Her scent. God, her scent…
He wanted to rip off her clothes and impale her on his shaft. She would be dripping wet, her pussy even hotter and softer than her mouth. He slammed his hands against the ceiling to keep from reaching for her, knowing it wouldn’t be safe with him so worked up.
Her tongue pressed even more firmly against him, lips pulling on his skin. The metal of the car’s roof started to give as he erupted into her mouth.
She kept up her fast strokes, moving her mouth, sucking him hard, taking everything he had to give. He could hear her heartbeat, the scent of her arousal pushing him even higher. He buried himself in her mouth as deep as she could take him, dick still pulsing as he was finally spent.
He could barely catch his breath. He couldn’t think. All he could do was feel. Miranda close to him. An echo of her lips on his body. The warmth she put off. The odd feeling of safety and comfort being near her gave him.
She tucked his dick back into his pants, then fastened them. When he turned toward her, she smiled.
“Better?” she said.
“You have no idea.”
He had been so close to going over the edge, but Miranda had brought him back—again. Maybe with her at his side he really could control himself. Maybe she could keep him from becoming the monster he feared.
Her smile broadened. She sat back in her seat, and said, “Then we’d better go.”
“Yeah.”
He pulled away from the curb, still not sure where to take them. There was a fair-sized park in the Old River district—the Rath—as Miranda and Jack had called it. But that seemed an ideal place for Forester to be hiding out. Darren wasn’t up to facing him again just yet.
They could drive outside of town. Getting away from people might help. The only problem with that was that Miranda would be stuck with him. He didn’t like the idea of her not having anyone to turn to for help if things went south.
He couldn’t believe how well she was handling all of this.
She sure as hell handled me.
He shifted in his seat, his skin still electrified from what she had done to him. For him.
A chilling thought struck him. What if she had only done that to protect herself? She could have seen that he was losing it, and used sex to distract him.
He knew she was attracted to him, but things were moving ridiculously fast between them. They’d been thrown into this totally messed up, high stress situation, and it was escalating things.
He knew his change had increased his feelings toward her. The attachment he felt was…primal. But she was still human. What must this be like for her?
“You didn’t have to do that.” He spoke without thinking. He hoped to God it was true.
“I know. But I wanted to.”
He let out a huge breath and closed his eyes briefly as relief crashed through him. He shook his head.
“What is it?” she asked.
“I can’t stand the thought that you might do something you don’t want to do to keep yourself safe. I don’t want to turn into the monster Jack described.”
“You won’t.”
“I wish I was as sure as you are.”
“It helps that I can see the future.”
He laughed.
“I suppose it would.” He glanced over at her, wanting her to see how serious he was about his next words. “I meant what I said before, though. If it ever does come to that, I want you to use the gun. Don’t have any second thoughts. Never feel bad about it. You’ll be doing me a favor.”
“It won’t come to that.”
“Miranda, I’m serious. I know you have this…power. But you can’t have seen every moment of my future.”
Forester had said that Darren was immortal now. That thought hadn’t really sunk in. What would he do when Miranda wasn’t around anymore to calm him down?
He might learn to control himself eventually, but given how strong his feelings for her already were and the urges he was fighting, he couldn’t imagine making it through her death with his humanity intact. Just the thought of it made his guts twist and his skin start to crawl.
“Whatever you’re thinking about, you need to stop it,” she said. “Unless you’re hoping for an encore.”
He chuckled before he could stop himself—before the implications of her statement unfurled in his mind.
“Seriously. I don’t want you to ever do something you don’t want to.” He tried to think of an alternative, but was coming up empty. “I would rather die than hurt you.”
She sucked in a quick breath, then said, “Stop saying that.”
He’d never heard her sound angry.
“I’m sorry, but it’s true.” He didn’t know what else to say or why that had set her off so badly.
She reached into her purse and pulled out the gun, then opened his glove box and dropped it inside. She slammed it shut, then said, “I can take care of myself without anybody getting hurt. I’m done making sacrifices.”
He wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to press for more information.
She wrapped her arms around her middle. “If I wasn’t concerned some kid might find it, I’d throw the stupid gun out the window.”
“Wouldn’t you know if that was going to happen?”
His lame attempt at humor went unnoticed.
“I can’t see everything that’s going to happen to everyone,” she said.
“I wish you could see more of my future.” From the corner of his eye, he saw her glance over at him, but kept his attention ahead. His grip on the wheel tightened. “You keep saying I won’t turn into the psychopathic maniac Jack described, but you’ve also admitted there are gaps in your visions. And you don’t know how dark my thoughts have become. How can you really be sure?”
“Because we’re going to be together. A couple. And I wouldn’t fall in love with that kind of person.”
He did look at her then. He couldn’t help himself. The sound of the wheels reflecting off the curbs helped him keep the car steady on the road, and his periphery let him see vehicles parked on the street even in the darkness between the streetlights.
Her eyes were relaxed and guileless, her jaw set and lips pressed in a thin line. There was more she knew and wasn’t ready to share, but that had been enough of a bombshell.
“Love?” he said.
Her lips pulled into a slow, sultry smile. “Given the things I’ve seen us do, that’s the only conclusion I can reach. Because I sure as heck wouldn’t do all that with just anyone.”
A deep crimson blush spread up her neck and across her cheeks. He really wanted to pull the car over again. Instead, he looked back out the front windshield.
Jack had said a werewolf could shake off being hit, but Miranda was still human. A crash could hurt or kill her.
Darren couldn’t even think about that. But he would have to keep her mortality in mind. Especially if they were going to be lovers—to fall in love.
He’d been in relationships, but he’d never fallen in love before. It had always been too easy to walk away from his girlfriends or let them walk away from him when he wasn’t attentive enough.
Miranda was different.
He could easily see himself falling for her, wanting to spend the rest of his life with her. But her life would be short. Measured in human years. Her presence was already keeping him stable. What would happen when she passed?
“You’re doing it again,” she said. “Thinking about something you shouldn’t.”
“I was wondering what I’ll do without you.”
“If I have anything to say about it, you’ll never have to find out.”
“Do your powers make you immortal like me? Because if they don’t, you might not have much control over that.”
“My powers aren’t going to keep me alive. You are.”
“How?”
“You’re going to turn me.”
Darren’s stomach felt like it fell through the bott
om of the car and then was run over by the back tires. How could she say that so flippantly?
“No.” He shook his head. “No way.”
“It’s going to happen. And with everything I have seen, I want it to.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying. The thoughts I have, the urges I’m fighting—“
“Can be dealt with pretty easily by us being…affectionate.”
Affectionate? If the hummer she’d given him in the car was what she saw as affection, he couldn’t imagine what actual sex with her would be like.
Actually, he could imagine it. His dick started to harden as scenarios played through his mind. He had a big bed at his place, soft sheets, a two-person tub they could soak in before, during, and-or after. The kitchen island was pretty spacious, too.
“Okay, I like that look,” she said. “Whatever you’re thinking about now is much better than those other thoughts.”
“Oh, I’m not sure you’d agree if you saw—“
“Me straddling you while you cup my breasts, holding me up? Or the time you’ll bend me over the foot of my bed and… Well, you know.”
His dick was at full attention, straining against his pants. He wished she had said something about the backseat of his car. He’d pull over immediately to bring that vision to life.
“What if I turn you and you have a violent episode when I’m not around?” he said.
Hell, what if he had an episode and she wasn’t around to help him through it? It was getting easier for her to bring him back from the edge, but he was getting there more quickly and often.
“I’ll duck into a broom closet or something and take care of business.”
He turned to stare at her again.
“What?” She shrugged. “As if you’ve never done that before.”
He laughed and shook his head, focusing back on the road. “I don’t need your gift to know one thing about our future together.”
“What’s that?”
“It’ll never be boring.”
Chapter Thirteen
Hearing Darren laugh was one of the best sounds Miranda could remember. That he could do so even given his circumstances was even more reassuring than what her visions showed her.
She could tell that he was scared about the changes happening to him—as anyone would be. She was absolutely terrified.
Beyond the maybe-zombie apocalypse, her own impending transformation, and knowing that fairies were a very real threat, she was already falling in love with Darren. She could feel it—a weakness opening up in her heart, making her vulnerable to pain and loss.
“I really wish this car had a bigger back seat,” Darren said.
“Why?”
She looked over her shoulder into the tiny bench in the back, then to Darren. He shifted in his seat. Her gaze dropped to his lap and the bulge straining against his pants.
If she hadn’t been thinking such maudlin thoughts, she’d be all over him again. But her heart felt tender, and she didn’t have it in her to…have him in her. She let out a nervous laugh at her horrible joke.
“What can I say?” He shrugged and smiled a little sheepishly. “You have a profound effect on me.”
Will shutting him down now set him off?
She shook her head, refusing to see him that way or make any decisions at all based on fear. At least where Darren was concerned.
He had been so insistent that she only do what she wanted to do. He needed to get it through his head that she was actually attracted to him. Powers, werewolves, fairies, whatever else aside, she’d spent plenty of time indulging in carnal fantasies featuring Darren over the weeks they’d known each other.
If he kept thinking their feelings were just a byproduct of unfortunate circumstances, it would color their entire relationship. She could give in to the same doubts, if she let herself. For all she knew, he’d feel the same level of attraction to any woman now that he’d changed.
Crap. She really wished she hadn’t thought of that. An altogether new vulnerability came to her awareness. Another chance to be hurt.
Darren was gorgeous. And yeah, she was pretty, but not in the supermodel way most guys liked. She was short and round and her cheekbones didn’t look like they could cut glass.
Plus, she was a waitress, barely eking out a living, while he was a successful private security…guy. Whatever they were called.
She was so used to focusing on the end result. She never spent time thinking about the origin points, aside from strategizing which path would lead her to the best outcome.
She knew eventually she’d be a werewolf, and she and Darren would be in the same pack. What she didn’t know was anything about the others. For all she knew, the other five were females—his many mates.
That wasn’t a future she could be comfortable with. She wanted a one-on-one commitment based on mutual feelings, not a curse-based attraction heightened by proximity.
“What’s wrong?” he said.
“Before things go any further, I have to know something.”
“What?”
“Did you ever think about me? Before tonight. Did you ever have fantasies that involved me?”
His eyes widened and his jaw went slack. He stammered and looked away, his cheeks actually turning pink.
She’d made a werewolf blush. Miranda wanted to laugh again, but her question was too important.
“Of course I did,” he said.
“There’s no ‘of course’ about it. I need to know if what’s happening between us is just a side-effect of your curse.”
“Miranda…” He shook his head. “I don’t really like eggs all that much.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
He sighed, but the corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile. A dimple appeared in his cheek.
“The first night I stopped by the Red Thread, it was because it was the only restaurant that was open,” he said. “I ordered some skillet meal thing, and you chatted with me. I didn’t come back the next day for the eggs, even though I order the same thing every time. I never really looked at the menu afterwards. I didn’t care what I ate. I just wanted to see you. To spend time with you.”
“Oh.” It was the only word she could manage. The rest seemed to stick in her throat.
She’d been focusing on physical attraction. What he was describing sounded deeper. But then, she never let herself dream too big.
When she’d thought of him, the farthest she’d ever let her fantasies go was dinner, a movie, and then taking him back to her place. She’d loved spending time with him, but had thought nothing could ever come of it. It’d been too painful for her to dream about anything more.
“Scott is my best friend as well as my partner,” Darren said. “We go to lunch together just about every work day. We used to go to dinner a lot, too, or out for drinks with the guys.” He chuckled. “Ever since I started going to The Red Thread every night, I’ve had to come up with so many excuses. I thought about inviting him along, but then realized I wanted you all to myself.”
There was so much about what he was sharing that she loved. Hearing about his life, his friends, his work. Knowing that he wanted to be with her before this all began. It was almost too much to process. She’d been part of his life without even realizing it.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I don’t work every night.”
Darren looked chagrined when he smiled. “I know. But it would have been weird if I only showed up when you were working. I didn’t want to seem like a stalker. I figured if I went every night, people would just think I was a regular if word got back to you. Even when you weren’t there, I thought of you. I couldn’t help it.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.”
“I was working up to asking you out. I wish I had before all of this happened.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Before all this happened, I would have said no.”
His face fell, then darkened. Her heart leapt to her throat—not
because she was afraid, but because she realized that she’d hurt him.
She reached across the space between them, resting her hand on his thigh. His breath hitched.
“That’s not what it sounds like,” she said. “I would have wanted to say yes. More than anything. But my powers…”
Tears welled up in her eyes and her throat started to pinch shut. Dammit, she needed to fix this. She closed her eyes and coughed to clear her throat, then forced the words through.
“My powers make it dangerous for me to get close to people. I couldn’t risk it. I wouldn’t risk you.”
She felt like a crack opened along her heart.
She had finally given in and taken the risk when this all started. She had touched him. And then she had sent him to his death. She had thought her worst fear had been realized.
And now he was here with her—alive, strong, immortal. But he was still so raw. He needed all the help he could get to hold on to his humanity.
Would finding out what she had done send him over the edge? Would she lose him after starting to connect in a way she had never let herself dream was possible?
“I don’t understand how it would have been dangerous for me for us to become closer,” he said.
“Because it would have made you another resource for my powers to draw on. If you were part of my life, you’d be written into my visions.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“Until something comes up like that accident you pulled me from.” It felt like so long ago, even though it had only been… Less than two days? That didn’t seem possible.
“You had a vision about your accident?”
“Not my accident. Not originally.” Her insides felt hollow as she remembered. “It was supposed to be the minivan that was behind me in the intersection. The one with the kids and the soccer mom.”
Darren looked over at her, his eyes wide. She couldn’t hold his gaze. She hugged herself as she looked out the window.
“I went through as many versions as I could handle, but the only way I could save everybody was to be the one who was hit.”
Forbidden Instinct (Forbidden Knights Book 1) Page 12