“Can you honestly say she didn’t truly see you? Do you know it was a mask that she loved?” Shade asked softly. He wasn’t sure what else to say after Grim’s admission, but felt like he should say something to fill the silence.
Grim smiled at him sadly and nodded once before he began again. “I do the right things for the wrong reasons, and you do the right things without regard to reason. I trust you Shade. I don’t use those words lightly and I think I’ve only said them to two people in my entire life before now. I look at you and I see hints of Micah, but you have never once expected me to bow before you. You have always treated me as an equal. We can balance each other, but only if you can trust me, and I have to know that you truly see me as I am before you say that you trust me. I am not a hero. I am truly the Black Bastard in most ways and when I do manage to do the right thing it is usually by accident. Evanell trusted me blindly and I feel guilt for that. There are very few people that I actually care about and I have taken every one of them for granted. I won’t repeat the same mistakes and I will not hide what I am from a true friend ever again. If we are to continue working together I want you to realize that you are dealing with the Black Bastard and not the hero Arovan bards sing about.”
Shade remained silent for a long moment before nodding. “I understand what you are saying but that doesn’t mean I agree. I trusted you before and I trust you now. I don’t care why you do what you do or how much you loathe yourself. I judge you on what you have shown me, and I haven’t seen anything to distrust yet.”
Grim stared at him with a look of mild disbelief and snorted in disgust. “I don’t loathe myself.” He objected firmly. “I think you misunderstood me. I want you to understand that I am not noble and heroic, but that is by choice. I may not have the merits others revere and tell stories of, but it’s only because that isn’t important to me. I am fearless, loyal, and more talented than ninety percent of the people wasting my air. I wasn’t apologizing for what I am I was warning you before I propose a deal.”
Shade gaped at him for a breath then nodded unsure if he was amused or disturbed by Grim’s words. The man had essentially labeled himself as a self-created asshole and seemed rather proud of the fact. At an utter loss of what to say or how to react to that kind of admission Shade simply nodded with pursed lips and raised an eyebrow. “A deal?” he inquired with more than a little curiosity. He couldn’t help but wonder what Grim could want from him that required him to bare his soul so completely.
“Blackwolf and Blue Bess crafted me into the creature I am today.” Grim began slowly and Shade could tell he was trying to choose his words very carefully so there was no confusion. “When they exiled me they laid the foundation for the Bloody Huntsman. I do not regret what I am, but I don’t want to repeat their mistake. I look at Syrah and I see Evanell and I want to destroy everyone that took my wife from me when I know I should be comforting my daughter instead. I am holding so much anger inside right now that Syrah will suffer from my presence alone. I need guidance past this or she will end up just as broken as we are. I tried to send her to my Aunt in Arovan, but she refused it. She wants to remain with me, but she can’t seem to understand what kind of danger that puts her in right now. You have what I lack, Shade. You have compassion and you are the key to Syrah’s salvation if you are willing to help me.”
“Grim I am as good as dead. Unless you can summon my spirit back from the Darklands to tell Syrah bedtime stories I fail to see how I am anyone’s salvation right now. How can you ask me to save a child after seeing the wreck I’ve made of my own life?” Shade protested bitterly.
“Help me and I will help you, Shade. Keep me from destroying my daughter and in turn I will devote every ounce of my power to whatever purpose you point me toward. I am a weapon, and even Myth can fall before me.” Grim returned without a trace of hesitation in his voice.
“I think you are underestimating Myth.” Shade cautioned with a frown.
“I know you are underestimating me.” Grim countered with a smirk and raised an eyebrow. “I’ll even take you on a finding if you agree to my deal.”
“A finding?” Shade asked in confusion. It wasn’t a term he was familiar with, and wasn’t about to agree to anything until he understood it.
“It’s a Glis tradition. For a Shifter it is to spend time in each of your forms until you find the one you have harmony with. You have infinite forms so obviously I cannot offer that. I can show you how to separate your lives though so you won’t give yourself away with habits by blending your lives together.” Grim clarified.
“I don’t know about the finding, but as to the rest you have a deal. I really don’t think you understand though. Myth is much more dangerous than Grace was, and my mother gave you a very good fight.” Shade sighed.
“I was trying to die when I faced Grace not to mention that I was poisoned, wounded and fighting several Rivasans when I fought her. I made a deal with Ryvenken when I first declared Kevala’drin. In essence if I lived through the fight my body belonged to the sword. I didn’t plan to live because of that. I have devoted my life to what I am, and I wasn’t about to hand over that much power to a sword that makes me seem like a caring person in comparison. Ryvenken is ruthless whereas I’m simply callous. There isn’t much difference, but it is there.” His serious expression shifted to a smile and he pushed off the wall. “Now then let’s examine this prison of yours and find your friend.” Grim suggested as if what he was proposing was the easy part and sharing his secrets had been the main obstacle of the day.
“Not so fast.” Shade said holding up a hand to stop Grim before he could rise. “My turn. If we are going to have full trust you deserve my side of things.” He explained as he kicked the gem toward Grim. “Fortunately for you someone took the time to make a gem of my life so you can sit back and watch the entire tragedy while I drink more and try to digest everything.”
Grim frowned briefly then gingerly picked up the gem and examined it. “What do you mean someone crafted it? You don’t know who made this gem?”
“Haven’t got a clue. I woke up with it on my nightstand and my ego has been in a downward spiral ever since. Go ahead enjoy and when you realize you have bargained away your daughter’s sanity to an idiot feel free to reconsider our arrangement. I won’t hold you to it I promise.” Shade said with a grin as he settled himself against the rail and reclaimed his bottle from the floor.
Grim nodded once before wrapping his fingers around the gem and closing his eyes. His face was neutral of all expression as he slowly turned the gem over in his hand to examine the memories concealed in each faucet. By the time he was done the bottle was empty and Shade was trying to decide if the mild buzz he felt was actually worth the horrible taste the wine left in his mouth.
“Shade.” Grim said carefully and waited until Shade met his eyes before he held up the gem. “I don’t know who crafted this, but they didn’t have your best intentions in mind when they did it. This wasn’t left to warn you, it was left to cripple you.”
“They are my memories. How can anyone possibly expect me to be crippled by knowledge that I already had?” Shade protested and had to resist the urge to laugh at Grim’s logic.
“It’s perspective Shade. The memories are fact but the ways they are portrayed are bias. My birth mother is a bard I know about perspective better than anyone else. Blue Bess tells stories about me across Arovan and Glis in an attempt to make every moment of my life seem like a heroic tale. She does it to save her own reputation. She doesn’t want anyone shunning her for spawning me. So she paints a pretty picture from every blood soaked mess I leave and everyone believes I am the good guy. This gem is the same exact thing. Someone has taken every moment of your childhood and painted motive on everything to make you seem like a puppet.” Grim explained calmly and shook his head in disgust as he tossed the gem back to Shade. “I could do the same thing with the time we spent in the Blight prison, but that wouldn’t make it the truth. I could pretend I manipu
lated you into freeing me, but the honest truth is that you did so by your own free will.”
“You don’t understand Myth.” Shade said wearily and shook his head as he dropped the gem into his coat pocket. “If you did you would realize everything in this stone is likely true.”
“No, you don’t understand manipulation.” Grim corrected. “All it takes to get someone to do what you want is changing their perspective. Myth has made you believe you are a puppet, and you are giving up. He has taken every memory you had and tarnished it with lies to sow doubt, and it worked splendidly. The memories are still the same, but he changed the way you perceive them.”
Shade opened his mouth to object but stopped himself and actually considered what Grim was saying. It did sound like something Myth would do, but the images in the gem explained so much about his childhood when he viewed them. “I think I need to consider this more.” Shade mused quietly.
“I think you need to consider it less and get off your ass. Myth is trying to make you give up. That means the only thing we really can do at this point is push forward. You can spin this around in your mind all night long and in the end you will be jumping at every shadow and seeing conspiracy everywhere, or we can do what you came here to do and face Myth together when he finally crawls out of whatever rock he is hiding under. Your choice.” Grim said calmly as he offered Shade a hand up from the ground.
“I like it all except for the part of facing Myth. If I face Myth I’m going to die, and I really am not fond of the thought of serving Finn. He would make me clean the demon’s privy or something equally distasteful. Finn and I don’t get along well. Which makes it pretty amazing that I seem to get along perfectly with you since you claim to be the same sort of creature as Finn.” The words poured out of Shade in a tumble until he realized he was babbling and snapped his mouth shut tightly. He wasn’t sure if it was the wine or his nerves, but decided either way silence was probably his best option.
“Finn is Firym. His arrogance is the difference. He proclaims to the world how wonderful he is. I silently show the world my perfection and don’t bother to wait around for the applause. Finn requires confirmation of his talent, I don’t.” Grim explained with a smile as he lifted his coat from the railing and turned to head back inside the inn.
“Wait! Don’t you need to take us out of the Shadows?” Shade protested as he started after Grim.
“I had planned to use the shadows to investigate the prison. Would you prefer I simply stroll past the guards and pretend I am there for confessions from the prisoners?” Grim asked dryly. With a smirk he shrugged his coat back on and pulled the cowl up to emphasis his point.
“I think you might possibly be the first Priest of Fear that bothered to listen to confessions. I’m pretty certain the rest of your order would mock the prisoners for being scared little pussies.” Shade admitted with a smile.
“I doubt I could refrain from mocking them either. So the shadows are our best approach I think.” Grim returned with a wink as he headed for the stairs.
“I show fear all of the time. How come you don’t mock me?” Shade asked as he started after Grim’s quickly disappearing form.
“I do. I just keep it to myself.” Grim teased then chuckled at Shade’s snort of displeasure. “I don’t mock you because you don’t let fear master you. You always face it and thus you are above my contempt.” Grim amended with a grin.
“Good to know. Don’t run while Grim is watching. Got it.” Shade said and for the first time in four days he felt his confidence slowly creeping back in. Grim had a very valid point, Fear had never stopped him before, and he wasn’t sure why he allowed a few memories in a gem to stop him now. He knew what was right and for better or worse he would save Charm and to hell with the consequences, at least he wasn’t facing it alone. “I think confidence might be contagious. Yours seems to be rubbing off on me.” Shade observed with a smile.
“I am a Priest of Fear, Shade. Confidence is most easily attained when one is not frightened. You will always be confident around me, because I will always ensure that you have nothing to fear.” Grim replied smoothly as he pushed the door of the inn opened and began walking slowly toward the center of Sanctuary.
“One day you are going to have to tell me the story about how you became a priest. I thought only the Delvay revered the gods enough to worship them.” Shade said with a grin.
“The god sought me out and offered me a deal I couldn’t refuse.” Grim replied without even a hint of a smile on his face to suggest he was joking.
Shade stared at him in amazement for a long moment before he slowly realized Grim wasn’t teasing. “The Divine of Fear sought you out?” he repeated dumbly.
Grim nodded and smiled as he met Shade’s eyes. “And therein you have the first hint of why I am not concerned with Myth. As I said before, I am much more than a simple Shifter and it will take more than a Changeling to give me pause. Myth is old and powerful, but I am the Bloody Huntsman and I always find my prey.”
Chapter 18
Delvay
“I don’t like it. It’s too easy.” Neph declared as he tossed the carefully penned invitation down onto his table. His eyes scanned over the document again reading through the delicate script proclaiming him the rightful High Lord of Delvay and he snorted in disgust. The Empress’s signature filled the bottom corner of the parchment as well as half a dozen seals proving that it was legitimate, but it still felt wrong in his hands.
Jala sighed in exasperation and Neph looked up at her and shook his head slowly before his eyes moved past her to rest on Onvalla. If anything the leader of the Blights looked more uneasy than he was, though Neph wasn’t certain if it was the formal dress the Blight was wearing causing her discomfort or if she truly shared his suspicions on the Empress’s invitations to council.
“She doesn’t like it either.” Neph informed Jala with a wave of his hand.
Shaking her head Jala glanced at Onvalla and then looked to Madren who lounged in one of the chairs with a pensive expression on his face. “What do you think?” Jala asked as she brushed a curl back from her face. Her long silk skirts rustled softly as she moved to the table and picked up the document Neph had discarded. The High Lady ran a finger across one of the seals and carefully folded it once more before placing it beside the rest of the invitations she had acquired in Sanctuary.
“I think Neph is always suspicious, but I’m not sure he is right on this account. It does seem odd that the invitations would be given so easily, but then Empress Symphony needs as much support as she can manage at this point.” Madren replied calmly and gave Neph an almost apologetic look.
“Exactly how I saw it!” Jala agreed with a smile as she turned back to Neph. “Look, many have lost faith in Symphony and with good reason. When I walked into her chambers demanding invitations for the High Lords she had wrongfully neglected it was like answering a prayer for her. She needs support and I brought it. For the love of the Aspects Neph it’s a council meeting and nothing more.”
“And she conveniently waited until the morning of the council to give you the invitations. That effectively eliminates any time I would have had to consider this. I have two choices now, accept this blindly and go to the meeting, or ignore her and try to maintain my seat as High Lord without any support from my peers.” Neph returned in a growl and shook his head once more. “It’s too bloody easy.” He repeated and let out a heavy sigh.
“Neither of us have a choice in this Lord Delvayon.” Onvalla pointed out bluntly. Her pale blond hair had been artfully arranged and Jala had managed to convince the Blight to wear a silk dress, but the woman still stood as if she were about to do battle despite her refined appearance. “We must be seen as High Lords and if we are going to do that we must accept her invitation and attend this council.” Onvalla said firmly.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to attend. I merely pointed out that I didn’t like it.” Neph snapped and somehow the silence that followed his words was
even more irritating than the invitations themselves. He glanced around the room and not for the first time felt Shade’s absence like a blow to the gut. He had gotten so used to Shade’s careless remarks that the lack of them made the silence stretch painfully. “Have you heard anything from Vaze?” he asked softly almost before he realized he was abandoning his argument by changing the subject.
Jala nodded slightly and a frown creased her full lips as she seemed to notice Shade’s absence as well. Her violet eyes flicked to Neph and sighed. “Vaze has checked every slave market on Sanctuary. He was subtle and discreet with his search and he has concluded that Shade lied about selling them, but we cannot determine what truly did with them.” She informed him quietly.
“Zoelyn hasn’t believed he was guilty since he left.” Neph admitted ruefully. Absently he ran a hand through his hair and shook his head in frustration. “Why would he intentionally piss us off and leave like that.”
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