by Ford, Mia
“Good, well I just wanted to go through some paper work with you if you have the time?” She pulls some pages out. “That’s what I brought you here for today. Nothing too taxing, just some bits and pieces…”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll do whatever you need me to. But I don’t want to stay for too long because I’m going to see my father. I haven’t had much to say to him until now, I’ve held on to a lot of anger. It’s time to let it go.”
Officer Turner gives me a smile. “Yes, I think that would be a good idea. He cares about you a lot.”
I lean back in my chair and think about before Bryan, back when Mom was still alive, back to when life was much happier. I know we can’t ever go back to any time period that has come and gone, the chance for that is dead, but we can move forward and get something new. We can start from scratch, if I let us.
“Okay, well since you have such a busy afternoon then we should get on with it. I don’t want to hold you up.”
* * *
“Are you sure you’re okay with Peter for a little while longer?” I ask Jayden anxiously into the phone. “I just want to talk to Dad now while it’s in my mind, you know? I don’t want to talk myself out of it again.”
“We’re fine. He’s having a great time playing football with Tommy at the moment. I did try to join in for a while but I got too tired too quickly. And Pippa will be back from work soon anyway, so it’s all fine.”
I nod slowly and accept this. I honestly don’t know what I would do without all of these amazing people in my life. They’ve been incredible, a real little family around me. Now, I want to bring my dad back into this.
“Thank you again, and I’ll give you a call once I’m done here to let you know I’m on the way back.”
“I look forward to it already. Good luck, Savannah, I hope that it all goes well.”
I hang up the phone and stare up at the door with nerves darting through my body. I haven’t been to this house feeling calm in a very long time. Hopefully, this will be the day to change that.
Just do this, I give myself a little pep talk as I stand in front of the door. It’s going to be fine.
I suck in a couple of deep breaths and I raise my shaking fist. It takes a couple of moments, but soon I bang on the door with my heart hammering against my sternum as I do.
“Oh, my goodness.” My dad gasps as he opens the door. “Savannah, you’re here.”
“I am.” I nod slowly. “I’m here to talk to you. Sorry it’s taken me so long.”
“No, you don’t have to apologize. I understand why it’s taken a while. I’m surprised you’re here now.” He steps back and indicates for me to come inside. “Come on, I’ll put the kettle on.”
“Yeah okay.”
This time as I walk through the house, I look at every picture on the way past. There’s me and Mom, me and Dad, Mom and Dad, and sometimes all three of us. We really were the perfect family before everything fell apart. Mom dying really changed everything for the worst, for all of us. I’m sure she would be absolutely gutted to know this. I feel like we owe it to her to make something of this. To really have a try.
“Oh, look, Dad. Remember this. The day at the shore? A few months before Mom died?”
He gives me a sad smile. “Yes, I remember it well. That was a wonderful vacation, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, it was.” I run my finger down Mom’s image on the picture. “A real lot of fun.”
Dad sighs and brings the kettle to life. “I’m really sorry that I messed everything up. I know that I did so much wrong and I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t ever get past it.”
“I want to get past it, Dad, I really do. I don’t want to be mad forever. It was just hard for me to see past what had happened to Peter. With everyone telling me that he was dead it was so hard for me.”
“I’m sorry. If I was totally sure that Bryan hadn’t killed him I would have told you, but he had me on tenterhooks and I honestly wasn’t sure what way it would go. If he died, I thought it would be easier for you to believe that it had been a car accident rather than Bryan. Also, I was scared that he’d kill you too.”
I nod and accept this. I might not necessarily agree with what he’s done and the choices he made, but he did what he thought was best. “The only way we can get past that is to know that we’ll always be honest now.”
“Oh, of course. I would never make the same mistake again.”
“Good. And I think I might have to hear the whole story. From start to finish. I need to hear everything that Bryan told me from your point of view so I can work out the truth, okay? And I don’t want you to sugarcoat it at all. Whatever it is, I can handle it. I should have proven that to you now.”
“Yes. You’ve proven to me that you’re stronger than I ever gave you credit for.” His head hangs low, I can see him struggling with this. “I’m sorry that I didn’t put more trust in you before.”
He makes us both a hot drink and he sits them down in front of us. I take mine and have a big swig, drinking the coffee down rapidly. It burns the back of my throat, but I don’t mind. I need that stark wake-up call. This is going to be a long afternoon where I finally unravel the last bits of the puzzle. Then soon, it will be over.
“Okay, Dad, I’m ready to hear it now. I would rather learn it all now than in the court-room.”
“Oh yeah, of course. I wouldn’t want you to find out that way either. Have you got the time now?”
“Peter is with the others. I have time. And maybe I can even give them a call to bring him here.”
“Well, let’s see how this goes first.”
My dad makes a little bit of a joke about it, which does make it oddly easier. My face bursts into a smile and nods along with him. “Yes, you’re right. Let’s see how this goes first. Then we’ll move forwards.”
At last… that’s what I’m aiming for. It’ll take a while for me to get my future without Bryan but it’s in the distance now, slowly coming closer to me every single day. I can’t wait until I can finally grab hold of it and have it as my own. I need it now, and I want it to include the man sitting right in front of me.
32
Jayden
“So, how did it go?” Tommy asks me with nerves lacing his tone. “What did they say to you?”
He’s been more freaked out about this meeting than me, which I actually understand. My future doesn’t just affect me, it bothers him too. He’s my best friend in the forces, we’ve lived together, we’ve been through so much. Unfortunately, I don’t think he’s much going to like the news that I have to give him.
“They have signed me off, because of my injuries. I’ll be given a desk job.”
His head falls into his hands, distress floods from him. “Oh my God, so everything is going to change.”
“It doesn’t have to be really different, Tommy, it might only be a temporary thing…”
“No, we both know that isn’t true, don’t we? You don’t want to go anywhere because you want to be here with Savannah. I know it, I’ve known it would go this way for ages now.”
“But I’m still going to be living in the barracks. At least for the time being. I’m not leaving yet.”
“You aren’t?” He finally drags up his eyes to meet mine. “You’re sticking around for a while?”
“Yes, of course I am. I don’t want to throw my whole life away instantly.”
I kinda do, actually, I would love to throw everything head first into me and Savannah, but everything has been so stressed and rushed between us. With Bryan and the loss of Peter hanging over our heads, it’s forced things to move at a million miles an hour. What I need to do now is slow things down so we can date like normal people. I think the both of us need that space to get back to real life, and it’s better for Peter too. The last thing that poor boy needs is for his whole life to turn upside down again. It’s bad enough that his father is now in jail which he probably doesn’t totally understand. We need to be sensible and smart.
“Oh wow, wel
l I’m shocked.” He runs his eyes up and down me. “But you’ll be on a desk job, huh? I never would have thought it. You stuck behind a desk filing paper work all the time.”
“No, if I’m honest I never would have thought about it either, but I can’t change what’s happened.”
“I’m sure knowing you, that you wouldn’t change it anyway, would you?”
“No, I wouldn’t.” I shake my head vigorously. “I would do it again to save Savannah.”
“Alright, okay.” He rolls his eyes in an over the top fashion. “I know that I said I was okay with the whole love thing now, but that doesn’t mean I want to hear all about it. You two are sickening.”
“Sorry, I just can’t help it. I think I’m always going to be soppy over Savannah. She’s the love of my life.”
“Urgh, well take her out on a date or something.” Tommy screws up his nose. “Tell her, not me.”
“Hmm.” I grab out my cell phone and stare at the screen. “That’s not a bad idea actually.”
“What’s that? Taking her out on a date? I agree, I can’t believe you haven’t done that yet.”
“No, I know, me neither. It’s just all been a bit wild and I haven’t had a chance to think about it.”
Jayden: Hey, Savannah, do you have any plans tonight? Xx
Savannah: I was actually just about to take Peter over to my dad’s house. He’s sleeping over there for the first time. I’m pretty nervous actually, but they are both very excited.
I smile brightly, this is all working out too well. She’s already got the night off which is amazing.
Jayden: They will be fine, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. They’ve been spending a lot of time together over the past few weeks anyway. It will be fine. I can keep you distracted… x
Savannah: Oh yeah? What did you have in mind? Xxx
Jayden: I want to take you out for a date. Would you be up for it? xx
Savannah: A date? Are you serious? That sounds amazing, of course I’m up for it. What was your plan? Xxx
Jayden: Ten years ago, I thought I would take you to the Italian restaurant by the college. I know it isn’t the best plan in the world and if you think I should come up with something better, let me know, but that could be a good way to pick up where we left off all that time ago. X
I bite down nervously on the nail of my thumb while I wait for her to reply. Tommy gives me an odd look but says nothing. It looks to me like he’s still coming to terms with the good news that he isn’t going to lose me immediately. Of course, he’s never going to totally lose me as a friend anyway, no matter where our lives take us. You don’t know what we’ve been through just to give up on the friendship, but he’ll soon see that.
Savannah: I love it. Why don’t you pick me up at 7 and we’ll go then? Xxx
Jayden: Sounds perfect. I’ll see you then. xxx
“All is good with the date then?” I nod at Tommy. “Good, then I think it’s time we get you something decent to wear. You can’t go on your first date with the woman that you’re going to marry looking like a bag of crap.”
“I would argue with you,” I smirk back. “But I want your help so I’m going to let that insult wash over me.”
“Yeah, I agree. That’s the best course of action. Let’s get shopping now then you can tell me what your plan for the date is and I can tell you every way in which you can make it better.”
“Okay, Tommy. I’m going to put my future happiness in your hands. Don’t screw it up for me.”
* * *
As I see Savannah standing outside of her home in the most beautiful red dress that I’ve ever seen, I’m glad I took Tommy’s advice when it came to the gift. I would feel pretty dumb turning up now without something to offer her. The bracelet might be a bit too much, but I’m sure that she’ll like it.
With her hair hanging down and her eyes sparkling with glee, she’s sweet and stunning, the rest of the stress of hers rolling off her shoulders at last. It’s good to see her without strain, it’d been a long time. It’s even more obvious now that she was a shell of her former self before. It’s wonderful to have her back.
“Hey,” Savannah looks so happy as she sees me. “You look good. Nice suit.”
“I look good? My God, have you seen yourself? You look amazing! Wow, absolutely incredible.”
I gasp as I drink her in. She really does look stunning. I don’t know if it’s just the knowledge that this is our first date doing it, or perhaps it’s because she looks more like the girl I used to know, either way she has my heart racing at a million miles, in my chest. I feel more in love with her than I’ve ever been before.
“I brought you something.” I hand her the box. “I hope you like it, sorry if it’s a bit much.”
“Oh wow.” She tears it open rapidly, the thrill evident as she paws at it, trying to reveal what’s inside. I hope it’s enough, I want her to like it. “What did you do this for? It’s amazing! I love it so much.”
“I just wanted to give you something nice. You deserve it after everything you’ve been through.”
She hands me the bracelet and waits patiently while I fix it to her. Putting it around her wrist makes my pulse speed up, I can feel myself tumbling deeper into love with her. I just want to hold her forever, to cling to her, to keep her as my own… Tommy is right, she’s the woman that I’m going to marry.
“Oh, I love this so much. This is the best thing ever. It’s going to be the best night ever.”
“We should get going actually. I haven’t had to make reservations or anything, I was only a student when I made these plans so it isn’t the place that’s so posh for that, but we should get going anyway.”
“Sure. That sounds awesome. Let’s get going. I’ve been looking forward to it all day.”
She gets into the passenger’s seat of my car and smiles at me. That smile lights up my whole car, my whole life, it lights up everything. I nearly fall apart at the mere image of her. But I don’t. Instead, I put the car into gear and I drive along to where we need to go. The anticipation and excitement builds the nearer we get.
“By the way, I’ve been assigned a desk job for the time being, because of all my injuries.”
“Oh, my goodness, have you?” Guilt flashes in her eyes. “Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s my fault.”
“No, I wasn’t telling you because it’s a bad thing.” I chuckle loudly. “I’m telling you because I’m going to be sticking around for the time being. So, you know, if you wanted to go on more dates…”
“Oh right.” Recognition finally crosses her. “So, you want to keep on doing this.”
“Of course I do, Savannah. I want to keep dating you forever. If that’s okay with you.”
She rolls her head back on the chair and smirks at me. “I heard you cleared it with my dad actually.”
“Well, it wasn’t so much me asking as it was him telling me that it’s okay if that’s what we want.”
“He’s really changed, hasn’t he? For the better, I mean. It’s all good now. I’m so happy. It was hard for a long while, but it’s all worth it now. And I know we still have stuff to face, but I feel good about it.”
“Yeah, me too. I do a lot, I think it’s going to be really great, don’t you?”
We pull up outside the restaurant and I take her hand while we walk inside. In my mind, I slide back ten years, I go back to the person I once was too, and it feels incredible. I love that we’ve finally made it back to one another. We might be twenty eight and twenty nine rather than eighteen and nineteen, but we’re here.
Fate must have had a hand in this, that’s the only thing I can think of. We are meant to be.
“This is nice.” Savannah nods appreciatively. “I like it. This would have blown me away.”
We take a seat at a small intimidate table with a candle flickering between us. In the light, she’s stunning, and I’m very aware that she’s finally mine. Not letting go of my love for her was the right thing to do. For a while,
it didn’t seem that way, but now that it’s all come out the way I wanted it to, I feel good about it.
“I love you, you know?” I tell her while I rub my thumb along her hand. “I’m glad this is finally happening.”
“I love you too, Jayden, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know what I would do without you. I don’t know what I did without you for all that time.”
“Well, I wouldn’t worry. You won’t ever have to do it again. I’m not going anywhere.”
The waiter comes over to our table and I feel myself shudder under the power of how deeply I feel. I suppose it’s better that we’re stopped for now while we’re in public. We have all the time in the world to share our love. It’s going to be epic.
33
Savannah
We stagger through the front door to my home, giggling wildly as if we’re wasted. Truth be told, we haven’t drunk a damn thing all night long. We’re just high and excitable on life. Flying on the wonderful giddying emotions that we’ve been through on our very first official date. Who would have ever thought that.
“Thank you for taking me out tonight,” I gasp out once we reach my kitchen. “That was so much fun.”
“It was, wasn’t it? Aside from when you dropped half of your pizza on the floor.”
I toss my head back and laugh loudly. “I didn’t do that on purpose, you know! It was an accident.”
“Yeah, I know your theory. It was the waiter’s fault for giving it to you on such a small plate.”
“It was his fault and you know it. That plate was too tiny for words. Plus, the knife was ridiculous…”
“Maybe it’s a good job I didn’t take you out ten years ago. Those table manners.”
“Oh, shut up you.” I pinch his side playfully. “You loved me ten years ago. No amount of bad table manners would have put you off and you know it.” I smile coyly. “And it hasn’t now either.”