“He could have her arrested.”
“He could. And if he does, she’ll have to accept that. But he hasn’t so far. Maybe sit back and see what they work out? He’s a pretty reasonable guy.”
“What’s there to iron out? If she hadn’t already quit, she’d be fired. She loses either way and yay, I win.”
Jess heard the frustration in TJ’s voice. “You don’t sound too pleased by the prospect.”
TJ seemed as though she wanted to say something and then changed her mind. “You know what?” She took a sip of water. “I’ll let her know I’m waiting, and we can get out of your hair. Where can I find her?”
“I haven’t convinced you.”
“On the contrary, you’re very convincing. You’re probably right about everything.” TJ spoke without irony, which made her renewal of her wish to depart even more confusing.
“But she can’t stay?”
TJ shook her head. She shoved her hands in her pockets and refused to meet Jess’s gaze.
Jess approached cautiously but intently. “What is it?”
Briefly biting her lip, TJ said, “The only…since before Mom died, the only nights I haven’t been with Kara were when she was in the hospital.”
It was apparent TJ felt selfish admitting it, but the unwavering protectiveness and love inherent in the declaration warmed Jess through and through. She tugged one of TJ’s hands free and threaded her fingers with her own as she led her down the hall. She loved the feel of the firm grip, the warmth, the solidity of the connection. The third doorway on the right was closed to within an inch, which told Jess it was the room Kara had chosen. As she pushed it open, about to call out their entrance, she spotted Kara asleep on the bed, nestled under a large plush bath towel being used as a blanket. Jess turned to TJ with a raised brow, and at TJ’s head shake, she backed them out and closed the door.
Without relinquishing TJ’s hand, Jess pulled TJ back into the kitchen, where she stopped in front of her and met her eyes. Gently tracing her thumb along TJ’s palm, Jess said, “Stay here tonight. You can take one of the rooms adjacent to hers so you won’t have to be away from her. Say yes.”
TJ looked down at their joined hands before raising her eyes to Jess’s. Jess thought she saw the stirrings of desire there as their gazes held, TJ’s eyes shifting between Jess’s as if trying to communicate something vital, but then TJ broke the spell and squeezed Jess’s hand gently before letting go. “You’ve already done so much. I’ll come back in the morning.”
You are the most infuriating woman! Why can’t you accept anything from me? “Stay and talk for a minute at least.”
“So you can tell me everything I’m doing wrong? I haven’t been scrimping all these years so she can throw her future away on some unachievable dream.”
Raising her palms in surrender, Jess said, “I didn’t say anything.”
“You’re thinking it.”
“I think she enjoyed her job.” Jess casually walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a Diet Coke. She didn’t want to have this conversation standing up, squaring off like boxers in a ring. Confrontational body language wouldn’t help defuse the escalating tension.
“You know what she wants to do? Buy rusted-out classics and refurbish them. Do you know how few people actually make it in the car-flipping business? Those cars not only don’t make money for their owners, they bleed money from them. It’s the rare exception that a car is sold for millions at auction.”
Jess slid onto one of the kitchen stools with her drink. “Dillon’s done extremely well for himself. Kara seems just as tenacious and capable.”
TJ snagged her water glass and leaned against the counter. “She needs to go to college. Once she has, she can choose to do whatever she wants.”
“The reverse is also true. She can decide to go to college later. Plenty of people return as older students. I’m speaking with one.”
“I made a promise.”
“And that promise is worth more than her happiness?” Jess was pushing, but given the choices Kara had been making, something—or someone—needed to change.
The tight line of TJ’s mouth suggested she was working to control her temper. “My parenting choices don’t require your approval. Nor are they any of your business.”
“It very much is my business when a kid shows up on my doorstep looking for guidance because her sister’s too pigheaded to listen to reason,” Jess snapped, jumping to her feet. “That girl came here as my friend, and I’m damn well going to look after her as such. She’s staying here tonight with or without your approval, and if you don’t like it, feel free to call the police. Please ask them not to park too close to the GTO.” Jess’s anger flared like steam from Old Faithful, and remaining polite wasn’t doing enough to quell the pressure.
Jess whisked her phone from the counter and typed 911 before sliding it to TJ. “It’s the green button.” A stiff drink was in order, but mindful of the issues the Blake sisters had with their mother, Jess didn’t want to go there. It took every ounce of energy to stand quietly and await a reply.
TJ stared at Jess as if she had no idea what to say. Seconds ticked by as she seemed to contemplate a response.
In a softer tone, Jess said, “She idolizes you on one hand and can’t forgive you on the other. She’s making ridiculously stupid choices because she so desperately wants to do right by you, when it’s a hundred and eighty degrees from what she wants.” The kernel of an earlier postulation suddenly blossomed into a full-blown proof. “Do you know why she returns the cars in the vicinity of the owners?”
“To see if she can get away with it.”
“To see if she’ll get caught. She wants to get hurt because she believes she deserves to be. Because she blames herself for your mother’s death.”
The veins in TJ’s neck bulged and her jaw tightened, leading Jess to expect further argument. Jess reached out and took TJ’s hand. TJ tried to pull away but Jess held tight.
“She shouldn’t,” TJ said.
Jess squeezed TJ’s hand. “I know. And that’s not all.”
“Isn’t that enough?” TJ asked hoarsely.
“I think she wants to get into just enough of a mess to get pushed out of your life. She doesn’t want to get so seriously in trouble that it’s irreversible, because underneath her bad choices, she’s a good kid, and I think juvie or jail scares her. But she wants you to be free of her, free to live your life without having to look after her.”
“I don’t have to. I want to.”
“I know, sweetie. But she thinks she’s the reason you didn’t give us a chance.”
“That’s completely untrue.”
“Is it?” Jess squeezed TJ’s hand again. “If Kara was in college, would you still have ended things between us?”
TJ blinked, her eyes misting as if she’d been slapped. “This isn’t productive.”
“Either she’s right that you’re putting your life on hold, or you’re scared of what you feel for me and you’re running away, or I don’t mean to you what you mean to me.”
TJ ran her free hand through her hair and closed her eyes for a moment before speaking again, quietly and plaintively. “Please don’t do this.”
“Talk to me. Which is it? I’m already hurting, TJ. I can deal with more pain. You’re worth more pain. But I need you to be honest with me. It’s one of the traits I love most about you, and if you’re going to break my heart, I want it to be because you were true to yourself, not because you’re doing what you think is best for me. So give me the truth.”
TJ spoke barely above a whisper. “Kara’s lost so much. I can’t be the reason she loses any more. You’re the first person I…you’ve become…It doesn’t matter. Jess, I’m all she has left. If you and I keep seeing each other, I’m afraid she’ll question how important she is to me. She needs to know she can count on me to be there for her.”
“The best way to show her she’s not in the way is not to put her there. How will she feel if she
thinks she’s the reason you’re not giving us a shot? Scratch that. She already does, and—Jesus—she’s trying to get herself incarcerated.”
A spark of doubt flitted across TJ’s face. Jess seized the opportunity to spread it like wildfire. “TJ, this isn’t a zero-sum game. You don’t have to lose a sister to gain a partner, and she doesn’t have to lose a sister to gain a friend. You’re forgetting two plus one equals three, not two or even one, like you seem to fear.”
A disbelieving smile tugged at TJ’s mouth. “You did not just make a math metaphor.”
Jess drew her forward and slid her arms around TJ’s waist. “I did, and I’ll keep doing it if it means I’m finally getting through to you. Watch out or I’ll start quoting Aristotle.”
“‘No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness’?” TJ put her arms around Jess’s shoulders.
“Is that a dig? I was thinking, ‘The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,’ but I can definitely work with yours.”
TJ pulled Jess close and hugged her. “Touch of arrogance, maybe.”
“Hey, I’m not the one who brought up great minds. But if the shoe fits.” Jess melted into TJ’s embrace as if she were chocolate in the sun. Warmth coursed through her, and she sighed with pleasure.
“I’m sorry,” TJ said. “I’ve made a mess of everything.”
“No. You’re here. Kara’s safe.”
“Why are you giving me another chance?” TJ asked, leaning back within the circle of Jess’s arms.
“We belong together, the three of us.”
TJ chuckled. “You’re volunteering to be involved in the life of a teenager?”
“Touch of madness,” Jess replied, unable to wipe the grin from her face. “Now kiss me before I go completely insane.”
TJ tugged Jess forward. “Pushy as ever,” she said as she caressed Jess’s cheek before kissing her.
Jess relished the feeling of TJ’s soft, supple lips on hers and welcomed TJ’s tongue inside her mouth. The exquisiteness of the sensation made their week apart seem like a frigid winter out of which she was coming indoors to dispel the cold. This, this was what she needed to chase the week-long chill away. “I’ve missed you,” she said as she rested their foreheads together.
“Back atcha,” TJ said.
“Did you just yawn?”
TJ nodded. “Sorry. I’m about as romantic as a Roomba, I know. But I’m emotionally drained and need to get some sleep,” TJ said as she kissed the side of Jess’s mouth. “Walk me out?”
Jess squealed in frustration. “That is so not happening.” She tugged TJ’s hand. “Come with me.” Jess led TJ back toward the bedrooms and entered the one across the hall from the room Kara occupied. “You’re staying here tonight. There’s a robe in the bathroom, fresh sheets and towels, toiletries, and I’ll bring you a T-shirt. The three of us are going to talk in the morning. And you’re going to kiss me good night and not argue.” She slid her arms around TJ’s neck.
TJ smiled. “Demanding yet chivalrous. Enticing combination.”
“If you weren’t so tired, if I weren’t so tired, I’d probably be as honorable as a whore in a brothel.”
“You say the most romantic things,” TJ said as she claimed Jess’s mouth with her own.
*
TJ tried to get comfortable in the massive bed she could easily share with five adults. It wasn’t that it was uncomfortable—the mattress was a perfect mixture of firmness and softness—but the room was so large and the ceilings so high, she imagined trapeze artists swinging above. Unfortunately, they’d get tangled up in the chandelier in the center. Well, the center of the bed side of the room. A separate sitting area with two more chandeliers, chair, couch, and low, round table established the other half. A beautiful upholstered bench with intricately carved wooden legs nestled against the foot of the bed, across from which was the only anomaly in the otherwise old-fashioned suite: a large flat-screen television that occupied much of the wall.
She’d felt guilty moving the many decorative pillows from the bed in order to climb in, knowing full well she’d never remember how they were supposed to be resituated. Too late did she think to take a photo using her phone. Then again, Jess probably had household staff to attend to the sheets and position the decor.
She’d never learn to be completely at ease amid such opulent surroundings. But she was getting used to the idea of needing to accept them in the same way Jess would have to accept TJ would never have dwellings that could measure up. She was growing increasingly confident they could work through such differences. Jess hadn’t criticized TJ for her lack of things but rather had been generous in her praise of TJ for jumping the many hurdles life had placed in her path.
TJ’s heart filled at the thought of Jess, so earnest in her acceptance of Kara and fierce in her protectiveness. Jess had been open, forgiving, and, unlike TJ, willing to put herself out there. Jess was far braver than TJ imagined her to be, far more so than TJ herself had ever been.
It was 1:33 a.m. She wondered whether Jess was asleep, then decided she didn’t care. There was a sweet, courageous, sexy woman down the hall, and she intended to risk waking her up in order to do the one thing she wanted in this moment more than anything.
Having remembered from her house tour where the master bedroom was, TJ headed there. Its door was slightly ajar. Slowly pushing it, she took a step inside and waited for her eyes to adjust. Minimal light crept in from within the bathroom, enough to allow her to make out the bed. Jess lay on her side. TJ didn’t want to wake her but didn’t want to scare her either. At the bedside, she whispered, “Jess?”
“What’s wrong?” Jess asked immediately.
“Nothing,” TJ said as she slipped under the covers. She scooched until she pressed up against Jess’s back, spooning her and resting an arm across Jess’s torso. “I need to hold you.” She pressed a kiss behind Jess’s ear and snuggled close. “And I need to tell you that you scare me, and I need to tell you you’re wonderful. And I need to say thank you. Now go to sleep.”
TJ felt Jess’s body shake with laughter. “What’s so funny?” TJ asked.
“You say those things and expect me to fall back asleep?”
“Yes,” TJ said before brushing aside some of Jess’s hair and dropping a kiss on her neck.
“You’re crazy.”
“About you.”
Jess caressed TJ’s arm before covering it with her own. “I like you here.”
TJ gave Jess a quick squeeze and settled in. “Good night, princess.”
Chapter Twenty-two
Warm. That was the first sensation Jess had upon waking. She was very warm, and it had everything to do with the firm yet soft body next to her. Jess lay on her back, and TJ had one leg slung over Jess’s legs, one arm around her waist. Jess slept surprisingly well considering the furnace snuggled against her, and she was reluctant to move. Luxuriating in the feel of TJ, she stayed put as long as she could before her insistent bladder forced her hand. Slowly moving out from under her human blanket, she silently congratulated herself for not waking TJ.
It didn’t take long to locate Kara, who was focused on the action playing out on the game room’s large television screen and manipulating one of the many game consoles Jess kept for company. Jess appreciated Kara’s consideration in keeping the volume low, though the room was designed to minimize sound travel. “I thought teenagers slept ’til noon,” Jess said, tightening the robe’s belt around her waist.
“Not when every video game I’ve ever wanted to play is at my fingertips.” Kara stopped the game and the weaponry fell silent. “Is it okay?”
“This room is meant to be used. Can I get you something to eat? Drink?”
“TJ’s keys are here. Did she stay with you?”
Damn, this wasn’t exactly how Jess had envisioned the direction of this conversation. With everything they’d discussed the previous night, however, Jess wasn’t going to lie. “Not the way you think.”
&nbs
p; Kara beamed and set down the controller. “Sweet!”
“Is it?” Jess hoped Kara wouldn’t change her mind. The reality of her and TJ being together might be less exciting to Kara than the idea of it.
“Totally. She never stays the night anywhere.”
“Maybe she’s waiting for the right woman,” Jess said carefully.
“Maybe she’s found her.”
The thought made Jess happier than a child playing with a litter of Labrador puppies. “Shall we come up with a game plan for the GTO?”
Kara frowned. “Reality sucks.”
Jess laughed. “Come on. Let’s figure out if we can unsuck it.”
*
An hour and a half later, Jess, Dillon, and Kara were seated at the kitchen table, talking and laughing when TJ entered. Jess was the first to notice. “Good morning,” she said as the others turned. Kara reluctantly rose and, head down, walked over to TJ, who immediately opened her arms.
“I’m sorry,” Kara mumbled into TJ’s chest.
TJ held her tight. “You’re in big trouble, young lady.”
“I know.”
“I love you, Kare.”
“Love you too,” Kara muttered before shuffling back to the table.
Dillon crossed the floor and offered his hand. “TJ, nice to see you again.”
“Dillon, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry about all this,” TJ said, shaking his hand.
“We’ll work something out. Grab some coffee and join us.”
This was uncharted territory. Jess didn’t know how she was supposed to greet TJ in front of Dillon and Kara. She knew how she wanted to but didn’t want to pressure her. Taking the safe route, Jess headed for the espresso machine and pulled out a mug from the cabinet. “Espresso, cappuccino, Americano, or latte?”
TJ tilted her head back the way she came. “Do you have a sec?”
Jess set the mug down and followed TJ past the dining room into the living room. TJ hadn’t reached for her, instead keeping her hands tucked in the front pockets of her jeans. Jess hoped she hadn’t changed her mind from last night to this morning, but TJ’s body language wasn’t screaming “Hold me.” Jess wasn’t sure she could keep a handle on her emotions if TJ acted like nothing had changed between them.
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