by Railyn Stone
“An assault charge?” Sydnee asked softly. She really hoped she had heard him wrong.
“Yeah.” He added quietly. “When you catch your fiancée in bed with another man, it’s kind of hard to keep your fist from smashing the guy’s face.”
“Uh, I guess so.” Sydnee looked down at her hands and thought about it. Matt had left her for another woman. But she wasn’t sure what she would have done if she had actually caught him in bed with her. Especially in their house. She may have had an assault charge or something worse. “I can see why your mom would have reservations about us.”
“About me with any woman at this point,” Quinn added with a grimace.
“But, Quinn, you are so close to your mom. Don’t you think it’s going to be even harder for us to have a productive relationship if you couldn’t tell her about me? The last thing I want to do is come between the two of you.” Sydnee asked softly, training her eyes on him.
“Hey pot, have you met kettle?” Quinn straightened, looking at her with serious eyes. “You haven’t exactly told your mom about me either, have you?”
Realizing how big of a hypocrite she really was as soon as the words passed over his lips, Sydnee sighed. “You are right,” she replied softly, looking down at the asphalt. “If neither of us can tell our mothers about each other, what does that say for us? For this relationship?”
“I think,” he started, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently as she lifted her expressive eyes to meet his. “It means both of us really care about each other’s feelings. Syd, I don’t want to hurt you, or lose you. I only hope you can forgive me for not telling my mom about you and for not telling you everything about my past?”
“Quinn-”
“Please?” His pleas played a symphony on her heartstrings and she paused. She still felt uneasy about their future, especially now after hearing everything he had gone through, but she realized she really didn’t want to give him up either.
Lifting her hand to stroke his cheek as he leaned into her warm palm, she smiled. “Yes, I forgive you. I just don’t know where we go from here.”
“Well, I think I know a good place to start,” he grinned, and she wondered exactly what he had on his mind.
###
“Sydnee, how did you meet Quinn?” his Aunt Margo asked as Sydnee stood with one of Quinn’s cousins at the counter washing lettuce and cutting tomatoes for the salad. Quinn’s idea for a good place to start ended up being a family dinner at his Uncle Jack’s. She was as nervous as a hooker in the back pew of a southern Baptist church. She held a vice grip on his hand as they first walked into the house, but his family had allayed all of her worries, and each one seemed to welcome her with open arms. She was put to work in the kitchen with the women as the men were shooed out to set the table in the dining room.
“We actually met at the tree lot. He delivered our Christmas tree for us.” She smiled, thinking back to the first night they met and how nice he was to help her and the boys get the tree home. The response was met with smiles, laughs and a few ‘that’s Quinn,’ and she looked over to see Janae and Margo both grinning.
“Oh, yes, Jack mentioned it when it happened. I forgot all about that,” Margo added, as she went back to filling glasses with ice.
“He did us a huge favor delivering the tree even though I knew it wasn’t something the lot did.” Sydnee added.
Janae giggled and moved over to chop carrots beside her. “That’s my son. Has a heart the size of the ocean.”
“He does,” Sydnee agreed. The group of women continued to talk and chat about work and current events, and Sydnee listened to them laugh and joke about other family get-togethers and the kids as they had grown up. She learned so much about Quinn and his family and how close they all were. It was a nice atmosphere and they never made her feel unwelcome or uncomfortable at all. She was pleasantly surprised. She’d been in situations before where she was the only black person in a room full of white people and there was always the feeling either she, or they, would say something to make the other uneasy. But Quinn’s family was different and she was starting to understand more and more how he had become the man he was. During dinner, she listened to the banter between them and laughed more than she had in years.
After dinner, she found herself standing on the patio with Janae as a few of the others cleaned the kitchen. The nerves returned and she wasn’t sure how their conversation may go.
“Sydnee, I hope you enjoyed yourself.”
“I did. Thank you for having me, Ms…uh, Janae.” She paused remembering how the woman insisted she use her first name when they were officially introduced that evening. “I have to admit, I was a little nervous about coming tonight.”
“Oh?”
“Well, based off the way we first met…” Sydnee could feel the color rushing to her face as she thought about her scantily clad appearance in Quinn’s kitchen.
Janae laughed and nodded, patting Sydnee’s shoulder. “Believe me, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Contrary to what it seems like and what Quinn may tell you, I do realize he’s a grown man.”
“He said you still think of him as your little boy,” Sydnee added as they stood talking. Quinn and JJ and two of their cousins and uncle were watching a basketball game. Aunt Margo and the girls had pushed both Janae and Sydnee out of the kitchen while they cleaned up. “Janae you cooked the majority of the meal and Sydnee, you’re still a guest on your first visit,” Margo said. Sydnee grinned, feeling sure Margo wasn’t opposed to her making future visits.
“I do love him. He’s my baby. But you understand that, with two boys of your own.”
Sydnee nodded. “Yes I do. I’m sure that’s not something you are too happy about with Quinn seeing me,” she added, watching Janae closely as the woman sat in the patio swing.
“Sydnee, I’d be lying if I told you it wasn’t something I was concerned about, but not for the reasons you may be thinking.” Janae answered as Sydnee’s brows furrowed and she walked over to join the woman.
“What do you mean?”
“There are so many things I want Quinn to experience and to have. So many things I know he wants. I’m just not sure you both would want them.” Sydnee took a moment trying to figure out Janae’s cryptic response. “Sydnee, your boys are pretty important to you right?” Sydnee nodded as the thoughts of Charlie and Travis flashed in her mind.
“They are my world.”
“Exactly. When Quinn’s father and I divorced, he became the center of my universe. I know Quinn. I know one day he’s going to want a family. Want to be a dad. You already have two kids. Are you willing to have more?”
Sydnee looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. She had loved the baby stage with the twins. Their dependency on her and watching them grow and learn, but she had to admit, having to wake up in the middle of the night, diaper changes and spit up were things she didn’t miss at all. The idea of starting all over again and at an advanced age was something she had not really wanted to do. Did she? “I’m not sure.”
“Sydnee, I’m not trying to dissuade you from dating Quinn. Honestly, I think you are a wonderful person now that I’ve gotten the chance to know you. You have your head on straight and I’m glad Quinn met you and is spending time with you. But what I do worry about is Quinn getting the chance to realize his dreams. One of which is being a trainer for a pro team. I’m guessing he told you about Lexie, right?”
“He did.” The tenderness in Janae’s eyes let Sydnee know she wasn’t trying to keep her and Quinn apart. She was genuinely worried about her son and his future, and Sydnee couldn’t blame her. She would be just as protective of Charlie and Travis.
“Quinn is a go-getter and anything he does, he dedicates 110% to it. So, when his relationship with Lexie imploded, I saw him broken. A shell of the man I knew him to be. And I don’t want to see that happen to him again. He’s finally getting back to his old self.”
“Janae, I hope you know I’m not tryin
g to keep Quinn from his goals. I would never do that.” Sydnee offered and Janae nodded.
“Oh, I know. I just met you, but for some reason, I believe you. But, I want him to be happy, and I don’t want him to make choices he will regret. I’m his mom; I can’t help wanting the best for him.” Sydnee nodded and she sat silently thinking about what she wanted for her own children and how it wasn’t much different than what Janae wanted for Quinn. They both looked up hearing footsteps and Janae stood and patted Sydnee’s knee when she noticed Quinn coming out of the house. Janae winked at him and squeezed his arm as she walked into the house.
Quinn sat in the seat his mother vacated. “Didn’t mean to run her off. I’m guessing you two were talking about me? I hope all good things,” he joked, and Sydnee laughed as he wrapped his arm around her and she moved into his embrace placing her head beneath his chin.
“Oh, you have no idea,” she murmured, contemplating Janae’s comments.
###
As days passed, Sydnee mulled over the possibility of letting Quinn get to know the twins. She had thought of little else. What his mother said to her the night they had dinner, resonated in her head. The last thing she wanted to do was stand in the way of his dreams. He had told her when he first met her about wanting to have a life and a family. But she had never thought about having more kids. It had never crossed her mind. Yes, she was still able to have them, but would she want to? Following suit, like many parents of their classmates, she’d just thrown Charlie and Travis an indoor inflatable birthday party. They had exhausted themselves bouncing with their friends as they celebrated their sixth birthday. Twelve more years and she would have them safely tucked away in colleges somewhere and she would still be young enough to enjoy an empty nest. Did she really want to start all over again? She was perplexed and in all her confusion decided she needed to talk to her brother about the situation. She thought of their previous phone call as she drove home from work.
“Syd, it comes down to what you want.” Kellen’s voice resonated through the receiver. She had finally broken down and told him everything and she wanted his opinion of the whole dating situation. He told her he was happy she was dating someone, even if he was younger and a different race than she was.
“Kellen, I’m just… I don’t know, I guess I’m worried about what people will say or how they will react to us.” During the conversation, she sat on the window seat in her kitchen watching the breeze blow through the trees. She wished she could be as carefree as the leaves wafting back and forth. She had a tendency to worry about things others would just gloss over, especially her brother. But Janae had made some valid points and they kept floating through her mind. “He is a lot younger than I am.”
“Sis, it really doesn’t matter what other people think. It’s about what you think and how you feel about the relationship. If you think you can make it, then go for it.”
“You are always so black and white about everything; no pun intended.” Her brother was definitely not one to pull punches and he also wasn’t one to beat around the bush. It was either this or that. No shades of gray at all. “It’s all or nothing with you.”
“Exactly. That is exactly why I don’t want to have anything to do with that dead-beat ex of yours. I’m glad you met someone else.”
“Thanks. But, something tells me Mother may not be so supportive.” She smirked at the way Kellen didn’t hold back how he felt about Matt. He never had. Kellen did not care for her ex-husband, and once they split he made it known there was no love lost and he was glad Sydnee was rid of him.
“In the grand scheme of things, Mom just wants you and the boys to be happy and well taken care of. You know how she worries.”
“No, she wants me to do what she wants. Like when Matt first left and she wanted me to move back to Atlanta with you guys. I know you think she wants the best for me, but I’ve never done anything right in her eyes. No matter how hard I tried.” Sydnee lowered her head thinking of the various disagreements she and her mother had. They just couldn’t see eye to eye on anything.
“That’s not true, Syd, and you know it.”
“Kellen, she absolutely believes the sun rises and sets in you, but every time she comes here, I’m not doing this or that right with the boys and I should be trying harder to get Matt back so he can be in his sons’ lives.”
“She loves you, Syd.” Sydnee knew her mother’s intentions were based in love. She did want the best for her children, but she acted like they could live in some magical bubble where they would never have to interact with another race. It wasn’t possible or realistic and Sydnee could not seem to get through to her mother. Even if she wanted to live like that, Sydnee didn’t.
“I love her too, but I just don’t know if she will give Quinn a chance. He really is a good guy.” She twirled the tassel on one of the throw pillows.
“Hey, it wasn’t like you were chomping at the bit to date him at first either.” Kellen said quickly reminding her of her hesitation to date Quinn in the first place. “Look, the only way you will ever know is if you tell her about him and we get to meet him. When is that going to happen by the way?”
“I know. I just haven’t had the chance to talk to her.” She’d actually had numerous times to talk to her mother about Quinn, but shied away from each opportunity. After she ‘formally’ met his mom, she told him she would finally tell her mother about him as well. She had yet to live up to her end of the bargain.
“Bullshit. You are such a wimp.”
“Whatever. Leave me alone.” She rolled her eyes, hearing him laughing at her.
“But seriously, when do we get to meet ‘Mr. Magnificent’?”
“I don’t know. I’m still contemplating letting him meet the boys and how they may react to him, even though, technically they have met him before.”
“So, have you thought about what Matt’s going to say?”
“What do you mean?” It shocked her that Kellen would even care what Matt thought as much as she knew he hated him. “I haven’t heard from Matt in months.”
“Honestly, I could give a rat’s ass about how he will feel. But you know he’s bound to find out about you dating someone.”
Sydnee grit her teeth at the thought of her ex-husband. She hadn’t heard one peep from him. Nothing in regards to the twins’ recent birthday, or anything else. “Matt couldn’t care less about who I’m dating. It’s not like I haven’t gone out with other people, plus he’s with Cassidy, remember.”
“Don’t be so sure. This is the first one that’s been somewhat serious.”
Sitting forward, Sydnee wondered what Kellen was thinking and if Matt would really care. “What are you getting at Kellen?”
“I’m just saying you and I both know Matt. I know he’s not going to be too thrilled with a young, white guy being in his kids’ lives.” She could hear him laughing through the receiver and she knew he was thinking about the things Matt would say about Quinn being in her life.
“Matt doesn’t get to have a say so in this. He left us, remember?” She listened to Kellen continue to laugh and joke about Matt and what he would say knowing Quinn would be around his children. “And you are really enjoying this aren’t you?”
Finally ending his laughing fit and taking a deep breath, Kellen answered her questions. “I know, Syd. Believe me, you do not have to remind me. I’m just saying, he’s probably going to have something to say about it. I just want you to be prepared. And if you want to know the truth, yes, I am enjoying it. The asshole never deserved you in the first place. If this Quinn can come in and sweep you off your feet and be there for my nephews, then I’m all for it. Forget Matt.” Sydnee knew he wanted to say something harsher, but he cleaned it up for her sake.
“Whatever, I’m not going to lose any sleep over Matt and his opinions. He gave those rights up a long time ago.” They talked a little while longer, before Kellen said hello to the boys and then they hung up.
CHAPTER 11
“Tra
vis. Charlie. Come here for a second.” Sydnee called to the boys as they played in the foyer with their matchbox cars. “Come on.” After talking with her brother and meeting Quinn’s family, Sydnee finally made a decision about her relationship with Quinn and where she wanted it to go. He had continued to give her the time she needed to make a resolution about whether she would officially introduce him to her boys and now she was feeling pretty confident in her decision. The two of them had sat and talked about the various issues that could arise. Quinn had tried his best to reassure her if, and when the time came, they’d face the issues together, giving her the confidence that she was making the right choice.
“Okay, Mommy.” They both got up and ran to stand in front of her. She had them sit on the sofa as she took a seat on the coffee table. Each one of them were grinning from ear to ear. At the moment, the only thing distinguishing them was the fact Travis had lost one of his bottom teeth and she grinned at just how adorable he was.
“All right, Mommy has something to talk to you about, okay?”
“I didn’t do it,” Travis offered quickly. Usually if they were both getting talked to on the sofa, one, or both, were in trouble.
“Travis, you are not in trouble.”
“I didn’t do it either.” Charlie slowly bowed his head spinning one of the wheels on the cars he’d been playing with earlier.
“Hey, no, Charlie you aren’t in trouble either, okay? Mommy needs to talk to you about something.” Both sat quietly as Sydnee watched them. “I love you guys very, very much and you mean the absolute world to me. I know things have been a little confusing for you because Daddy hasn’t been here and I know you miss him.”
“Is Daddy coming to see us?” Travis’ head popped up and his gap tooth smile spread even further across his face. It was amazing to her he still remembered the man, much less wanted to see his dad even though Matt didn’t seem to want to see him.