Alien Attack!

by Alan MacDonald

  CONTENTS

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  FACT FILE: THE INVINCIBLES

  DANGERBOY (aka Stan)

  SPECIAL POWERS: Radar ears that sense danger

  WEAPON OF CHOICE: Tiddlywinks

  STRENGHTS: Survival against the odds

  WEAKNESSES: Never stops worrying

  SUPER RATING: 53

  FRISBEE KID (aka Minnie)

  SPECIAL POWERS: Deadly aim

  WEAPON OF CHOICE: ‘Frisbee anyone?’

  STRENGTHS: Organised, bossy

  WEAKNESSES: See above

  SUPER RATING: 56

  BRAINIAC (aka Miles)

  SPECIAL POWERS: Super brainbox

  WEAPON OF CHOICE: Quiz questions

  STRENGTHS: Um . . .

  WEAKNESSES: Hates to fight

  SUPER RATING: 41.3

  PUDDING THE WONDERDOG

  SPECIAL POWERS: Sniffing out treats

  WEAPON OF CHOICE: Licking and slobbering

  STRENGTHS: Obedience

  WEAKNESSES: World-class wimp

  SUPER RATING: 2

  Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth, the trainee superheroes of Mighty High were on an exciting school trip with their head teacher.

  ‘Well, this is it,

  said Miss Marbles, leading them into the vast crowded hall. ‘Almost every superhero on the planet is probably in this building somewhere.’

  Stan looked around. Most people had come dressed in superhero costumes, so it was hard to tell which were actually famous. He’d been looking forward to this trip for weeks. There were stalls selling books, posters, silk capes, masks, signed photos and deadly hypno-rings for £1.99. He picked up a packet from a nearby stall and read the label.

  ‘Hey, check out this bubblegum,’ he said, showing Minnie.

  ‘Bionic?’ said Minnie. ‘It’s probably as bionic as your brain.’

  ‘Are you buying that or not?’ demanded the stallholder – a man wearing a pair of ears that lit up like fairy lights.

  ‘How much is it?’ asked Stan.

  ‘One ninety-five.’

  ‘For a packet of bubblegum?’ said Minnie.

  ‘It’s bionic, love,’ said the man. ‘Can’t you read?’

  Stan handed over the money. He still had some left, which he was saving to get a copy of Captain Courageous’s latest book: BORN SUPER! Ever since Stan was old enough to wear a cape he’d idolised Captain Courageous and dreamed of meeting him.

  Now here he was, a pupil at Mighty High School, training to join the ranks of tomorrow’s superheroes. Soon after he had started at Mighty High, he’d made firm friends with Miles, Minnie and Pudding the Wonderdog. Together they’d formed the Invincibles, probably the greatest superhero gang in their class (and certainly the only one).

  Stan pointed to a life-sized picture of a superhero with his fist raised to the sky.

  ‘ He’s actually here,’ he cried. ‘Captain Courageous!’

  The sign said his idol would be signing books in the main hall at two o’clock.‘What are we waiting for?’ asked Minnie. ‘Let’s go!’

  Miles looked around anxiously. ‘Um … actually, I need the toilet.’

  They walked past rows of souvenir stalls to reach the main hall. Stan stared in disbelief.

  ‘You’re kidding me!’ he groaned. The queue snaked twice round the hall and back down the corridor.

  ‘We’ll have to wait hours to meet him,’ said Minnie.

  ‘But it’s Captain Courageous, we can’t give up now,’ argued Stan.

  ‘Sorry, but I really really need the toilet,’ said Miles, jiggling around.

  ‘Hurry up, then,’ sighed Minnie. ‘We’ll be in the queue.’

  Miles headed off down the corridor as Stan rubbed his ear. ‘You’re doing it again,’ said Minnie.

  ‘What?’

  ‘That thing you always do with your ears.’

  Stan shrugged. ‘I can’t help it, they started itching just now.’

  Ever since he was little his ears had warned him when something bad was about to happen. Sometimes it only turned out to be Brussels sprouts for dinner, but occasionally it was a lot worse. It had earned him the nickname .

  Minnie laughed. ‘This place is crawling with superheroes. What could possibly go wrong?’ she said.

  *

  Meanwhile, Miles had finally located the boys’ toilets. He came out of a cubicle and went to a basin to wash his hands.

  Suddenly the walls shook as if an elephant had sat down, and brilliant white light flooded the room. Miles screwed up his eyes, holding on to the basin for support. Was it an earthquake? What was happening? Eventually the floor stopped shaking. Going to the window, he stood on tiptoe and peered out. The car park looked like any normal car park, with rows of cars, a ticket machine, half a dozen coaches and a spaceship parked under a lamp post.

  Where in Zog’s name did that come from? thought Miles. He looked around, half expecting to see police cars arrive with their sirens wailing. Nothing happened. He wondered if he ought to fetch someone – a teacher, or maybe the car park attendant?

  But it wasn’t the kind of thing that anyone would believe – a spaceship parked outside the leisure centre. In any case Miles had always wanted to see a flying saucer, and this was his chance.

  Standing on one of the toilet seats, Miles managed to heave himself up to a window ledge and wriggle out. The spaceship sat steaming in the sunlight. It was enormous. Miles crept closer.

  Suddenly a door in the craft slid open. Miles ducked behind a car just in time to see two strange creatures emerge. Aliens! Miles knew they were aliens by their green skin and their weird taste in clothes – basically, they weren’t wearing any. They had large melon-shaped heads and sticky suckers in place of hands and feet. They oozed down the ramp with a sound like fish slithering down a wall.

  The aliens looked about them and caught sight of a giant billboard. It showed Captain Courageous advertising Titan Hair Gel for Men. They stared at it, talking in weird high voices. Obviously Miles couldn’t understand a word, as he didn’t speak Alien.

  Miles raised his head above the car bonnet, trying to work out what they were doing. He wished Stan and Minnie were here to see this. Aliens from another planet! They would never believe him in a million years. Unless …

  Miles felt in his pocket for the new mobile phone he’d got for Christmas. So far he’d only received three text messages, which were all from his mum – but the phone had a built-in camera. If he could just get near enough he could take a picture.

  He crept forward to the next row of cars. The aliens were so close he could see the greens of their eyes. Slowly, he raised his head, holding the mobile phone high in the air. Trying to stop his arm trembling he took a picture …

  Uh-oh, he should have remembered the camera phone made a noise. Nine green eyes whipped round and fastened on him.

  hissed the aliens. Miles thought of making a run for it, but when people did that in films they usually got zapped before they got far. Besides, maybe the aliens were friendly? Miles raised his hands above his head in surrender.

  ‘It’s OK!’ he said. ‘I’m not going to hurt you. I, er … I come in peace!’

  It was hard to tell if the aliens understood.

  said the smaller one, pointing to Miles.

  Miles held out his mobile phone.

  ‘I only wanted to take your picture,’ he expla
ined. ‘You know – picture? I can show you if you like?’

  The aliens oozed towards him with a sucking, squelchy noise. Possibly they wanted to take a selfie to show their alien chums back home?

  Miles wasn’t exactly sure how to greet aliens, so he nodded, smiled and bowed at the same time. One of the aliens stuck out his tongue, which was long, green and disgustingly sticky. Suddenly it snaked out and attached itself to Miles’s forehead.

  The next moment his feet left the ground and he was flying through the air. He hit the gravel and was dragged across the car park towards the spaceship.

  ‘Wait! Let’s talk …’ he pleaded as he was hauled up the ramp. The door of the spaceship yawned open.

  The next moment it slid shut with a hiss and Miles found himself in utter darkness. He hoped this was the alien way of inviting you round for supper.

  Stan, Minnie and Pudding waited to get on the coach. They’d wasted half the morning queuing to meet Captain Courageous, only to be told the books had sold out and their idol had left for a chat show.

  Miss Marbles counted the class as they got on.

  ‘Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven … Someone’s missing,’ she said. ‘Who is not here? Hands up!’

  Tank raised his hand. ‘I’m not, miss,’ he said.

  ‘Don’t be stupid, Tank,’ said Miss Marbles. ‘This is a serious matter. Who isn’t back?’

  Stan looked up. ‘I think it’s Miles, miss. We lost him earlier.’

  ‘Lost him? How did you lose him?’ asked the head teacher.

  ‘Well, he went to the toilet and never came back,’ explained Stan.

  He didn’t think anyone could get lost going to the toilet, but with Miles nothing would surprise him. His head was so stuffed with useless information there was no room for common sense.

  Miles was the only person he knew who had ‘right’ and ‘left’ written on the soles of his shoes so he wouldn’t put them on the wrong feet.

  Stan rubbed his ear. There was the tingling feeling again, warning him that something was wrong. What if Miles had landed himself in some kind of trouble or locked himself in a toilet and couldn’t get out? Pudding the Wonderdog suddenly leapt on to a seat and barked excitedly.

  ‘Look, there he is!’ cried Minnie, pointing.

  Everyone rushed to the window to look. Miles was walking away from them down the road.

  Actually, he was walking IN the road. Drivers honked their horns and swerved to avoid him as he wandered through the traffic like a sleepwalker.

  ‘MILES! Get back here this minute!’ shouted Miss Marbles, leaning out of the coach. Miles stopped in his tracks and turned his head. He changed direction, cutting across two lanes of traffic.

  Back on the coach, Miss Marbles gave Miles a long lecture about road safety. Usually when Miles was in trouble he turned red as a beetroot, but this time he stared blankly at the head teacher as if she were speaking Ancient Greek. Eventually Miss Marbles told him to go and sit down.

  Miles came down the aisle and would have walked straight past Stan if he hadn’t grabbed him by the arm.

  ‘Hey, Brainbox, I saved you a seat,’ said Stan.

  Miles blinked at him through his round glasses. ‘Seat?’ he repeated.

  ‘Yes, a seat, Dumbo. Sit down,’ said Stan.

  Miss Marbles was watching them impatiently, wanting to set off. Stan pulled Miles down into the seat beside him.

  ‘How do you do-do?’ asked Miles, offering his hand.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Me Miles, peas to meet you,’ said Miles.

  ‘What are you on about?’ sighed Stan. ‘And where have you been all this time?’

  ‘Where have you beans?’ replied Miles.

  ‘Right here, waiting for YOU,’ said Stan. ‘We were starting to get worried.’

  The coach set off. Miles stared out of the window at the passing cars, making little beeping noises to himself. Minnie leaned forward from the seat behind.

  ‘What’s up with him?’ she whispered.

  ‘Don’t ask me; his brain’s overheated,’ said Stan. ‘Maybe he walked into a door or something.’

  While Miles continued beeping at cars, Stan pulled out the packet of bubblegum he’d bought earlier. He wondered how bionic bubblegum was different to any other kind, but there was nothing on the packet except a warning not to chew indoors. The coach wasn’t exactly indoors, thought Stan. Checking that Miss Marbles wasn’t looking, he tore open the packet. Inside were four foil-wrapped sticks of gum.

  ‘Anyone want to try some bionic gum?’ asked Stan, lowering his voice.

  ‘No, thanks,’ said Minnie. ‘I bet it tastes like old soap.’

  Stan didn’t have a chance to find out because Miles grabbed the packet from his hand.

  Before Stan could stop him he crammed two sticks of bubblegum into his mouth.

  ‘Hey!’ cried Stan. ‘You’re meant to take off the paper!’

  ‘Gubblebum,’ said Miles, putting out his tongue, which had turned blue.

  ‘It’s supposed to be bionic,’ said Stan. ‘You have to chew it.’

  replied Miles, his jaw working as he chewed.

  ‘Told you it was a waste of money,’ sighed Minnie. ‘Not even a tiny bubble.’

  ‘He’s not doing it right,’ said Stan. ‘Try blowing, Miles, like this.’ he demonstrated, making an ‘O’ shape with his lips. Miles copied.

  A small blue bubble bloomed from his mouth and promptly popped, making him jump.

  ‘Not so fast,’ said Stan. ‘Do it slowly.’

  Miles tried again. This time he got the hang of it and the bubble started to grow before their eyes. It swelled to the size of a tennis ball. That would have been impressive but it didn’t stop there. The bubble kept inflating like a giant blue balloon. Miles had gone cross-eyed with the effort and his glasses had steamed up.

  ‘Amazing!’ said Stan. ‘I told you it was bionic!’

  Minnie was keeping her eye on Miss Marbles. They weren’t allowed sweets on the coach.

  ‘OK, you win, but shouldn’t you get him to stop?’ she asked.

  Miles wasn’t listening. The bionic bubble kept growing, swelling at an alarming rate. Stan’s classmates had noticed and were nudging each other, turning round in their seats to look.

  ‘Enough now, Miles,’ said Stan. ‘You’ll get us in trouble.’

  But the bionic bubblegum wasn’t finished. The bubble was starting to rise and Miles was going with it, floating out of his seat.

  ‘Quick, Stan, grab him,’ hissed Minnie.

  Stan tried but it was no use. Miles kept rising till he was spreadeagled on the ceiling like an astronaut in zero gravity. Meanwhile, the bionic bubble was still getting bigger. Stan was just wondering how Miles would get down when …

  The bubble popped, splattering Miles’s startled face with gummy goo. He fell off the ceiling, landing on top of them in a tangle of arms and legs.

  Stan looked up to see Miss Marbles standing over them, wearing a cross expression.

  ‘Really!’ she said. ‘I have told you before not to chew gum on the coach! I hope that’s a lesson to you, Miles.’

  Miles climbed off Minnie and wiped a glob of sticky blue goo from his hair.

  ‘Gubblebum,’ he said, putting it in his mouth. Back in their seats, Minnie and Stan looked worried. Miles was certainly behaving strangely.

  First he’d wandered off down the middle of a busy road, then he’d talked gibberish and got stuck to the roof of the coach. Stan hoped he wasn’t planning anything else before they got back to school.

  ‘Are you OK, Miles?’ he asked.

  ‘Hokay,’ replied Miles. ‘Captain K-Juice.’ He pressed his face to the window again.

  Miss Marbles clapped her hands to get their attention.

  ‘Now, while we’re all he
re I’d like to go over one or two things,’ she said. ‘As I’m sure you’re all aware, this Friday you’ll be taking your Heroes.’

  The class looked at her blankly.

  ‘Your ,’ said the head teacher. ‘Your .’

  ‘What exams?’ asked Stan, voicing the question on everyone’s lips. It was only the summer term – their third at Mighty High – and nobody had mentioned exams.

  Miss Marbles frowned and took off her glasses.

  ‘Didn’t you get a letter home about this?’ she asked. ‘No? Well anyway, all pupils must sit their Heroes in their first year. You need to pass these exams if you wish to remain at Mighty High.’

  Stan felt his stomach flip over. Exams? He was hopeless at exams! It was Monday now, so if the exams were on Friday they only had a few days to prepare for them!

  One thing he’d learned about Mighty High was that nothing was ever predictable. Exams could mean anything at all – from reciting your times tables to facing killer robots.

  When Stan had come for his interview, Miss Marbles had invited him to run head first into a brick wall. Who knew what HEROES might involve?

  Minnie had her hand in the air.

  ‘But what kind of exams, miss?’ she asked. ‘Will it be answering questions?’

  ‘Naturally, questions, among other things,’ said Miss Marbles, vaguely. ‘But don’t look so worried. I’m sure that you’ll pass with flying colours – most of you. Of course, there is always a practical because we need to test how your superpowers are developing. And speaking of that, please remember your crash helmets tomorrow. Professor Bird will be taking your first lesson.’