He paused, studying her and trying his best to avert his eyes. He finally sighed, speaking to her.
“It is. Sorry, I just drink when I’m nervous,” he said.
“What is there to be nervous about? I mean, I’m helping you out. Is Shelly starting other shit?” she asked.
“No. that case is actually almost done. I obviously won. It’s just…other things,” he said.
“What kind of other things?” she inquired.
That was when she saw it. Charles grew defensive.
“It’s nothing I want to talk to you about Denise. I’m just…I’m not ready to say,” he said.
“Will you tell me in the future?” she asked.
“Perhaps. I’m still…nervous, that’s all. It’s something I’ve been struggling with for a very long time. I’m not ready to tell you, even though you’re a great worker and have done well so far. Some things are just better left unsaid,” he stated to her.
She looked at him, seeing the pain in his eyes. Whatever he was hiding, it was big.
“Well, when you are ready, I want you to tell me, Charles. I swear, I’m not leaving you. I understand you’re going through something. I mean, the alcohol was the dead giveaway, but I can see it in your eyes. You’re hurting, and I know it’s tearing you apart,” she said.
“Perhaps. I just don’t want to talk about it right now though.”
“I know Charles. When you feel ready to. I want you to call me. I’ll listen to you. I mean, we’ve grown close in these last few weeks. I really like you,” she said, immediately pausing as she uttered those words. She didn’t mean for it to sound like that, but Charles didn’t think much about it.
“Thank you, Denise. I appreciate having the support. Perhaps I’ll tell you when the time is right,” he stated.
“You should. It’ll help with the pain,” she replied.
Denise left the office, seeing him back there. He looked dejected, and Denise felt bad. But she knew he would need to come to him, and the only way for him to recover from whatever it was he was going through, was to have him tell her. She could try all she liked, but this was on him.
Denise went home that night with many questions. What pushed him to drink? What was so terrible he had to block out the world to do so? She did drink at parties and with friends, but this seemed different. She wanted to know badly, but she didn’t want to push it.
It was one of those things that were better left unsaid, that’s for sure.
Chapter Six
Charles sat there, thinking about at Denise said. He did want to tell her, oh how badly he wanted to, but he also didn’t want to scare her away. He had trouble getting close to women up to this point. But every day, Denise would come in, smiling at him and saying good morning. She stayed to listen to her briefings and would bother to ask if he was okay. There was something admirable about that, and for Charles, he wanted nothing more than to indulge in this. He wanted to tell her everything, to explain it all without any second thoughts, but he was scared.
This would be the first time he ever told anyone about this. He kept it quiet from every person he could, even Charlotte his receptionist, who he did trust. This was a demon in his past that he was afraid to tell anyone about, and it was something that would be kept under wraps until the time was right.
The next month flew on by, and as Charles spent more time with Denise, whenever she walked into the office to give him reports and the like, he felt a sense of familiarity from her. It felt so right, so real to him, and Charles wanted nothing more than to experience this forever. We felt like he could trust her, especially if he decided to go through with this.
That was the big step though. He didn’t know if he should go through with telling her everything just yet. It was a lot to take in, a lot to think about, but at the same time, the idea of letting her know what was going on seemed better than trying to hide it constantly. He didn’t want to do that, but he also didn’t want to scare her away.
However, it was obvious she liked him. Those little gazes she gave him weren’t just playful teases. They were something else, and immediately, Charles realized what he wanted to do. He didn’t think much about it, but finally, when the time was right, he spoke. It was after she gave him her daily report, a month after the incident with the alcohol. He thankfully hadn’t drunk that much recently, even though he did feel the urge from time to time.
“There you are,” he said.
“I am here,” she said with a smile.
“Listen, there is something I want to ask you. I know it’s weird, but you don’t have to say yes. This is just me taking a chance,” he said to her.
She looked at him, and he could see the expectation in her eyes. He wanted to spill it, to let her know everything, and finally, he did.
“Would you like to come with me to dinner this Friday? I have reservations at this place for an event, but the event won’t last all night. It’s a gorgeous location here in town, and I’d love to share it with you,” he said. The blush on his face was probably painfully obvious, but he hoped this would do the trick. He didn’t know if Denise was into this sort of thing, but when she looked at him, he saw the smile on her face.
“Are you asking me out? Because I’ve never heard this from a guy before,” she said. Denise was slightly nervous, especially since this would be her first date, but something felt right about this man. Something seemed fine to her.
“I mean, I guess you could say that. Sorry, I’m so awkward,” he replied.
She looked at him, smiling in anticipation as she leaned in, giving him a small pat on the shoulder.
“I’d love that. I’m guessing formal attire?” she asked.
“That is correct. I’m surprised you said yes, you know,” he admitted.
“What, you thought I was going to say no? come on, you got to give me more credit than that,” she teased.
“I know. I’m excited though. Thanks, Denise,” he said.
“No problem Charles. I’m ready,” she replied.
She walked out of there, and Charles realized what he’d done. He was finally going on a date, for the first time in years. It was almost too much to bear. He was thirty, and he was going on his first date in probably about four years. It had been four years since the incident, with his last date being with his life. There was something almost cathartic about taking this chance. He hoped that it would all work out.
It was amazing that she said yes, at least in his mind. He expected her to say that he was gross and weird and that she had no desire to go out with him. But it was the opposite, and that was what surprised him even more. Charles got ready for this, and for the next few days, he felt like he was walking on air.
Denise was shocked by it all as well. This would be her first date, with a billionaire at that. It was slightly terrifying, but there was some sort of gravitation that she had with Charles. The two of them were close already in the office, and she felt some sort of desire within whenever she saw him, a need to learn more.
The day of the date was there, and when Charles got ready, he looked at himself. This was the first time he dressed up for something other than an investors meeting, and it felt different. He cared a lot more about this than he did about any old meeting, so he put the time into making himself look good. When he finished, he stepped out, heading over to where Denise’s office was. When he knocked on the door, Denise opened, and when he saw her, he felt as if time had stopped.
He was dressed in a beautiful red gown with pearls in her ears. Her hair was up in a beautiful updo, courtesy of the stylist he hired and brought in for her. She still had that look of badassery to her, but there was a sort of feminine softness to it as well.
“Wow,” he simply said.
“Do I look bad?” she asked, feeling almost ashamed for a second.
“Not at all! You look lovely,” he replied.
“Thank you. You ready to head out?” she asked.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replie
d.
They gripped each other’s hands, a small spark being sent through their bodies, and soon, they made their way to his limo. This was the beginning of something more, so much more than they expected, and what Denise didn’t know, was that she was about to make a life-changing decision not only for herself, but for him as well.
Chapter Seven
The drive to the place was mostly quiet, with both of them looking at one another and making small talk every now and then. They didn’t know where to begin, even though they were around one another quite a bit. Finally, Charles bit the bullet and spoke.
“This is going to be quite the party. We’ll have dinner together, and I think some people will speak, but it’s mostly just a night of mingling. I’m excited to bring you to meet a few of my business friends,” he said.
“Same here. This is quite different from what I expected my first date to be like,” she replied.
“Well, I hope I can impress you.”
Denise smiled. She was already super impressed by everything. Charles was a billionaire, and the wealth showed. This limo was one that wasn’t on the market yet, and Denise was shocked that she could even ride in something like this. When they got to the place where dinner would be, he stepped out of the limo, extending his hand.
“Here we go,” he said with a smile.
She stepped out, and soon, hey were led to some table in a giant garden. He decorations were unlike anything Denise had seen before. She always hung out in bars, or in dingy malls, but never in places like this.
“Wow. This feels like a whole new world,” she said.
“Sure does. Are you happy with your job?” he asked.
The waiter asked for their drink orders, and Charles gave him a dissertation of wines he wanted the man to bring out for them. It was only two glasses, but Denise was shocked at how he sounded.
“Holy shit,” she said.
“Sorry. It’s a habit. I’ve been in his world for a long time,” he replied.
“I ca see. Yeah, I do really like this job. I really enjoy working for you, you know,” she admitted.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I didn’t expect to if you want the truth of it. I thought that I would hate it. I was expecting you to be some shitty rich guy who would boss me around, but instead, I discovered you were so different from the first impression. I’ve never been happier, really,” she said to him. She hated that she sounded so rude initially, but it was different from what the initial impressions brought forth.
Charles chuckled at her response. “Well, I’m glad I’m no some big, bad man. I try not to be. Some say I’m too soft, and that it will get me in trouble. I hate to say that it has once, but it has,” he said.
“I see. I guess you mean the Shelly bullshit.”
“Correct. I do regret ever hiring her. I was told it would be a mistake, but my dumb ass didn’t listen. I still regret it, even to this day,” he admitted.
He looked dejected, and dense felt bad. “Don’t worry about that. It’s all in the past now. Besides, you’re an amazing employer. I love coming in to work these days. At my old job, it was all I could do to tolerate their sit for more than five minutes. But when I work with you, it’s like I’m doing something with my life,” she replied.
“I’m glad you feel that way.”
“I do Charles. The truth is, my parents always said that because of how I looked, I’d never amount to anything. I mean, I have tattoos, I just cover them up. I used to hang out, and I still do, hang out at skate parks. All the guys I hung with were always on the wrong side of the law, and I did manage at one point to almost get arrested cause I way a dumb teenager. I did clean up my act, and while I did all of that, I actually never went on a date, let alone had a boyfriend,” she explained.
Charles was shocked. He didn’t know this was her first full date.
“Wow. Well damn. I didn’t know you had such little experience.”
“I do. I mean, I’m willing to learn, and here is just something about you that I really like. I’ve always thought older men were way more attractive, and you certainly fit the bill,” she said with a smile.
He laughed, feeling flattered by that. “Well, I’ll try to make everything as nice for you as you have for me,” he replied.
The two of them got to talking about other subjects, and when their food came, they would still talk about other things. After that, Charles extended his hand, smiling at her.
“Care to dance?” he asked.
“S-sure,” she replied.
He pulled her to the dance floor, holding her there as they twirled around. Denise clung to him, unsure about what she was doing. She felt embarrassed, but when she looked into Charles’s eyes, for the first time she saw something that she hadn’t ever seen.
Happiness.
The man was happy. She felt a wave of emotions cling to her as she saw that, realizing what she was doing. After they danced, they went out to one of the rooms below, stepping to the balcony there. The city was in plain view, and when Denise saw this, she gasped.
“This is gorgeous!” she said.
“Sure is. I’m glad to be here with you.”
“I am as well Charles. It’s weird because I’ve never felt this way before. It feels nice. I mean, I don’t want this to end,” she said.
He paused, looking at her, and that’s when it hit him. He began to cry, tears falling down his face. He stood there, looking at her beautiful frame, sobbing against the rail.
“Fuck, are you okay?” she asked.
He took a moment to cry, but then, he pulled himself together, looking at her.
“Yeah. I am Denise. I’m just…happy. This is the first time in a very long time I’ve been happy. There is something that’s been holding me back, but when I’m around you, I feel like I don’t have to do that,” he said.
“What is it? What happened?” she asked him. She wondered if she would get the answers tonight.
Charles paused. He wanted to tell her everything, to spill his heart you to her in hopes that she understood and felt the same way. He then took a deep breath, preparing himself for the words that were about to be uttered.
“I have a secret I’ve kept from many people. I’ve wanted to tell you from the moment I saw you, but I’ve been afraid,” he said.
“Are you okay with telling me now?” she asked.
“Yes. I am. For the first time ever, I feel ready to talk about it,” he said.
She patted the seat next to him, and he slumped next to her, his walls crumbling. This was the first time he felt this way, and when he looked at Denise, the only thing he could think about was her.
“I haven’t told anyone this. I actually had the media keep this quiet, simply because I didn’t want the scandal,” he said to her.
“What is it?”
He took a deep breath, preparing to finally come forward, to face the demons he needed to face.
“Four years ago…my wife committed suicide. I found her dead in my home,” he said.
She looked at him, realizing what was going on.
“Holy shit, that’s so sad!”
“It is. When I saw her there, I found out she poisoned herself. She overdosed on pills, and she made sure to lace them with rat poison. I found out later it’s because she suffered from terrible depression, but she never wanted to worry me. She always…kept that smile on her face,” he said.
“I see. So she didn’t want to worry you, even though she was suffering.”
“Correct. It’s just…I…”
Tears fell down his face as he said those words, crying in sorrow. Immediately, Denise wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly.
“It’s okay. I’m here for you,” she said. She whispered sweet nothings into his ear as she stroked his back, hearing him sob. She didn’t expect this, but at the same time, it made sense.
“I’m sorry for bringing this onto you, but ever since then, I’ve been unable to love. I mean, knowing that she held a
ll of that back, hurting me like that, it’s just…it truly hurts, you know,” he said.
“I know. Would feel the same way. Not being able to do anything sucks,” she replied.
“Yeah. I feel like I couldn’t do shit, and after that happened, I haven’t been able to date. Every time I thought about it, I would remember her, and I would start crying. I did see a therapist for a long time, but we basically kept running around in circles on what to do. I didn’t think I could ever get over her until I met you,” he said.
“Me?” Denise said.
“Yes, you. You remind me of her, but you’re not a clone of her. You’re headstrong, stubborn, working to better yourself, but you always have a damn smile on your face. When I see it, it makes me happy. I didn’t want to tell you about this because I was afraid I’d scare your away. I mean, I might still scare you away with this, but I don’t want to pretend anymore. These lies are only making me hurt more, and I don’t feel like it’s fair to myself, and to you,” he admitted.
She listened to this, realizing just how much pain he went through.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t even know this,” she said.
“Nobody knows it. I keep it to myself for a good reason. But now, I’ve told you what’s been going on. I hope you don’t see me as a monster or anything,” he said, blushing as he uttered that.
“Course not. You’re a good man Charles, and honestly, I’m glad that you told me. This is the first time I’ve could help someone that I care about. I’ve always been seen as a failure, as a troublemaker, as someone that could never step in to assist anyone. But seeing you finally coming forward and telling me everything is nice. I feel like I can help like I can do a goddamn thing about this. I’m just…really glad that’s all,” she replied.
It was her turn to break down. Denise began to cry, and Charles stepped in, hugging her and wiping her tears away. The two of them looked at one another, smiling happily.
“You know, maybe we’re made for each other. We’re both broken, and yet, the other person is fixing us,” she said.
The Virgin Secretary: A Billionaire Romance Page 3