by Auryn Hadley
"No, you're lucky for that. A lot of good men have been lost in the last year or so, now that Terric is pushing on us. But I'm sure you don't want to listen to me dwell on tactics and treaties."
"It's better than marriages and merchanting, like my mother does!" she replied, trying to lighten the tone.
"Marriages, huh? So I suppose that means you're a single lady traveling across the Conglomerate alone?" His tone was a little too casual.
"I'm supposed to be getting it out of my system. I spent a week in Prin – shopping, I'm embarrassed to say – and all I've learned from it is that I don't seem to like most of the people I've met." She shrugged. "I don't know what that says about me, but there you have it. I feel lost with myself right now, and spending a few days in a working military post sounded like the best offer I'd had all month."
"And has it been worth it?"
"Yeah, I managed to fall into the lap of the nicest man I've met so far." Sal was shocked to realize she meant it.
He'd always been friendly to her, but also impersonal. Now that she knew why they needed a replacement, that distance made more sense. Her mission grew less important while she learned more about Blaec. The loss of his man weighed heavily, and he carried guilt for a fight they had. The third in command had disagreed with the Lieutenant's orders, but those orders had resulted in his death, thanks to the incompetence of another unit. Blaec thought that if he'd only listened, the man would still be alive.
"You can't know that," she pointed out. "Even I know how hard this war has been."
Blaec shrugged. "It's just that we've lost so few over the years, and most of those were green recruits." He waved that away. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to dwell on the past."
"It's human nature." Sal mentally cursed herself for the phrase. "We all think about what could have been."
"True. Some days I wish I could be more like the iliri, always looking to the future."
Sal giggled at that. "It's not often you hear someone speak well of them. I take it you're a sympathizer?"
"Very much so." Blaec was watching her face for a reaction.
Sal smiled, letting her relief show. "Good. I was starting to think that everyone in the military hated them."
So he told her about his dream of iliri emancipation, his struggles to bring equality into the military, and the loneliness that came with his position. With each hour that passed, their conversation became more personal. Sal listened, distracted by the needs of the man before her. The Lieutenant buried his own problems so deep that only a stranger could ease the pain. She pointed out the good he'd done, just from his own stories, and how he truly cared for his men as well as the people of the Conglomerate. When the pub began to empty, she realized she hadn't learned a thing about her mission, but had grown fond of the man before her who tried to protect the world.
"I suppose they're closing," he said, looking around.
She pouted slightly. "I enjoyed being with you too much, it seems. Time has just flown and I'm not even tired!"
"Well, let me walk you back to your room?"
She smiled and nodded. "I'd like that very much, Blaec."
He stood and offered his hand, assisting her to her feet. When she twined her arm in his, he smiled down at her fondly. "I really do feel like I know you, Siana. And you say you haven't been in Fort Landing or Stonewater Stables before?"
"Sorry. I grew up in Merriton." Which was true. She just hadn't grown up as the daughter of a merchant, but rather the slave of one.
"Well, then I'm glad you made it through this way now." He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. Warmth rose at his touch; the feeling was not one she was used to.
He escorted her across the outpost, and she flirted unabashedly. Blaec responded, his touch changing from gentlemanly to familiar, but never impolite. When the lights of the inn lit their path, Sal hesitated. She needed to be learning more about her upcoming trials, but she was enjoying her time with him, even if it was nothing more than a pretense.
He made her feel respected, beautiful, and safe. That had only happened once before in her life, and she wanted it again. The conniving part of her mind said she could easily use this to her advantage. Seducing the Lieutenant would lead to intimacies that might get her the information she wanted.
She'd done this before, but this time it was different. His broad shoulders and muscled chest were alluring. His quick wit made for pleasant talk, and his smile made her heart skip. Her orders were to learn all she could, by any means necessary, so Sal convinced herself she was simply following those orders when she reached up to trace a finger down the line of his throat.
"Would you care to come up and have one last drink, my kind sir?"
His mouth curled up into a smile. "I think I just might."
Entering the lobby, the matron looked up from her ever-present position behind the counter. Her eyes widened when she saw the soldier Sal had returned with.
"Lieutenant!" she exclaimed. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, Mrs. Heckly, I'm just escorting a lady back to her rooms for the night, to be sure she gets here safely."
"Yes, sir. That's the gentlemanly thing to do, sir," she agreed, turning her face back to her books, but her attention was focused on the couple as they made their way up the stairs.
Keeping quiet until she reached her rooms, Sal opened the door and invited Blaec in. "I take it you have a reputation around here, from the way the woman downstairs reacted. Do you come back to women's rooms on a regular basis?" She laughed as she said it.
"No, quite the opposite, I assure you. Normally I would have one of my men escort a lady across the compound."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't. Can I get you something to drink?" she asked, sauntering across the room.
"I'll get it. You get those boots off your feet before I have to catch you again."
"I don't know, I might like that." She cast a flirtatious glance back at him and gestured toward the small bar, then made her way into her sleeping chamber. Once there, she pulled off her boots and removed the bustle from her skirt, leaving only a short under-skirt and stockings. Feeling almost comfortable, Sal returned to the main room, walked directly to Blaec, and turned her back to him, gesturing to the laces of her corset.
"Can I talk you into untying it?"
"Oh, Siana, um, I can't promise that I'll stop," he said meekly.
"I didn't say I wanted you too." She pulled the pins from her hair and let it fall to her bare shoulders. "I'm sure you know that a drink is rarely just a drink."
His hands trembling, Blaec untied the laces, loosening them carefully. Sal reached behind her back and helped him un-thread them, peeling her tiny waist from the hard leather. She tossed it into a nearby chair then turned to face him. He looked at her in silence for a long moment, before reaching up to her face and running his thumb across her lips. Stepping into the touch, she placed her hands on his chest and gently met his mouth with her own.
"It's ok, Blaec. I want this. I think you do, too." At his nod, she began to unbutton his shirt.
Locking her mind away, she traced the lines of his hairless chest. When her hands touched his skin, his inhibitions left. He wrapped one arm around her and pulled her close, his tongue diving through her teeth. When she returned the kiss with as much interest, he swept her off her feet, into his arms, and headed straight for the bed.
Chapter 14
False dawn cast a weak glow at the edge of the curtains, the morning not far off. The pale light was the only illumination in the room. Sal lay awake and satisfied in the bed, Blaec beside her, tracing lines on her bronze stomach with one hand. His other twined in hers while they both caught their breath. She turned her head to look at him, smiling gently when his soft eyes met hers.
"Tell me a secret, Siana," he begged, his gaze refusing to drop.
She glanced away, thinking of something she could share and not make herself feel any more guilty. "I didn't tell you the complete truth about myself, but I didn't
exactly lie to you either," she said. "I just made the facts sound a bit better to impress you."
"I think we all do that, so that's not a very good secret. Try again, my dear."
"Ok..." She paused to think before answering. "How about this? I won't be able to tell anyone about you, because they wouldn't understand?"
"And why is that?"
"Because spending such a wonderful night with some soldier isn't what girls like me are expected to do. I do plan to treasure this memory." The words were as true as she could make them, aware that he'd smell a lie. "What about you, Blaec? Tell me a secret?"
"Ah, my secret is that I have to be in a meeting in an hour, and I should have been sleeping all night instead of spending it with you."
"Now see, that isn't a very good secret!" She giggled and flung a pillow at his chest, causing him to laugh at her. "Try again."
"Ok, ok. Let's see, I'm the commanding officer of the Black Blades, have you heard of them?"
"Oh, yeah. I think everyone has. That's you?" She widened her eyes in false surprise.
"Yeah, that's my unit. We're in the middle of recruitment, and I was supposed to finalize the details of my last test tonight, but for the first time in a long time, I seem to be biased toward the soldier I want to pass."
"Is that a bad thing?"
He let out a deep sigh. "I don't know if it is or not, but I've been unable to sleep for days, hoping that I make the right decision and that my trial is fair. My men deserve this recruit and they really seem to have already accepted her as one of their own."
"Her?" she asked, surprised he meant her. "Are they just trying to have a cute girl around or something? Is that why you're so worried?"
"No, it's nothing like that. She's an iliri, and while she's exotic and, yes, they find her attractive, she also just fits in with us. I don't know, I think it's that she cares about what we do rather than how much a position with the Black Blades would impress others."
He was wrong, but had just turned the conversation toward the information she needed. She wanted to ask more about the men thinking she was attractive, but he was confiding in her and seeking her opinion. She couldn't let the chance slip by.
"So, is she better than the others that you have to, I dunno, choose, or whatever?"
"I think so. While the others have more experience in combat, the girl is more skilled, and she seems willing to stand up for what she believes in. That's really why we take the risks we do, because no one else will."
"So why don't you just pick her?" Sal tried to feign ignorance.
"Well, it's a trial. I have to make a test that's complicated enough for only one of them to pass, but I have three trying out. The first is a long shot, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the mind to lead my men. The other guy? Well, he's good, but he's all about what's in it for him and the respect he'll gain as an elite soldier – bragging rights, you know, that sort of thing. The girl? She wants to make a difference, I think. The respect sure won't hurt, but she has a heart about her the others don't. No matter how many people try to crush her, she still gives back more than is asked. Not many people like that."
Maybe he wasn't wrong, and it sounded like her chances were better than she thought. Having the Lieutenant on her side certainly wouldn't hurt. Sal knew that if she pushed, he'd break down and explain.
"Ok, so why can't you just pick her. You're the one in charge, aren't you?"
"I am." He lifted a hand to rub at his brow. "But I also have to make sure there's no way for Command to prevent her transfer to my unit. A fair trial does that. She's pure iliri, you see."
"Ok, so then just make the trial one where combat experience doesn't count, but saving others does?" Sal was thinking about the information the stablehand had given her the day before.
"Siana," Blaec said, "that's not a bad idea!" He sat up in the bed, staring at the light sneaking in the edge of the curtains, his mind obviously working out the details.
She continued, "So, I don't know, create a situation where they can either 'win' the test, or save people that don't seem to be related? Let the winner be the one that gives up on the test in order to do what a soldier should really do?"
He glanced at her, smiling, then leaned over to kiss her. "That's it, exactly. I can make that change easily with the mission I had planned and just make the cavalry charge through an area that'd end up running across 'civilians' played by some cadets. The best soldier for the Blades will sacrifice me in order to save the civilians."
He pinned her to the bed, kissing her deeply before pulling himself to his feet. "Sadly, I have to go, my dear. I have a meeting with a few Captains to finish planning this. With your new idea, I also need to run it past my men, to make sure they'd be happy with that as a trial for their next partner. When are you leaving? I would love to be more of a gentleman and buy you lunch at least." He left the offer hanging, sadness creeping into his eyes.
"I honestly don't know, Blaec. I'm supposed to check with the carriages and get today's schedule. I have to make it to Eastward before the one to Merriton departs."
He looked torn. She could see his duty called him, yet he didn't want to leave. "Siana..." he started. "I never meant to go this far."
"I know, Blaec. I'm glad it did. I got this chance, and I'll treasure the memories of you. Who knows, maybe we'll run into each other again?"
"At least leave me a way to get in touch with you?"
"If I don't see you at lunch, I'll leave something for you at the desk here. I'd love to have more time with you. You're a good man – sexy, brilliant, and with a caring heart. Nothing about you is self-centered, and you're nothing like I expected from an officer in the military." She spoke the truth. Sal had always wished to meet a man like him, and here she was, with a taste of something impossible. "You and I both know this can't be something permanent, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it. I refuse to be sad about this. If a memory of you is all I get, then that's what it is." She smiled up at him. "Now get out of here before you're late."
"I..." Blaec shoved one hand deep into his hair. "Siana, I don't want you to think this didn't mean anything to me."
Sal shook her head. "No, Blaec. I think tonight meant more to you than you're willing to admit." She grabbed his arm and pulled him to her. "You almost make me feel like I took advantage of you. I swear this meant more to me that you can ever know, ok? Now get to work, sir."
The Lieutenant kissed her once more, then walked out of the room without looking back. Sal refused to open her thoughts to him, treasuring what she had, knowing that the Lieutenant needed to think of his night with her as a sweet memory, not a breach of military protocol. She sighed and slipped deeper into the bed, convincing her body that she needed sleep. While her mind drifted away, she couldn't help but wonder how she'd keep this secret from the men she planned to share the rest of her life with.
***
Blaec made his way toward the inn. All morning, his memories of the night before flashed through his head, making it hard to concentrate. As soon as they smelled him, his men knew where he'd spent his night. Naturally there was teasing, but gently, and not as much as he'd expected. Mostly they encouraged him to see her again before she left.
They also liked the new plan – which he presented as his own – for finding the right soldier for their unit. The idea of sacrificing their officer in order to save civilians was brilliant, and he had Siana to thank for that. Her idea solved all the problems he worried about, and neither of the two men would be willing to risk failing their trial, even if it meant saving the lives of innocent people. Sal, he thought, would.
When he entered the lobby of the inn, the matron was there, like always. "Lieutenant," she said calmly, looking at him like a mother. "I have a package for you, sir."
He nodded and waited while she walked into the back room. When she returned, she carried a small box no bigger than her hand and passed it across the counter to him.
"I take it she's left." He looked down at
the box, his world feeling like it had just fallen out from under him.
"Yes, sir. She asked me to give this to you. Her carriage left over an hour ago now."
Blaec's shoulders sagged. He'd been so sure he'd catch her. There had been so much he planned to say. With a heavy heart, he accepted the small box from Mrs. Heckly.
"I'm sure you'll meet someone better, sir." She patted his arm. "Women like her are like iliri, Lieutenant. Always looking for what interests them now. You deserve better."
"That's not how iliri are," he whispered to himself, stroking the lip of the box.
Looking up, he nodded and thanked her, then tucked the package safely in his pocket before heading back to his own cabin. It had taken him most of the day to realize why she felt so familiar, and only a stray comment from Cyno about Sal made him realize what it was. Both had an easy laugh, both had a quiet self confidence that he respected. They even smelled similar. Blaec couldn't help but wonder if Siana knew she had iliran ancestry.
Granted, Blaec hadn't been involved with a woman for years. The few times he found one that interested him, work got in the way. The Blades were an integral part of who he was. He and his men fought for more than just a paycheck. Usually, the ladies he met were just too human. They couldn't understand that the war wouldn't stop because he took a day off. They couldn't wrap their minds around why he was dedicated to this lifestyle. None of them could fathom the bond he had with his men – Blaec thought of them as his family, not just a military unit.
Siana, though, had accepted that and never once hinted at him doing anything else to be with her. While it was only one night, he felt connected to her in a way that he couldn't describe. He'd secretly hoped she would decide to stay at the stables or travel to whatever base he was stationed at next. It was impossible, and he couldn't see a future where they were together, but deep in his heart, he'd hoped.
Treading slowly back to his rooms, he thought about how he'd planned to tell her that her idea had been the answer he needed, and how he would have thanked her. Blaec had hoped for a quiet dinner. Some place to speak openly with her, without his men interrupting, even if they were always in his head. Now, he would never get to know her better, and his chances of finding his way to Merriton were slim. He could write her, or maybe send a gift. He told himself that in time he would forget her and everything would be back to normal, but he doubted it. She'd smelled like perfection.