Out of Mind

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Out of Mind Page 4

by Jen McLaughlin


  I stood in the shadows, waiting to see who the fuck this was. Carrie had been texting him, but I didn’t know a single thing about him. “Thank you, George.”

  He knew the butler’s name?

  “Can I get you a cocktail?” George asked.

  Another laugh. “I’d love a whiskey, if you don’t mind.”

  I stepped closer. There was a shuffling sound, and then a tall blond guy stepped through the door. He was handsome, had bright green eyes, and was wearing an impeccable blue sweater and a pair of khakis. He looked…fucking perfect, damn it.

  He was everything I wasn’t right now. Who the hell was he?

  He pulled off his scarf and kept talking to George, but I didn’t hear a word. I was too busy trying not to be jealous of a guy I didn’t even know. He laughed and turned my way…and the smile faded. He looked me up and down, concern clear in his eyes. I knew I looked like hell. I knew I was a wreck. But seeing him looking at me as if he felt sorry for me?

  Fuck no. Not happening.

  “Hi,” he said, hesitating. He crossed the room and held out his hand, offering me his non-dominant hand since he knew I couldn’t use my broken arm. How thoughtful of him. “I’m Riley. You must be Griffin, right?”

  Son of a bitch, he was nice, too.

  I knew right away, within seconds of eye contact, that while this guy was rich, he was not another Cory. This guy was kind and seemed to be a guy that even I could like, under different circumstances. In fact, even I had to admit he was the perfect guy for Carrie…

  If it wasn’t for me being in the way.

  “It’s Finn,” I managed to say without my voice cracking. I set my mostly empty coffee mug down on the side table and shook his hand, not dropping his stare. He was sizing me up, and I had a feeling he’d find me lacking. So I stared right the fuck back. I wasn’t one to back down, even when I was clearly the one who lost this battle. My mind was not whole, and neither was my body. “And you are…?”

  “Riley Stapleton.” He was a little shorter than me, but not by much, and he was strong. His grip didn’t relax on mine at all, even though I didn’t let go of him as quickly as I should have. “I’m a friend of Carrie’s, and our dads are political affiliates.”

  I nodded and released him. He watched me with bright green eyes. His flawless skin and impeccably styled hair made me run a hand over my own roughly shaved head, ending up on my long, jagged cut. “I’ve never heard of you.”

  He smiled easily. “It’s not too surprising. I didn’t really become friends with Carrie till the holiday party. And after that, she left and stayed with you. We’ve only been talking via text and phone.” He nodded toward my arm, his eyes warm and compassionate. “I hear you’re doing better?”

  “Oh yeah. Much.” I looked him up and down, trying to dislike him on principle, but failing. He genuinely seemed to care. Un-fucking-believable. “So you were there when the call came in about me?”

  “I was.”

  I flinched. “How bad was it?”

  “It was pretty bad,” Riley admitted, laughing lightly before motioning me into the living room. “Please. Let’s sit. I don’t want to tire you. Carrie would be angry with me.”

  Tire me? What was I, a fucking baby? “I’m fine.”

  “Still. Let’s sit.”

  Damn it, I should have been the one to invite him to sit, since I kinda sorta lived here. I should have been polite and mannerly, and invited him inside. Instead, I’d questioned him in the foyer like a dickhead. I led him into the opulent room, hovering by the couch awkwardly while Riley seated himself. I sat beside him, letting my broken arm rest against my chest, and gripped my knee with my hand.

  George came in with two glasses of whiskey and set them in front of us. He left the bottle behind and I knew it was because of me. One drink wouldn’t hurt, would it? I eyed it, knowing I wanted it way too badly and unable to stop myself from picking it up. I drained it in one gulp, turning to Riley with more confidence. I wasn’t used to this feeling. It fucking sucked.

  I felt inferior and incompetent in the face of such perfection.

  “So.” I looked at him again. He’d been watching me drink. When I met his eyes, he quickly looked away and picked up his own whiskey. “You’re a friend of Carrie’s, huh?”

  “I am.” Riley’s hand tightened on his crystal glass. “You don’t need to worry about me, man. I’m not after her or anything.”

  I blinked at him. “I never said you were.”

  “I just wanted to make that clear. I mean, she’s a great girl, and you’re a lucky guy.” Riley looked down at his drink and shrugged. “But anyone with eyes can see she loves you, and I’ve never come between a guy and a girl before. I won’t be starting now.”

  “You don’t get why she loves me though, right?” I poured more whiskey with a trembling hand. “You don’t understand why we work.”

  Riley let out an uneasy laugh. “I get it perfectly fine.” Riley reclined against the couch and watched me. I half expected to see criticism in his eyes. Or judgment. There wasn’t, damn it. “You seem like a good guy. Why would I question that?”

  “I’m not one of you.” I motioned down his body. “I’m different.”

  “Different is good sometimes.” Riley took a small sip. I forced myself not to gulp down the contents of my whole glass. “I’m not like her father any more than she is. Don’t assume I am just because I run in the same circles.”

  I set the bottle down and raised the glass to my lips. As I drank, I thought on his words. He was right. I was judging him, and that wasn’t fair of me. “I’m sorry.”

  Riley started. “Excuse me?”

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t make assumptions.” I lifted my glass to him and tried to brush my prejudice and insecurities aside. “If you’re a friend of Carrie’s, you’re a friend of mine.”

  He seemed surprised at my about-face. “Uh, good.” He shifted his weight. “How’s the arm doing?”

  I looked down at the sling. “Still broken.”

  “That’s unfortunate,” Riley said dryly, amusement in his eyes. “Maybe tomorrow it won’t be?”

  “Maybe.” I smiled. I couldn’t help it. “What do you do when you’re not here?”

  Riley took another sip. “I’m still in college. Upstate California, but I’ll be finished with my bachelor’s degree soon. Then next year I’ll be moving to Southern California for my master’s and doctorate.”

  So he’d be by Carrie and me soon. Fucking fabulous. “Let me guess, somewhere really close to the University of California in San Diego?”

  “Yeah.” Riley flushed and looked out the window, so I took the opportunity to study him. I tried to picture him as this villain who was out to steal my girl, but I couldn’t. I really wanted to, but it wasn’t there. “That’s the plan anyway.”

  I nodded even though he wasn’t looking at me. “I plan on starting at Carrie’s school soon, too.”

  Riley turned back to me. “Oh yeah? What major?”

  “Uh…” I racked my memory for what I’d decided to do, but the word wouldn’t come. I knew it, but my fucking mind wouldn’t work. Another side effect of being almost blown to pieces, I guess. I couldn’t remember a damn thing. “I’m still deciding. Things got a little confused when I came home like this.”

  Riley nodded. “I can see why. I wish you all the best of luck, man.”

  “What are you going for?”

  “Law, of course.” Riley twisted his lips. “My father wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  I was about to ask him what he would do if it weren’t for his father, but the front door opened. “Is that Riley’s car I see out front?” Senator Wallington asked. “Where are you, boy?”

  George cleared his throat. “He’s in the living room, sir.”

  “They’re back,” Riley said unnecessarily. My brain might be scattered, but it wasn’t completely useless. Riley rose to his feet and smoothed his shirt. “You need a refill?”

  I
looked down at my glass. I hadn’t even noticed I’d finished it again. How many had I had? My head was spinning a little bit already. Shit. “No, thank you. I’m fine.”

  My voice slurred on fine. Riley was polite enough to pretend he didn’t notice. “All right.”

  “Riley? Sorry to keep you waiting. We had to search for the perfect tree and—” Senator Wallington stopped in the doorway, his eyes going from me to Riley. I didn’t have to be sober to know who he preferred. “Oh. I see Griffin was keeping you company.” He eyed the whiskey on the table, and then pointedly looked at my empty glass. “Hopefully you two got along all right.”

  I flinched. Riley laughed and dragged his hand through his perfect hair. I missed my fucking hair. “How could we not? He was wonderful. Welcomed me into the home with open arms.”

  “Indeed.” Senator Wallington eyed me dubiously. He wasn’t flat-out rude, never that. But I knew he didn’t like me with Carrie. He tolerated me. Nothing more. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  I looked past him. “Where’s Carrie?”

  “She’s coming.” The senator gave me a tight-lipped smile. “She stopped to talk to your father.”

  Right. My father. I should have been spending time with him instead of drinking in the living room. I had questions to ask him. “Oh.”

  Senator Wallington turned to Riley. “Come and see the tree. It’s humongous.”

  “Sure thing.” After a quick nod, Riley turned to me. “You coming, Finn?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t need to go out there with a man who hated my guts to stare at a tree that would be inside the house soon enough. Especially when my head was spinning like a fucking carousel. I’d rather wait for Carrie to come inside. “Nah. Go on without me.”

  Senator Wallington eyed me suspiciously, but grinned at Riley. “Come on, then.”

  Riley went outside with him, not looking back again. Unable to resist, I stood at the window and watched him and the senator as they stood next to the car with the tree on the roof. It was fucking huge. Would probably fill up my entire apartment.

  But in this house? It would be just right.

  As I watched, the senator threw his arm around Riley’s shoulders and said something that made Riley laugh. He’d never accept me like that. Broken or not, he never would have been so friendly to me. It was time I accepted it. I was second choice.

  Hell, probably his last choice.

  Riley gestured to the tree while saying something that had the senator grinning. Carrie and her mother came up. While her mother beelined for Riley and the senator, Carrie started for the door. Her father called her over, and she turned to him and walked to the car.

  As she talked, she turned to Riley, smiled, and smacked his arm while also laughing at something he said. She didn’t hit me anymore. Was probably too scared to hurt me or some shit like that. As a matter of fact, she didn’t smile with me anymore. Not like that. I hadn’t seen her smile like that for way too long. Not even with me.

  But without me?

  She looked happy. A hell of a lot happier than she’d been.

  I grabbed the bottle of whiskey off the table and stalked out of the living room, out into the foyer, and headed for the servant’s entrance into the kitchen. I needed to clear my head. Maybe some fresh air would help me think clearly, since I couldn’t seem to do that anymore. Hell, if I was smart, I’d see the one thing that was staring me right in the fucking face, even if I was too selfish to admit it.

  She was better off without me.

  And she was better off with Riley.

  I took my teal cashmere cowl off and peeked into the living room. Empty. Riley came up behind me and helped me remove my coat, and I smiled at him in thanks as I strained to see if Finn was lurking somewhere. He was nowhere to be found, even though he’d been with Riley only minutes before.

  Part of me wondered how that had gone. Finn had a tendency not to like guys who were my friends, so it made me think maybe Finn tried to scare Riley off. Or maybe he’d been as taken in by him at the first meeting as I’d been. Something about Riley screamed for you to like him instantly. Outside, he’d been cracking jokes to me about how much my father kept pushing him toward me, despite my very real boyfriend inside the house.

  On top of that, he’d told me he’d met—and loved—Finn.

  That made me like him even more. He obviously had good taste. “Where were you two hanging out?” I asked him.

  “In the living room.” Riley hung my coat on the coat stand and motioned me forward. “I’m sure he’s still there. Let’s go find him.”

  We walked into the living room, but it was clear he wasn’t there anymore. An empty glass sat on the table, but nothing else. “He’s not here.” I picked it up and sniffed it. Whiskey. So, he’d been drinking. “But he obviously was at one point.”

  “Yeah. With me.” Riley watched me closely. Too closely. “That’s my glass, though. Not his.”

  Hope surged through me. “Oh. He wasn’t drinking?”

  “He was. He must have cleaned up after himself when he left.” Riley shrugged. “He must’ve put the bottle away, too.”

  I swallowed hard. He’d probably taken it with him to finish it off. But Riley didn’t need to know that. I’d hoped that after last night, he might not feel the need to drink himself into oblivion. I’d hoped… It didn’t matter what I’d hoped.

  It hadn’t happened.

  I gave Riley my back while I composed myself. Once I was ready, I turned to him with a bright smile. “I can get you a refill, if you’d like.”

  “Yes, please.” He hesitated, reached for my hand, but dropped it by his side without me having to reject him. Good, because I didn’t want to. “Are you okay, Carrie?”

  “I’m great,” I said, forcing a cheerful note to my voice. “I mean, it’s hard to see him like this.” I motioned toward the empty glass. “But he’s working his way through it. We’re working our way through it.”

  “I didn’t ask how he was.” He stepped closer, watching me from under his lashes. “I asked how you are.”

  I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I told you. I’m fine.”

  “Carrie…” He looked over my shoulder and smiled brightly, changing his tone of voice. “Ah, there you are. We were about to send out a search party for you.”

  Finn stood in the doorway, watching Riley and me with narrowed eyes. When I smiled at him, he smiled back, but I could see the look in his eyes didn’t match. Not at all. If anything, he looked sad. He set down his empty glass, and put the bottle on the table. It was almost empty. “I went looking for my dad, but I couldn’t find him.”

  Riley picked up his cup and headed across the room, talking about having another drink. I trailed behind him, my eyes on Finn. He seemed as if he was being friendly enough. He hadn’t called him Miley or anything else that was close to his name, but not quite right. “I was just talking to him when I came home. He went out to the store.”

  “Oh.” He ran his hand over his head. He used to tug on his curls when he was nervous. Is that what he was trying to do? “I would have gone with him if I’d known. He shouldn’t be going out alone.”

  But he hadn’t wanted to go shopping with me? I wasn’t sure what that meant. “Sorry, I didn’t think you’d want to.”

  He smiled at me. “It’s fine. Now I get to spend time with you…and Riley.” He popped the lid off the whiskey and poured Riley a good amount. “Can’t let you drink alone, now can I?”

  Riley grinned. “Course not. Short Stuff over here isn’t old enough, so I’ve only got you.”

  “Yeah, she’s not quite old enough yet,” Finn murmured as he poured himself another glass. He watched me as he poured, almost as if he was daring me to say something. To start a fight with him. And, man, I wanted to. “We’ve had a few discussions about that, though, haven’t we, Carrie?”

  I curled my hands into balls and bit down on my tongue. Glancing at his glass pointedly, I said, “We have. Too much alcohol is never a
good thing.”

  He laughed. “She thinks I drink too much when I’m stressed out.” He turned to Riley and held his glass out for a toast. “Lately, that’s been all the time, hasn’t it?”

  “Finn…” I started, but he threw his arm over my shoulder and hugged me close. I stole a quick look at Riley. He was watching Finn with concern in his gaze. My cheeks heated. “You doing okay?”

  “Fabulous now that you’re back.” He kissed my forehead, his lips lingering. Despite my uneasiness about his current state of mind, my heart flared to life as the gesture. It was so much like something the old Finn would do. “I missed you.”

  “Did you nap?”

  He fingers tightened on his glass. “Yep.”

  I wanted to ask him if he’d had the nightmare again, but I wouldn’t in front of Riley. “Great. So I see you met Riley?”

  “I did.” Finn led me to the couch, making sure I sat between him and the arm of the couch. Riley sat on Finn’s other side. “We were talking about the night you two became friends.”

  I stole a quick glance at Riley. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yep.” Riley sipped his drink, looking slightly uncomfortable if his furrowed brow was any indication. “How long are you two staying here?”

  “We go back on the thirtieth.”

  “Is that what we decided?” Finn blinked. “I thought we were leaving on the twenty-seventh.”

  I shook my head and rested my hand on his thigh. “No, because you have an MRI that morning.” I softened my voice. “Remember? I put it on a Post-it.”

  “No. I don’t remember.” Finn took a long drink, his leg going hard under my hand. I could practically feel the frustration rolling off him. “How long are you in town, Riley?”

  “Through the afternoon of the first. Then it’s the red-eye flight back to California that night.”

  I nodded. “We were going to stay through then, too, but I thought it would be best if we got Finn back to Cali so we could start setting up his physical therapy appointments, and all the other stuff that goes with his injuries.” I lifted a hand before letting it fall to my lap. “There’s a lot to organize before classes start.”

 

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