“Listen.” I gripped his hand tighter to prevent him from moving away.
“You and my sister is not an image I want in my head.”
“Nothing happened between me and Ivy. I swear. If it did, do you think Braeden would even let me in this house?”
Drew gave me a sidelong glance and then settled back against the cushions, but his hand was still rigid in mine.
“So…” I began, cautious. “The idea of me and Ivy bothers you?”
He made a rude sound. “The idea of you and anybody bothers me.”
Well, that made me happy. Totally fucking giddy.
He didn’t seem quite as gleeful about the announcement, so I decided to maybe not act like I’d just won the lottery.
“Most guys have one-night stands, random hook-ups when they get drunk. If there aren’t women around, they do stupid shit like run across the quad or get into fights.”
“You’re such a frat boy.” Drew teased.
“If anybody else called me that, I’d punch ‘em in the face.”
“Frat boy,” he said again.
I let him get away with it.
Because I loved him. And when it came off his lips, it sounded like a term of endearment.
“Instead of doing that stuff, I’d call Granny. Who the fuck calls their grandma to tell her she’s hot when they’re drunk?”
“I think we should get you some therapy,” he deadpanned.
“So cold,” I said, pretending I was hurt and like I was going to pull my hand back.
In reality, someone would have to use a chainsaw to get my hand out of his.
“Aww, T,” Drew drawled. “I was just kidding.” As he spoke, he pulled my hand back and lifted it to his lips.
Before either of us could think about it, he kissed the back of my hand.
My heart literally tripped. It fell flat and skipped a beat.
That chainsaw?
Not even that would be enough to separate me from him now.
I could tell the act caught him off guard. The way he stilled and pulled his face away like he was in shock.
I didn’t want to act like it was a big deal, even though I was pretty sure my heart graduated from skipping a beat to doing cartwheels inside my chest.
“Those phone calls were a sign.” I continued, calm. “One of the many signs I tried to ignore, the ones whispering in the back of my mind that maybe… No, not maybe. That I am gay.”
“Shouldn’t you be calling your grandpa, then?” Drew asked. He was totally serious. This wasn’t a joke anymore.
I smiled anyway because it was funny. But he didn’t see because he was still looking away. “If it was my grandpa I called, I wouldn’t be able to tell myself the shit I was feeling was wrong. Plus, then I could tell all the guys I was calling some chick I met online to have phone sex. I told them she thought I was Scottish.”
He didn’t say anything, but I knew he was listening.
“It’s not like I was never attracted to women.” I went on. “I was.” Drew stiffened, and I squeezed his hand. “But never like this. Never so much it tore me up inside. I think maybe that’s why I liked Ivy.”
He made a sound, but I hurried on before he could get mad again.
He was a prickly bastard tonight. But that’s okay. This was a heavy conversation.
“She was a safe choice. She didn’t like me, not like that. It was always B for her. I knew it and knew she’d never choose me anyway.”
“That actually makes sense,” he murmured.
“I lied to you.”
His head came around. “About what?”
“That night months ago? The one where I was so drunk I forgot everything?”
He nodded.
“I didn’t forget. I remember.”
“What do you remember, T?” he asked, quiet.
“I remember waking up the next morning and staring at the indent of where you’d been all night beside me and wishing you were still there.”
He sucked in a breath. I knew I’d planned to let him think. Let him make sense of the kiss. But the words wouldn’t stop tumbling out. There just wasn’t room in me for them and all the feelings I had for Drew.
“I thought maybe acting like I forgot would make it easier, and I wouldn’t lose you as a friend.”
“I almost lost you tonight. In that bar.”
“No. That bar just pushed me closer in your direction.”
“I hated seeing you with that guy.” He glanced down at our hands. “All I could think was you were mine.”
“I am yours.”
“I don’t—”
“It’s okay.” I cut him off. “I know you don’t know how you feel, and that’s okay. Just know you won’t lose me. Not tonight. Not ever. Even if…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. “I’ll always be your friend, Drew.”
“You’ve been avoiding me all week.” He accused.
I grimaced. “Cut me some slack. I never said it was going to be easy. It isn’t every day a guy finally admits to himself he’s totally into his best friend.”
He lifted his head and stared out across the darkened room as I watched the light from the TV screen flicker across his features. “I missed you.”
I cleared my throat. “Me, too.”
“I was avoiding you, too.” The words were accompanied by a very meaningful look.
My mouth went dry, and hope (the evil bastard) swelled up inside me. “Because you finally admitted to yourself you’re totally into your best friend?” I asked.
He shook his head no.
My raging hard-on wilted.
“I haven’t admitted it. I wasn’t ready.” His blue eyes lifted to mine. “But I am now.”
Drew
My name is Drew Forrester.
I’m pretty sure I’m in love with my best friend.
Who’s a guy.
Trent
“What are you saying?” I asked. I wanted to be perfectly clear.
“I’m attracted to you, frat boy. In the same way you are to me.”
“You’re gay?”
He smirked. “I’ve been with too many women to call myself gay. So maybe I’m bi. Hell, I don’t know. Putting a label on it won’t make it any easier to understand.”
I nodded, totally getting it. “Or any easier to feel.”
He glanced away and sighed. “I’ve been fighting it, too, for a long time. We’ve always… kinda had this chemistry between us. You know?” He glanced at me for confirmation.
“I think that kiss proved it,” I replied, rueful.
“I totally wanna do it again.” His voice was a half growl.
“Thank Christ,” I swore. Being in a relationship (if that’s what this was) with another man wasn’t going to be easy. It wasn’t something I’d choose for myself.
But love chose for me.
After kissing him, after sitting here with him like this… it became oh so clear to me that the only thing harder than being with Drew would be not being with him.
“That night in my room, when you were drunk… The things you whispered? They affected me, like on a level I never really understood. Or tried to. It scares me so bad, T.”
“I know, man.” I scrubbed my free hand over my face.
“I sound like a damn pussy saying it. But it’s true. I’ve been scared a lot lately.”
I didn’t want that for him. I wanted him to be secure. Happy. Whole.
He turned and looked at me. I searched his blue eyes, hoping to find the words that might make any of this easier. “The only time I wasn’t scared was when you just kissed me.”
Guess I didn’t need any words, because he already had them.
We were incredibly close. Barely inches from each other. His eyes were so sincere, so open in that moment it caused my heart to turn over. I untangled our hands and laid my palm against the side of his face, cupping his cheek.
“I wasn’t either,” I confided.
This time, he kissed me.
My
heart sang like all those Disney movies I always thought were dumb. But shit if it didn’t feel awesome.
My fingertips rubbed against the stubble on his cheek, and he pulled my bottom lip between his. He sucked and licked at it until my fingers crawled around the back of his neck and delved into the short strands at the base of his scalp.
He released my lip and groaned, covering my mouth completely. I opened, welcoming his tongue into me and teasing him with my own. He pressed in closer, kissing me deep. So deep I groaned and clutched at the back of his head like I was afraid he might disappear.
It wasn’t enough.
My feet dropped off the coffee table and onto the floor, bringing my knees up to a ninety-degree angle. He moved with me, knowing exactly what I wanted, because he wanted it, too.
Thank God, he wanted it, too.
Drew climbed over my lap, straddling my legs. His powerful thighs rested on either side of me, and I covered them with my palms to revel in how strong he felt.
The weight of him on me was delicious; I accepted it all. I would accept anything Drew wanted to give me. I longed to dive my hands beneath his shirt and drag my fingers across the muscles of his back.
All the times I looked at him, at the contours of his waist, the length of his spine, and the way his muscles moved beneath his skin… the times I had to pretend not to notice how much he affected me and how badly I wanted to explore his body in ways I shouldn’t want to—I was getting that chance now.
His lips were perfection personified. They were full and warm. They matched up with mine in a way no woman’s ever had. I loved the way he practically attacked my mouth. He wasn’t tentative or girly at all. He was all man, and he kissed with aggression and tenacity only a man would know.
And dear God, the scruff on his jaw… it was my kryptonite. My heroin. The freaking best thing I ever tasted.
Ever.
With a groan, I ripped my mouth free and grabbed his chin with my hand. I wasn’t too gentle when I held his face and tipped his head back so I could scrape my teeth over that scruff and then kiss down his neck.
Drew made a sound and his hips rolled and thrust forward.
My head fell back on the couch, and I shuddered. My teeth sank into my lip, as I fought to keep the moan of torture inside.
I slapped a hand over my eyes, trying to give myself a little privacy to pull my shit together. God, I was fucking embarrassed. I was a grown-ass man acting like a fucking kid who didn’t know how to contain his hormones.
“Trent?” Drew stilled in my lap.
Beneath my hands, I squeezed my eyes shut.
“I… uh.” His voice was awkward. “Sorry, I kinda got carried away.” He started to slide off me.
I made a sound and grabbed his hips, holding him where he was.
“No.” The word came out as a guttural sound. “Don’t move.” Without thought, I thrust my hips up toward him as another shudder rolled through me.
Drew’s eyes widened.
Then the fucker started laughing. “You gonna blow, T?”
“I will punch you right in the face,” I growled.
He grinned, and dear God, his dimple came out to play. “So other people can’t deck me, but you can?”
Was he teasing me? Was the man I loved really sitting in my lap, torturing my dick, and teasing me?
Goddamn. I was a lucky bastard tonight.
“There’s no way in hell I’d have let Max touch you tonight.”
“Don’t say his name,” he intoned.
“You’re possessive,” I observed, feeling my lips tilt up.
“You’re protective,” he replied, giving me the same look.
I took care of what was mine. Period.
Drew might not actually be mine, but my heart didn’t operate on technicalities.
Drew’s hand dropped onto my abs, and I sucked in a breath.
“I need to get up,” I said, palming the sides of his waist, prepared to lift him off.
Amusement sparkled in his eyes.
“Shut up,” I grumbled.
“You been hard all night?” he asked, glancing at the blanket still over my lap.
I was so fucking hard even the blanket wasn’t doing a good job at hiding it. “Pretty much,” I admitted.
His face became a little unsure, and I felt bad. Kissing and emotion was hard enough to deal with, but having my dick literally popping up between us only made things more awkward.
“Up,” I said and started to push him off. “I need the bathroom.”
Drew pressed his weight down. I bit back another groan. “Dude.” I warned.
“You gonna take care of that in the bathroom?” His voice was curious.
“It’s better than being on the verge of shooting in my pants.”
“Can I?”
I froze. “Can you what?” I asked low.
“Can I jerk you off?”
Below the blanket, my cock twitched. I didn’t think I’d ever wanted anything more than I wanted to feel Drew wrap his hand around my throbbing dick.
I studied his face, trying to see past my own hazy desire. Did he really want this, or did he just feel like this was what I wanted? Even though the thought that he would offer this because he knew it was something I wanted made me love him more, I wasn’t that selfish.
I couldn’t tell. I wasn’t sure.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I finally said.
His face darkened. “Why?”
Because if I like it and you don’t, my heart will be shattered.
“Maybe later,” I mumbled and started to get up again.
Drew ripped the blanket off my lap and grabbed my cock through my clothes.
The hissing sound I released filled the entire room.
“You wanted to try a kiss.” He gave it a squeeze. “I want to try this.”
“Drew.” The defeat in my voice was embarrassing.
Victory filled his eyes. His free hand pressed against my shoulder, forcing me back into the cushions of the couch. “I’ve never,” he whispered as he reached for the buttons on my jeans.
I placed my hand over his. “Me either.”
Desire, hot and fierce, filled his eyes. It was a heady look on him. I’d seen Drew in a lot of different ways, but he’d never looked at me like this. Like he wanted me.
I surrendered to his hands, letting both of mine fall limp at my sides. It took him a minute to get my jeans undone because my hard-on made it that much more difficult. When they were finally open, Drew slid back so he was sitting just above my knees. His big hands grasped the waistband of the pants and pulled at the same time I lifted my hips so they could slide down.
My boxer briefs were red, the waistband black, and they looked sorely too tight against the bulging length of my cock.
Drew swallowed thickly, his eyes going right to the front of the boxers. Using one hand, he grabbed the waistband and jerked them down.
My cock sprang free instantly.
“That actually looks painful, frat boy,” he drawled, staring at my throbbing head. “How long’s it been since you had some?”
“Too long,” I ground out. Just him staring at it made me want to come.
“I’m guessing I’m not going to get too long, then.” He glanced up quickly and smiled.
I was beyond words. I couldn’t say a thing.
“Next time,” he whispered, like he was making a promise to himself.
Drew’s hand was large, so when he reached out and took me in his palm, he covered more of my dick than anyone had ever been able to before.
My chest heaved and my eyes drifted closed.
Neither of us spoke as he grasped my cock and pulled it up so it was straight up and down. His hand gentled and caressed the smooth skin stretching over my rod. God, it felt so good. To have his hands on me like this.
Slowly, he jerked me, starting at the base and moving upward. When he got to the head, he circled just below it with his thumb and finger and gave it a sq
ueeze. My body shuddered, and he flicked the pad of his thumb over the most sensitive spot.
“Fuck,” I ground out.
“I like it there, too,” he whispered.
His voice called to me, and I opened my eyes. We stared at each other while he continued to jerk me in slow, rhythmic movements.
His free hand grabbed the base of my rod and held it in place, and I lay there staring into his blue gaze as both his hands worked me.
Beads of moisture wept from my tip, and I knew right away when his hand slid over it, because he paused. “You like this.”
“God, Drew. You have no fucking idea,” I ground out.
His eyes moved down, I felt him looking at the pre-cum coating my tip. I had a moment to wonder if maybe it would make him back away before the pad of his thumb pressed down on the top of my head and smeared it all around, coating the swollen, extremely sensitive skin with silky-soft lubricant.
I whispered some shit that made no sense and thrust my hips up toward him.
Using his hand, he dragged some of that wetness down over my shaft and pumped me again.
“I can’t hold it.” I panted. “I have to come.”
“Let me see,” he replied, dragging his hand up to hit the magic spot.
My cock started pulsing, and I threw my head back and moaned. Hot liquid exploded out of me and plastered the shirt I was wearing. White light exploded behind my eyes, and my entire body released about twenty tons of pressure.
I shuddered and pulsed through the orgasm, and Drew stayed with me through it all. He stroked me even as I shuddered and worked me even after I stopped. I collapsed against the cushions, so spent I was totally boneless.
“Damn,” Drew whispered, and I felt the gentle touch of his fingers over my sack, kneading it gently as it relaxed along with my cock.
I made a sound that could only be described as a purr and half smiled. “That feels good.”
“I wasn’t sure how I’d feel,” he said, cautious.
My lids were heavy, but I forced them open. “And?” I asked.
“I thought it would be weird, you know?”
I nodded. He was still playing with my sack, almost like an afterthought. It was because of that I wasn’t nervous.
#Junkie (GearShark #1) Page 18