by Auryn Hadley
It felt like years had passed since she'd played the part of Siana, yet the memories were so clear. She smiled to herself and took another sip, glancing around for the loose board only a few steps over.
"That last step is a doozy I hear."
Sal turned her head, a smile finding her lips when she saw LT. "It really is. I am glad you decided to come tonight."
"A friend told me I'd be a fool to miss this, and I have to say he was right. Sal, you look amazing. Black suits you." He smiled at her in a way she'd never seen, the joy going all the way into his eyes.
"Do that more, it looks good on you."
"What?"
"Smile like you mean it. It melts the ice a bit."
"I'll try. I can't promise to, but I can promise to try."
"I'll take what I can get."
He nodded, suddenly smelling nervous. "I'd ask to buy you a drink, but you already have one."
"Yeah, the bartender bought the Blades a round. The rest have pre-deployment nerves and are busy trying to live life to the fullest. Do they always do this?"
"Not always. Sometimes they prefer to spend their time together, away from others. It just depends on what the mission is. We've been holed up here for nearly two months now, and they know we have a few days together before the fighting will start." He looked over the rail at his men weaving through the crowd. "What about you, Sal? Why aren't you down there trying to find someone to entertain you for the evening or enough drinks to make you forget?"
"Honestly?" she asked, turning to meet his gaze.
"Yeah, honestly." His eyes never left hers.
"Because I don't care. I spent my entire life wanting to do what I'm about to. I know I'll succeed, and yes, I know there's a chance I'll die doing it, but I'm ok with that." She smiled to take the edge off her words. "I've found people I can trust, I have friends closer than I ever knew I wanted, and I dunno – it doesn't make any sense to say it, but the truth is, Blaec, this feels right."
"I hope it is." He offered his arm. "Dance with me, Sal?"
"I'd be glad to, if it won't hurt your image." She glanced down for a moment to show her respect.
To prove her wrong, he took her arm, laced it into his, and escorted her down the main stairs. When they neared the dance floor, the music changed to a slower song, intended for dancing close. Sal cocked an eyebrow at him but Blaec kept going. One hand in his, the other properly on his shoulder, she let him lead her around the crowded dance floor.
I've never seen you dance before, she thought. I wasn't sure you knew how.
I managed to learn at some point in my life, I just haven't had a lot of reasons to want to.
And now?
That dress could convince any man to make a fool of himself. I see you still have the necklace, too.
You did tell me to keep it to remind you.
I did. Although it doesn't remind me of what it should. His hand settled lower on her back, and she stepped closer into his embrace.
So then how do we get you to let one of us in, if you won't let me do it? she prodded.
You don't let me say no all the time, that's how.
Then stop telling me no. I won't go against an order you give me, but I know as well as you that you're trying to keep yourself bottled up. You've been running us ragged for the past few days. That's probably why the guys are blowing it off now.
Sal, he thought, I'm terrified I'm going to lose you. That we'll lose you. I'm not sure if I can take feeling another mind ripped out of my head. That's why I've been pushing you so hard. We have to keep you safe.
She took the last step into his embrace and rested her head on his shoulder, giving him no option but to put both arms around her. She breathed in the non-human smell of him, savoring it.
Do you really think I can't handle myself out there? If that's the case, then why did you accept me? We both know I'm as good as any man you have, and you have some damned fine men here, Blaec. Stop thinking like some human and act like our commander. We trust you, and the men take their confidence from you.
I know, he thought, and I try, but...
No excuses. She paused, then asked, Why me, Blaec? Any of us can die out there. Arctic, Zep, even you. Why are you so worried about me?
Rather than answer, he ran his hand down the back of her neck and pulled her closer to him. He rested his lips against the top of her head as the music drifted to a finale. Sal politely stepped back from his embrace and looked up at him, trying to gauge his mind. His eyes looked deep into hers for a long moment, then dropped to her lips. When the next song started, Sal walked off the dance floor, knowing Blaec would follow. She found a quiet corner in the back of the pub and turned to him.
Blaec, I'm not Circus. I'm not going to throw away my life because I'm distracted by a fight with you. I don't always agree with you as it is; none of us do.
He sighed. I know, but this is the biggest mission we've had since that one. It doesn't help me any that it's your first.
And I don't want it to be your last, Lieutenant. We're as worried about you as you seem to be about me, she pointed out. So, Blaec, why me? You can't keep on like this. Either sideline me or admit your real problem, but don't drag your men into it because of your pride.
She expected him to answer, thinking that having him admit his feelings across a link that Arctic might be listening to would give her a way to explain that he'd done nothing improper. What he did, instead, was the last thing she expected in a crowded bar filled with soldiers.
He kissed her.
Chapter 22
His mouth touched hers in the most gentle and delicate kiss she'd ever experienced, but Sal stepped back. He stood quietly, waiting, his pale green eyes like those of a scared young man rather than the leader of the top special operations outfit in their nation. She reached up and touched his cheek.
Why now? What happened to your rank and it being improper? she asked.
The truth? I got my ass chewed. The men know there's something... I dunno, that I have something for you.
She nodded at him again, encouraging him.
It doesn't bother them, Sal. It doesn't bother you. It's been a month, and the only one that's bothered by me worrying about how things look is, well... me. Shift made me realize I was being a fool, and that if I lose you in this mission, I'd never be able to forgive myself for worrying about something that matters so little, when it comes right down to it. Come home with me tonight, Sal?
She gently clasped his arm. Meet me at the door. I need to take care of something, but it'll only take a second.
He nodded and she strode blatantly across the pub to the nearest man in black: Arctic. When she touched his shoulder, he grabbed her hand and looked up. His eyes widened when he realized she wasn't one of the many women courting him.
Standing, his mind reached for hers. What's wrong?
I need this out loud. LT just kissed me in front of every soldier in this place. We both know he'll regret that in the morning, she thought, while she said, "The Lieutenant's drunk and thinks I'm some woman he spent the night with a few weeks ago."
He may, but will you regret it in the morning? Arctic asked, as he played the double speak the Blades were good at. "Shit, need a hand?"
She shook her head in response to both the verbal and nonverbal conversation. "Nah, he's more than willing to follow me anywhere, and it's probably easiest if I handle this. Just make sure you check on him later?" I would only regret it if I wasn't going home with him. Anyone going to have a problem with this? I ask because you're the second in command, and obviously, LT can't be unbiased.
No, we've been hoping he'd get around to it. It's why none of us tried, in all honesty. "Yeah, I'll grab him some meds for the morning. Now, do you mind? You're not helping me here."
"Doesn't look like you're having a problem to me." Thanks Arctic, she thought as she made her way to the door of the pub.
No problem, demon. I'm locking the two of you out of the main link. Send to me if y
ou need anything. You won't be able to reach anyone else, and unless it's a direct poke, I sure as hell won't be snooping in either of your brains tonight. Just be gentle with him. He's fragile right now.
I know, she sent as she walked to the door. Eyes watched her pass. The rumors were already spreading. Her mind felt strangely quiet when she reached out to Blaec. You've already started tongues wagging, you know.
Yeah, I see that. He sounded embarrassed.
Story going around is that you've had a bit too much to drink and think I'm some woman you met a few weeks ago. Go with it and I'll go home with you. Ruin your reputation and I'm staying here, she threatened.
Ouch, you don't play fair.
No, I don't. You deserve a woman as devious as you. We have a deal?
"Siana!" he slurred at her in answer. "You keep running off when I least expect it. Damn, girl, you have some serious legs." You really do have amazing legs, you know.
"C'mon, LT, let's get you to bed, sir," she said loud enough for those closest to hear. "Your head is going to be killing you in the morning." Draping his arm over her shoulder, she walked him out of the pub, toward his cabin.
Once out of sight, he turned and kissed her again. You would stop me if you weren't interested, wouldn't you?
I'd probably put you on the floor, in all honesty, she admitted. Blaec, I told you before that when you decided you were ready, I would still be here. I'm here. Still.
I don't want this to be like last time, you know, he said sheepishly. I want to romance you, sweep you off your feet, and impress you with how wonderful I can be. I don't seem to be doing so well at it.
I dunno. I think risking a court martial for a kiss is pretty romantic. She found herself smiling at him. And I know you a bit better than I did last time. I trust you now; I didn't before.
Their feet carried them to his door. He opened it and escorted her in, calmly making his way around the room in near darkness with ease, lighting the lamps around the room.
I didn't know you could see in the dark, she thought.
I got all of my mother's abilities, it seems, and my father's looks. Well, mostly. Some would say it's the perfect blend.
I'm one of them. Your father must have been a very sexy man if he's to blame for your looks.
He stopped before her and touched the opal at her throat. Why me, Sal? Why not any of them? Why did you come back here with me tonight?
Blaec... she caressed his name in her mind. There's more to you than even you seem to know. You're brilliant, you're tactical, and you hold this motley crew of crossbreds together with nothing more than your charm. The more I learn about you, the more I respect you, and the more impressed I am by you. And –
You could have all that without coming home with me. Why me, Sal? Why are you here? It was his turn to push the issue.
The truth is, I don't know. You don't scare me. I can't stop thinking about you. I find something about you tugs at me, at my instincts. You keep me calm, almost human. The truth is, I don't have a lot of experience with what to do after the first night. Most men don't want a relationship with an iliri.
And if I do?
Then I'm here, willing. And if you don't, then I'm still here, willing to serve. I don't expect something that will last forever, not in our line of work. I just want this, for now. I want to let it run its course, and enjoy each second of it while it does.
He nodded at her, standing so close she could feel his heart pounding in his chest and smell his excitement. She reached up to his face and traced his lip with her thumb. Her eyes took in every nuance of his features, but he put his hand on hers, pulling it away.
Sal, before anything happens, I want to make this clear. I will never ask you to be faithful to me. Loyal, yes, as a soldier, but I know you can't be faithful – not if it means getting yourself out, or completing a mission, or just being iliri. I don't ever want to make you feel guilty. If the worst happens, and you're ever captured...
I know, Blaec, she told him. It's ok, I understand. She opened her mind, to show him, and felt his arms pull her to him.
When she melted into his embrace, he turned her gently, walking her through a door in the back wall. She entered his sleeping chamber wrapped in his arms while he kissed her neck and slowly unlaced her corset. Slipping her out of it, he eased her onto the edge of the bed and knelt to unlace her boots.
Stay the night, Sal? he asked. Let me wake up with you tomorrow?
Her only answer was to reach up and pull him to her.
***
She woke with her head on Blaec's chest and a sound in the room. One ear flicked to the disturbance. Cracking her eyes open, she saw Arctic slipping in the door. His eyes met hers. The link to the Blades returned as she felt Arctic slide into her head.
My, don't you look comfortable there. Can you get him awake, Sal? he asked. It's past time for him to be giving us directions. We've been doing our best to let you both sleep, but it's past dawn and questions are being asked.
She nodded at him, then leaned over to kiss Blaec's forehead, running her fingers along his face. Blaec, she whispered into his mind. His eyes opened and met hers, a smile coming easily to his lips when he reached an arm up to pull her to him.
She resisted and glanced over at Arctic. "Lieutenant, it seems you're late for work."
He followed her gaze, groaning when he saw his First Officer in the room. "Damn it, man. You sure know how to ruin my morning."
"You'll get over it," Arctic teased, exposing sharp teeth with his grin. "It's almost an hour after dawn. The horses are being saddled and Tilso needs to know how many pack animals you need or if you want wagons instead. The supply depot shorted us a pavilion, Raven threw a shoe – the farrier is adamant she won't be sound for travel – and someone had to bring Sal's riding clothes over, because I'm pretty sure neither of you thought about that last night." He pointed at a pile of black clothing folded neatly on the desk next to him.
"Thanks," Sal said, pulling the covers to her chest as she sat up. "Did you get my boots, too?"
"Yep, just outside the door."
"Ok." Blaec shoved another pillow under his head. "Have Tilso look at Raven. Cyno won't go anywhere without her, and I'm sure Tilso either can take care of it or knows someone that can. Show him our route and let him decide on the supply wagons, too. What else was there?" He reached out to trace a line down Sal's arm.
She kissed his hand, then climbed out of bed, making no move to cover herself. "The pavilion." Grabbing one of LT's shirts from the floor, she spoke to the First Sergeant. "Arctic, if there's not a spare, it's fine. Do you really think Blaec will let me sleep in the ranks? Besides, he gets a nicer bed."
"Right," Arctic said, looking politely at the floor while she pulled on the too-large shirt. "I'll make sure it'll fit two. What about when we meet up with the regular army?"
"Don't I get a say in this?" Blaec asked.
"No," Sal and Arctic replied in unison.
She turned to Arctic. "Just toss another cot in the supplies. I can bunk with one of the guys on those nights."
"Perfect. Thanks, Sal. You just solved our biggest problem, I think." He smiled at her and turned to leave. Don't mess this up, he sent, closing the door behind him. We missed the old Lieutenant, but I think he's back.
Me, too, Blaec agreed, smiling at Sal while she rummaged through his drawers.
And I can get you another half hour, but not much more.
They made sure to use the time wisely.
Chapter 23
The Black Blades traveled lightly. Most of their supplies were strapped on their horses. Tilso trimmed the rest down to only what four pack animals could carry. The mules were tethered to each other and would follow Risk's mare, Phoenix. The hours Sal spent in training made her comfortable in the saddle, and Arden picked her way across the grass easily on a loose rein. At the front of the line, Arctic, Shift, and the Lieutenant rode abreast, making last minute changes to the plans, fretting about things it was too la
te to change.
"They allus do this," Cyno said, pulling his blue roan mare back next to her. "He's na snubbing ya, ya know."
She couldn't help but smile. "I know, Cyno. I just slept with the man, I didn't become his puppet."
His cold eyes looked at her. "If ya think that's all it is, then yer a fool."
"You think I'm his puppet?" she tossed back.
"Nah, but I also do na think ya jus' slept with him. It's na that casual – for him a'least."
"That I know, but I'm still one of his men, same as you. I don't expect to be treated any differently than I was yesterday."
He nodded, satisfied with her answer, but he refused to look away even as his eyes warmed. "Do na let it distract ya, neither. K?"
"I'll try not to. I'm being realistic. I really am."
"K." He sounded like he didn't believe her.
"Cyno, I'm pretty used to things ending after the first night. I'm iliri, remember?"
"Wha' does that have ta do with it?" he asked, confused.
"You ever met a man who dreamed of a long term relationship with an iliri?"
He tried not to, but couldn't stop himself from smiling. "Yeh. There's least seven here in the Blades."
"Who'd choose an iliri lover over anyone else?"
"Yeh. Ya sayin' ya'd prefer a human over one of our own kind?"
Sal thought about that for a moment. "I dunno. Doesn't it matter more how the person treats you than what species they are?"
"Does na their species kinna effect how they treat ya?" he asked back. "Sal, yer jus'... I dunno." The pause stretched on, and slowly, he lowered his eyes to hers again. "Yer a good friend."
She nudged her mare closer to his. Picking at the reins when Arden pinned her ears at Raven, Sal reached over to grab his hand. She smiled at him, but he glanced down for a moment before pulling his away.