“I should be angry with you for putting me on the spot like that,” Jess said, swatting TJ’s thigh once TJ slid into the driver’s seat.
“Are you?” TJ asked.
“Not at all. I had fun,” Jess said as she laced TJ’s fingers with hers. “Do I want to know how many dates you’ve awed with your trivia savvy?”
“I’ve never brought a date to trivia night before.”
“What made you think to bring me?”
TJ shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Uh-uh. I don’t buy it. There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“People play bar trivia because it’s entertaining. Were you entertained?”
“Yes.”
“There you go.” TJ slid her hand out from under Jess’s and put both hands on the steering wheel. “I could get used to this German engineering. This handles like a dream. Do you ever just go for a drive?”
Something gnawed at Jess, preventing her from accepting TJ’s simple explanation. If TJ thought bar trivia was so enjoyable, wouldn’t she have wanted previous dates to experience it? And why the sudden diversion about the car? “You wanted me to play. You wanted me to win. Why?”
“What’s the fastest you’ve taken her?”
“TJ.”
TJ sighed. “I didn’t want to call attention to it.”
“Well, you’ve got my attention now.”
TJ reached for Jess’s hand. “You told me you like the game room at GU because there you’re just Jess. I wanted you to have a night of being just Jess, the one who’s not only playful and fun, but smart.” She paused. “No. Not just Jess. All Jess.”
Jess’s head was spinning. On one hand, she wanted TJ to stop the car so she could launch herself at her and smother her with kisses. It was a selfless, sincere act on TJ’s part to want to give her a night of being judged for her knowledge rather than her clothing, assets, or connections. Nights Jess could be herself without having to inhabit the role long expected of her were blessings as rare as a US senator reaching across the aisle to strike a compromise. On the other hand, she would have preferred an evening without judgment of any sort, which she sensed TJ doing to Derrick for allowing Lilith to hold Jess to a lower standard.
Still, Jess couldn’t fault TJ for being protective of her. If anything, it further endeared TJ to her. There was so much more to Derrick Spaulding than TJ could possibly know, and over time, Jess would share it with her. True, Derrick ceded too much control to Lilith when it came to rearing his own children, but Jess was equally submissive. She could have fought harder for Dillon, forcing Derrick to side with Jess or side with his wife. But she hadn’t wanted to tear up the family, hadn’t wanted to walk away from the life of comfort she enjoyed, and as she glanced at the woman she was falling for, she finally understood what she’d danced around but never before put her finger on. She hadn’t chosen Dillon because she wasn’t in love with him.
She’d wanted to punish herself for it—her lack of deeper feelings for him. How could she not want the most sought-after boy in Montgomery Hills, who loved her? He’d been her confidant, her champion, her friend, her lover. He was sweet and sexy and handsome, and without a doubt, she loved and adored him. Yet she wasn’t in love with him. For as much as she despised Lilith for making her choose between Dillon and her family, or Dillon and her family’s money, Jess could never have married him.
Until TJ walked into her life, Jess had felt unworthy of Dillon’s love, felt something was wrong with her not to reciprocate it. Years of placating Lilith by stifling certain parts of herself and adopting her assigned role of airheaded princess seemed the proper price to pay for being the subhuman who couldn’t love Dillon the way he deserved.
Was she worthy of TJ’s love?
She didn’t think so, but she knew unequivocally that she wanted to be. Leaning over as far as the seat belt would allow and pushing off the shoulder harness when it refused to give her the room she needed, she whispered in TJ’s ear. “Thank you.” She gently tugged on TJ’s earlobe with her teeth and briefly sucked it before settling back into her seat.
“You’re going to make it very hard to leave tonight, aren’t you?” TJ asked.
“Who says you have to leave?”
In the dashboard light, Jess saw TJ white-knuckle the wheel. “I told Kara I’d be home by midnight. We’re almost at your place, which means I’ll have about twenty minutes before I have to head out.”
“I’m sure she’ll excuse a little tardiness,” Jess said as she rested her hand on TJ’s thigh.
“I try to lead by example. If I’m late, she’ll push the envelope next time she’s out.”
“You’re an excellent role model.”
“You don’t make it easy.”
“Do you want me to?”
“No. Yes.”
Jess chuckled and gave TJ’s thigh a quick squeeze. “I’ll behave.” She clicked the gate remote in her purse. “Take the next right and follow the driveway around to the left. They’ll have parked your truck next to my coupe.” Since TJ had been running late for their date, Jess had saved time by meeting her at the front steps of the main house instead of the guesthouse.
As the path turned left, the immense grounds and gardens of the estate came into view, as much as it was possible this late in the evening. Much of it was lit in part by the moonlight and in part by lights that illuminated the walking paths, sculptures, trees, flowers, and benches. Jess knew TJ wouldn’t have seen this section of the estate during the party.
“The guesthouse is on the right. Park next to your truck, and I’ll give you the tour.” After she complied, TJ handed the keys to Jess, looking somewhat shell-shocked. Jess might as well get it over with. There would never be a good time for TJ to see where she lived, and perhaps the enjoyable evening they’d shared would help soften her to the experience.
As Jess ascended the steps to her front door, TJ lingered behind, staring up at the massive structure. “This is the guesthouse?” TJ asked, her voice rising an octave.
“Yes. It’s where I live.” Jess noticed TJ’s wide eyes and constant head-shaking, as if TJ couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Maybe their fun evening wouldn’t be enough to get TJ over the shock of Jess’s not-so-humble abode.
Jess powered through the tour in record time, ten minutes from start to finish, and they hadn’t even gone into the basement, which was far less a basement than an entirely self-contained five-bedroom unit. She ended at the kitchen. “My favorite room in the house,” Jess said as she slid into the breakfast-nook bench, watching TJ tour the room.
“How can you choose just one? There are so many.” TJ ran her fingers along the rail at the edge of the range. “This is the most beautiful range I’ve ever seen. Not that I’ve seen much beyond Kenmore.”
“I don’t know that one.”
TJ turned and halfway smiled. “No. I wouldn’t expect you would.”
Jess chose to ignore the melancholic note TJ had struck, hoping she was misreading it. They’d had a fantastic evening, and she couldn’t see why it should change. “You’d think with two ovens and all those burners at my disposal, I’d be a great cook.”
“Not the case?”
“I make a mean microwave popcorn, I have to say.”
Continuing her slow perusal of the appliances, counters, and cabinets, TJ asked, “Is it presumptuous of me to think you have your own cook?”
“My parents employ a private chef. She provides a three-course dinner nightly and either prepares breakfast the night before or is on-site to create a meal. Since I live on the lot, I reap the benefit of her service because it’s only a hundred-yard walk to my front door. The bottom line is my freezer and refrigerator are always full of ready meals, and if I ate half of what was made, I’d be three times my size.”
“Our lives are so similar.”
And damn it, there was that wistful tone again.
Jess crossed the room and took TJ’s hand in both of hers. “Let’s not focus
on our differences. I’ve enjoyed our evening.”
TJ dropped her gaze to the floor and shook her head. “What are we playing at?” Jess heard the hopelessness in the sharp puff of air that escaped from TJ’s nose.
An idea popped into Jess’s head. They needed to find common ground, not play haves and have-nots. “Look around. Tell me what you see.”
TJ scanned the room. “I see a kitchen that could fit half my apartment, a refrigerator the size of a garage, and a range that could double as a dance floor.”
Stepping back to lean on the counter, Jess said, “Stop comparing it to what you don’t see. Try again.”
With a deep breath, TJ again began to survey her surroundings. “I see a hood above a range the size of a parking space.”
“Stop it. You’re comparing again.” Jess pulled on a handle. “What’s this?”
Clearly unamused, TJ crossed her arms. “A drawer.”
Jess slid it back into place. “And these?”
“Hinges.”
Opening a cabinet and indicating the space within, Jess asked, “And this?”
“Cupboard. Are you going to pull out some children’s books and ask me to start naming the objects and animals? Because that’s what this feels like.”
“I might. Now once again, tell me what you see.”
“Range. Hood. Pots hanging from hooks. Cutting board. Block of knives. Microwave. Sink. Shall I continue?”
“And do you have any of those things in your kitchen?” Jess asked.
“I get the point,” TJ said gruffly.
“Do you?”
TJ’s expression softened. “I’m trying.”
“Try harder.” Jess stepped to TJ and wrapped her arms around her waist. “The differences are superficial. What’s important is what’s here.” Jess laid a finger at TJ’s temple. “Here.” She trailed it down TJ’s face and neck, and spread her palm on TJ’s chest. “And right now, here.” She smoothed her thumb along TJ’s bottom lip.
Jess leaned in, but TJ’s gaze dropped to the ground and she shook her head. “I know you’re right. It’s just…” TJ scanned the room. “All this. It’s a lot. I’m sorry.”
Bringing TJ into her house had been a mistake they needed to get past. Jess scanned the kitchen for ideas and then remembered her purse. Scanning its contents, she found a tightly wound silk scarf. As she unraveled it, she patted the breakfast-nook table. “Sit here,” she said. Jess folded the scarf and placed it gently across TJ’s eyes, reaching behind TJ’s head to tie it.
“What are you doing?” TJ asked, her voice dropping an octave.
“Helping you focus,” Jess said as she stood between TJ’s legs and held TJ’s palms against the tabletop with her own. Jess explored TJ’s face and neck with the gentlest of caresses from her nose, lips, and tongue. She nuzzled below her ears and chin. “You smell so good,” Jess said as she let her warm breath skate across the tiny hairs on TJ’s skin, causing TJ’s breath to hitch and goose bumps to erupt where she traveled. Her mouth lingered on TJ’s earlobe, and TJ writhed beneath her. “Taste so good,” Jess whispered as she sucked it into her mouth and enjoyed the squirming she was causing.
Jess needed more contact but relished the sweet torture her body was experiencing. She pressed her chest into TJ’s as she kissed TJ’s throat, chin, and the corner of her mouth. “Feel so good,” Jess said as she claimed TJ’s mouth with her own.
Apparently no longer willing to submit to Jess’s will, TJ reached around the small of Jess’s back and pulled her close. They both moaned from the pleasure of the contact.
Suddenly TJ tugged off the blindfold and slid off the table, taking Jess’s face in her hands. She stared into Jess’s eyes, hunger etched on her face as well as something else Jess couldn’t decipher. Jess half expected TJ to jump her, but instead she bent forward and kissed Jess unhurriedly, offering more eye contact than Jess was used to. It was a little unnerving, but TJ seemed to need another way to communicate. Something was growing between them, and apparently TJ felt similarly.
It didn’t last. The heat between them ratcheted up several more notches, and eye contact became less important than physical contact. TJ’s hands caressed her back and sides, whereas Jess’s traveled up TJ’s abdomen to her breasts. Soft and pliable at first, the nipples soon hardened against her fingers, and Jess felt a rush of power at being able to elicit such a response. TJ pushed into Jess’s hands and offered a short whimper so unlike her that a pool of moisture flooded between Jess’s thighs, knowing it was she who’d caused the sound. When she found herself backed against the table with TJ’s thigh pressed to her center, she was already so close to exploding that she broke the kiss and tried to catch her breath. She didn’t want her first orgasm with TJ to arrive so quickly and take place in her kitchen while fully clothed. Her body had other ideas, not minding whatsoever where they were or whether fabric lay between them.
TJ quickly kissed the corner of Jess’s mouth before holding up her hands in surrender and taking several steps back. “I need to go or I’ll be late.”
“You did not just say that,” Jess said, still breathing heavily. “Get back over here.”
“You know I can’t.”
“You are the meanest woman I’ve ever met. And believe me, I’ve met my share,” Jess said.
“And you,” TJ said as she lifted Jess onto the table, letting Jess’s legs surround her, “are heavenly.” TJ kissed Jess so tenderly, Jess nearly cried. “Sweet dreams, princess,” TJ said, giving Jess a fleeting kiss on the mouth before striding out of the room.
Seconds later, TJ was back, pulling Jess off. “But first, help me find the front door,” she said as she pushed Jess in front of her. “I didn’t drop any bread crumbs earlier.”
Chapter Eighteen
“No, no, no,” Jess had said to Brooke, who was ducking out of a press conference and forcing Jess to take her place. The conference was to announce their father’s twenty-million-dollar gift to the Reilly Hospital for Children, and Brooke was supposed to briefly introduce Derrick after the hospital’s president gave his opening remarks. Brooke claimed a scheduling conflict with a potential client and told Jess to fill in. Although Jess attended many Magnate events and was fine mingling, she didn’t enjoy speaking publicly. Brooke hadn’t left her much choice.
She’d been escorted through the hospital by an efficient staff woman who wouldn’t stop raving about Derrick and the improvements in cancer treatments sure to be made as a result of his gift. He’d had an earlier meeting and told Jess he’d meet her at the hospital. Veering through hallway after hallway, Jess was led to a door with a sign indicating it was private. The woman held the door open for her and said, “He’s in here. I’ll see you all downstairs in a few minutes.”
Abruptly stopping inside the doorway, Jess mumbled a quick apology—mostly to herself. She seemed to have stumbled into a costume party of sorts. People in Disney character costumes were chatting and laughing with one another, while some were attending to their makeup in front of various mirrors that didn’t go with the decor, clearly brought in for whatever event this was. A tall Mickey Mouse, wearing his trademark long-tail black tuxedo jacket, white vest, red pants, yellow bow tie, and puffy white gloves, strode over to Jess in balloon-like black shoes and indicated the roomful of folks behind him. From somewhere within the plastic head, a muffled but familiar voice said, “Well? What do you think?”
Shocked beyond belief, Jess said, “Dad? Dad, what on earth?”
The mouse removed his head and revealed Derrick Spaulding, albeit without his typically perfectly coifed hair. “Suit up, honey. We’ve got kids to visit.”
This wasn’t what Brooke had led Jess to believe. “But what about the press conference?”
Derrick said, “Rumor has it you weren’t happy about this event.”
Jess frowned. “You know I’m not a huge fan of speaking in front of a crowd, but it’s fine.”
“That’s not what I mean. You said I’d lost focus of the
real importance of the gift.”
Damn Brooke. Why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut? Jess had told her she was thrilled with the donation but felt a press conference was overkill. Many marketers would think it a perfect avenue to tout the Spaulding name and values, but Jess preferred a softer approach. Such gifts should be about the causes, not the donors. She’d made the mistake of telling Blabbermouth Brooke how she felt, including saying she thought Derrick was starting to get dangerously close to narcissistic when it came to seeing his name associated with do-gooding. “Daddy, I was out of line. I didn’t mean any—”
“You were right.”
Wait. What? “I was?”
Derrick said, “If you were here fighting for your life, would you care that some muckety-muck at the other end of the hospital you’ll probably never visit was giving some speech about resources, or would you rather meet some of your favorite characters?”
Jess processed the information more slowly than usual because she was so surprised. This was not a side of her father she’d seen in a long time. “So there’s no press conference?”
“There is, but we’ve got better things to do with our time. I know big white polka dots and bright-yellow shoes aren’t your usual style, but would you mind being Minnie for a few hours? I’ve got a great outfit for you.” Derrick turned and asked something of someone who looked to be Cruella de Vil.
“We’re visiting the kids?”
“We are. And every one of them is going to get their choice of a Mickey Ears hat, which we’ll have shipped to them if they don’t like any of the ones we’ve brought, plus a gift certificate to the Disney Store.” Cruella handed Derrick a bulky outfit and a Minnie Mouse head. He, in turn, held them out to Jess. “What do you think?”
Ignoring that he had his hands full, Jess slid her arms around his waist. “I think you’re wonderful. And not having to stand in front of an audience is merely icing on the cake.” She pulled away and took the costume. “I’d be honored to be your Minnie Mouse today.”
And that’s how she found herself sitting across from her father in the back of his limousine as they headed to the office, wrapping up a conversation about how rewarding it had been to spend time with the kids. Considering most of the children were battling leukemia and other cancers, it was nice to be able to give them a distraction for a little while. They’d really enjoyed the characters, especially some of the newer ones like Buzz Lightyear and Sheriff Woody. Jess adored her father for giving her the opportunity to experience something she’d surely never forget.
For Money or Love Page 20