He gave a thoughtful hum that sounded like he was trying too hard to be noncommittal. “Have you been contemplating that for a while?”
“I’ve thought of it off and on, but seeing Jace’s tats, knowing you designed them, showed me what I’ve been missing. Now I’ve gone from a passing curiosity to giving it serious consideration.”
“In that case, we might be able to work something out.” He sounded pleased, which really wasn’t much of a surprise. I’d worked around enough artists to know they all liked their genius stroked now and then.
It seemed as good a time as any to begin feeling him out for the kind of play he wanted to indulge.
“So tell me—” I glanced around the seating area and pitched my voice low, turning away from the people gathered there. “Our experience aside, when you usually hook up, do you swallow?”
“No. Never.”
“I thought not. You get a facial, don’t you? You make them leave their spunk all over your face so you can feel like you’ve been marked.”
“Oh Christ.” I heard a rustle, like he was shifting, squirming. “Yes.”
“I know the papers only tell so much. You only have my word that I don’t usually bareback. And I only have your word that you’re careful as well.”
“I trusted you enough to let you hold a knife to my face. I think accepting your word on the subject of rubbers is at least a step down from that.”
“True, but here’s the thing: I want to do it again. Fill you up. Leave my load in you and on you. Make sure you’re dripping with reminders of who had you. Every time.”
I was going to wind up in the john, jacking off, if I wasn’t careful.
“I, um . . .” He sighed. “I’m not sure how to answer that.”
“Answer it the same way you answered me that afternoon we were texting about what you wanted. If we’re going to do this, you need to know you’re safe with me. That you don’t have to worry about being safe or what risks to take, because I’m looking out for you. That’s where the freedom is.” I paused to let that sink in. “So answer me the way you would if you didn’t have to be afraid.”
“Then I want that too.”
I closed my eyes and released a long, slow breath. That was what I’d been hoping for, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if he’d gone the other way.
“If we see each other again, if we make a habit of it, will you accept my word that I won’t do anything to put you at risk? I’m willing to accept yours, trust being the essential element it is, if we’re going to continue to do some of the things we’ve done.”
“Yeah. I’ll take your word.” His voice sounded unsteady. “You’ll use protection with anyone but me?”
“There won’t be anyone but you.”
Geoff’s breath caught. “Come again?”
“Relax. I’m not saying I want to start playing house,” I hastened to assure him. “But exclusivity is a thing with me. I don’t share, and I don’t expect whoever I’m with to share me. It might only be for a week, or however long it goes on, but when I’m with someone, that’s the way I work. Now, if this is a problem, let me know. We can just leave it at we had a good time while you were here on vacation, and maybe someday we’ll hook up again. But if we’re thinking of playing together regularly—which it seems like we are—or at least I am, that’s my expectation, and it swings both ways.”
“I see.” Had I thrown him? Maybe. Hell, probably. Most guys our age acted like “monogamy” was a dirty word. But Geoff didn’t strike me as a scene queen. More the type to hook up anonymously for convenience when the itch got too strong to ignore. If we were playing together, though, I intended to see he was well-scratched enough that it wouldn’t be an issue.
But my proposal took us out of the realm of hookup and into an undefined something else. It was a lot to fling at him on the fly like this.
“What are the boundaries?” he asked rather than giving me the promise I was seeking. “It really goes both ways? You weren’t cruising the woods behind the Dunes that night to catalog the nocturnal wildlife.”
“It absolutely goes both ways. You’ll recall I offered exclusivity on my part first and foremost.”
“I, um, I can handle that.”
“Good.” I dropped my voice again. “I don’t just want to fuck you. I want to play with you. I want to make you scream again. With pain and with fear. I want to take you right to the edge of what you can handle.”
The sharp catch of his breath was audible even in the noisy airport.
“Jesus,” he moaned, his voice full of yearning. “And what do you think that might entail?”
“We’ll figure it out as we go. Slowly. We need to have some long, serious talks about boundaries and your physical—” I knew the word “limitations” would go over like a pregnant pole-vaulter “—considerations. We’ll draw up a contract, make sure everything we expect and require is in writing, to protect us both.”
“Okay,” he said slowly, pausing as though to take that all in. “Why make barebacking the issue? We could do all that with a condom.”
“Because biting and bruising are something we’ll have to approach with caution, but I’m dying to leave my mark on you. So that’s how I’ll mark you. And in case you’re wondering, that’s not something I’ve ever asked for or offered to anyone else, even in committed relationships.”
“All right.” His long, slow breath gusted, scratching against the speaker of the phone. “Yes. To all of it.”
“Good.” I released my own pent-up breath. Over the PA, the airline clerk announced that my flight would begin boarding soon. Suddenly the idea of being this close to him and moving on was unacceptable. “We’ll have to discuss this in more detail soon. I took a few risks with you some people would really frown upon. Frankly, things could have gone very, very badly if you’d had a severe phobia of knives. Or fire.”
“Oh. I never even thought of that.” Of course he hadn’t. He’d been expecting beatings and other things that might be an unacceptable risk with his hemophilia. He had a bit of tunnel vision there, as if he couldn’t perceive risks that didn’t relate to his condition.
“For now, though, I really would like to see you again.”
Geoff chuckled. “You mentioned that.”
“Did I mention I sent those test results before I got on a plane, and now I’m sitting at O’Hare on layover, waiting for a flight back to Grand Rapids?”
Silence. Followed by a slow, careful exhalation. “How’d you end up there?”
I smiled. “Pretty much anything going into Grand Rapids stops at Chicago or Detroit first. But if there’s a reason to stay in Chicago, I don’t have to make my connection tonight.”
Another weighty silence, and then he swallowed audibly. “Yeah. There’s a reason.”
“I thought there might be, seeing how you gave me your address. Jace won’t mind if I show up on your doorstep?”
“No. He won’t mind.”
“I’ll catch a cab. Be there within an hour. Get yourself ready for me. You know what I expect.”
I hung up before he had a chance to do more than acknowledge his instruction. I wanted to see how well he remembered the drill—clean inside and out, stretched, and lubed.
I wasted no time getting out of the airport. What would take Geoff the most time was infusing, and I was hoping to get there before he was done. In Michigan, he’d always managed to do it while I was in meetings or on calls, but if we were going to play regularly, that was a process I had to be intimately familiar with. More importantly, it was necessary for him to get over his insistence on keeping me out of it. No part of the process of ensuring his well-being was going to be off-limits to me. I wouldn’t allow it.
Unfortunately, I got there just as he was cleaning up, which was irritating, especially coupled with the obvious relief on his face that suggested he was glad I hadn’t arrived sooner. I filed it away as number one on the list of top-priority negotiation points we needed to deal with.
> Then lust took over, and all that got shuffled to the back of my mind.
We barely exchanged greetings before we were stumbling toward his bedroom, trying not to trip over our half-shed clothing. We didn’t bother to turn on the lights. As impromptu as this was, I wasn’t going to set up any sort of scene, but it was glorious that he was hungry enough for me that caution wasn’t even a word in our vocabulary. He was freshly infused, which he’d explained meant he clotted as well as a non-hemophiliac for a day or so. I didn’t need to be all that careful. I could push him down on the bed and pin him there roughly. He offered some resistance, fighting against my weight, and I lifted my head to look at him in the darkness.
“Is all this squirming you’re doing a sign that I should let up, or does it mean ‘hold me down harder’?”
His eyes glittered up at me, catching the light filtering through the blinds. He licked his lips and rasped, “Harder. Make me feel like I can’t get away.”
“That’s what I thought,” I growled, and tightened my grip on his wrists. I pushed my tongue into his mouth and tongue-fucked it ruthlessly, grinding my cock against his hip.
“That’s it. Fight me,” I snarled against his mouth. I swallowed his gasps, not giving an inch as he tried to wriggle away again. Despite his superior height, I outweighed him by a good sixty pounds, and he didn’t really want to be free. He just wanted to feel more held.
And to be honest, the tussle suited my mood, even if it was rougher than I’d planned to be before we had a chance to negotiate. I was still raw from running into Kyle and having to lay to rest all the bullshit he’d put me through.
I wedged my hips between Geoff’s thighs, hooked his legs up over my shoulders, and drove into him, grateful he was already prepped, as I’d told him to be. There wasn’t quite enough lube, and the struggling had made him tense. The rough friction guaranteed he’d be sore in the morning.
But Geoff wasn’t objecting, so I didn’t care. I wanted him to ache, wanted him to feel the burn of tight muscles resisting and finally giving way simply because I left him no other alternative. They spasmed and clenched around my dick as my hips butted up against his ass. He rolled his head in a state of confused near-delirium, which fed the raw thing inside me.
He pushed at my shoulders weakly, until I pinned them beside his head again. I reined myself in enough to pause, though.
“All right?” I gritted, my breath slashing in and out between clenched teeth. I scanned his features, which were barely discernible in the darkened room.
He nodded, wetting his lips. “Yeah.” There was more than a little whimper riding the edge of his voice, and I shuddered above him as he relaxed by slow increments. It was the last chance I gave him to tell me to take it easy. Once I began to move, I made sure he didn’t have the breath to do anything more than groan.
“Christ!” I panted in his ear, my hips pistoning, his moans rising and falling with each shove of my cock past his prostate. And through it all, his hands remained pinned beside his head. All he could do was use the leverage of his calves on my shoulders to push against my thrusts and help drive me deeper.
“Thought about . . . fucking you . . . for days,” I rasped, harsh explosions of breath punctuating every few words. “Want you. Wanna hurt you. Wanna make you scream.”
“Yes. God, please, yes.” He begged beautifully, without shame, all that prickly pride evaporated in the delirium of his passion.
Since I’d departed Saugatuck, all I’d wanted was more of him, more of what we’d just started to scratch the surface of, more of all that I’d sworn off before I left New York. It was reckless and stupid to go there when we still had so much to figure out, but at that moment I didn’t care. I wanted to handle him with all the roughness he was pleading for.
Releasing one of his wrists, I grabbed his jaw, thumb and fingers pressing on the hinge. “Open.”
He didn’t have much of a choice with my fingers digging in. His mouth dropped open, and I crashed down on it, my weight folding him in half as I forced my tongue deep inside.
I ended the kiss as abruptly as I’d begun it, rearing back and ramming into him hard enough to make him shout. “Someday soon when I fuck you, it’s gonna be your throat I drive my cock into. Gonna fuck your face until you can’t breathe.”
“Yes!” He nodded avidly each time my hips collided with his ass. His dick was tight and rigid between us, dripping pre-cum on his stomach with every thrust, like he could have come from fucking and words alone. All it would take was a stroke, I was sure. He reached for himself, but I batted his hand away.
“You wanna come?” I hissed in his face. “That what you want?”
“Yes, please. Oh Christ, please . . .”
“I’m not done with you yet.” I glared down at him fiercely. “I’m not gonna stop just because you come. Don’t give a shit if you like it or not.”
“Please.” The look Geoff gave me was desperate, beyond caring about anything other than easing the pressure building in his nuts. “Please. Need to . . . Need it.”
“Then do it.” I seized his cock and jacked him with quick, rough strokes, my hand twisting around the swollen head, wrenching a scream from him. His face contorted, his entire body tensing as if he was having difficulty coming, as if he was so far gone that he couldn’t. And then he pulsed and began to spurt. His body clenched with each surge, but my weight kept him pinned beneath me, kept him open and at my mercy.
I thrust my fingers into his mouth, dripping with his own spunk, force-feeding it to him so roughly he nearly gagged. Then I jerked out of him and flipped him over as though he weighed nothing. I hauled his hips up with one hand while I pushed his face into the pillows with the other. They muffled his yell when I rammed into his ass again.
He went wild. He tried to buck me off, to scramble away, but I held him down and used him despite his struggles.
“I warned you,” I ground out. “Now you take it. Take it for me. Take it until I’m done with you.”
He took it. Not without resistance, but he endured until his shoulders relaxed. When he turned his head, I could see a Zen-like expression of contentment, his mind visibly disconnected from his body’s ordeal. It was beautiful, that sublime ecstasy, and it made my nuts tighten and draw up, heat and electricity flaring at my tailbone and working its way up my spine as I surged past the point of no return.
Twitching and shuddering, I collapsed against his back. A secret thrill shook me, knowing I’d bred him, left my mark with the slippery seed I’d pumped into him.
Geoff grumbled when I finally pulled out and flopped over to lie panting next to him. Despite my exhaustion, I smiled to hear it. Beside me, he stretched each limb in a way that felt furtive, like he didn’t want me to know he was taking inventory of his physical state.
That wasn’t going to fly with me.
“Tell me,” I growled, running a hand down his torso as he rolled onto his back and lifted his legs.
He sighed. “Just checking for an iliopsoas bleed. That’s the biggest concern with anything that impacts the pelvis. Fucking, spanking, et cetera. They can be bad news and cause nerve damage. Thing is, most information about hemophilia and sex assumes the guy is straight, and so there’s information about how thrusting can cause bleeds. Not much about bottoming.”
“There’s not even information for women?” I asked, thinking back over my research.
Geoff smiled. “My sister loves to tease me about how that’s one of the benefits of having redundant X chromosomes. Get a bum one, the other takes up the slack. She says it evens up the cosmic imbalance ever so slightly, that genetic disorders are one of the few areas in which guys get the short end of the evolutionary stick.” He shrugged. “But seriously, most of the information about women with bleeding or clotting disorders and sex deals with periods and childbirth.”
“Ah. Not so helpful then.”
He snorted. “Not really. Anyway, one of the causes of a psoas bleed is getting hit on the ass, so . . .�
�
I nodded slowly. This was my chance to show him he could be honest with me about his physical condition and it wasn’t going to scare me or put me off. I imagined that would be a lesson we’d have to go over a lot before it finally sank in.
“Okay. You’re the one who knows your body best. So tell me honestly: is it better if I don’t fuck you like that again, or is it an acceptable risk?”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a wry smile. “You think anyone would advise straight bleeders not to fuck their wives because there’s a risk? Yeah, you were slamming against my ass a bit. I’ll do what they advise other guys to do—keep an eye on things, treat it aggressively if there is an issue. But I don’t think there’s any reason to say we can’t do that at this point.”
“Good,” I rumbled, rolling toward him to scrape my teeth down his throat without biting. “Because that felt good.”
“Yeah, it did.” He hummed. “That’s what I’ve always wanted fucking to be. What I’ve always held back from. Or what guys who knew shied away from.”
“I won’t,” I promised him. “Not unless we’ve assessed the risk together and decide not to go there. If that happens, we’ll find alternatives that still give you what you need, okay?”
“Okay.” His smile was shaky, his eyes a little too glossy in the sketchy half-light. But he sank into my kiss, his body relaxing by inches until he finally tucked his face into the crook of my neck and sighed.
Geoff
Silence descended, and I couldn’t decide if that was awkward or not. Despite the rigorous fuck, neither of us was falling asleep. But then I wasn’t in any hurry to make conversation that might lead to uncomfortable stuff, either, and I was cozy there tucked against him.
“So, what emergency took you to New York?” I finally ventured.
Robin’s fingers, which had been brushing my shoulder, stilled long enough to let me know that this was another New York–related subject he was reluctant to get into.
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