Balance Great God! That damned Plume. (Calls into the courtroom) Plume!—Bridewell, send for Captain Brazen.
Jenny What’s up with the ensign?
(Plume goes into the library)
The Broad-Shouldered Man (referring to Plume who walks into the library) Looks like the captain’s nose isn’t quite clean either.
Balance (to Victoria in the library) So you’ve been pulling the wool over my eyes. Hiding a criminal love affair under the king’s uniform. Captain Plume, I know all. What have you got to say for yourself?
Plume Well, Mr. Wilful …
Balance Mr. Wilful! You persist in speaking of a Mr. Wilful to me?
Plume Yes, sir. Mr. Wilful.
Balance Mr. Wilful?
Plume Yes, Mr. Wilful and … (To Victoria) I’m surprised to see you in this uniform. Haven’t I told you explicitly that I forgo the pleasure of having you in my company?
Victoria William, we mustn’t deceive father any longer. Forgive your Victoria; at this juncture she must tell the truth. Father, we are married.
Balance Ah!
Victoria We are married in soldier fashion. We soldiers need no preacher, marriage bells, or license. Our sword is our honor. We lay it down on the ground. First the young hero jumps over it, then the amazon. The buck leaps and the whore jumps. A roll of drums and off to bed. That’s how we get married. The ceremony is brief and dignified. And now your daughter is bearing twins.
Balance This is too much!
Plume On my honor, sir …
Victoria Yes, yes, William, defend your honor and deny everything, dishonor me a second time and deal me the finishing blow by saying “There has been nothing between us.”
Plume I’m surprised at you, Victoria.
Balance Is that all you have to say?
Plume Surely you don’t believe all this?
Balance I believe it. I know my daughter.
Plume There has been nothing between us, sir.
Victoria Nothing! Do you call this nothing! You induce me to put on a uniform and charge me forty pounds for it, you lure me to America to keep me near you! Nothing?!
Balance Nothing indeed! You’ll have to get married at once!
Victoria Marry a soldier? Never! Captains are notorious for turning everything they can lay their hands on into cash. They have an inborn aversion to anything green. Sir, I own forests!
Balance Quite right. Plume, you will have to quit the service at once.
Plume That’s ridiculous.
Balance What’s ridiculous?
Plume It’s my profession, sir!
Balance Your profession! And my reputation?
Plume And my duty to England?
Balance And your duty to my daughter?
(The loud voices in the library have caught the attention of the people in the courtroom)
The Broad-Shouldered Man What’s going on in there?
Kite Shh!
Balance You have unlawfully pressed a female into service with the object of abducting her to America. I’ll give you five minutes to think it over. It’s a father’s blessing: my daughter plus twelve hundred pounds a year—hm, let’s say one thousand pounds—or the full force of the law: bread and water in a dungeon. (To Victoria) Take off those rags.
(Victoria goes out)
(Balance returns to the courtroom)
Balance (calling through the window) Mike!
The Broad-Shouldered Man (to The Unemployed Man’s Wife) Your husband had better not say he’s out of work or they’ll nab him for sure.
Unemployed Man’s Wife They’ll be in for a big surprise.
Balance (at the window) Mike! A jug of ale! (To Bridewell) Where is Captain Brazen? Next! (Sits down) Name?
Unemployed Man John Workless. Unemployed.
Balance Well, constable, what are the charges against this man?
Bridewell With your permission, sir, there are no charges against this man.
Unemployed Man’s Wife That’s right.
Balance What did you bring him here for?
Bridewell Please, Your Worship, I don’t know.
The Broad-Shouldered Man What does it say in the warrant?
Bridewell I can’t read.
Kite May it please the court. The country can spare this man, the army needs him. Besides, he’s cut out by nature to be a grenadier.
The Broad-Shouldered Man He’s chicken-breasted.
Unemployed Man Do you want a punch on the nose?
Bridewell Silence!
Kite In wrestling and boxing he’ll take on all comers. He’s the quickest man with a knife in the whole county. Every Saturday night he gets drunk and beats up his wife.
Unemployed Man’s Wife That’s a bloody lie. He’s the kindest, most considerate man in the parish. My five young ones will bear me out.
Mrs. Cobb There’s one with five kids!
Balance Tell me, my friend, how do you provide for your wife and five children?
Unemployed Man I don’t.
Unemployed Man’s Wife That’s the truth.
Kite Poaching, sir. The man has picked off every hare and partridge for five miles around. He’s got a gun.
Balance A gun! If he likes to shoot, he ought to be picking off rebels.
Mrs. Cobb A woman with five children!
Unemployed Man’s Wife Yes. That’s why they want to send my husband away. They know I get one every year and they’re afraid they’ll be a burden to the parish.
Kite Mr. Balance, this honest woman has hit the nail on the head. Won’t the township be better off taking five children under its wing now than six or seven next year? With his nutritious, stimulating diet, this man is capable of saddling you with two or three little poachers at a go.
Unemployed Man’s Wife Look here, sergeant. The parish won’t get on any better by sending my John away. As long as there’s a man left in this town, I’ll saddle you with kids.
Balance Put that woman in the workhouse! Take her away! (Bridewell leads her off) As for the husband …
Kite I’ll take care of him, Mr. Balance.
Mrs. Cobb What about the children?
Balance Clear the court! (Bridewell and the Court Attendant clear the court)
Mrs. Cobb There must be somebody we can complain to.
The Broad-Shouldered Man There is—the justice of the peace.
Jenny But he’s the one who’s sending them to the army.
The Broad-Shouldered Man That’s just it.
Balance Bridewell, call the next. (Goes off into the library)
Balance Your answer, sir?
Plume All this is unlawful, sir. You can’t do a thing to me.
Balance I’ve asked you for your answer.
Plume Now that my company is up to strength.
Balance Your answer, sir?
Plume So far I have never seen your daughter dressed in a manner that would make marriage conceivable.
Balance It’s either my daughter, or debtors’ prison.
Plume Did you say twelve hundred pounds?
Balance One thousand.
Plume Twenty-four hundred.
Balance Never.
(Returning to the courtroom, he sees Mike bringing in a jug of ale and gives him a strange look)
Balance Look here, Mike, why aren’t you in the army?
Mike I can’t go, Your Worship, I’m under eighteen.
Balance You never knew your father or mother; you grew up in the orphanage. How would you know how old you are? I decide on your age, you oaf! That’s the law. Eighteen and a half. Take his measure.
(Mike is measured and led away)
Balance All orphans are in my care. Bridewell, next!
Bridewell There aren’t any more.
Balance No more? There were twelve a minute ago.
Bridewell They’re all gone now.
Balance Usher!
Attendant Mr. Balance?
Balance I understand they’re all gone?
Attendant Please,
Your Worship, Bridewell let them go after they’d each paid him eleven shillings. As usual.
Balance (to Bridewell) You’re discharged! No, you’re not discharged, you’re being handed over to Mr. Kite. Take his measure.
Bridewell (reaches in his pocket) Just a minute, Mr. Balance. I intend to buy my discharge. I’ll go as high as two pounds.
Balance Two pounds? All you’ve got.
Bridewell All?
Balance All. On the table!—All! Including what you took from the ensign. (Bridewell pays) Excellent. Take his measure.
Bridewell But I’ve paid up, sir!
(Pearmain puts him under the measuring rod)
Bridewell (waves him aside) Five foot. (He is led away)
Balance Mr. Kite, Shrewsbury wishes to provide your new company with a flag. (Kite pockets Bridewell’s money) Now let us compare your roll with my record. (They sit down and compare lists)
(Victoria comes into the library dressed as a woman. Plume, smoking his cigar, looks at her silently)
Victoria Are you angry with me?
(Plume does not answer)
Victoria Is that all you have to say?—Since you hate me that much … I shall withdraw my charges. I don’t want to force you …
Plume (grinning) I understand.
Victoria William.
Balance (in the courtroom) Correct.—Read the Articles of War!
Kite Captain Plume will have to do that.
Balance You won’t be seeing him again. (Goes into the library)
Victoria What is it you don’t like about me, William? Is it my hair style? Is it my dress? All that can be changed.
Balance So it can.
Plume I’ve made my decision.
Victoria And Balance Yes?
(Brazen comes in, still in civilian clothes)
Brazen Mr. Laconic.
Balance Still in civilian dress?
Brazen I’m dreadfully upset. The tailor has made a child’s coat out of my uniform.
Plume (takes off his coat) Take mine, old boy.
Brazen You’re quitting?
Victoria William!
Brazen Eureka!
Balance The solution!
Brazen Is she the one? Congratulations! Hold on, I’ve seen that face before. (They toss each other their coats)
(Victoria helps Plume and Balance helps Brazen put them on)
Plume Mr. Balance, I’ve decided in favor of the twenty-four hundred pounds.
Balance Never!—Captain Brazen, read the Articles of War.
Brazen At once, sir! Who to?
Plume Haven’t you any recruits at all, man?
Brazen Not a one.
Plume Take my company.
Brazen Plume, brother, do you mean that? Where is it?
Plume In my left-hand pocket.
Brazen (pulls out a document) I’m your man forever!
(Brazen rushes into the courtroom and bellows at Kite, who in the meantime has lined up the recruits)
Brazen I shall now read the Articles of War!
Balance (in the library) And herewith I empower you as her husband to punish her as you see fit.
Victoria William!
Brazen (in the courtroom, begins to read the Articles of War) Whosoever … (Mumbles)
Plume (in the library) Sir, a town besieged by a regiment may defend itself.
Brazen (in the courtroom) … will be shot! Whosoever … (mumbles)
Plume (in the library) Faced with an army, it hands over the keys.
Brazen (in the courtroom) … will be shot! Whosoever … (mumbles)
Plume (in the library) Safe from battlefield injuries, I look resolutely forward to the prospect of gout.
Brazen (in the courtroom) … will be shot! Whosoever … (mumbles)
Plume (in the library) To your love, Victoria, I sacrifice my ambition.
Brazen (in the courtroom) … will be shot!
Plume (in the library) More glorious to be defeated by your charms than to conquer all America.
Victoria William!
Brazen (in the courtroom) In short: all will be shot. Everybody about turn—quick march! (Led by Brazen, the recruits leave)
(Outside, the round of drums and marching feet)
(Simpkins enters the library)
Simpkins That’s the recruits from Welshpool. Shrewsbury is trailing behind!
Balance (shouts at him) Pull yourself together, Simpkins. And fetch the champagne.
(Simpkins goes out)
Lucy (who has meanwhile rushed into the library through the courtroom) Mr. Balance! (She pulls him back into the courtroom) They’re taking my Mike.
Balance England needs him.
Lucy What about me?
Balance What about you?
Lucy I need him too.
Balance Get the boy out of your head, he’s going to be a grenadier.
Lucy Mike W. Laughton has other plans, sir, and if you don’t set him free
Balance What then?
Lucy Then everybody is going to find out who gets to be an ensign around here.
Balance Lucy!
Lucy Mr. Balance …
Balance Usher, bring back the potboy. (Court Attendant brings back Mike. Kite follows)
Kite What about this man, Mr. Balance?
Balance For the last time: how old are you, Mike?
Mike I think I’m seventeen, Your Worship.
Balance Do you think you can drag off children to America, sergeant? The boy is only seventeen. This is an outrage! Discharge him at once.
Lucy The uniform will be handed in, (She helps Mike take off the coat. Assisted by Lucy, Mike totters over to the bench. Lucy hands Kite the coat)
Kite Please, Mr. Balance! Now we’re short another man!
Balance We almost forgot this one. (To the attendant) How much did you get from that rogue Bridewell? Shut your mouth! Enlist him in the company!
Kite Thank you, Mr. Balance. (He hands the uniform to the Court Attendant ; both leave)
(Worthy comes in)
Worthy Thank you, Mr. Balance. Where’s Melinda?
Melinda (rushes into the library) Here!
Worthy (also rushing into the library) Melinda!
Melinda Albert! (They embrace)
(Lady Prude arrives with Mr. Smuggler, the banker)
Prude My respects, Mr. Balance. A historical day for Shrewsbury!
Smuggler England’s on the march again. I take my hat off to you, Mr. Balance.
(All have gathered in the courtroom. Simpkins has brought in champagne and glasses. From outside the departing recruits are heard singing a soldier’s song)
Recruits
Come on Johnny, take your gear
In Virginia you won’t hear
Children’s screams or woman’s plea
Over the hills and over the sea.
Balance (lifts his glass) To good old England!
Mike (to Lucy , aside) To a new one, a better one!
Smuggler Long live English liberty, at home and overseas.
Lucy (aside to Mike) To us.
Prude Prosperity to our colonies over the sea!
Mike (aside to Lucy) May they be free!
Simpkins Let God prevail!
(A cork pops)
Recruits
Our King George is older now
Care and worry crease his brow
His empire’s gone for a cup of tea
Over the hills and over the sea.
Brazen (calls up from the street) Mr. Laconic, your servant and so forth.—Good day, Mr. Smuggler. (To Plume) Congratulations on a fine catch, Plume.
Berliner Ensemble Adaptations Page 36