Ayden smiled and squeezed my knee.
“Listen, don’t think about it for one more second. You’re going to do what you always do when you step into the ring, and I’ll be there rooting for you every step of the way. We all will. And before you know it, one of us will be sipping cocktails while hanging out on a beautiful beach. Sand between the toes, warmth cascading over our skin, and amazing food morning, noon, and night.”
My stomach growled again and Ayden chuckled. “I’m going as fast as I can. I promise, I’ll feed you soon.”
I nestled into the seat and grinned.
“Can you believe we’ll be married by Thanksgiving?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Hey, did you know we are going to Bermuda during hurricane season?”
“Argh. Why does everyone keep bringing that up?” I rested my head on the seat. “It’s very unlikely that a hurricane will happen during our wedding.”
“It was also very unlikely that you’d get pregnant while on antibiotics.” His smile widened and I couldn’t help but laugh.
A truer statement could not have been said.
Brandy figured out I hadn’t asked Ayden about his estate planning so she took it upon herself to talk to him about it that night after he came in from training with Derek. It was good they were such close siblings. A conversation like that would never happen in my family without wild accusations. Come to find out, Ayden had already been in touch with his attorneys, and things had been updated over the last few weeks.
Hearing the news did nothing to settle my worries. Instead, it made me realize Ayden, too, had doubts and concerns he hadn’t shared with me about the outcome of the fight. I actually wished I hadn’t heard that he’d updated his affairs. Granted, it was the responsible thing to do, but it painted an alternative ending I refused to think about.
And here it was the night before he was about to step into the ring, and I was deliberating whether I even wanted to go to the match. I was almost sick to my stomach with fear and apprehension.
“I promise you this time tomorrow, we’ll be home in front of the fire, watching a movie. Me stepping into the ring will be a thing of the past, and we’ll never have to—” Ayden began.
I shook my head and placed my fingers on his lips. “Enough talk about the fight. I’ve spent too much time over the last week focusing on it. I want us to have a nice, normal night without some epic battle going on in my mind about you fighting that monster.”
We were sitting in the family room, and he’d just shut his laptop down and sat next to me on the chaise. My guess was that he’d run a few more scenarios through Jason’s program while he’d been sitting there glued to his laptop.
“You know, you’re absolutely glowing,” he interrupted my thoughts.
“I think it’s a hot flash. I’m burning up from the fire and hormones,” I confessed. “Not to mention this flannel nightshirt I’ve got on.”
He laughed, shaking his head.
“Sorry. Not very romantic.” I looked around the room. The light was low with only the table lamp beside me turned on so I could pretend to read the book I’d been holding all night. “I’ll have to work on that.”
“You don’t have to be romantic to get me to fantasize about having sex with you.” He grinned. “But let’s get those PJs off. I don’t want you to overheat.”
“Yes, I’m sure that’s what you’re worried about,” I teased.
His fingers gripped the hem, and he gently tugged it over my head and tossed it on the floor. His eyes fell to my chest and he grinned.
“What?” I grabbed a pillow and playfully swatted his head.
“The perks of this whole nine month process are pretty appealing.” He flashed a wicked grin and moistened his lips.
I glanced down at my bra, which was overflowing, and I whistled.
“Guess it’s time to go up a size.”
“Or three,” he murmured, lifting his gaze back to mine. “Lily, I know I promised I wouldn’t bring up the fight, but I need you to know I’d never put myself or our future in jeopardy. I know I’ll pummel him. I’d never do anything to put our dreams at risk. I promise you that. I promise you that more than anything. I see our future together and it’s a happy one.”
I nodded slowly as he touched my cheek softly, and the heat that had been washing through my system turned to chills. A wave of goose bumps ran across my flesh, and I suddenly wished I had my flannel nightshirt back on. His words were comforting, but they didn’t erase the fact that tomorrow he’d be doing exactly what he said he wouldn’t do. He was putting our future, our dreams, in jeopardy, and I couldn’t fathom how he didn’t see that.
I reached for a throw and wrapped it around my shoulders, leaving enough of a glimpse so he didn’t forget about the very future he was talking about.
“Do you still want to wait until our rehearsal to tell everyone?” he asked.
“I think so. It might be kind of fun to see everybody’s reactions at once. And I sent the little favors I made that announce it. If we spill the beans sooner, it would lose something.”
“Good point. It will be pretty special.”
“It will,” I agreed, but the emptiness inside of me was growing. Every second closer to tomorrow made me want to crawl under a rock and not come out until it was all over.
“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” Ayden said quietly.
Enough to not step into the ring? I wondered, but I pushed the thought away as quickly as it came and steadied my eyes on his.
“I love you too.”
“Have I ever told you I fell in love with you the first time Brandy brought you around?” he asked.
“You’ve mentioned it a time or two…” I grinned.
Ayden traced his finger along my leg, and I felt the electricity run between us.
“Well, it’s true. I knew one day I’d be with you. I didn’t know how or when, but I was willing to wait.”
Now was the time. If I was going to beg him to stay home tomorrow, now was the time. Now was the moment to confess that tomorrow scared me to death, and I wanted him to bow out.
Ayden’s hunger-filled gaze locked on mine, and I took in a deep, shaky breath as he moved toward me. His hands slid along my sides, and he pulled me onto his lap in one quick, fluid motion. A quiet wall of hesitancy went up around me before his mouth collided with mine, and I knew I wouldn’t be saying a word.
My arms wrapped around his neck, and my body pressed against his, feeling the need in him demand something from me.
Understanding.
And I gave it to him. I relinquished the panic that had knotted itself up inside as my fingers tangled through his hair. The coolness of his lips excited me as our kisses intensified, hungrily searching for approval and strength to get through the next twenty-four hours.
Being denied the comfort of knowing Ayden was going to come out okay thrust itself into a raw, almost painful, desire to be with him. My kisses deepened as his hands drifted along my skin, fueling my need for him. His lips broke free, but his gaze stayed on mine while he unfastened my bra and drew the straps down my arms. The heat running through his expression made my entire body warm with excitement. He threw the pink lace on the chaise and ran his fingers up my back, cradling the back of my head in his palm as his tongue slowly traced down my throat, sending staggering sensations of want through my body.
He greedily teased and taunted with his tongue as he worked his way around my breasts, never stopping, demanding more of me as my body arched into his. Resting his fingers along my panties without his hands moving in the slightest bit was torturous.
“You’re being cruel,” I whispered, as he trailed his mouth back along my neck. I wiggled my hips deeper into him as I continued to straddle his lap.
“Is there something you want?” Ayden murmured, skimming his fingers across the lace.
“Yes,” I said, my voice almost breathless as he edged his finger along the inside elastic of the lace.
“What do you want, Lily?” I knew he was watching my reaction, waiting for me to plead with him, but I was stronger than that. His fingers flitted across the lace, tormenting me more with every light stroke and playful touch, and I held in a gasp, tightening my thighs around his waist.
“Tell me what it is you want,” he repeated, skating his lips across my chest.
I let out a slight moan and shook my head.
“You’re impossible,” he almost growled, as his hands quickly cupped my butt. He stood up with me, and I attempted to secure my legs around his waist. I slid my hand in between his jeans and waist, and his breath caught. To prove my point, I slowly trailed my fingers back the way they came and grinned.
“Two can play this game,” I whispered. “But should we wait until after the fight?”
“Absolutely not. It’s never been a problem before, baby.”
He spun us around and placed me back on the chaise. This time kneeing my legs open as his fingers edged under my panties. Propping himself up, with one arm and stroking me with the other made my entire body feel as if I were hovering between fantasy and reality.
He fit his mouth over mine and kissed me in a way that told me he wanted to savor every second of now. My body tensed with the realization the only way to retreat from the pain and fear of tomorrow was to give myself fully to Ayden just as he was doing with me. I moaned into his mouth as our kisses slowed, but my blood remained wild with anticipation. His mouth broke away from mine, and he sat up, his eyes scanning my body.
“I love you more every single day,” Ayden murmured.
“I love you more. Period.”
“Impossible.”
My pulse pounded madly as he pushed my legs wider and knelt between them, his fingers unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off. He turned his attention back to me and slid his hands up my legs, bringing a wave of shivers with his touch. Ayden slowly worked my panties off and leaned back over me as our need grew for one another. Fueled by an unknown tomorrow, I felt him push inside of me, and I locked my legs around him as he thrust into me. His fingers stroking the warmth between us as our bodies rocked as one, and my world spun with ecstasy. I opened my eyes to see Ayden’s jaw tense and his teeth grit as the pleasure we shared overcame us both, and the problems of our world slipped away for another day.
The paved parking lot was slick with rainwater from a passing summer shower. I surveyed the lot packed full of cars, and my pulse quickened. By the looks of everything, this was one of the biggest fights I’d been to, and that revelation didn’t help my worries one bit. Ayden, Mason, and Derek had arrived several hours earlier, and I came with Brandy and Aaron. Jason and Gabby were going to meet us.
I climbed out of the car and stretched as I looked at the warehouse where the fight was about to take place. The fights were always held in a vacant building, generally in an industrial part of a city, and this location was no different. A chain-link fence circled the property and rusty “For Rent” signs barely clung to the metal building. Weeds sprouted alongside the fence, and the sidewalk leading to the front of the warehouse was cracked and barely holding together. A pile of old, rusty junk was heaped in the far corner of the land. I’d be thrilled to leave here quickly.
“Should we get going?” Brandy asked, looping her arm through mine. “I know I’d never be forgiven if I didn’t get you inside to see Ayden before the fight.”
I nodded and slowly walked toward the entrance as people trickled inside. I didn’t want to hurry to tell him good luck because that would only bring the event quicker. As we got closer, the chatter became louder and their words clearer. I glanced nervously at Aaron as he held the door open for us. He gave a slight nod as we made our way over to another door where a security guard stood tall. I recognized him and felt slightly more at ease. He’d been at several of Ayden’s fights. The moment we slid into the hallway, I turned around and looked at Aaron.
“Did you notice most of the people coming inside weren’t speaking English?”
“I did,” Aaron confirmed.
“It sounded like Russian.”
“That would make sense considering who he’s fighting,” Aaron laughed.
“Captain Obvious strikes again.” I nodded and climbed up the long flight of stairs, tamping down the fear that was threatening to boil over as I got closer to seeing Ayden.
Ayden’s fights usually had a crowd siding with him or at least evenly divided between the fighters, but if the group in the parking lot and downstairs were any indication, this could be the first fight where the crowd was siding with Ayden’s opponent. The nausea spun through my system when I reached the top of the steps and waited for Brandy and Aaron. I kept my eyes focused on the dingy wall to keep away the dizziness. I couldn’t let Ayden see I was worried. I needed to get my emotions under control before I went inside.
Brandy was looking at her phone and glanced up at me. “Gabby and Jason just parked. They’ll be up in a second.”
My fingers wrapped around the cold metal handle, and I pushed open the door to see Ayden in the far corner of the room. Mason was peering through the window that overlooked the growing crowd below while Derek was giving Ayden some last minute pointers.
“You know, I think after you clobber this guy we’re going to have to get you out of here as quickly as we can,” Mason said, his thumb and forefinger squeezing his chin.
“Why’s that?” Ayden asked, turning his gaze to Mason.
Derek started wrapping Ayden’s hands, and I took that first step into the room, the one that fully committed me to this situation. Ayden turned his attention from his brother, and his eyes connected with mine. He smiled and my heart raced with nervous anticipation. I wanted this fight to be over.
Ayden walked away from Derek with one hand left to wrap and made his way over to me. He had the familiar glint in his eyes he’d get right before a fight, which was blazing determination mixed with fierce agitation. He wanted in the ring as badly as I wanted him out of it.
“You look stunning,” he rumbled so close to my ear only I could hear.
Ayden wrapped his arms around me, and I nestled my head against his chest, feeling the strength of his hold on me. How I prayed nothing would happen to him. I forced the thought away and whispered to Ayden.
“Stretch pants are always known to be sexy.” I’d also put on one of his sweatshirts that fit more like a dress on me, but it was cold outside, and the sweatshirt had proven to be good luck at his other fights. “I figured I needed lots of room when we go out to eat later to celebrate your victory.”
He nodded and released his arms from our hug, and I suddenly felt extremely alone in a room full of my best friends. I glanced around the space and saw the worried expressions on Gabby and Brandy, while I forced down the lump that was about to evolve into a full meltdown of tears and anger. Jason and Aaron were doing their best at keeping the conversation rolling over by the door so that Ayden wouldn’t see their expressions, but I was certain Ayden felt something different in the air today. He knew he shouldn’t be getting in the ring.
“Hey, we’ve only got about ten minutes,” Derek called. “Let me get your other hand wrapped.”
Ayden brushed a soft kiss along my lips, and I kept my eyes closed until he turned and walked toward Derek. If he’d looked in my eyes, he’d have seen the fear running rampant, and I couldn’t do that to him.
Ayden strode toward Derek and stood directly in front of him, glancing down toward the ring, his expression hardened. I wondered what he saw, but instead I focused on the physical features of the man in front of me. His bare, broad shoulders exposed the sleekest of muscles as he held out his hand to be wrapped, and I continued to analyze Ayden as a machine, which was what he had turned himself into. His strong shoulders angled into his muscular back. Even the smallest of muscles were built into a powerful device. Ayden’s slender waist was corded with strength along his sides, and his lean, hard abdomen provided the shield from his opponents’ fists. He had
constructed a finely-tuned instrument that was built for throwing punches and resisting impact from others’ power. He was a modern day warrior. The logical side of my brain understood that fully, but my heart whispered another story.
Brandy’s hand softly rubbed my back, and I jumped in place, startling us both.
“I know the feeling,” Brandy whispered, and I rested my head on her shoulder. As his sister, she probably did understand more than most—the teetering between nightmare and reality that wouldn’t end until he stepped out of the ring.
Derek tossed the tape in his bag and nodded. “We’re golden.”
Ayden flashed a look at Mason, and I knew we were getting painfully close to the event. I lifted my head off of Brandy and let out a quiet sigh. Prior to finding out about Ayden’s opponent, I was purely excited that this fight was possibly going to be his last. I actually dreamed about how we’d all be here, cheering him on. He’d win and then take a bow, and we’d all be off to a celebration dinner.
Now I tried to focus on him surviving, and I cursed myself for allowing my thoughts to venture there.
Derek smeared some Vaseline around Ayden’s mouth and cheeks, and I walked over to the window and peered down into the crowd. Besides the obvious, there was something different in the air. The electricity from the crowd wasn’t running in the right direction, and the realization scared me to death. I wondered if that was what Ayden noticed. I watched as people waved more cash in the air as they placed their final bets, and my heart plummeted. There was no way out.
I had to keep it together. I couldn’t let Ayden see the fear in me, not even the slightest tremor.
Behind me, Jason and Aaron were giving Ayden some last minute advice, which had them all laughing, and I heard Brandy tell her brother she loved him, giving him a big hug.
“We’ll meet you outside the door,” Derek instructed, as he gathered the group and led them out of the room to give Ayden some privacy.
I didn’t need to turn around to know Ayden was directly behind me. I was frozen in place and time. He slid his arms around my waist, resting them on my belly, and he nuzzled his chin into the crook of my neck, the whiskers tickling me as he hugged me tightly.
Beyond Promise Page 5