by Julie Miller
Katie melted into his strength. Tears were forgotten as she surrendered to the shelter of his arms and the forthright desire in his kiss. Each tentative foray between them was welcomed, rewarded. Surrounded by Trent’s arms and body, cogent thought turning to goo by a sudden craving for his lips on hers, Katie felt her fears and a lifetime of worry and regret slipping away until there was only a man and a woman, and Trent’s heat chasing away the chill of the long night. Such strength. Such gentleness. Such patient seduction. The mother in her went away. The weariness diminished. The loneliness disappeared.
Katie had been kissed before. She’d been kissed by Trent. But he’d been a teenage boy then. She’d been little more than a girl herself. This Trent was all grown man, with hard angles and knowledgeable hands. Her breasts grew heavy and pebbled at the tips, rubbing in frustrated need against the layers of clothing between them. His fingers tugged at the hem of her sweater and blouse, then slipped beneath to sear her skin. He palmed the small of her back, dipped his fingertips beneath the waistband of her jeans and panties to brand the curve of her hip. Denim rasped against denim as he adjusted her between his strong thighs and bulging zipper, stirring an answering need deep within her. This was a different kiss. A deeper kiss. It was a kiss that sneaked around her defenses and made her forget that she was anything other than a woman who hadn’t been kissed or held for a very long time.
She reveled in his strength. The passion arcing between them jump-started her pulse and refueled her energy. His raw desire renewed her own confidence and strength. She needed this. She needed Trent.
“Katie,” he gasped against her mouth. Her lips chased his to reclaim the connection. This wasn’t the time for talking. She heard the deep-pitched chuckle in his throat even as he nipped at the swell of her bottom lip. “Sunshine. The counter’s digging into my back. Can’t we find someplace a little more comfortable?”
A woman is damn well gonna know when I intend my kiss to mean something more.
Her fingers stilled in the tangle of his hair. This wasn’t right. Trent Dixon wasn’t supposed to be so all-fired manly and irresistible. She wasn’t supposed to want him like this. Katie turned her mouth from the sting of his lips and a kiss brushed across her cheek instead. She brought her hands down to brace them against his shoulders and put a little space between them. Her nerve endings seemed to be short-circuiting. She slid down his body until her toes touched the floor, but she wasn’t sure her legs would hold her upright. There were reasons a kiss like this had never happened between them before. She’d forgotten what was important. She’d forgotten Tyler.
She’d forgotten the threats.
Katie needed the cop. She needed the friend. She couldn’t afford to lose either one from her life right now.
Finally coming to her senses, Katie blinked his grinning mouth into focus and shoved at Trent’s chest. “What was that?”
She would have staggered away if his hands hadn’t settled at either side of her waist to steady her. “Maybe it’s the way things should be between us.”
“No.” Her hands dropped to the bulk of his biceps and pushed again. “I’m not going to make any more mistakes.”
Trent’s grip on her tightened, as if sensing her instinct to bolt. “Where’s the mistake, Katie? I know you have feelings for me. And I’ve never made any secret—”
“I care about you, Trent. But I’m not—”
“In love with me.” What was left of his smile disappeared. He set her away from him and reached down to snatch his coat off the floor. He towered over her when he stood. The drowsy timbre of his voice hardened like his posture. “Trust me, I know the difference.” She hugged her arms around her waist and stepped out of the way as he shot his arms into the sleeves and shrugged the coat over his shoulders. “That wasn’t the kiss of a woman who only cares about a friend. Deny it all you want, but there’s something between us.”
“Don’t do this, Trent. Please. Not now. I don’t want to fight.”
“This is an adult discussion, not a fight. Maybe I’ve been reading you wrong all these years, thinking you were just too scared, too wounded to trust anyone completely—that you just needed time to heal. Maybe patience doesn’t pay off.” He stalked across the kitchen and foyer to the front door.
Katie followed, hating that he saw her like that, like some kind of small, wounded bird. “I don’t need you reading me at all. I just need you to leave before I say something I’ll regret.”
He halted with his hand on the knob and spun around, startling her back a step. “What would you regret, sunshine? You regret having my help tonight?”
“No.”
He leaned in closer. “You regret kissing me?”
“Like that, I do. Yes.” Katie put up a hand to ward off his advance and planted her feet. “I regret being impulsive.”
Trent walked right into the palm of her hand, forcing a connection between them. When she would have pulled away, he caught her hand against his chest. He reached out to brush her hair off her face, his callused fingertips stroking her skin as he smoothed the wayward waves behind her ear. “That’s one of the things I’ve always liked about you. You may be a brainy chick, but you always follow your heart.” He laughed, but there was no humor there. “Except with me.”
Katie tugged her hand free and backed away from the taunt she felt in his touch. “I can’t afford the luxury of being impetuous anymore. I’m not the same person I was when I was seventeen and I thought I could save the world. I can’t afford to be. Not with Tyler in the picture.” She crossed to the table and picked up the remains of Tyler’s lunch and carried it around the island to stuff it into the trash. “You know how many mistakes that’s gotten me into in the past. It’s what got me kidnapped by Roberta Hays and Craig Fairfax. It’s what got Whitney killed.”
“Caring about people isn’t why you and Whitney—”
“If someone is targeting me for a reason we haven’t figured out yet, then it’s all the more important that I keep my head about me and not lose my focus and put Tyler at any kind of risk.”
“I would never hurt Tyler. I love him—you know that.”
“Yes, and he loves you, too.” Funny, the big brute didn’t look one bit smaller or any less irritated with her with the quartz counter and width of the kitchen between them. She gripped her own edge of the counter and willed him to understand why she couldn’t handle another kiss like that. “What if you and I try to be a couple and it doesn’t work out? Other than Uncle Dwight, who’s like a grandfather to him, you’re the closest thing Tyler has to a dad.”
“A dad?”
“You know you’re a natural at it. You’re that perfect mix of buddy-buddy and making sure the rules get followed. You make him feel safe. And I know what it’s like to be a child who doesn’t feel safe. I won’t put him through that.” She blanked her mind to the memories of her father’s violent rages against her mother before the remembered fear and helplessness could latch on and draw her back to the past. “If you and I take a stab at a serious relationship and it doesn’t work out, then it’s going to ruin our friendship and you won’t be part of our lives anymore. If that happened, Tyler would be crushed. So would I.”
“Why are you so sure we wouldn’t work?” Trent crossed to his side of the island. “How do you know?”
“Because I screw things up, Trent.” There. He knew that about her, but he’d forced her to say it, anyway. He straightened at the bald statement, his quiet rigidity sucking the charged energy from the room. It was a clever trick she’d seen him use in an interview room, creating an uncomfortable silence that a person felt compelled to fill with an explanation. “It’s my fault Mom died. And because I failed her, I thought I could redeem myself by saving Whitney. I jeopardized the life of my own unborn child to help a friend, and she ended up dead, anyway. I nearly did, too.” Katie raised her hands in a supp
licating gesture. “I can live with my guilt and grief. I might even be able to handle a broken heart if I had to. But that’s me. I would never ask Tyler to pay for my mistakes.”
His eyes darkened like the shadows of the dimly lit room. “And you think you and me would be a mistake?”
“I can’t afford to find out.” Her arms flew out as the depth of her concerns pushed aside reason. “Get mad. Storm out of here. I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be, but please... Think about where I’m coming from and try to understand. I need you to be my friend, Trent. I need you to be the rock in my life you always have been. Tyler needs that, too.”
He nodded, as if finally seeing her point. But the man wasn’t an interrogator for nothing. He set down his gloves and stepped back from the counter to zip his coat. “What if it did work out between us? What if you’re robbing us of the chance to be happy—to be a family? I could be a real father to Tyler. And you know I’d be a damn sight better husband to you than your father was to your mom.”
Katie carefully considered her answer. She had no doubt that Trent would make a wonderful parent to her son or any other child. And that kiss? She circled the counter and crossed to the door to throw open the dead bolt and usher him out before those lingering frissons of desire could catch hold again. Common sense had to prevail. She had to make the right choices this time.
“One thing about us, Trent, is that we’ve always been honest with each other. Screwing up relationships is all I’ve ever done. And I don’t want to fail at us. It would hurt too much. I forgot myself tonight. I was afraid and you were there for me. But I have to think about the future. I’d never want to mislead you, and I would never forgive myself if Tyler got hurt.”
“You’re asking a hell of a lot from me.”
“I know. And it isn’t fair. But maybe if we never give in, if we never start...”
She splayed her fingers on the closed door in front of her, feeling as though she’d been caught in a trap of her own making. They already had given in. The mistake had already been made with that little make-out session. Maybe the hurt was inevitable.
“You aren’t a screwup, Katie Lee Rinaldi.” She felt the heat of Trent’s body behind her. “I’m not storming out of here in a temper, I’m not going to abandon you and Tyler when you need me, and I’m sure as hell not going to hit you.”
“I know you would never—”
“For what it’s worth, your mother’s murder wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was.” She spun around, seeing nothing but a wall of dark gray coat. The grit of unshed tears rubbed at her eyes. She hadn’t blanked the memories, after all. It had been cold that night, too. There’d been so much yelling, so much pain. So much blood. “If I hadn’t skipped my curfew that night, Mom wouldn’t have been out looking for me. I was the reason Joe got so mad, the reason he blamed her. And when he slapped me and she said that she’d had enough and we were going to leave him—”
A large hand palmed the nape of her neck, lifting her onto her toes. Then Trent’s mouth was on hers again. This kiss was hard and quick, a forceful stamp that drove away the nightmare. His face hovered near hers when he pulled away, and Katie couldn’t look away from those dark gray eyes. “Your father was a bully and a bastard, and I’m only sorry that there was no one to stop him from hurting you and your mother back then. But it was not your fault.”
“Trent—”
He pressed a thumb to her lips to silence any further discussion. “Not a screwup,” he repeated before nudging her to one side and pulling open the door. Maybe as stunned by his unflinching support as she was by the power of that kiss, Katie hugged her arms around herself, trying to hold on to the warmth he’d instilled in her while he tugged on his cap and gloves. “I have to go home and let the dog out. Lock up behind me. Try to get some sleep. I’m going to put you to work on some research in the morning. In the meantime, I’ll make sure someone’s watching the building through the night.”
“Have I scared you off with my neurotic fruitcakeiness?”
“You won’t get rid of me that easily, sunshine.” He stepped out into the hallway. There was a trace of the familiar grin she’d grown up with when he glanced back over his shoulder. “Who’d have thought you’d be the one to come up with so many rules? But I’ll follow them. For now. You and Tyler will be safe.”
The door closed behind him and she threw the dead bolt. But she sagged against the painted white steel when the full promise of Trent’s words registered.
For now.
What happened when her by-the-book cop stopped following the rules she’d set down for their relationship? If Trent’s patience ran out and he finally started pursuing her in earnest, how would she be able to resist the security and comfort he offered? Where would she get the strength to turn away from that simmering attraction that had bubbled to the surface tonight?
Katie pushed away to turn off the light and head back to her bedroom. She desperately needed some rest so she could be 100 percent in the morning when she saw Trent again—so she could keep their relationship at the normal she needed. If those anonymous threats didn’t break her resolve to remain alone and avoid the temporary security of a relationship that was doomed to fail, Trent Dixon’s seductive, unflinching determination would.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“Come on, Padre.” Trent downed the last of the tepid coffee and set the thermal mug in the console between him and the dog curled up in the passenger seat of his pickup. “Are your muscles getting as stiff as mine?”
Well, curled up was a relative term. The moment Trent pulled his attention from the sun rising dimly on the horizon behind Katie’s apartment building and spoke to the dog, the former Stinky McPooch leaped to his feet and straddled the center console to rest his neatly trimmed front paws on Trent’s thigh. The dog’s excited posture and wagging tail diffused the weariness permeating every bone in Trent’s body. “You’re hungry for some action, aren’t you, pal?”
An eager slurp across the scruff of Trent’s jaw indicated an affirmative answer. With a laugh, he reached over to attach the new leash to Padre’s harness, which peeked through the bright red Kansas City Chiefs sweater he’d gotten to keep the dog warm and to make him an easy target to spot when the mutt dug into the snow he seemed to love so much. “All right, all right, I’m moving.”
Padre was in his lap, ready to leap outside into the street, before Trent could turn off the engine he’d been running for the heater and pocket the keys. A slap of cold air and a brisk walk would do him some good, too, after sitting outside Katie’s building for most of the night. Olivia Watson and her fiancé, Gabe Knight, had voluntarily ended their date early the evening before to stand watch while Trent went home to shower and try to get some shut-eye. But he’d only lasted a couple hours before coming back to send Liv and Gabe on their way and watch over the Rinaldis himself. There was already more distance than he wanted between him and Katie, and though she was leery of taking any emotional risks and doubtful of her ability to make a relationship work, he had no doubt about what was in his heart. He wasn’t going to let any harm come to the woman and child he loved. They were his to protect, even if they never got the chance to become the family he wanted them to be.
“All right, boy.” He scratched Padre around the ears and looked into the dog’s dark brown eyes, imagining he could talk more sense into him than he’d been able to with Katie last night. “Now mind your manners on the leash. Let’s go.”
Leading the dog to the sidewalk while he locked up the truck, Trent scanned up and down the block. Although it had been a relatively quiet night, there was plenty of activity this morning, with folks in the neighborhood out shoveling snow or sweeping the blowing flakes off their vehicles and warming up cars as they got ready to head to work or school. He wasn’t the only brave soul out walking a pet, either, and there was even one diehard o
ut for a morning jog who’d already worked up enough exertion to mask his face with a cloud of warm breath.
Trent negotiated a silent compromise with Padre by agreeing to walk faster if the dog stopped tugging on the leash. Besides working the kinks from his muscles after sitting in the truck for so long, Trent figured he could kill two birds with one stone, letting the dog manage his business while he scouted the perimeter of Katie’s three-story building along with other buildings and patrons of the neighborhood.
While Padre snuffled through the snowdrifts, Trent took note of faces and locations and whether or not anyone was more interested than they should be in anybody else. On the way back, he located the windows to Katie and Tyler’s apartment. Behind the curtains and blinds, the lights were on in the rooms he knew to be her bedroom and the kitchen. He slowed his pace when he saw the shadow moving at the kitchen sink and imagined what she might be doing in there. He wondered if she’d gotten any more sleep than he had.
When they’d kissed last night, Katie had given him a little taste of heaven. She’d forgotten the rules, lowered her defenses and clung to him with an abandon that was even hotter and more reality shifting than he’d imagined it would be between them. But then that brain of hers had to kick in. She’d gotten spooked by the possibility of their relationship deepening into something more, and she’d backed off all the way into her violent and unpredictable past. After all this time, Katie still didn’t believe in him enough to trust that he’d be there to catch her when she stumbled. He believed in the two of them together enough for the both of them. But she wouldn’t let it happen. She blamed herself for screwing up before there was anything between them to destroy.