by JD Nixon
Heller let himself into my flat after a token knock, plonked heavily onto the lounge beside me and heaved a huge sigh.
“Busy day?” I enquired sympathetically.
“Very busy couple of days. And I had to somehow fit in the rescue of an attractively dressed staff member as well.”
“Who rescued herself,” I reminded him.
He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “What a clever woman you are, Matilda.” I leaned against him and he put his arm around me.
“I didn’t even use any capsicum spray either.” He laughed. I looked up at him. “The wives wanted to know if I’m having relations with you.”
He laughed again in surprise. “Depends what you mean by relations.”
I glanced away. “Your men think we are. Sleeping together, I mean.”
“No, they don’t. Why would they?”
“I overheard some of them calling me your little fuck-buddy.”
He was immediately angry. “Who said that?”
As if I was going to tell him. They were my colleagues, and I’m not someone who goes running to the boss telling tales. “What’s the point in knowing? It’s my problem, not yours. They probably think you’re a legend. Anyway, you can’t change what people think.”
“I can,” he said grimly. I was pretty sure that I didn’t want to know how he could, so I tried to lighten up the conversation again.
“I told the wives that we weren’t having relations. Because you’re my boss.”
“I’m happy to change the status of that at any time.”
“What?” I said, deliberately misunderstanding. “You don’t want to be my boss anymore? Are you firing me?”
“No, my sweet. That wasn’t what I meant, as you well know.” He kissed my forehead and stood up to leave, stretching. He glanced down, noticing the bruising on my thighs that was visible in my boxing shorts pyjamas. I hadn’t planned on mentioning what the Pastor had tried to do to me to anyone, but I hadn’t been expecting visitors, otherwise I would have covered up until the bruises had faded. His face hardened. “Matilda? How did you get those bruises? Did something happen when those men kidnapped you that you haven’t told me about?”
I was ashamed to tell him, secretly feeling that I had brought it on myself somehow with my clothes or my behaviour, even though I knew that wasn’t true and I shouldn’t think like that. I knew that rape was a power act, a dominance act, a hate act, not a sex act, and the Pastor couldn’t stand to have a woman around him who wasn’t subjected to his control over her body and her behaviour. Nevertheless, I couldn’t face Heller and spoke down to the floor.
“No, it wasn’t Alan and Jonno. They’re nice guys. It was that Pastor. He tried to force himself on me this morning. He said I was a temptation sent by God and that he had to conquer my sinfulness. It was such a frightening experience. I lost control of the situation for a while. I always thought I’d be able to fight back if someone attacked me like that. It was terrifying to be overpowered so quickly and to feel so helpless. He almost raped me! I was lucky I caught a break and was able to fight him off in time.”
He stood as still as a statue, fists clenched, his face forbidding. His whole body was coiled tight with incredible anger.
“They’re on the plane back to the States, Heller. He’s gone. And in a lot of agony too, I hope. I gave him a lot of pain to remember me by. There’s nothing you can do about it now.”
His voice was harsh. “Why didn’t you call me? I would have dealt with him.”
“I know and I thought about it. I thought about ringing the police too.”
“Never ring the police about my business, Matilda,” he rebuked instantly, in a voice that warned me that he was not joking. “Always ring me or Clive and nobody else. We’ll decide if the police need to be involved.”
I thought about that for a moment and nodded to show that I’d heard and understood, although it worried me. I realised that he’d had an unpleasant experience with Brian, but I’d come from a middle-class background where I’d grown up thinking of the police as people to trust and the ones to turn to in times of trouble. I’d never really met anyone before who had such an ingrained distrust of them and I wondered if Heller ever took on assignments that weren’t quite . . . legal.
Pushing those concerns to one corner of my mind for now, I realised that he was watching me closely as if trying to read my mind, so I pressed on with my story. “Relax, I didn’t ring them. Instead, I decided on a different plan of revenge, one that I think will have longer-term repercussions for him than you beating the crap out of him.” And I told him in detail about what had happened and what I had done. He smiled grimly when I mentioned the half-arsed marriage proposal, but didn’t interrupt. “Is this going to keep happening?” I jumped up in sudden agitation and started pacing around the living room.
“What?”
I stopped pacing and turned to look at him. “I’ve only been working here a few months, and twice already men have tried . . .” I took a deep, shuddery breath, “have tried to assault me. That’s not going to happen with every job I do, is it? Because I can’t handle that, Heller. It’s such a frightening experience to go through.” And I had to sit down again, my legs trembling, the day’s events finally catching up with me.
He sat down next to me again and took my hand gently in his. “I don’t know. I hope not. This line of work can be dangerous and we’re frequently dealing with people who don’t believe that laws and social rules apply to them, because they’re rich or famous. You’re an attractive young woman, Matilda, and you’re going to draw the attention of a lot of men.” He smiled at me in an appealingly self-deprecating way when he said that. “Some of them aren’t going to be decent or reasonable. Some of them aren’t going to care if they hurt others as long as they get what they want. And sometimes what they want might be you. If you’re very concerned about your safety, perhaps you shouldn’t get your licence? Maybe stay with the softer client work instead? I didn’t hire you for this kind of work anyway.”
I didn’t want him to think I was a wimp. “No, I want to get my licence. I want to be a security officer. But keep me away from the perverts.”
He smiled again, regretful. “I’ll try, but they’re not always easy to spot. You’re an intelligent and resourceful person but I worry about you a lot, Matilda. There’s something about you that attracts trouble. I’m going to book you into those courses straight away. I’d feel better knowing you had some good training in self-defence. And I’m going to have to watch you even more closely from now on.”
“You don’t need to do that. You don’t do it for any of the other staff. I can look after myself. Haven’t I proven that? I bet you don’t ring any of the men ten times a day to check on them.” I was becoming seriously annoyed with him, so he cleverly changed the subject in a very effective way.
“That’s quite bad bruising,” he said, looking down and gently running his fingers over my thighs. I bit off my moan of pleasure. “Do you want me to kiss it better?”
I thought for a second about Heller’s head down in my lap, his lips on my thighs. Oh God! What a temptation. But no! I stood up so quickly I felt dizzy.
“I’mreallytiredgottagotobednow,” I shot out rapidly in one word, ushering him to the door with indecent haste. He turned at the door and smiled down at me in such a knowing, arrogant way that I was glad I had sent him packing.
The next day I at last plucked up my courage and rang Will. He was flatteringly pleased to hear from me and promptly suggested that we meet for coffee that afternoon. I agreed and we arranged to meet at a cafe in the city after school had finished. I managed to cadge a lift with a couple of the security guys who were going off to a job, but arrived far too early and whiled away the time with some idle window shopping. It was something I’d done a lot of when I was ‘between jobs’ and as I gazed at the luxurious goods displayed enticingly in the window of a smart boutique, I realised with a shock that I was now flush enough to buy those
things right then if I wanted. It was a great feeling.
After forty minutes of time-wasting, it was respectably close to our meeting time and I walked briskly to the cafe. I spotted Will already sitting in a booth, looking as nervous as I felt, his curly brown hair as wild as I remembered. He stood up when I approached and we kissed each other on the cheek in an awkward, self-conscious way. We ordered our coffees and hesitantly conversed. It wasn’t long though before the comfortableness we felt together the other night returned and we were chatting and laughing with ease.
“You look so different today than you did the other night,” he commented at one point, his chin on his hand. I liked the way he gazed at me, his soft brown eyes showing his strong interest. “You looked incredible that night, very sultry. But today you look so sweet, angelic almost. Like a different person altogether.”
“I’m two personalities for the price of one,” I joked lightly.
“I’m having trouble deciding which one I like more,” he smiled. He had a lovely smile.
We had long finished our coffees and he suggested we take a stroll around the city’s botanical gardens. Somewhere in the rose garden, he captured my hand in his and smiled at me, and we held hands for the rest of our walk. We talked about everything and found similar preferences in music, movies and books.
“I must have had you on my mind too much lately, Tilly,” Will confessed. “Because I could have sworn I saw a photo of you in the paper the other day.”
“Oh. Really?” I spluttered, not sure what to say. I wasn’t going to own up to that.
“I know it wasn’t you though,” he laughed. “Not unless you’re secretly part of a polygamous family from the US?”
“Not the last time I checked,” I answered vaguely and hurriedly moved him on to another topic.
Time flew by until reluctantly I told him that I had to leave to catch my lift back home. He seemed gratifyingly disappointed and walked me to the security team who were giving me the lift.
Two Heller’s man-mountains were lounging against the black 4WD in their uniforms, arms crossed, waiting patiently for me. They looked on impassively as Will, disconcerted by their size and indiscreet scrutiny, gave me a rushed but sweet kiss goodbye, making me promise to ring him again very soon. I had hesitated to give him my mobile number and he had been slightly hurt, but hadn’t pressed me. He was understandably curious about the men, but again was too considerate or polite to question me further. No doubt it would arise in the future. The future? Guess I’d already decided that I was going to see him again.
“Had a good time, Miss?” asked one of the men, in what I thought sound a disapproving tone. He’s probably one of those who think I’m Heller’s woman, I thought sourly.
“Yes, I did,” I replied sharply, sinking down into the backseat. “He’s a really lovely person.” The driver glanced at me in the rearview mirror. Another disapproving look? I checked my phone. Two missed calls from Heller. I didn’t feel like ringing him back, remembering that smug smile the previous night.
“Has the Boss met him yet?” Was that said just a bit too casually?
“No, but he knows about him.” I didn’t want to risk any misguided vigilante action against Will by some Heller loyalist on steroids who thought ‘Heller’s woman’ was doing him wrong. Another look in the rearview mirror from the driver.
Piss off, neanderthal! I thought savagely, glancing away. I couldn’t even have an innocent date with a charming man without Heller’s minions spying on me. I made sure I thanked them very politely for the lift though when we arrived back at the Warehouse. No point antagonising gigantic strong men unnecessarily, especially when I knew that they would be on the phone to Heller immediately, relaying every detail of what they had witnessed. I stomped up to my flat and had barely opened the door when my mobile rang.
“Hello?” I said grumpily, expecting it to be Heller again.
“Tilly love, it’s Kristo.”
I almost said ‘Who?’ before I remembered my useless, nicotine-addicted agent. Scrub that – former agent. I hadn’t thought about him for months.
“Kristo! What a surprise. What’s up?”
“I have the best news you’ve ever heard! Summer Days wants to revive your character! For a year-long contract! Apparently they’ve never had so much hate mail as when you were on and the forums went crazy about you. Ratings were up twenty per cent when your character was in the show. The country loved to hate you. Aren’t you excited?”
“Wow Kristo, I don’t know what to say. You’ve really caught me by surprise,” I said honestly. “But, didn’t you dump me as a client?”
“Tilly, Tilly, my sweet love Tilly,” he chuckled amiably. “That was just my little joke. You know that. I’m always joking with my most valued clients. But seriously, isn’t this wonderful news? I always knew you deserved this. I worked hard to get you this, Tilly.”
I rolled my eyes and made a wanking gesture with my spare hand. “I know you did, Kristo, and I know you’ll understand when I say I need some time to sleep on it.”
“What the fuck? Just say yes. It’s what you’ve always wanted.”
“Once upon a time. But I’ve got a new job since then that I really love and I need to think things through. It’s a big decision for me.”
“You’ve hardly been in your new job for a minute. What’s to think about? This is your big break. Think about the publicity, the magazine features, TV show guest spots, product endorsements, red carpets, the lot. Dancing with the Stars! Maybe even a singing career.” I snorted quietly. I couldn’t hold a tune to save my life. Not that that has ever stopped any of the others.
“Thanks Kristo. I’ll ring you tomorrow, I promise.”
“I can’t believe you’re not saying yes right now, Tilly. I’ve never understood you. Never mind. Ring me tomorrow. But remember, these people won’t wait forever.” And with that vague threat and the dream of dollar signs fading from his eyes, he hung up.
There was a soft knock on my door. I opened it and Niq stood there, looking up forlornly through his eyeliner.
“What’s up, sweetie?” I asked, concerned.
“I looked for you before but you weren’t here. I wanted to make you a cake to welcome you home again, but it’s gone all wrong. Daniel and I have tried to fix it but it got worse. Can you help?”
I laughed out loud and ruffled his hair, spoiling his hairstyle. I went into Daniel’s flat and there was smoke pouring out of his oven.
“Shit!” I shouted. “You’re going to burn the place down!” I grabbed the oven mitts and rescued the cake from the oven, smoke billowing from it. I threw it in the sink and poured tap water over it, turning it into a sludgy, blackened mess, then switched the oven off. I ignored the boys’ groaning about me ruining their cake and ordered them to open all the windows immediately before the smoke alarms went off.
The smoke eventually cleared and we stood mournfully examining the remains of the cake.
I grinned at them. “You were preparing burnt offerings for your goddess?”
“It was a banana cake,” Daniel said sadly, viewing the mess in the sink.
“What temperature did you have it on?” I asked, dreading the answer.
Niq sighed. “Well, the recipe said 180 degrees for forty-five minutes, but we didn’t have forty-five minutes, we only had fifteen minutes so we thought we should turn the oven up to 500 degrees instead. Then we started watching a movie and kind of forgot about it.”
My lips started trembling and I looked away, but it was no use. The laughter burst out of me and I stood before them both, hands on my hips, laughing hard enough to make myself cry. And I’m ashamed to say that the distressed looks on their faces only made me laugh even harder. They weren’t impressed with my levity.
“Where were you anyway? If you had been here none of this would have happened!” Niq shouted tremulously. My humour dried up immediately. Teenage hormones were on the rampage again. He sounded very upset, on the edge of tears.
>
“Niq honey, I was on a date. With a really nice man named Will. He’s a science teacher.”
“I don’t care! I hate him!”
“You don’t know him. If you met him, you would like him. He is very kind and very nice.”
“You’re going to leave us, aren’t you? You’re going to go away with this man and forget about us.”
“Niq, no! I’m not going anywhere. Just because I had one date with a man doesn’t mean I’m going away with him. I’m not going anywhere.” I wrapped my arms around him and did just what Heller had done with me that night on the roof-top. I held him tightly until he stopped struggling and relaxed against me, sniffing his misery. I stroked his back gently until he seemed very calm and his sniffles subsided. I kissed him on the forehead and let him go, lifting up his chin.
“Now you’re looking scary with your makeup running everywhere,” I teased with gentle affection. “Let’s go to the bathroom and clean it off.” He agreed and flinging a look of despair at Daniel, I followed Niq into the bathroom. He perched on the edge of the bath and I wiped away his smeared eyeliner.
“Did you mean it when you said you’re not going to leave? Even though you’ve met this really nice guy?” I nodded, but with a heavy heart, feeling the weight of his expectations. “Is he nicer than Heller?”
I laughed faintly. “Nice isn’t really a word I’d use to describe Heller, Niq. And I’m sure that he’d agree with that. But I do like Will, and maybe you could meet him one day and make up your own mind about him?”
He nodded in appreciation for the adult way I was treating him. “I guess that would be fair,” he agreed. We went back to the kitchen where Daniel had cleaned up very neatly, removing all traces of the offending cake. I smiled my gratitude.