face. Annabelle was wonderfully transparent with her emotions. In Balruin that would be a weakness, but he couldn’t bring himself to change that about her. He didn’t want to change anything about her, except maybe her stubbornness in denying his suit. After a long day of raiding he wanted to take solace in her arms and her body. Instead he had to engage in human courtship rituals.
Before long there were no more Scourge left to take his aggression out on, mores the pity. Purging his frustration on the Scourge was a convenience his mate would benefit from. He looked around and saw his fellows checking their comrades and tending to injuries. Nefarion didn’t have any, so he looked for Commander Helion instead. Say what you would about Light Keepers, but their prince was always to be found in the thick of the fighting. Nefarion could respect that about him, even if his prissiness was an irritation.
“Are we done for the day then, Commander Helion?” he called out as he advanced towards the prince. Helion had been quite a savage today, he noticed. There wasn’t a spot on that pretty, golden armor that wasn’t coated in remains. And Helion’s white hair sported so much gore you could hardly tell the color beneath.
“We are,” Helion replied, satisfaction in his tone. “We’ve done some real damage to the Scourge today. I’ll be proud to report this day to High Commander Bron.”
“In that case, I request your leave to detour on our way back to camp. There are some items I need to pick up for my courtship efforts this evening.” Nefarion gritted his teeth when he saw Helion’s eyes light up in amusement.
“I see. Permission granted of course. I wish you luck in your efforts with your mate-to-be tonight. Perhaps you need some advice on how to seduce a woman to your arms?”
Nefarion eyed Helion, picturing a shadow tendril cutting across his face to put an actual smile on it. Helion was at fault for this whole courtship debacle, and all to please his mate. Nefarion felt sure he could have convinced Annabelle to accept him his own way, but because of Lady
Gwen he had to do it the human way.
“I need no advice from you, Light Keeper. If your mate didn’t have you by the balls, I could do this in my own way instead of doing this mincing courtship.”
“I’m going to let that insult slide, because I understand how hard it will be to deny yourself your mate’s body. And also because, while you’re going without under Tohran’s watchful eye, I will be enjoying my own mate’s…company.”
Helion walked off whistling to himself, checking on his men in a noticeably good mood, damn his eyes. Nefarion hated to give him the last word, but here on Earth he was under Helion’s command, and at least in the surface had to show him the respect due a Commander. Once they got back to Arthaneas, however, Nefarion would find him and continue that discussion…with knives.
For now, he had a mate to woo if he ever had a chance of getting that damned device out of her body and his cock into it. He wanted his mother’s ring on her finger and the ritual words said. He wanted to spend a few days inside Annabelle until she was well and truly pleasured, and perhaps even planted with his seed. Until he accomplished this goal his future was in an unpleasant limbo, knowing he’d found the other half of his soul but not able to claim it and merge it again with his own half. He would win this campaign though, there was no other outcome that he could accept. Annabelle would be his, or he would just cease to be.
Chapter 20
Annabelle had had a lovely day. Talking with Gwen had been wonderful, if a little confusing. She admired Gwen’s bravery, she truly did. Not only had she protected her newborn daughter for months after the invasion, but she’d also had the courage to accept Helion as her husband, even knowing she’d be a queen one day. And honestly, just agreeing to be Helion’s wife was courageous, because in Annabelle’s mind, Helion was one ice-cold bastard. Nefarion could be cold too, but Helion gave her frostbite whenever she was in the same room with him. Nefarion, on the other hand, made her hot all over. Entirely too hot.
The conversations today had given her much to think about. Hadn’t she been telling herself that she needed to be brave? She’d failed to help others when they needed it the most, and she wanted to make amends for that cowardice. In denying herself a chance to be happy with Nefarion, was she just giving into fear again? No, she didn’t want to be a queen. But she was a smart, educated woman who loved Nefarion to distraction. He’d saved her life, but he’d also shown her how it felt to really be alive. Even before the invasion she’d just been going through the motions, too timid to embrace adventure, too shy to get involved with men. Her stars had been a cold, distant comfort for everything she’d been missing in her life.
Things would be different if she embraced what Nefarion was offering her. She could finally come out of her shell. Surely, she could use her position as the princess to do good works for people as well. And what more adventure could she imagine than marrying an alien prince and moving to his planet to make a new life? It could be the most freeing, daring thing she’d ever done, and ever would do. And the biggest bonus of all would be just having Nefarion in her life forever.
But Nefarion…what he would get out of the arrangement just wasn’t proportionate to what she would get. Nefarion had position, and money, and incredible good looks. His confidence was off the charts, and his abilities as a warrior defied belief. And for some reason, this Keeper prince wanted her as his wife. But if she agreed and married him, what then? What would he do when she faltered as a princess, if he discovered that she couldn’t do that job well? What if he got tired of her rather pedestrian looks and wanted a more beautiful wife? Did Keepers have a smooth, civil divorce process? Could she be returned to Earth?
To be fair, maybe she’d decide she wanted a divorce. Maybe she’d get tired of Nefarion’s aggression, and maybe she’d get worn out by all his stamina in the bedroom. Maybe she’d get tired of multiple orgasms and a husband that was better looking than she was. Maybe the job of being princess over an alien race would get too challenging and fatiguing. Annabelle rolled her eyes a little, laughing to herself. Like she’d ever get tired of making love with Nefarion. It was exhausting, but in the best kind of way. Even after just one night without having him inside her she couldn’t stop thinking about getting him naked.
“What is amusing, Annabelle?” came Tohran’s voice to her left. He had not left her side for a moment today. He had eaten his meal with her and Gwen, contributed to their conversation here and there, and hadn’t even stepped out to take a leak, all day. Annabelle wanted to be annoyed by this excessive surveillance, but it was comforting in a way. With Nefarion gone, and a traitor somewhere in this very camp, it was nice to know that Tohran was so very close by if anything were to occur.
“Oh, I was just thinking about our conversation earlier with Gwen. About taking risks for that once in a lifetime love.”
“And that amused you?” Tohran looked skeptical, and that made Annabelle laugh more.
“No, the idea of that kind of love doesn’t amuse me, just the circumstance of it all. I’m a nobody in Earth terms. Sure, I went to school and I have a degree, but I’m just solidly middle class, and not even high middle. I can’t wrap my mind around what Nefarion is asking of me most of the time. And really, I really don’t think I’d be doing Nefarion any favors by accepting his proposal. Even if I was willing to take the risk for love, love isn’t always enough. I might be what Nefarion wants right at this moment, but I’m not what he needs.”
They reached the tent in thoughtful silence after that last remark. Tohran didn’t bother to offer any more platitudes about love, and Annabelle was grateful. It was hard enough coming to terms with all these confusing thoughts in her own mind without others putting on the pressure as well. They made it all sound so easy, to just let go and let fate take the wheel, and what comes will come. But that wasn’t her.
Annabelle was a thinker, an overthinker, she over-analyzed everything. And what her overly analytical brain was telling her right now was that Nefarion was in lust with her, not really love. He was a lonely soldier far from home, and because he’d seen her at her weakest and saved her life, now felt some obligation to her. He might even feel some affection for her, because hell Annabelle really was in love and she’d known Nefarion the same amount of time. But affection wasn’t good enough, it wouldn’t make up for everything she wasn’t bringing to the relationship. Not on his end anyway.
Annabelle walked into the tent thinking about these oppressively heavy thoughts, only to be brought up short right upon entry. She hadn’t been paying attention on her walk home, but clearly the men were back from their sorties for the day. Because as soon as Annabelle walked into the tent, she was greeted by a hothouse. Flowers adorned every available surface in the room, beautiful, fragrant, and extravagant. Annabelle had received flowers only once in her entire life, when she’d begged her parents to send her something special to school for her sixteenth birthday. They’d done as she requested, and sent her sixteen long-stemmed watermelon roses, and they had been beautiful.
But this…this was overwhelming. She didn’t even recognize most of the blooms currently decorating the once sparse tent. There were red ones and peach ones and purples one. Blue, and yellow, and cream. Roses and daisies and orchids. And standing amidst all these glorious, delicate blooms was Nefarion. He was a dark presence surrounded by beauty, but not diminished by it. He looked perfectly at home among all the garden blossoms, and Annabelle felt her heart clench in her chest. He had said he would woo her, and he’d started off with the most basic of courtship rituals, bringing flowers. But in typical Nefarion fashion, he’d taken the gesture way over the top.
“Nefarion…how beautiful they are. Where did you find such amazing flowers?” Annabelle asked, moving slowly around the room and looking at each bouquet up close. It was a stalling maneuver, because she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye when she had tears swimming in her own. And if she did go to him, she’d do something foolish, like wrap her arms around him and never
let go.
“We passed a greenhouse during our campaign today,” Nefarion replied, his eyes tracing her while she wandered. It was something Nefarion always did that she’d become accustomed to. Whenever Annabelle was in the room, or nearby, Nefarion always locked his gaze on her and her alone, like nothing else mattered in the world.
“I know that procuring flowers is something human males do while courting, so I brought back as many as I could. I also brought these.”
Annabelle stared, bemused, as Nefarion handed her several boxes of chocolate and a big teddy bear. A teddy bear? A giggle escaped without her permission, the bear was just too fluffy and precious. Nefarion had brought her chocolate before, the night they went to bed together. But certainly not in this quantity, good lord. He really pulled out all the stops for his first attempt at courtship. And she thought it was too adorable for words. Who knew a savage Balruin Keeper had such sweetness inside him? She doubted even Nefarion had known he had this sort of softness within.
“Thank you Nefarion, I’m completely overwhelmed by all this. It’s so kind of you.” Annabelle hugged her bear to her chest and took her new chocolates to a nearby table. When she looked back at Nefarion though she spied a grimace on his face, and laughed softly. “Is it really that bad, to be thought of as kind?”
“Not by my mate perhaps. But for any warrior in Arthaneas, especially in Balruin, being considered kind is no compliment.”
Nefarion prowled away then, and Annabelle got the pleasure of watching him take off all the armor he was wearing. She loved the way he looked in all that sleek, black armor, but a bared Nefarion was even more amazing. She was sure if her mouth opened right that second a copious amount of rather unattractive drool would leak out, so she stayed silent and just enjoyed the show.