My Heart
Leigh Armstrong
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
To all of the people who made
“My Heart”
A reality
Thank you!
I dedicate my first book to my friend.
Carol Ann Blunt
1965-2017
Always in my heart!
Wherever this book travels, so will you!
My Heart Copyright © 2018 by Leigh Armstrong. All Rights Reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
Cover designed by Meg Reid
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Leigh Armstrong
[email protected]
https://www.facebook.com/leigharmstrongauthor
Printed in the United States of America
First Printing: Aug 2018
ISBN-978-1-7326939-0-6 paperback
Author Photo by Philip Andrews Photography
Chapter 1
Isit up shaking my head, wondering if that rooster has ever missed a morning. But he hasn’t. In fact, he comes to work regularly, gets along with his coworkers, and has been my nemesis for many years. Rubbing my eyes, I toss off the warm covers of my bed because despite rain, sleet, or snow I must be downstairs ready to perform my farm duties on time every day. My dad believes people should work hard for what they get in life— especially his only daughter. I understand, but when I go off to college I will not miss cleaning stalls, feeding pigs, or gathering eggs from the hens. I stand up, take in a deep cleansing breath while walking to my window admiring the wildflowers I’ve nurtured since I was ten. Nature’s way (and mine) of putting calm in the world. I lean out a bit to see my favorite pond, which is one of the best places to put in a boat and get lost in the big blue sky. Let’s not forget the healing powers of green grass—the soft feel under bare feet or the vivid green color that brightens everything along with the incredible smell when it’s freshly cut. All of this beauty at my fingertips, but I’m ready to experience the concrete world of dorms, classes, parties, and boys.
I make my way over to the mirror taking off my sleep shirt and put on a bra, my tie-dye t-shirt, and pull up the straps to my bib overalls. Not the most flattering, but it works. I head to my bathroom and quickly but thoroughly floss and brush my teeth. My mind wonders to breakfast and what awaits me. Face it, I live for food and I take every opportunity to consume it. Freshman fifteen, I do not fear you!
At the top of the stairs, I’m met with memories of my past hanging on the wall. Grandpa Joe and Nana Beth posing in front of their little white house with their favorite cow, Buttons. I also see my dog Ted with his toy squirrel and then it’s the picture of Mom with me. There was a bright sun that day and we sat under the big oak tree out front. I wore a yellow polka dot dress and my mother was in a navy blue one with a big straw hat. We were painting with watercolors, trying to create our next masterpiece. When I saw my dad coming with the camera, I crawled onto her lap. Just looking at the photo I can feel her arms around me. Her hair was short, just starting to come back from the chemo, and blowing like baby duck feathers in the wind. I saw her beauty never the signs of her illness. Amanda Carson Morgan, mother of one curious daughter, Jamie Carson Morgan, played with me no matter what. She had answers to all my questions and called me her “little miracle.” She used to have long curly brown hair just like mine and her green eyes sparkled whenever she looked at me. We would play restaurant, rodeo Barbie and make mud pies leaving them on the front steps to cook. She read books over and over at bedtime and we would sneak down to make peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwiches after ten. The disease took her away from me, but she is always in my heart.
I head down the rest of the steps and into the kitchen where I find Ruby wearing a green apron and sporting two oven mitts as she takes a pan of heaven out of the oven. Ruby is a sweet lady who was hired five months after Mom died to cook, clean, and keep me straight. The afternoon I started my period, she sat me down and told me everything about it. I asked her questions about boys and I remember once while hanging out clothes I asked her, “When will my boobs come in?” That one made her laugh and she threw a towel at me.
She catches a glimpse of me before I can surprise her. “Hey sleepyhead, did you forget about today?”
“No. All these wonderful smells mean your special muffins with thick sliced bacon, eggs and cheese. Need I say more?”
I walk into her open arms to receive a warm hug.
“I can’t believe you’re going to be graduating high school and you are all grown up.”
“Please tell me I’m still growing.” I look down at my chest.
She smacks me on my bottom. “Little lady, what am I going to do with you?”
“Well, I won’t be running into the kitchen grabbing food or walking over your wet floors with muddy boots for a while.”
She pauses. “I’ll miss you doing all that.” She reaches up and touches my braid. “It’s been my pleasure to watch you grow into the beautiful young woman before me. Spitting image of your mother.”
She then turns her attention to the hot pan wiping her face off with her apron.
I put my arms around her. “Do you know what I will miss when I go away?”
Ruby mumbles. “What?”
“Your strawberry muffins.”
Putting her hand on her hip Ruby pushes a plate towards me. “That’s what you'll miss, muffins? She shakes her head at me. “Your dad is down with Sam you better get going.”
“I almost forgot Sam is leaving for his new home today!” I grab the paper plate and head for the barn. I yell back, “I’ll miss you more!”
I eat while running down to the barn. Today, I send my horse Sam to his new home at Covington House where I’ve volunteered for three summers. They rehabilitate people of all ages using different animals to encourage their progress. I know they’ll fall in love with him just like I did.
Dad is standing in front of the stall and as I walk toward him, I can only think how well he fits into this life. My dad, Jamison Craig Morgan, is forty-two years old with skin tanned from long days in the sun. He’s wearing his signature brown hat that I could always spot when I was looking for him in a crowd. He’s always worked hard, woken up early, and stayed up late, but always found time for me. Teaching me to do the right thing, be kind, and stay true to myself. He disciplined me with a gentle hand, and I learned from every lesson given.
I toss my plate in th
e trash barrel. “Good morning. I almost forgot about today.”
He turns to face me. “Are you going to forget about me when you go to college this fall?”
“Not possible. Just a lot on my mind. I’m here now ready to send my friend off to his new home.” I stand by Sam, stroking the hair on his neck. “Remind me why this is the right thing to do.”
“You’ve taken great care of him. Loving him is why you’re doing it. He will be with people who need him and will love him as much as you.”
I wrap my arms around Dad’s waist. “I’m going to miss all your words of wisdom.”
His arms tighten around me. “You’re an old soul with a good heart and compassion for others. You have a good head on your shoulders and are stronger than you think. Now, are you ready?”
“Yes, we’re ready.” Pulling out my phone, I snap a picture of Dad, myself, and Sam one last time before loading him into the trailer.
Chapter 2
My high school graduation along, with my 19th birthday is almost here. Long ago, the simple suggestion of holding me back a year to cope with the loss of my mother was the best choice for me. When you are five, you miss your mom, cry and refuse everyone right away. It’s a horrible rollercoaster of mixed emotions, soothed only by time and love from those around you.
Small towns offer fewer people to interact with, so friend groups can be limited. Mine is made up of Susan Hadley and Jeffrey Brock. Susan is a blonde haired, blue-eyed girl who is smart, encourages fun, taking chances and flirting. In comparison, I’m still a little awkward, especially with boys and clothes that show my feminine side. Susan says what’s on her mind, no matter what, because she thinks its best. We are friends any time of the day and cheerleaders through life’s little triumphs lending a shoulder to cry on when needed. I will miss everything about her when we attend different schools in the fall, but our phones will keep us connected.
Jeffrey is a cute and funny guy who Susan found in the lunch line one day and pulled him to our table. Our friendship began over pizza in the cafeteria. She tried to be more than a friend several times but he never reciprocated. Over time he and I developed a quiet unspoken attraction between us, but I felt it would be too complicated, so we’ve just remained friends. Jeffrey is the guy everyone wants to hang around. He’s popular with the deepest blue eyes that mesmerize as he works his charm on you. A little cocky, but never around us. He’s tried to get us to play baseball or get up and go running with him many times, which usually ends early with two girl’s lying in the grass, dreaming of our futures. When I had chicken pox, he brought me a bouquet of candy bars during a storm. These are the two people who’ve made my school years memorable.
*
Spanish is my next class of the day but I see Jeffrey standing with a girl, who’s all caught up in those blue eyes. I listen to some of their conversation before he spots me. When I can take no more of his game, I finally speak.
“Jeffrey, do you have a minute?”
And there goes his perfect smile as I steal him away. “Of course I do.”
The girl, Heather Sims, looks around him to me, then back to him. “Jeffrey? What about later?”
“I’ll call you.”
She spins around with a growl, leaving us alone.
“I think she expected more. By the way, are you coming to my birthday party?”
“Why do you think I wouldn’t come?”
“Because I sometimes say no to your invites.”
He walked over to me. “Why is that?”
“You know why.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “You could say yes sometimes.”
He moves his hand above my head, leaning on the locker, smiling at me. “Do you remember the pact we made a few years ago at Jim’s party?”
“I remember it was silly.”
“Let’s see…it was Spin the Bottle and we won the last round, which meant our turn would be in his bedroom upstairs, away from all the others for fifteen minutes. We sat across each other on the floor and had a sweet first kiss. What happened next?”
“I stopped you from kissing me again.”
“Why?” He lifts my chin. “Please tell me why you would stop fate.”
His lips call me now just like back then, but I duck under his arm escaping his hold on me.
“Jamie, tell me the words.” He moves towards me.
“Seriously?” He wasn’t taking no for an answer, so I begin. “If I, Jamie Morgan, have not had sex with anyone by the end of summer before leaving for college, Jeffrey Brock will be with me for the sake of experience only before entering the gates of college hookups.”
“Aww, you remember.”
“Yes, of course.”
He taps his chest. “I’m here for you.”
“I need to go.”
He takes my backpack.
“Come on, friend. I’ll walk you to class. Your cheeks seem a little flushed, are you feeling well?”
I punch him in his arm and he yelps like it hurt.
Chapter 3
Today is the day 67 students in our senior class graduate from Covington High School. Thank goodness, there was no rooster for me this morning because Dad gave me the day off. The weather is excellent for an outdoor ceremony. I peek out over the crowd, seeing him and Ruby in the audience as I take my seat. After some introductions and a speech or two, my row finally prepares to receive diplomas. I get emotional on my last steps across the stage placing a hand on the picture of my mom in the pocket of my dress, and with the other shake the hand of Principal Baxter. It’s bittersweet taking this last walk across the stage, but I hear the whistle sound that Dad uses to find me on the farm when I’m late. It makes me smile as I walk down to my seat. I sit among the others and when the last awards are given out, our caps are thrown, neighbors are hugged and we’re released to our proud family members.
I find Dad first and receive the best hug ever. “Dad, we did it!”
“Yes, everything is official now.”
Ruby is crying but smiling. “Come here you.”
I do as I’m asked gladly. “We promised no more tears.”
Susan yells out my name, waving me over to her.
Dad takes the diploma from me. “Go enjoy your friends. This is your day. We’ll head back to the house to finalize details for tonight’s party.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
I join the others as we take our traditional walk through town to the ice cream store for free milkshakes. One benefit of a small town and my stomach!
*
My room is covered with clothes from Susan’s overnight bag and the music is pushing our mood into high gear as I come out of the bathroom. She’s singing into the mirror, applying her lipstick when our eyes meet. “That’s what you’re wearing?”
“Yeah, why?”
She faces me. “This is your party. Please wear the dress we bought at the mall.”
“It’s too revealing.”
“We purchased the little cardigan, remember?”
“Yes.”
“So put it on, because someone needs to see you wear it.”
I shake my head. “We’re…”
“Friends? A status I hope will change before you both leave for school. Why are you stopping the inevitable? Both of you are into each other—everyone can see that, except you.”
“Alright. I’ll change.”
“Good girl.” She talks loud while I change. “Girl, you’re always hiding in jeans and t-shirts. Clothes are meant to enhance your girly assets.”
I walk out.
Her face lights up. “Oh shit!”
“Too much?”
“You look great.”
I pull at the material as she puts her hands around me, grabbing my chest.
“Yep, your boobs are bigger!”
I start laughing. “Finally!”
“Grab the power of being a girl, because a daring red halter dress screams sexy!” Susan squeals.
“What is it?”
“Liquid Courage.” She pours us two small cups of vodka from the bottle. “To us. To a relationship that will last forever.”
*
Upon our arrival at the tent, we see other kids dressed to impress tonight. Susan’s wearing a short, black denim skirt with a yellow off the shoulder shirt that turns heads immediately. The lights are hung, music is pumping, and the smell of food lingers in the air.
Dad steps up next to us. “What are you ladies waiting for?”
Susan decides to exit, excusing herself to the food table.
“Dad, our farm was the best choice for tonight’s celebration. Elise and Mr. Green made this tent simply magical.”
“I wanted you kids to have a night to remember. They both will be around tonight if you need anything.”
“You’re not staying?”
“No, I think I’ll read in the quiet of my study.”
“Do you feel okay?”
“You worry too much. Don’t hide under the sweater because of me it’s a pretty dress.”
“I won’t.”
“It’s time for me to let you go.”
“Just let go a little. I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, sweet pea. Now go have fun.”
He turns around, hands in his front pockets, and takes long strides towards the house. I follow my father’s signature hat until the night takes him out of my sight.
Susan is quick to pull off my protective layer. “Now let’s start the fun!”
She pulls me onto the wooden platform, getting lost in the music. We’re approached by a couple of guys who want to dance, but who have never spoken to me before. Amazing what the right dress will do.
The air in the tent is a little warm, so I head over in search of water. Jeffrey is standing by the table wearing khaki pants and a blue button up, smiling back at me. He makes a circle motion with his finger. As I comply, he hands me a bottle of water.
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