by K. J. Dahlen
She said she hated me ever since then. She thought Brett would take her away with him but she’d been wrong about him. She stayed with Nick only because he would take care of us both. She told me she never loved him and she really didn’t like you, even if she gave birth to you.
I know this makes no sense to you and I don’t understand it all either but I want to tell you about a man called Tobar. He’s the man she’s been running with the last few months. He’s a mean bastard but she doesn’t care about that.
Something else you might not know is that I’ve been sick a lot lately. I try not to worry you. Nick took me to the doctor and he told us I had a blood cancer. I don’t remember the name of it but it’s bad and the pain is getting worse all the time. Nick wanted me to get treatment but Mom told him no. She told him I wasn’t his kid and if she didn’t want me to get treatment, then there was nothing he could do about it.
She told him she had a new man now, and he didn’t want her kids. She told Nick she was leaving him. Nick begged her to leave me behind, so he could take care of me but she told him she wanted me to die. He tried to tell her the cancer would be painful for me, but she just laughed. She didn’t care. Sam, I was in so much pain all the time I could barely stand it and it was only going to get worse. You were gone, with school or working at the garage, I barely saw you anymore, not that I blame you. I wouldn’t stay here either if I was old enough to get out.
Tonight I plan to face Tobar and Mom. I found out Mom is pregnant again, this time with Tobar’s kid. From what I understand, that isn’t going to make him happy. I’ve been watching them and when Nick is gone, Tobar comes here and they drink a lot and he’s mean to her when he gets drunk. He hits her and tells her she’s a slut. Why she puts up with that shit I’ll never know but she does.
I know you won’t agree or allow me to do this but for once, I’m going to prove to her that I am worth something, even if I die trying. Please don’t hate me. I love you so much big brother, but I have to do this. Not so much for her sake but for mine. Nick always told us we needed to stand up for ourselves, well this is my way of doing that. Tobar might kill me but at least I stood up to the bastard.
I just hope you can forgive me someday. I hope you can forgive Nick someday too. I know you hate him and so did I until I got sick. Then I saw a side of him he never showed either of us before. He does love us, unbelievable but true. He told me he planned to take us both away from her soon and keep us safe, so I can get treatment. He’s not a bad sort when you sit down and talk to him.
Please don’t be mad at me for doing this.
Benny
Sam felt the tears rolling down his face and he made no attempt to hide them. He finally understood what was behind his brother’s death that night. He hadn’t known Benny was sick and that made him feel so small. The last year he’d been home, he hadn’t been around much. He was busy in school and every moment he hadn’t been in school he’d been working his ass off, trying to get enough money together to get both him and Benny out of Quincy. He’d wanted to take his brother and get away from their parents. Neither one deserved to have kids. Sam thought Benny would be better off without their mother and father.
At seventeen, Sam believed he could take care of Benny himself, then Benny died and he found out the hard way he could barely take care of himself.
Sam gripped the letter in his hand and something in the box caught his eye. He had to laugh when he realized what the item was…a small tin soldier Benny had played with when he was small. The paint on the toy was faded with time but even so, it brought back memories Sam thought were long gone. He lifted the soldier out of the box and searched the remaining items in there. He found Benny’s birth certificate and a couple hundred dollars. He frowned when he saw the money but he shrugged. It didn’t matter where the money came from.
Then Sam found something in the bottom of the box that took his breath away. It was a picture of him and Benny. They were still kids but Sam remembered the day the picture was taken. He’d been sixteen and that was the day he’d gotten his driver’s license. The two boys were standing in front of the heap he was able to buy with his earnings. It wasn’t much of a car but it was all he could afford. The two boys had spent hours trying to get it to the point it would run, then one day it ran, and he took Benny for a ride. Benny laughed and smiled that day until his face hurt, at least that’s what he told Sam.
It hadn’t mattered that the car broke down two miles from home and the boys had had to walk back the whole way. All that mattered was the fact they had been together. Sam grinned as he remembered it. Then his eyes caught sight of the letter again, and the grin faded from his face.
Carefully, he replaced the items into the box. He pulled the letter Carla left for him on top and before he closed it, he took note of the return address. He got up and carried the box over to his bike then carefully placed it into his saddlebag.
Throwing his leg over his bike, he stared the engine. He had questions about what really happened the night his brother died and there was one man who had the answers he was looking for. He would see his father one more time and this time…he wouldn’t leave until he had his answers.
CHAPTER NINE
Sin’s Bastards Mc Compound
Michael sat with his father and stared at his half-sister. Cricket was doing her best to ignore them and Michael was getting mad at her. She was acting like he wasn’t even there. Bane was watching her too.
Michael turned his head and saw the blank expression on his father’s face. He frowned for a moment. He’d been sure his father was upset with her. He’d come here to get his family’s daggers from her and she refused to even consider his request. “Do you think she’ll give up the daggers?” he finally asked.
Bane shrugged. “She’ll either give them up willing or unwilling, it doesn’t matter which way but I will get them back.” He studied his son’s face. “Have you found out what you wanted to know?”
Michael glared at her again, and shook his head. “She hasn’t said anything significant about our mother. It’s almost as if she doesn’t want me to know about her.”
Bane shrugged again. “Cricket can be a stubborn little bitch.”
“But like anyone else, she can be controlled, can she not?” Michael asked as a plan began to form in his head.
“Maybe but I can’t threaten her life, she’d give it up before she gave me what I wanted.”
“What about the biker she’s shacking up with?”
Bane shook his head. “I tried that already and that would cause more problems than I need right now, plus make me enemies where I don’t need them. This particular MC has affiliations with the Family. I do not need that kind of complication.” He turned to stare at Cricket again. “No…I will wait. There has to be something in her life she would give up the daggers for. I just have to find what that something is.”
Michael gazed at his father for a moment then turned to look at Cricket. Bane had spoken to him about the daggers before they came here. He said they were part of his family’s history going back hundreds of years. His grandfather had left them to Orrin but Orrin never wanted them. Bane told him the only reason Orrin took them was because Bane wanted them. His grandfather had left Bane something of equal value- a collection of medieval aged swords, some dating back hundreds of years. Bane had them on display at his home. Michael had admired them greatly then Bane told him about the daggers.
Now Michael wanted his father to get the daggers back. He hadn’t had a real family up until now, and these daggers were a part of his family’s history. Something that could be his someday. All he had to do was convince Cricket to give them up. His eyes narrowed as he stared at the only person standing between him and his father. When Bane found him a couple of months ago and told him who he really was, Michael felt everything in his life fall into place. Bane’s shoes would be hard to fill but he knew he could do it. Bane was the best for now, but Michael had a secret dream too. He wanted to show the world
he could be better than his father.
Michael felt his blood run hot. All his life he had these feelings, feelings of uncontrolled rage. Rage that pushed at him so hard, he had to kill to settle the beast within him. Until now, it had been animals that died when the fury got too strong. Michael was proficient with knifes and a bow and his last kill had been a wild wolf he’d taken down after tracking it for days but now this anger was looking for new blood. He turned to study the one person who shared his bloodline but not the rage within him. He’d been told his real sister Cordelia had shared it but not Cricket.
The corners of his lips curled slightly. It wasn’t a smile per say, but an acknowledgement of his next quarry.
~* * * *~
Utica, New York
Bastian watched the monitor on his desk. From the angle of the camera inside the room next door, he could see Sawyer’s every move. She’d been awake for an hour now and was growing restless.
She held the secret of finding the item Max hired him to retrieve, he just had to dig deep into her mind to get to the memories of this. More importantly, if he failed, the Council would take her someday and their men would torture her for the truth. He’d never failed a job, unless the info wasn’t there in a mind. With this one, he could not fail or Sawyer would suffer horribly, then lose her life in the end. He just couldn’t let this happen.
He silently he walked to the door that separated the two rooms. When he closed the door behind him, he locked it and slipped the key in his pocket. He went to the bed and sat down beside her. She was awake but still groggy. He leaned toward her and began whispering in her ear. The drug he’d given her while she slept was a truth serum. He knew from experience how the drug worked. She would sleep for a while then just before the drug wore off, he could ask her anything and she would tell him. He had used this method before and it had gotten him what he wanted.
Now, he needed to put her into a hypnotic state of mind. He wanted to take her back to the age of nine and to the day, her mother had been taken to Max’s mansion. “Sawyer, I want you to listen to the sound of my voice. Nothing here will hurt you, just listen to my voice.”
Bastian shifted his position and got more comfortable. He laid down beside her on the bed. “I want you to remember the day you and your mother were taken to a big house outside of town. Do you see the big iron gates?”
Sawyer frowned as she tried to remember. “No I don’t want to go there. It’s a bad place.”
Bastian leaned in. “Why do you think it’s a bad place?”
She shivered. “Bad man lives live there. Mama doesn’t like him.”
“Who lives there, Sawyer?”
“Max lives in the big house,” she whispered.
“Did you ever go inside the big house?”
Sawyer shook her head.
“Are you sure you never went inside?” Bastian pressed the issue.
Sawyer began to cry. “Mama told me to forget that day. We went to church and she talked to Father Riley. She cried when she went into confession. Father Riley forgave her for her sin. He told her she must never do it again and he forgave her. Then she sat and prayed for hours. She cried the whole time. She held me so close, I couldn’t breathe. She kept rubbing her cross and begging God to bring him back to her.”
“Who did she want back?” Bastian frowned.
“My daddy. He told her once that no matter what, he would come back for her one day. He would save her from herself if he had to. He gave her the cross and he swore before God, he would never give up on her.”
“I thought your father left when you were two? How do you know all this?”
“My mother told me. She told me stories about my father every night before I went to bed. She loved him so much.”
“If she loved him why did she send him away?”
“It was the only way she could save his life.” Sawyer’s voice shook. “Max wanted her but she didn’t want him. He threatened to kill my daddy when I was little, then years later he threatened to kill me if she didn’t give in.”
“But she didn’t give into him. What changed all that?”
“I’m not supposed to tell,” Sawyer whispered in a small voice.
“Why?”
“The bad Max told me to keep the secret.”
“When did Max threaten your life?”
Sawyer began to shiver. “I don’t know!” she cried out. She tried to bring her hands down but they were still tied to the headboard of the bed. The more she struggled the more she cried out. Bastian didn’t know if she was reliving something from her past or just trying to free herself. “Shhh, don’t struggle so.”
Sawyer didn’t seem to hear him. She began screaming and fighting in earnest against the ties that bound her. The zip ties bit into her skin breaking it, causing her wrists to bleed.
He reached for his knife and cut the ties. Then he grabbed her wrists and held her down. “Don’t struggle so much. I won’t hurt you.”
“Mama, don’t let them take me! Mama please don’t let them hurt me.” She kept crying out.
Bastian knew she was caught up in her past. He had to bring her forward in time again. “Shhh, Sawyer listen to the sound of my voice. I won’t hurt you. I’m here to help you. You and your mother are safe. Max is gone and he won’t be back.”
Sawyer couldn’t stop shaking. Her fear seemed so great it threatened to overwhelm her. “You don’t understand. Max isn’t gone, he’s just hiding. His mansion has secret rooms where he goes sometimes. He hides and he watches. He has evil eyes. One Max has green eyes but the other Max has black eyes.”
“The other Max?” Bastian whispered as he frowned. “There is more than one Max Bordeaux?’
Sawyer nodded. “One Max likes to hide and watch. He only comes out when something bad is about to happen.”
“Something bad? Like what?”
“I’m not supposed to tell anyone,” Sawyer confided. “It’s a secret.”
“Does your mother know this secret?”
Sawyer shook her head. “He would kill Mama if she ever found out.”
“Who would?”
“Max number two.”
Bastian frowned. She spoke as if there were two separate people. “How do you know he would kill her if she found out the secret?”
“He told me. He came into my room the night after we’d been to the big house. He was all bloody and he leaned over my bed. He told me I must never tell anyone about him or he would kill my mama. To always keep his secret or he would come after me. Then he drew a symbol on my sheet and he left. I was so scared I didn’t talk for a long time.”
Bastian frowned at her words. He didn’t understand what they meant. He told her to sleep and when she woke up she would feel happy and everything would be okay. Her body relaxed into unconsciousness. Then he went to the bathroom and got the first aid kit. As he dressed her wrists, he thought about what she’d said. He couldn’t help but wonder if she was just confused or did she really believe it?
The serum he used on her had never brought about this type of reaction before. The person under this drug was supposed to tell the truth. Was this the truth? Or something she only believed that happened when she was a young child with a vast imagination? He gently wrapped her wrists and left her unbound.
Going to the kitchen, he made her a sandwich and took a tray to her room. When she woke up, she would need something to eat. Before he left the room, he checked her again. She would wake with no memory of what she told him. She was breathing okay and her heartbeat was normal. He wouldn’t hurt this woman for all the world. He halted for a moment. Odd…to care so much for her. He shook his head. He couldn’t explain it at all.
When he left the room, he made sure to lock the door behind him. Then he went back to his office and for a long time, he just watched her sleep. His mind was racing with possibilities of what he’d learned from her.
Bastian got out his laptop and fired it up. Then he began delving into the past. He needed answers and he n
eeded them quickly. After all this was his job and do it, he would.
~* * * *~
Sin’s Bastards Mc Compound
Michael felt someone step up close to him. He looked up and smiled.
Cricket stood there studying him. Then she sat down at the table with a cup of coffee in her hand. “You’ve been watching me all morning and again, you look like you have something to ask me.”
Michael shrugged. “I came here wondering about my mother, something you have yet to tell me about.” He hesitated then stated, “I grew up with something missing in my life. I felt the people around me weren’t the right people. That I had no connections to them at all. I was very lonely growing up, never feeling like I belonged there.” He shrugged. “Then a few months ago, I found out I didn’t belong there. That my mother gave me up days after I was born. My father didn’t even know I existed until then. My whole life had been a lie.”
Cricket swallowed a sip of her coffee and stared at him. Frowning, she looked away. “I don’t know what you want me to say. My mother didn’t have a whole lot to say about that time in her life. She certainly never told us about you. I didn’t know about you until Bane found your birth certificate that day.”
“Why didn’t she love me like she did you?”
“She loved you,” Cricket replied.
“Why do you say she loved me?”
“You were part of her,” Cricket explained. “She may not had loved your father but you were part of her too. No matter what the circumstances of your conception, she wanted you to have the chance to be born. Bane didn’t want you, he had told her that much. She escaped him to make sure you would be born. She gave you to strangers, so Bane wouldn’t find you.”
“But he did in the end, didn’t he?” Michael stated softly.
“Yes, he did.” Cricket nodded. “For as much good as it did her.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Michael frowned.