by Douglas, Michelle; Gordon, Lucy; Pembroke, Sophie; Hardy, Kate
No, what he felt for Thea was infinitely more complicated. And if there was a single piece of jewellery that could convey it to her, without him having to find the words, he’d buy it for her in a heartbeat—no matter the cost. But there wasn’t.
With a sigh, Zeke dragged his gaze to the next case, only to find tray after tray of sparkling diamond solitaires glinting up at him.
Engagement rings. Not helpful, universe. And why choose now to get a sense of humour, huh?
Besides, she already had one of those. He’d glimpsed it flashing in the candlelight at dinner, recognising it as his grandmother’s, and had barely even managed to muster any surprise about it. What else would the favoured Ashton heir give to his fiancé-cum-business partner? They were building an empire together, based on their joint family history.
A history Zeke had all but been written out of eight years ago.
‘I’m going to have to think about it,’ Thea told the shop assistant apologetically, and Zeke, realising he was still staring at the engagement rings, spun round to face her.
‘We’re leaving?’
‘For now,’ Thea said.
Zeke followed her out of the shop, letting the door swing shut behind him. ‘Nothing that screamed Flynn, huh?’
‘Not really. He’s not really a flashy cufflinks kind of guy, is he?’
Something tightened in Zeke’s chest, hearing her echo his thoughts, but he couldn’t say if it was because she knew Flynn better than he’d thought or because her thought processes still so closely resembled his.
‘So, where next?’ he asked, trying to ignore the feeling.
‘Um, there’s a leather shop down here somewhere.’ She waved her hand into an arcade of small, dark but probably insanely expensive shops, hidden under the arched stone roof. She hadn’t even let Helena explore them properly last time. ‘Do you think Flynn needs a new briefcase?’
‘I think Flynn will love whatever you buy him, because it’s from you.’
Thea gave him a look. One that suggested she was trying to evaluate if he might have been taken over by aliens recently. ‘Seriously?’
‘Okay, I think he’ll pretend to love it, whatever it is, because that’s the appropriate thing to do.’
‘And Flynn does like appropriate.’ She sighed and headed towards the leather shop anyway. ‘Do you remember the hideous tie you bought him that last summer?’
‘He wore it for his first day at work,’ Zeke said, relishing the thought all over again. It had been the most truly horrendous tie he’d been able to find anywhere. Expensive, of course, so that his mother couldn’t object. But hugely inappropriate for the serious workplace with its neon tartan. The perfect graduation gift for the perfect brother. Zeke had known Flynn would wear it just so as not to offend him. And that Flynn would never realise it was a joke gift.
‘He changed it on the train before going into the office,’ Thea told him, thus ruining a perfect memory.
‘Seriously? That’s a shame. I did love thinking of him sitting in meetings with the board wearing that tie,’ Zeke said wistfully.
‘He’s probably still got it somewhere,’ Thea said. ‘He might not be stupid enough to wear it for work, but he’s definitely sentimental enough that he won’t have thrown it away. After all, it was the last thing you gave him before...’
‘Before I left,’ Zeke finished for her. ‘Yeah, I don’t think he was as bothered by that as you think.’ Seemed like nobody had been.
She gave him a small sad smile. ‘Then maybe I do know your brother better than you, after all.’
Did she? She should—she was marrying the guy. But the very fact she’d admitted she wasn’t sure that she did... The contradictions buzzed around Zeke’s brain, and at the heart of them was the disturbing thought that maybe Flynn had cared after all.
And another question. Had Thea?
* * *
The problem, Thea decided, wasn’t that she didn’t know what sort of things Flynn liked. It was just that he knew them better and had, in pretty much every case, provided them for himself. He already had the perfect briefcase, his grandfather’s watch and a reliable pair of cufflinks. Whatever the item, he’d have researched it, chosen the best-quality one he required, and been satisfied with his purchase. Whatever she bought would be used a few times, to show his appreciation, then shoved to the back of a cupboard like that hideous neon tartan joke tie.
This whole trip had been a mistake. She’d wanted to show Zeke that she knew her fiancé, that they were in tune as a couple. Instead all she seemed to be proving was that whatever she brought to the marriage wasn’t really required.
No. This wasn’t about briefcases and watches. She brought a lot more to the table than material goods. She wasn’t her father, just providing the money and then sitting back to watch the tide of success come rolling in. She was part of the company, part of Flynn’s life, and part of their future together.
Which was great as a pep talk, but rubbish at helping her find a wedding present for her husband-to-be.
‘What about this one?’ Zeke held up a tan leather handbag. ‘It’s a man bag!’
‘I’m pretty sure it’s not,’ Thea said. ‘It has flowers decorating the strap.’
‘Flynn’s secure enough in his masculinity to carry it off,’ Zeke argued, slinging the bag over his shoulder and pouting like a male model.
‘I am not buying him the wedding present equivalent of a neon tartan tie, Zeke.’ Thea turned back to the briefcases and heard him sigh behind her.
‘Then what are you going to buy him?’ Zeke picked up a black briefcase and flipped the latch open. ‘Hasn’t he already got one of these?’
‘Yes.’
‘So does he need a new one?’
‘No.’
‘Then can we go for lunch?’
Thea sighed. He did have a point, and she was hungry. She’d missed breakfast, thanks to Ezekiel Senior and his request.
She tensed at the memory. Never mind the perfect wedding gift, she had another job to do today. And lunch would be the perfect time to broach the subject. Preferably after Zeke had enjoyed a glass or two of wine. Or three. Three might be the magic number.
‘Come on, then,’ she said, opening the door and preparing to leave the cool shadows of the shopping arcade behind and step back out into the piazza. She waved a hand in the direction of a familiar-looking dark alleyway. ‘The little trattoria I was talking about is down here somewhere.’
It wasn’t fancy, but Zeke had never been one for the expensive restaurants and big-name places. He’d used to prefer hidden gems and secret spots that were just their own. She was always surprised, even after so long, when she caught a magazine photo of him at some celebrity chef’s opening night at a new restaurant, or on the red carpet with some actress or another. That wasn’t the Zeke she remembered. And now, spending time with him again, she wondered if it was even the Zeke he’d become. Was it just that being seen was the only way he had to let his father know that he was a success now, in his own right?
Maybe she’d ask him. After the wedding. And after she’d persuaded him to sell This Minute to his father.
So probably never, then.
Thea pushed open the heavy painted wood door under a sign that just read ‘Trattoria’ and let Zeke in first. He smiled at the nearest waitress and she found them a table next to the window without hesitation; only a few other tables were occupied. Thea couldn’t help but think this was probably a good thing. If Zeke threw pasta all over her when she tried to talk to him about his father at least there wouldn’t be too many witnesses. Helena would be cross about the dress, though...
‘Can I get you some drinks?’ the waitress asked, her English clearly far better than Thea’s Italian had ever been. She let Zeke order a local beer before she asked for a soft drink. Alcoho
l really wasn’t going to help the conversation they needed to have.
‘So, you’ve been here before?’ Zeke asked, looking around him at the faded pictures on the stone walls and the bare wooden tables.
The small windows had all been thrown open to let in air, but the heat of the day and the lack of breeze meant that not much coolness was moving around, save from the lazy spin of the lone ceiling fan. Thea’s dress had started to stick to her back already, and she longed for that soft drink.
‘I came here with Helena last week,’ she said. ‘Just after we arrived. I can recommend the pappardelle with wild boar sauce.’
‘With Helena? Not Flynn?’ Zeke pressed.
Thea wondered why he cared anyway. He’d left, and had every intention of leaving again, without even the faint hope that he might return this time. What did he care if she married Flynn or not? Besides not letting his brother win, of course.
Maybe that was what this came down to. All Zeke wanted was to prove a point and then he’d move on. In which case she had pretty much no chance of talking him into selling them This Minute.
But she still had to try.
‘No, not with Flynn. He didn’t fly in until a couple of days ago. They needed him in the office.’
‘But they didn’t need you?’
Dammit. Why did Zeke always know exactly what niggled at her? And why did he always have to push at that point?
‘My planning for the wedding kind of is part of my job at the moment.’ Thea toyed with the menu in her hand so she didn’t have to see his reaction to that.
‘Of course,’ Zeke said. ‘The final union of the two biggest families in media. It’s quite the PR stunt.’
‘It’s also my life,’ Thea snapped back.
‘Yeah, but after the last twenty-four hours I still can’t tell which of those is more important to you.’
Thea looked up, searching for a response to that one, and gave an inward sigh of relief when she saw the waitress coming over with their drinks.
‘Are you ready to order?’ she asked, placing the glasses on the table.
Zeke smiled at her—that charming, happy-go-lucky smile he never gave Thea any more. ‘I’ll have the wild boar pappardelle, please. I hear it’s excellent.’
‘The same, please,’ Thea said. But she wasn’t thinking about food. She was thinking about how she’d let her work become her life, and let her life drift away entirely.
* * *
Zeke sipped his beer and watched Thea, lost in thought across the table. He’d thought it would be fun, needling her about how her wedding was actually work. He’d had a run of honeymoon jokes lined up in his head—ones he knew she’d hate. But now...well, the humour had gone.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, even though he wasn’t sure he was, really. He’d only told the truth, after all. Something that happened far too little in their families.
‘You’re sorry?’ Thea asked disbelievingly.
Zeke shrugged. ‘Not really the done thing, is it? Upsetting the bride the day before her wedding.’
‘I’m not upset.’
‘Are you sure? Because you look a little...blotchy.’ The way she always had moments before she started crying.
But Thea shook her head, reaching for her glass with a steady hand. ‘I’m fine. Like you say, you’ve been back less than twenty-four hours. I don’t expect you to understand the relationship and the agreement that Flynn and I have developed and nurtured over the past two years.’
‘Two years? You’ve been with him that long?’
‘Yes. You don’t think marriage is something I’d rush into, do you?’
Actually, he’d assumed that the idea had come up in a board meeting, that their respective fathers had put forward a proposal document to each of them and they’d weighed up the pros and cons before booking the church. But Zeke didn’t think she’d appreciate that analysis.
‘You did last time,’ he said instead. ‘With What’s-his-name.’
‘Cameron,’ she supplied. ‘And how did you know about him?’
‘I wasn’t thinking about him.’ How many guys had she almost married since he’d left? ‘I meant the Canadian.’
‘Scott.’
‘Yeah. I read about him on our Canadian news site. Hockey player, right?’
‘Right.’
‘Whirlwind engagement, I heard.’
‘And he was equally quick with the cheating, as it turned out.’
‘Ah.’ He hadn’t known that. All that had been reported was that the wedding had been called off with hours to spare. So like Thea to protect the guy’s reputation even as he was hurting her. ‘So who was this Cameron guy, then?’
‘A business associate. Turned out he loved my business, and my money, a lot more than he loved me.’
‘Never mix business with pleasure, huh?’ Zeke said, before remembering that that was exactly what she was doing with Flynn. ‘I mean...’
Thea sighed. ‘Don’t worry. I am well aware of the disastrous reputation of my love-life. You can’t say anything I haven’t heard before.’
He hated seeing her like this. So certain she would make a mistake. Was that why she was marrying Flynn? The safest bet in a world full of potential mistakes?
‘Sometimes a woman has to choose the safest road, Zeke. We can’t all afford to hike the harder trails if we want to arrive safely.’ The words were his mother’s, eight years old now, but he could see their truth in Thea’s face. For the first time he wondered who Thea would have become if her own mother had lived. Or if Thomas Morrison had never met Ezekiel Ashton. Would she be happier? Probably, he decided.
‘You weren’t always rubbish at love,’ Zeke said, the words coming out soft and low.
Her gaze flashed up to meet him, as if she was looking for a hidden jibe or more mockery. He tried to keep his expression clear, to show her that all he meant was the words he’d said.
Clearly he failed. ‘Yeah, right. Funny man. Of course you know exactly how early my failure at love started.’
‘I didn’t mean—’ he started, but she cut him off.
‘My first love—you—climbed out of a window to escape from me on my eighteenth birthday, Zeke. I think we can all see where the pattern started.’ Bitterness oozed out of her voice, but all Zeke could hear was her saying, ‘No, Zeke. I can’t.’ Eight years and the sound had never left him.
Hang on. ‘Wait. Are you blaming me for your unlucky love-life?’ Because as far as he was concerned he was the one who should be assigning blame here.
‘No. Yes. Maybe.’ She twisted her napkin in her hands, wrapping it round her fingers then letting it go again.
‘I feel much better for that clarification.’
‘I don’t want to talk about this any more.’
She might not, but after eight years Zeke had some things he wanted to say. And she was bloody well going to listen. ‘And, in the name of accuracy, I wasn’t trying to escape you. In fact you might recall me begging you to come with me.’ Standing on that stupid wobbly trellis, wrecking whatever that purple flower had been, clinging onto the windowsill. She’d looked out at him, all dark hair and big eyes, and broken his heart.
‘I wouldn’t call it begging,’ Thea said, but even she didn’t sound convinced.
‘You said no. You chose to stay. You can’t blame me for that.’ That moment—that one moment—had changed his entire life. Made him the person he was today. She could at least try to remember it right.
‘You chose to leave me. So why can’t I blame you? You’re still blaming me. Isn’t that why you’re here? To make my life miserable because I made the right decision eight years ago and you hate that I was right for once?’
No. That wasn’t it. That wasn’t what he was doing. He was here to draw a line under everything
there had ever been between them, under his bitter resentment of his family that had ruled his life for too long. Zeke was moving on.
But sometimes moving on required looking backwards. Closure—that was what this was.
‘The right decision,’ she’d said. ‘You never once imagined what life might have been like if you’ d left with me that night?’ Because he had driven himself crazy with it even when he’d known it was pointless. Self-destructive, even. Had she been spared that?
Apparently not. ‘Of course I did, Zeke! Endlessly, and a thousand different ways. But it doesn’t change the fact that I was needed at home. That I was right to stay.’
And suddenly Zeke knew what it was he needed to move on. What it would take to get the closure he craved.
So he looked up at her and asked the question.
‘Why?’
CHAPTER SIX
WHY?
As if that wasn’t a question she’d asked herself a million times over the past eight years.
She knew the answer, of course. Helena. She’d needed a big sister right then, more than ever. Thea couldn’t have left her, and she didn’t regret staying for her for one moment.
But if she was honest that wasn’t the only answer. And it wasn’t the one she wanted to give Zeke. It wasn’t her secret to tell, apart from anything else.
‘Because we were too young. Too stupid. Zeke, I was barely eighteen, and you were asking me to leave my whole life behind. My family, my future, my plans and dreams. My place in the world. Everything.’
‘I’d have been your family. Your place. Your future.’
Zeke stared at her, his face open and honest. For the first time since he’d come back Thea thought she might be seeing the boy she’d known behind the man he’d become.
‘You know I’d have moved mountains to give you anything you wanted. To make every dream you had come true.’