by Railyn Stone
“Who, me? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he quipped innocently and if the boys weren’t there, she would have hauled off and slapped him.” All right, fellas, who wants popcorn?”
“Me! Me!” Travis was in heaven at this point and she knew he was going to be very hyper after all of the junk Matt would fill him with during the game. “Can we have candy too, Daddy?”
“Anything you want. I’ll be right back.” Matt happily descended the steps to the concession stand to buy their snacks.
Reluctantly, Sydnee reached into her purse to find her cell phone. She hated to call and cancel on Quinn but there was no alternative.
“Hello?”
“Hi.” She was dreading this. She’d been looking forward to spending time with Quinn and now Matt had completely ruined their day.
“I take it by the sound of the crowd, you’re still at the game?”
“Yes. And guess who showed up miraculously, and with a ticket no less that just happened to be beside us? And, he convinced the boys I had to stay and watch the rest of the game with them.” Sydnee pouted, watching the boys talking and giggling with each other. She felt extremely stupid. She should have known Matt was up to something when he told her to take them in.
“You’re kidding, right? Sydnee, what do you mean you have to stay? I thought this was going to be his way of spending quality time with them.” She closed her eyes at hearing the distinct sound of Quinn’s displeasure with the entire situation magnify. She could hear it in the inflection in his voice and could just about imagine his silvery eyes narrowing in frustration.
“I did too, but, Quinn, I can’t leave. Charlie is already hesitant around him. He was nearly in tears when I got ready to go. Right now he has a vice grip on my hand to keep me from going anywhere.”
“Sydnee,” Quinn groaned.
“I know. I’m sorry, but Charlie needs me.” At this point, she could only hope he would understand her situation.
“I had a feeling something like this was going to happen.” The vacant tone in his voice let her know he was not happy and she felt horrible.
“Quinn, I’m sorry.”
“Hey, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Enjoy the game.” Before she could respond, she heard nothing but silence in her ear from him hanging up.
Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, and put her phone in her purse then glanced at her two little cherubs and saw how happy they were. She couldn’t believe Matt had gotten her into this situation. She didn’t want Quinn to be mad at her, but at this point, she couldn’t trust Matt not to turn the boys against her if she left him alone with them. Once Matt returned with their popcorn and drinks, they were even more excited and if no one knew better, they actually looked like one happy little family.
###
Once the game was over, Sydnee piled the boys into her SUV and drove home. She was furious with Matt for keeping her from enjoying her day with Quinn, but she was even more disappointed in herself for letting it happen. She didn’t know exactly what Matt was up to and why he was insisting on spending time with not only the boys, but with her. He hadn’t mentioned Cassidy once during the time he was there and she couldn’t figure out what his motives were for disrupting her life.
“What a day!” She collapsed onto the sofa and sank into the cushions. The house was quiet now, she’d been able to calm the boys down from all of the candy and soda Matt had plied them with. It had taken hours to get the sugar out of their systems. Finally, both calmed down enough to get their baths and get into bed. Thankfully, they conked out once she’d gotten them into their pajamas.
She was about to drag herself to bed, when she heard a knock on the door. “Are you serious?” Pushing herself off the sofa, she trudged over and looked through the peephole before stepping back to exhale a slow and controlled breath. Her shoulders sagging, she opened the door. “Matt, what do you want?” Annoyance resonated in every word she spat out. She had had enough of him during the day and it was taking everything in her to keep from slamming the door in his face.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“I don’t feel like doing this right now.” Shaking her head, she moved to close the door.
“Syd, can I come in, just for a few minutes?”
“Matt, it’s late. I just want to go to bed. The boys are asleep-”
“Just five minutes.” Throwing up her hand, she relented and opened the door further for him to come in.
“Five minutes, and not a second more.”
“Wow, when did you get so feisty?”
“Four minutes.” Crossing her arms, she waited for him to say what he needed.
“Okay, okay. Look, I know you’re mad. Sydnee, I just wanted the chance to spend some time with you and the boys. Is that so wrong?” He looked at her with what she almost mistook for sincerity, but it was Matt, and she knew he didn’t have one sincere bone in his body.
“Matt, why trick me into being there? Why couldn’t you just be honest in the first place?”
“Would you have gone?”
“Probably not.” She turned to walk past him into the living room. She straightened the sofa cushions and folded the throw, placing it on the chair. She knew she wouldn’t have gone to spend time with Matt on purpose. Hell, she was still struggling to figure out what she had ever seen in him in the first place. He had controlled every part of their life. The plan she’d had for her life, he’d been a major player in. She met Matt during their senior year in college. He was an accounting major and tutored her in the one accounting course she couldn’t dodge. Their relationship grew from there. She pretty much gave over control of the relationship and before she knew it, they were engaged. Her mother absolutely adored him. He was smart, well put together, articulate, and everything Carroll could have ever hoped for in a future husband for Sydnee. He was a provider and as a future CPA, he was well on the way to making the money and achieving the status her mother wanted for her daughter. He was also well on the way to showing his true colors as a selfish, womanizing blowhard. At first Sydnee tried to hide it from everyone. Her mother taught her to keep family business as family business and what went on behind closed doors needed to stay there. For the first few years, she kept everything to herself. Internalizing all of the hurt and pain, until one day she broke down crying in her brother’s arms. He wanted to tear Matt apart limb from limb, but Sydnee wouldn’t allow him to say anything. She didn’t want her mother to think she couldn’t handle her life and she didn’t want to taint the image her mother had of Matt. For some reason she never wanted anyone to think badly of him, especially once the boys came. It was the craziest thing, and she wondered how she let her whole life be railroaded.
“Can you at least look at me?” He followed her into the room and she turned abruptly to face him.
“Why, Matt? Why do I need to look at you? Hell, why do I even need to listen to you? You come here out of the blue, show up unannounced and it’s like you want us all to stop our lives and throw you some kind of ticker tape parade. Oh, look everybody, Matt’s here, now we can stop the mundane things we’ve been doing and focus on Matt. It doesn’t work that way. At least, not anymore.” She was tired and right now all she wanted was to undress and curl up in her bed. It was bad enough she missed a chance to curl up in that same bed with Quinn. Now, she was through with Matt and his nonsense. At this point, all she wanted was a quiet respite to calm her nerves and try and figure out how she had sat on the sidelines of her own life for so long.
“Sydnee-”
“Matt, I am tired. I do not feel like going through this with you right now. I just want to go to sleep and try to get back to my normal life.”
“And, I am trying to give that normal life back to you. Sydnee, I need you to forgive me.” He looked at her with solemn eyes, catching her off guard. Any minute, a baby grand piano was going to fall on her head. She just knew it.
“What?”
“I need to know you forgive me. Sydnee, I’m so
rry. I know I hurt you and I’m sorry.” She nearly fell over hearing the words ‘I’m sorry’ cross his lips and she moved to steady herself by leaning against the arm of the sofa.
“Matt, I-”
“It’s crazy, but after I left, I had time to think about what I did to you. I know just saying ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t enough to fix what I did, but I need you to know how I feel. I want to make it right.” It was amazing. She could swear she was seeing and hearing things, but it truly looked and sounded like he was sincere. Matt didn’t apologize for anything, and not to anyone. Especially her. In all of the time they were together, she couldn’t remember the words ever crossing his lips. All of the affairs, and even the day he left her, the words were never uttered.
“Uh, Matt, I’m not sure what you want me to say.”
“Look, you don’t have to say anything right now. I just wanted you to know where I was coming from. I want to fix this.”
“Fix what?”
“Fix my relationship with my sons, with my parents…with you.” Sydnee stepped back. She wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly and he had to recognize the enormous amount of shock on her face. Matt wanted to work on them? Now? Why? None of this was making sense and she just needed everything to slow down. Her brain felt like it would overheat with everything swirling around in it.
“Matt, I-uh, this is a little sudden.”
“I will go as slow as you need me to, but, Syd, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I was a fool to let you go. I know that. I understand it better than anyone. Please, just give me a chance to make it up to you.” He moved closer to look in her eyes. She had always had a hard time refusing anything he said when she looked into the deep chocolate orbs he and their sons shared.
“Matt, you can’t come here and just say you’re sorry and think we can be best friends, or even go back to the way we were.” She kept her arms crossed in front of her. She didn’t want to let him in again. And she definitely didn’t want to revisit the hurt and pain he’d caused her. She was past that and it wasn’t a path she wanted to negotiate again.
“I just want a chance. Please, Syd.” He begged. Gently taking her shoulders into his hands pleading with her, “I’m begging. I’ll get down on my knees if I have to.” He released her shoulders and got down on his knees.
“Okay, stop, okay. Get up.” She shook her head, motioning for him to get up from in front of her.
“So?” He stood in front of her just as eager as Travis had been at the game knowing he was getting popcorn and candy.
“You can work on your relationship with the boys. I won’t stand in the way because you’re their father and they need a healthy relationship with you. You should work on your relationship with your parents, because everyone knows you owe it to them.”
“What about us? You and me?” His anxious eyes and eagerness made her think he was really genuine, but…
“Matt, there is no ‘us’. This,” she motioned between the two of them, “didn’t work the first time and I’m not putting myself in that position again. If I’m not mistaken, you are with Cassidy, and where is she by the way?”
“Sydnee, come on. I just want to make sure we can work on our relationship,” he urged, eluding her question concerning the young woman he left his family for.
“Matt, if you haven’t already noticed, I’m in a relationship with someone else and I have moved on. I’m in a good place and I don’t want to do this.”
“Is it serious?” Good question.
“That’s in the realm of my business and something you really don’t need to know.”
“Okay, okay, but you’ll see. I really want to do right by you.”
“Sure you do.” She was skeptical of anything he said at this point.
“I’m going to make you believe me.”
“Whatever, Matt. I’m exhausted, so you need to go.” Pushing him towards the front door, she was still having a hard time getting a handle on all he had shared. She was reeling from the idea of him wanting the two of them back together and she was just too tired and confused to contemplate it at the moment. Evidently she was more tired than she thought because she wasn’t ready for his next move.
Turning quickly, Matt grabbed her into his arms and kissed her. His firm lips pressed against hers and Sydnee pushed against his chest as he held onto her tighter. Finally, able to get some leverage she pushed him off and slapped him. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Just reminding you of what we used to have and what we can still have,” he grinned, rubbing his cheek. “Feisty. I like that,” he winked before walking out the front door.
Still furious with Matt’s display, she shut the door and locked it. She turned to lean on the wooden frame, and was startled to see the same eyes that just walked out peering up at her.
“Travis, what are you doing up?” Her anger from Matt’s kiss quickly dissipated at the sight of her son standing in his pajamas, and she went to kneel in front of the sleepy six-year old.
“I heard noises, Mommy,” he yawned, rubbing his eyes. She wondered if he’d seen his father practically maul her in the doorway. She hoped not. It was confusing enough for her and she could only imagine how difficult it would be for the little boy to understand what was going on between his parents.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. Mommy was being too loud.” She picked him up and carried him back to his room. “Wow, you’re getting too big for Mommy to carry,” she joked, putting him back in his bed, tucking him in. “Go back to sleep, okay?” She kissed him softly as his eyes closed and she turned to check on Charlie, who was sound asleep. Kissing him on the forehead too, she put his foot back under the covers and walked to the door. She looked at both of them sleeping peacefully before heading to her bedroom to try and get some sleep. She’d deal with all of this in the morning.
###
“Are you okay?” Once Sara found out what Matt had done to ruin Sydnee’s plans with Quinn, she picked the twins up to keep them occupied for a couple of hours while Sydnee and Quinn talked. What started off as a conversation, quickly escalated to them retreating to his bedroom and now they lay tangled in each other’s arms. “You have been pretty quiet.” He rubbed her bare arm, which lay across his smooth chest.
“What time is it?” Sidestepping the question, Sydnee knew she wasn’t okay. She hadn’t been okay since Matt had showed up. Her life seemed to be spinning out of control with every passing minute and she wasn’t sure which way was up. Her thoughts continued to drift back to Matt’s apology and his confession that he’d messed up and he wanted her back. How could she ignore that? Was he sincere? Did he have an ulterior motive? For the longest time, all she wanted was for her husband to love her and want to be with her and their boys. She had wanted him to come back, and even after everything that happened between them, she was more than willing to start over with him. But that was all before she met the wonderful man she was now lying next to with his powerful arms wrapped around her. Quinn made her feel loved. Made her feel wanted, and she needed that. She needed the reassurance she was the only woman he wanted. He gave her that. So why was she feeling so torn?
“It’s three-thirty, and you didn’t answer my question.” He whispered, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead and she knew he had to be sensing her apprehension.
“I’m sorry, Quinn. I’m just trying to deal with all of this.” She hadn’t told Quinn about Matt’s visit, much less about the kiss. She wanted to forget it ever happened. It was the most ironic situation for her to be in. For years, she wanted Matt to step up and come back. Then she met Quinn and he made her forget Matt. She had come a long way since the divorce. On so many occasions, she’d been weak when it came to her ex-husband. There were many times she called him, crying for him to come back so they could work on things. Or the times he’d shown up on her doorstep and she’d let him stay the night with the hopes he would change his mind and come back to her. But, the very next morning, she would awake to a cold empty space b
eside her. She’d beat herself up wondering what she had done wrong and why he didn’t love her anymore. Now she was embarrassed to think she’d ever done any of it to rekindle the spark in her marriage.
“Your ex is a piece of work.” Jarred from her thoughts, she felt her heartbeat speed up with Quinn’s mention of Matt.
“Oh, I know. I’m sorry about yesterday.” Sitting up slowly, she wrapped the sheet around her and looked into the eyes holding so much concern for her and she just felt like crying. “I wanted to spend time with you. I was looking forward to it.”
“Hey, I told you, it’s okay. I know I rushed off the phone yesterday and I was mad, but I know you couldn’t leave the boys. It’s taking some time for Charlie to be okay with Matt around, isn’t it?” Quinn rubbed her bare back as she sat with the sheet pulled around her chest.
“Yes. He’ll spend time with him, but it has to be in an environment where he feels safe. Like, I can drop him off at Charles and Leanne’s and they can do things there, but he still doesn’t want to go places with him by himself. Of course, Travis is totally different.”
“I know. He’s a little more outgoing. Charlie is just a reserved kind of kid. You can’t rush him to do things,” Quinn smiled.
“See, even you know that and you haven’t been around them that long. Matt uses it to his advantage, but you really care about the boys and you know how to approach them. They really like you a lot, and evidently, when they spend time with Matt, he gets an earful of it from them.” Sydnee cherished the thought of how quickly the boys had taken to Quinn and how he’d equally taken to them. It was great because he never made her regret letting them get to know him.
“Really?”
“Yes,” she sighed, looking over his shoulder at the clock. “I don’t want to leave, but I should get dressed. I have to pick the boys up from Sara’s. She has a date.” She slowly stood up to put on her clothes.
“I hate that you have to leave.” He stood and pulled on a pair of shorts and walked over to where she stood stepping into her shoes. “But, I understand.” Pulling her closer to him, he leaned in to nuzzle her neck. She could feel his powerful hard body against hers and she relaxed against him. For a moment all of her cares and worries dissipated and she was just in the moment, and it felt good. To let go of everything and just be with him.