by Lisa Simmons
“I won’t,” he said again. I was so frustrated I felt like screaming.
“Reece!” I nearly shouted. “Stop saying that, you can’t know that. I know you don’t think anything serious can happen to you and I know that you would do anything in a second for me and I love you for that, but if you do something and something bad happens, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. I love you too much to let you put yourself in a dangerous situation for me.”My frustration was mirrored on his face and it was clear he felt everything I was saying but in the opposite respect.
“So you know how I feel, then,” he responded tightly, his jaw clenching and unclenching before he continued. “You feel exactly how I do, so how can you expect me to just sit by and wait for something worse to happen? I won’t do that, Abby.”“I just want you for once to give in to me, Reece. Just once, do what I ask and don’t do anything,” I begged. If he agreed to this, I swore to myself I would never ask him for anything again. If he agreed to this, I would do anything he wanted because he would be safe. He stared at me in silence, mulling over my pleading words.
“Please Reece, don’t go looking for a fight because you’ll find one and it can’t end well.”
He blinked, observing my face closely as he thought. My heart felt like it was pounding a thousand miles an hour and I was sure it was about to burst through my ribcage. My eyes never left his intense gaze as I waited for his response. “Abby, I can’t let it go,” he finally said. My heart plummeted in my chest before shattering into a thousand pieces at the bottom of my stomach. My jaw quivered as more tears took over, forcing their way down my cheeks as I struggled to pull in a full breath. He wouldn’t agree. He would look for a way to retaliate and end all of this despite being vastly outnumbered. I blinked as I remembered I had yet to tell him about the interaction with Samuel and his crew of scary looking friends at the mall. Samuel’ threat not to tell Reece about it echoed in my brain, chilling me to my bones and scaring me even more. As afraid as I was of Samuel’ threat, I couldn’t help but think the information was the only thing that could maybe convince Reece to not pursue them.
“Reece, it’s not just Jack and Samuel. They have these big, scary looking friends and you’re outnumbered at least ten to one. There’s no way anything will end well if you go after them, please don’t do anything,” I pleaded, rushing my words out in hopes to still his inevitable reaction when he realized I had seem them again. “Wait, how do you know about those guys?” he asked, blinking slowly before narrowing his eyes at me. I took a deep breath.
“I saw them at the mall earlier today and Samuel practically told me they’ll back them up for pretty much anything. I’m so scared for you, Reece, I can’t let you do anything to put yourself in danger,” I said quickly. The words rushed past my lips as I began to feel more and more panicked at the thought of Reece going up against at least ten guys. His fight against one man had been enough to nearly give me a heart attack, so I couldn’t imagine how terrified I would be if he tried to do something against all of them. “And before you get mad,” I continued. “I was going to tell you but then when I got here Luke was over and then everything happened so... I’m telling you now.”
While it was true that I hadn’t actually made up my mind earlier if I should tell him or not because of Samuel’ threat, I began to feel more and more that I would have told him regardless of what happened tonight. We had gone through too many situations just like this where I had lied or resisted telling him, and I wouldn’t have wanted to do that again. Just because the decision to tell him now had been out of pure desperation to keep him safe didn’t mean I wouldn’t have chosen to tell him anyway. “I’m not mad,” he said slowly. “What did they say to you? Those guys are dangerous, Abby.”
His voice was tight once again and his intense gaze never seemed to waver from mine. His hand had fallen from my cheek to rest lightly over the side of my neck, but the light movements of his thumb had halted long ago as our conversation grew more and more intense. “I didn’t talk to them... just Samuel. He said basically what he’s said before... that they don't want us together,” I said truthfully. I left out the blatant threat toward Reece because I was certain that would only encourage him to act even more. “Wait, you know who I’m talking about? Those guys?”“Yeah,” he admitted. “Samuel used to hang out with them a lot before he started to hang out with Luke and I. Luke said a while ago that he saw Samuel with them again.”
I tried not to feel angry at the fact that Reece hadn’t told me about this. It felt like an unfair double standard- I had to tell him about everything that happened to me but he hadn’t bothered to tell me about Samuel hanging out with this sketchy crew. “Why didn’t you tell me you already knew that?” I asked, focusing on keeping my tone even.
“I didn’t want to scare you anymore,” he said instantly, as if it were obvious. I sighed, letting go of my anger. He was, as always, only trying to protect me.
“So if they’re so dangerous, then you definitely can’t do anything,” I said, appealing to his logical side. He watched me closely as his hand shifted gently up to the side of my face. His fingers were careful as they shifted my hair out of my face, his actions stalling his response. “It’s so hard for me to agree with you when the thought of anything happening to you makes me physically sick,” he said quietly. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Abby.”
My heart clenched tightly in my chest, his honest words making my heart glow and break all at the same time. I knew, without a doubt, that he was telling the truth and that meant more to me than words could explain, but it also terrified me. He would put himself in extreme danger for me just as I would for him.
“I love you so much,” I said softly, melting into his touch. “I just want you to be safe.”
“I know you do,” he said. “We’re both too stubborn for our own good.”
His words were gentle and honest, the soft touch of his fingers adding to the intensity of the conversation. The words we had exchanged were so loaded with so many different emotions that it was difficult to separate them.
“We definitely are,” I agreed. His eyes were focused on mine as he shifted closer to me, dropping his forehead to mine. I could feel the soft caress of his breath on my face as I tried to calm my constantly pounding heart. All I wanted was for him to promise he wouldn’t do anything, but he wouldn’t; he wouldn’t give me the peace of mind that he would be, relatively, safe. “I’m gonna keep you safe, Abby,” he whispered, his eyes burning into mine. Tears pinched at my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time. It seemed like no matter what I said, he was intent on acting for me, and the thought absolutely terrified me. “And I'll keep you safe, Reece,” I said quietly. He sighed as he leaned forward to press his lips to mine gently, lingering there as he absorbed the feelings flooding between us, pausing our heavy conversation. This battle between us wasn’t going to be solved tonight, our determination and stubborn intensity stopping us from coming to an agreement. He wouldn’t give in and neither would I, and this was far from over. For now, we would settle in to each other and let the heat from our bodies flow between us. For now, we were safe and we were together, even if both of us refused to indulge the other.
“I love you,” he whispered, his lips mumbling against mine as he pulled back just enough to speak. Even now, in my frustration and determination, my heart thumped at his words.
“I love you too, Reece.”
"When the sun goes down and the shadows grow, just trust in us and forever know... please keep holding on to me."
Chapter 57
Time seemed to have no meaning as the night dragged on. We both lay awake in each other’s arms for what felt like hours before Reece’s breathing finally evened out and sleep overtook him. We were tangled together in every way possible, just as we had been the entire night. Once we had given up on trying to convince the other of our own way, we had laid together in silence to let our bodies attempt to convey the deter
mined pleas of our mindsets.
The mood had been oddly comfortable and thick with tension all at the same time; it was as if the frustration was seeping from our pores and flooding the air around us, the heavy weight of it lingering in the bed. I didn’t know what to say to him to get him to agree with me and take no actions against Jack and Samuel, but the stress of it was getting to me. I could feel it in every breath I took- the gut-twisting feeling of something inevitable that I was grasping at straws to prevent. It was what kept me from falling asleep despite being comfortably wrapped in Reece’s arms. He lay on his back, his strong limbs holding me practically completely on top of him. My leg fell between his, my thigh pressed between his as even his legs held on to me by wrapping around my own. I could feel the heat of his skin on his chest against my cheek as I laid my head there, my arms wound around his neck as his clung around my torso. I was afraid to move because it had taken him so long to actually fall asleep and I didn’t want to wake him. I could feel it in the tightness of his grip on me how much this was affecting him as well; he wanted me to cave and listen to him while I wanted the exact opposite. Both of us refused to bend to the other’s will because we were both so intent on protecting the other. I shifted slowly and held my breath without realizing as I moved slightly up his body. My elbows propped me up as they rested on either side of his head. A quiet sigh left my lips when I saw he was still asleep. My eyes shifted across his face in his vulnerable, unguarded state. Still, after everything I’d been through with him, I found it hard to believe how different he could look when he was asleep.
His face was wiped clean of any facial expressions I had come to know; there was no sign of any smirk, grin, brow furrow, or any of the other intense expressions he frequently wore. All that remained on his face now was a beautiful innocence- a clean slate that left a vast possibility for conveying whatever he felt. His muscles in his sharp jaw were slack, and the usual knee-weakening clench of the joint was gone. The lack of tone in his muscles allowed his full, rosy lips to part slightly. Soft tufts of air whispered through them as he slept, the quiet whoosh that sounded with each breath something I frequently fell asleep to. His brows, which were often either pulled down low as he studied me or wiggling around his forehead as he laughed, were settled in their natural place, the soft bristles of hair unruly and perfectly boyish. There was no tension around his eyes as the lids fluttered slightly in his sleep, the smooth backs of them masking his breathtaking eyes that could convey thousands of words in a simple look. The enviable full lashes rested lightly against the soft skin under his eyes, which tonight was tinted slightly darker because of his mental exhaustion. Every inch of his skin was beautiful to me, the soft, smooth texture of it hindered by a light smattering of stubble along his chin and jaw. A tiny mole decorated his lower left cheek, and I found my hand unwinding gently from beneath his neck to allow my fingers to pass over it. The warm wisp of air that passed his lips hit my hand as I did so and I couldn’t help but sigh, pleased he had finally reached a peaceful slumber.
What appeared to be a stereotypical college guy to the world was so much more than that to me. To the world, he was just another attractive guy who could get whatever he wanted, whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He was nothing of substance, just another player who would peak in college only to spend the rest of his life alone. He wasn’t interesting, he had nothing else to offer besides looks and experience in bed, he wasn’t capable of love and probably didn’t deserve it.
To the world, he wasn’t a person; he was just another body, an attractive one, granted, but just another body. To everyone else, there might have been sawdust inside his head. What else could such an attractive person possibly have to offer? He would be dehumanized, his personality and beautifully unique mind robbed of their individuality as he was labeled haphazardly with no further consideration. The world saw him as the shell of who he was, no better and no worse, but in all reality so extremely incorrect in every way. How incredibly, incredibly wrong the world was.
I felt a pang in my heart as I was struck once again by my depth of love for this person sleeping beneath me. It didn’t seem possible that someone so physically beautiful could hold all the things inside that I had been craving without even knowing. He was infectious, charismatic, magnetic, electric; he was wild and mysterious, parts of him still unknown yet he was like an open book to me now. There were times when I could see him battling with himself, as if he were afraid he'd revert to the old ways like he'd been a completely different person.
He was wrong, though. There never was a distinction between who he was and who he is now; the Reece I knew and loved had always been there, buried down deep inside him waiting for someone to unveil it, waiting for someone to dig him out of the depth of things he’d done to entertain himself before- waiting for me. Thinking about it now, I had no doubt that he was the one I was meant to be with. He and I were made be together, and it became more and more clear every day. He brought out a side of me I hadn’t even known existed until I’d met him but couldn’t image not having today. I was exactly who I was supposed to be with him, and I got the sense that he was the same with me. Together, we were free- free from the pressures of the world and what it says a relationship should be. He made me happy, and I was certain I had never been nor ever would be loved the way he loved me. It was so obvious he was the only one for me; every word, every touch, every look proved that to me. We could easily slip from happy and playful into a desperate, burning need to be together in the most primal way possible. We could laugh, we could play, we could do absolutely nothing and be completely content. We were unconventional- every aspect of our relationship was not what was considered normal. We had no title and we had started with a feigned ignorance of emotions. We felt too strongly, loved too hard, needed each other too much, but it didn’t matter. He was the other half of me, and I was certain I would never feel whole if I were to ever be parted from him. I was surprised when I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I had been unaware of when exactly I’d started the silent crying, but there was no denying the wetness on my skin. Thinking about these things made me extremely emotional; what had absolutely terrified me in the beginning now made me feel like I was glowing enough to illuminate the entire world. My intense love for him had tilted my entire world, the shift in my life only able to be set right by the balance of his love for me. This was where I was meant to be. I sniffed quietly and took a deep breath, my eyes refocusing on his features after my vision had become foggy with my thoughts. The deep pink of his lips found my attention and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning down to press mine into his. The kiss was feather light and lacked any response from the sleeping man, but it still managed to set a jolt through my body. I smiled softly to myself, completely overwhelmed by my emotions and the events of the past few days.
Whatever was going to happen, I knew it would be okay. We would fight over this again, I knew, but we would get through it together because that’s what people who love each other do. It probably wouldn’t be easy, but I knew we’d find a way to get through this. Of the few things I was certain of, that was one. That, and the fact that I would do absolutely anything in the world to keep him safe. I blew out another sigh as I let my eyes travel down his sleeping features once more. My lips connected with the tiny mole on his jaw before I laid my head back down against his chest, resuming my previous position. I could hear the steady beating of his heart beneath his ribs, the sound familiar and comforting. An odd sense of calm overtook me after my seemingly endless loop of thoughts. My eyes closed and my mind slowed, the last thing I thought of was the way Reece’s hands felt across my lower back as I finally drifted off to sleep. My calm state from falling asleep didn’t carry over to my sleep, though. My night was filled with flashes of flying fists, whispered threats, and a bloody, bruised Reece. The shadowy faces of Jack, Samuel, and their numerous un-named friends lurked in the background of everything that was going on. Everything I was afraid of seemed to come alive in my
nightmares. “I told you this would happen,” Jack sneered, his face suddenly right in front of me. His breath was acrid on my face as he used his foot to kick Reece in the side. Whatever attempt I made at screaming was drowned out by an unidentified hand clamped over my mouth, forcing me to watch in strangled silence as a seemingly endless amount of blows landed all over Reece’s body. Strangled grunts left Reece’s lips as he made no attempt at defending himself. I struggled against whoever was holding me to no avail as I watched in horror, completely useless and absolutely to blame. Reece’s eyes met mine, the dark green full of blame and hurt.
“Why did you let this happen, Abigail?” he asked, his voice strained and tight before a huff of air was forced from his lungs thanks to yet another blow to his ribcage. I shook my head, my words cut off by the hand still pressed over my lips. I’ll never let this happen, Reece.
I wanted so desperately to tell him that, but I couldn’t. My throat wouldn’t form the words and my mouth was blocked by a man who was quickly identified as Jack.
“Watch it happen. This is your fault,” he sneered in my ear as he held my face forward. My body froze in horror as I watched Samuel and several men I recognized but couldn’t identify continue their assault on Reece. Kicks and punches landed on his body while he grew stiller and stiller. I struggled to breathe as I watched his limp body press into the ground, the subtle movement of his chest stalling as he quit breathing.