“Caleb.”
“The only way to put you out of my mind was to put distance between us, maybe find someone else. I started drinking and attending every party I could. One night at a party in BETA House I was so wasted and a redheaded girl sat down next to me. She was also drunk but it led us into making out there, then going back to her place. I woke up the next morning alone in a girl’s bed with a massive headache. I went looking for her and ibuprofen only to find her in the kitchen in my shirt and long blonde hair. When she turned to face me, it was Stacey.”
“You knew what she did to Michael and how she was with me just for living in the apartment with him. You also knew what she looked like.”
“She wore a wig and dressed like an average college student. Everything I knew about her disappeared because of how she made me feel. I began to spend more time with her which made it easier not being with you. I know that sounds shitty, but I knew deep down that Michael was into you and what I saw of you two together, you were falling for him.”
“You just stopped talking to me. I don’t throw relationships aside for others. We could have been supportive of each other whether we were together or not.”
“I know that now, but the road I took was not one I wanted you to be on. I drank, even took some pills that kept me in a state of not being able to do any part of my life, except being with her at her apartment. I left my family, school, and you. I am sorry.”
“Do you still want to be with her?”
“Now that my head is clear, thanks to a letter from my sister and seeing you the other night, it makes me want something different for myself. I want to get back into school, stop the drinking, and hope my family and friends will take me back.”
“It all sounds good.”
“Well it won’t be easy knowing the kind of hurt I left along the way. She lied to me. I think she has a plan to get Michael back and used my connection with you.”
“How?”
“She wanted me to talk about you, where you were from, who your friends were, etc. She wants you away from him. I think she did something the night of the party at your apartment.”
“Like what?”
“She spoke with someone on the phone and knew you were out of town.”
“But how would she know that? Do you know what she did?”
“No, I passed out on the bed before she left. But the next day she was all over me, happy, and assured me things would be different soon for the both of us. I don’t know what that meant.” He folds his hands in front of him. “You may never forgive me, but I’m done with her for good. I never meant harm to either of you, but I know in giving her certain information, it might come back to cause issues for you both.”
I look into my mug, then back at him. “I don’t trust her because of what happened that night and I’m glad you are away from her.” We both stand as I put on my coat. “I usually like people or find something in them I like, but not Stacey. She seems to go the extra mile to hurt people.”
“I see that now that my mind is clear.”
“Caleb, it’s not up to me or anyone else to say who you can be with, but I’m glad you realized who she really is. You will find yourself again, just give it time.”
“Thanks for meeting with me. I am trying to make everything right again.”
*
When I arrive home, I feel confused. Knowing he was with her, telling her things about me, and that she still wants Michael frustrates me. He let go of himself for so many months, and the fact that he was used by her to help in whatever plan she has makes me sick. I wipe tears off my face and see Michael on the sofa watching a game.
“Hey, who’s playing?”
He turns around. “Are you okay?”
I sit beside him on the sofa.
“How did it go?”
“He’s so different—not only in appearance, but he told me he was drinking, even taking pills that kept him in a fog. He not only stopped talking with me but he cut off contact with his family. I hope he can find his way back because I miss the Caleb I knew before.
*
We both wake up to a blank blue screen a few hours later, cozy on the sofa.
I pull out my hair tie. “Um, it’s late.”
“Are you feeling better?”
“With you, yes.”
“Want to talk about Caleb?”
“You saw him that night at the restaurant. He let so much of himself go to be with her.”
“But why Stacey?”
“He said he liked me and wanted to take our relationship to the next step, but I didn’t. To get me off his mind he started drinking and going to parties. They met at a fraternity party and she was wearing a red wig. Both of them were drunk and he went home with her. He said she helped him not think of me, so he drank, popped pills and didn’t see his family. He did talk about the night of the party but just that she spoke with someone on the phone, then when she came back home that night she was happy.”
“I get the trying to be numb to forget something—I’ve done that. Caleb threw away what was real for him by turning to her. Did he leave her for good?”
“He said he did. He wants to be better, be himself again.”
“Good.”
“He is pretty sure she wants you back or at least wants me gone. He told her things about me, my family and friends back home.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
He smiles, pulling me up off the sofa. “She is jealous because I lost my heart to you because of the goodness I see in your eyes and the huge heart that you have open to everyone. What I had with Stacey was drama, bad behavior, and self-destruction. What you give me is nothing that she is capable of giving to another person.”
“Well I hope this light he has seen continues because I see nothing good for him being with her.”
“How about we go to bed and maybe go to brunch at Dot’s tomorrow?”
Like any girl who lives for food and the company of a great guy, I agree to his proposition immediately. “Sounds good.”
*
Michael
As I tuck Jamie into my left arm with her head resting on my chest, we go to bed no closer to solving our dilemma, but I know I want Stacey out of our lives for good. I even want her away from Caleb. Crazy does not cover what she has done but knowing how far she will go to get the results she wants disturbs me. The next morning Jamie has research to do with her study group in the library this morning, so we decide no brunch and I grab a quick cup of coffee before heading to the bar. I hand the barista my card when painted red nails slide around my waist resting on my shirt.
“Hey, handsome.”
I jerk around. “Stacey, what the hell are you doing?”
“Come on, don’t you remember the last time I touched you and how much you liked it?”
The girl on the other side of the counter cuts her eyes at me. I grab Stacey by the arm and pull her towards the hall towards the bathrooms, hoping not to let anyone else hear her. She yanks her arm away, rubbing her elbow.
“I like to play rough too, sometimes,” she says, smiling coyly at me.
“What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s start with the party.”
“You want to talk about what you did to me or what I lovingly did to you?”
“Why were you there?” She steps towards me as I step back away from her.
“Why are you so cold to me after what we rediscovered?”
“Are you taking some type of delusional drug? Because I would never choose to be with you.”
“We have heat you and I—she can’t give you that.”
It takes everything I have to stay calm. I’ve never hit a woman, but she could be the first. “I know you drugged a few of us the night of the party. What I want to know is why you gave it to us and what you were trying to accomplish with the fake pictures.”
“Nothing fake. There was a lot of alcohol in the apartment. I think
you forgot how to have fun.”
I turn, running my hands through my hair in frustration. “Stop with the lies. What are you doing with Caleb? You made it clear by not locking your phone you wanted us to see all your pictures.”
She begins to smile. “He was in need of companionship and I needed the distraction.”
“You have no idea how you hurt people. You need counseling. Stay away from me, away from Jamie, and leave Caleb the hell alone. I’m tired of this bullshit you’ve fabricated.”
I turn to leave when she grabs my coat. “Don’t leave. Let’s talk some more.”
My body stiffens. “Let go.”
She waves her hands in surrender. “We’re meant to be together, you’ll see.”
I pull out my phone and call Jamie leaving the coffee shop. Stacey has clearly snapped transforming into someone I don’t recognize at all. Come on Jamie, pick up. I need to hear your voice. She answers quietly.
“Hey, handsome, miss me already?”
“Where are you?”
“I’m in the library. Is something wrong?”
“I’m coming to you, please wait for me.”
*
Jamie
I slip my phone in my back pocket. Something is wrong, but what? I look up to see him suddenly in front of me, but unsmiling and clearly upset. He reaches for my hand, saying nothing as I follow behind him to an aisle in the back of the library. He backs me up against the shelf of books which is a hot move, but something is wrong. His fingers trace along the inside of my hands that he’s holding close to my sides. He’s trying to calm down before speaking so I wait. He takes one of my hands, placing it over his heart.
“Jamie, this is where you are, where you’ve always been. I like who I am with you. I don’t want to wait any longer to be with you if you still want me.”
My other hand touches his cheek, feeling the prick of his stubble from not shaving this morning. “I don’t want to wait either. Tell me what happened.”
“I just left the Coffee Hut where Stacey magically appeared. She acts like we’re a couple. I told her I felt all of it was staged the night of the party and that she drugged me and a few of the other guys.”
“She denied it, I’m sure.”
“We’ll never get the truth about that evening.”
“No, we won’t.” His eyes are different now. All the anger and frustration from earlier now gone replaced by gentle caring eyes who want me.
“I trust your beautiful green eyes with my life. Are you ready for the next step in our commitment to one another?”
Touching his cheek I nod my head yes. “I’m ready for whatever comes our way.”
We kiss without holding back. Our connection to one another started months ago and now we can finally give in to the feelings we have for each other.
Chapter 23
After taking a difficult exam and turning in another paper, I’m looking forward to having dinner with Michael. After the encounter with Stacey, he is more than ready to move on and so am I. We are ready for what is to come, taking each step for us. Arriving at the apartment with little time to get ready, I choose an outfit I hope drives him crazy wanting me. Black heels and a green dress that grabs my curves, I smooth out the material and look in the mirror, tucking a small portion of hair behind my right ear. I head down the hall to his room, where I’m stopped in my tracks at the sight of him. It’s not just the tailored blue suit he’s wearing that fits him perfectly, but the look in his eyes as he sees me. Yep, that’s what I want.
“You look handsome.”
He walks towards me. “I’m trying to make a good impression on someone special.”
“Totally impressed. Where are we eating?”
“Angelo’s.”
“Yum, let me gab my coat.”
He grabs my hand, turning me to face him. “Not before I tell you how beautiful you are right now.”
“Well, I’m also trying to impress someone very special.”
“Definitely did that and more.”
We arrive at the restaurant which has a long line out front, but he keeps walking to the hostess stand. Angelo’s is a high-end establishment in town, serving authentic Italian food from recipes handed down in the family. Not a lot of college kids but it stays packed.
He steps up. “Reservation Tucker.”
The hostess gives menus to another woman. “Lane will seat you. Enjoy your evening.”
Okay, she’s eyeing him like he’s an appetizer up for grabs. I link my arm into his, Yes, all mine, menu closed. I smile, thinking petty but great.
All the tables are covered in white tablecloths with white dishes trimmed in blue, but on our table, there is a vase of pink peonies.
I look around at the other tables. “Did you do this?”
“Yes, because I know you love them.”
“So sweet. Thank you.” He helps me out of my coat then holds the chair for me. I sit, but not before grabbing one of the flowers, holding it to my nose.
“They remind me of your first night in the apartment. You came out hair wet, fresh from a shower, smelling like this flower.”
“That night I spilled out my life to you and hoped you were not going to regret me taking the room.”
“If you hadn’t said yes, I would have pleaded with you.” He reaches over, touching my hand with his fingers. “I was instantly intrigued by a girl from Texas and needed to know more about her.”
Our waitress brings drinks, a basket of various breads, and we place our orders. It’s then that he asks the question I’ve been putting aside.
“You haven’t said much about your trip home. What happened?”
I twist my bread into small pieces as it becomes real again. “I have a sister.”
He stops drinking water and sets the glass down with a confused look. “What?”
“Where do I start? My dad wrote a letter to me a while back in case he died before he could tell me. He admits to a tryst with a woman who lived in a town near where my parents lived. The woman was also married. A few months later, she broke the news that she was pregnant with his baby. She wanted to stay with her husband, raise the child as his, and have my dad relinquish all rights. But if he persisted, she would destroy his life, his marriage, and he would never see the baby. He went home to tell my mom but that afternoon at a doctor’s appointment, she was told her cancer was back. He didn’t tell her after all. After treatments for her illness, she became pregnant with her miracle baby, me.” I sit back in my chair out of breath.
“Jamie, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Things have been a little crazy since my return. But there’s more. The point of him paying tuition at Hopson, so far away from my home, is that he found out a couple years ago that she’s a student here or went here at one point. He thought by putting me in or near her I would have family and not be alone.”
“Did Ruby know?”
“Yes, but as I told her, it was not her place to tell me, so I don’t blame her. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Do I find her or just let it go?”
The waitress sets down our food, which looks delicious. We thank her, then I look at Michael who is staring at me, not the culinary masterpiece in front of him.
“I can’t tell you how to feel about what you learned, but I’m here if you need help or just want to talk.”
“Thank you. Look at me—I broke the rule of talking about issues other than us tonight.”
He gets up and walks over to me, leaning down so our faces are even. “We are a team. If we need to talk about anything, we talk. I want to be in your life, not running on the outside.” He touches my face, kissing me. “Ready to eat?”
“Yes.”
*
Our dinner was truly an authentic fantasy trip to Italy. I’m beginning to feel nervous about what might happen when we get home. Not scared or regretful, but nervous if I’ll do the right thing or be the person he has been thinking about for months. Once we get home, I set my purse down and tak
e off my coat, laying it across the sofa turning to him.
“Thank you for a delicious meal.”
“I enjoyed mine and a little of yours. But something is bothering you, what is it?”
“I… I’m nervous—are you nervous? You probably are not. What am I saying? You have been with girls intimately before, so I’m sure you are not nervous.”
He raises his hands up and cups my face. “But I am.”
“Help me understand that.”
“You woke up my heart, my way of thinking, and restored my trust. I have feelings about you that have never surfaced with anyone else. You know my past with girls, but not a single one made me feel like you do. I don’t want to mess this up either. What if I’m not what you want?”
I kiss him.
“I am thankful every day for you and who you are.” My hands rest on his chest where I play with the buttons on his shirt. “May I?”
He stands, letting me take my time. One button, then another, as I lay kisses on his bare chest, touching his skin with my fingers. He takes in a breath. I pull his shirt out of his pants, then he helps to take it off, laying it on the sofa. I’ve seen him shirtless many times before but tonight he is all mine to touch and explore. He has physical strength clearly, but he’s opening his heart to me and I want to protect him. He lets out a moan. I smile to myself, knowing I did that.
“May I unzip your dress?”
I turn, facing away from him and pull my hair to the side. He trails kisses all the way down my neck onto my shoulder while pulling at the zipper, holding the dress as I step out. I turn to face him, his eyes make me blush and I feel it all over. I wore a black lace bra with matching lace undies.
He picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist as I let out a small sound. He walks to his room with me in his arms-- a hot move I’ve read about in books, but now it’s happening to me. I lay on my back with him propped on his elbow, running his fingers across the thin fabric.
“I am going to enjoy unwrapping every layer.”
He takes his time removing each shoe or article of clothing, leaving a trail of kisses on my skin. My breathing is faster and my body is moving, aching for him. He stands up to remove the rest of his clothes and I roll over onto my stomach so I can admire him. He lowers himself onto the bed, but not before kissing the small of my back up to my shoulder. I move my arms to turn and face him as his mouth lowers to mine. He stops.
My Heart Page 12