by Lisa Simmons
“Here,” I said, sniffing once as I tried to gather myself. I pulled my arms from around her waist and reopened the box that had snapped shut in my haste to kiss her. My hand still shook as I pulled the ring from where it at sat snugly, and it glittered beautifully between my thumb and index finger as I held it. I glanced at her face and watched her as I reached for her left hand. Her right hand flew up to cover her mouth, and her eyes were wide beneath raised eyebrows. Three shaking hands were extended before us: Abigail’s left gripped in my own trembling hand as my other slid the ring onto her fourth finger, it’s fit perfect thanks to the information I’d obtained from her mother months ago. There it sat, the ring that symbolized the promise we’d made long ago- to stay together forever.
“Oh my god,” she whispered, her voice laden with emotion and tears. Her gaze darted up to meet mine after staring transfixed at her hand, and I felt my heart fly up in my chest once again. “Is this real?”
I let out a watery laugh, positively giddy with emotion and ridiculously light as I held her gaze. “This is real, Abby.”
“I love you so much, Reece,” she said quickly before her hands landed on either side of my jaw where she hauled me downward to kiss her. Her lips landed on mine and my body responded immediately as my arms wound around her waist to haul her tightly into me. I had no control as I lifted her off the ground, arching my back and hugging her to me while never breaking the kiss.
“I love you, Abby,” I murmured against her lips, breaking the kiss only long enough for the words to get out. The kiss was hard, passionate, and full of every emotion we’d ever felt in this journey. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
I could feel the wetness from her tears against my skin as she continued to let them fall, making no effort to stop them or wipe them away as we kissed. My grip on her was so tight it was probably borderline painful, but she never protested as she clung to me desperately. My mind seemed to be in a haze, unable to process that this incredible girl had just agreed to let me marry her. This girl, this amazing woman, had agreed to let me be hers forever. My Abigail, forever.
That was the happiest day of my life.
Or so I thought. That moment, which would forever be cemented in my mind as one of the greatest things ever to happen to me, would only be topped by another about a year later. There are no words to describe the relentlessly rolling waves of emotion that racked through my body while watching the absolute love of my life, the other half of my soul, walk down the aisle towards me. There was no doubt in my mind that she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, and I felt it in every bone in my body how incredibly lucky I was to call her mine. That day, I’d been a complete nervous wreck. My lingering fears from years ago had come back to haunt me as I had myself all but convinced she would change her mind and leave. I waited anxiously for Luke, my best man, to come in and tell me she was gone to find herself someone better, but he never did. The grim message was never delivered, because she had done no such thing. Somehow, by the grace of god, she had stayed with me and walked down the aisle to promise to be with me for a lifetime. The moment I saw her walking towards me, all of my doubts and fears had been completely eradicated. She was there, in a stunning white dress that might as well have been a plastic bag for all I noticed, because she was more radiant than anything else could possibly have been.
The world seemed to dull in comparison to the beaming beacon of light that was coming towards me. I’ll never forget the smile on her face as she did so: it was too wide, too blissfully happy, and not at all what the picturesque, under control bride should have worn, but it was perfect. It showed her true emotions, her true ecstatic feelings and it could not have been any more beautiful. Her eyes that had always revealed so much to me were beaming straight into my own, tears already starting to form as she tried and failed to reign in her happiness. It had taken everything in me not to kiss her the moment she arrived next to me, not to beg the priest to hurry up before she changed her mind. Every ounce of self-control I had went into waiting patiently before saying the fateful promise, and my heart nearly soared out of my chest when she said the words first. “I, Abigail Campbell, take you, Reece Evans, to be my husband. I revel in the knowledge that you’ll be my constant friend, my loyal partner, and my one true love. I promise to love you without reservation, honor and respect you, provide for you, protect you from any harm, comfort you in times of distress, grow with you when times are tough, be honest with you when it’s hard, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live. I promise to never leave your side, and to love you with everything I have until my last breath.”Never in my life had I heard more beautiful words, each one sending a spark of fire through my veins until eventually I was certain I couldn’t take it any more. Love so strong flowed through me that I felt I would surely combust before I had the chance to return my vows. My eyes remained locked on hers as she waited for me to speak, her face positively glowing as she watched me. It was as if we were the only people in the world when I spoke my promise to her.
“I, Reece Evans, take you, Abigail Campbell, to be my wife. I’m secure in the fact that you’ll be my best of friends, my unyielding partner, and my one true love. I promise to love you with everything I have, and to never let you doubt it for a second. I promise to keep you safe, from the world, yourself, and any other threat that may come. I promise to always be there for you, whether it be to kill a spider in the bathroom or in times of true strife. I promise to tell you the truth, always, even if it hurts. I promise to never leave you, to tell you what I’m thinking, and to treat you as you deserve for the rest of my existence. I promise to love you, to keep you, to have you forever, and I promise you will always have my heart until the end of my days.”I wasn’t aware of when it started, but at some point tears had started to fall. I ignored them completely as the priest announced us husband and wife, my body too enraptured with pulling her to me and kissing her, making our promises official forever. In that moment, kissing Abigail at the alter, she became my wife, and I had never been so blissfully exultant.
These memories, these magnificently beautiful memories, were what played through my head on a daily basis. Not a day had passed over the years that I hadn’t thought of them, hadn’t felt the warmth connected to them, or hadn’t looked back in happy contentment on the moments. It had been four years since that day she gave herself completely to me, yet I still felt the same giddy happiness in every cell of my body when I thought of it. Four years later, and it still hadn’t sunk in.
I lay in bed now, the same bed that had become ours in the house that had become ours, and I thought back to those days. It didn’t seem possible that a love could burn so strong, so intensely for over seven years, and it seemed too good to be true.
The bed felt odd now- cold and empty as I lay alone. My arms felt empty, and I could feel the way I felt slightly off balance as I rolled over into nothingness. Even in the dark, I knew she wasn’t there. There was no warmth, no steady breathing, no tangling of her limbs with mine. My heart thumped in my chest at the loss, and I wished desperately she was there in my arms, filling the void I felt both physically and emotionally. My body craved hers, craved the heat she provided and the way her breath would tickle across my throat when she slept. I craved the way she held me in her sleep, her subconscious refusing to let go even in the depths of her dreams. There was no way to replace the feeling as I lay alone, and no matter of tossing and turning could help sooth the ache. The fact of the matter was that sleeping without her felt wrong, unnatural. Cold. With a heavy sigh, I rolled to my stomach and pushed myself up, my arms flexing by my sides as I did so. My body dragged from beneath the covers and my feet landed on the wooden floor with a light creak. I needed to get out of this bed that didn’t feel the same, because trying to sleep in it alone was pointless. Dressed in merely a pair of athletic shorts I’d tried to fall asleep in, I let my feet carry me down towards the door. The house was quiet as I moved through the dark, each floorboa
rd familiar to me after years of living there. I could step to avoid the ones that squeaked, and I did so now. The silence demanded to be heard, and a squeaky floorboard would only serve to offset the quiet balance. I let out a soft sigh as I ran my hand blearily over my face, wiping away the strange haze that had settled over me thanks to my failed attempts to fall asleep alone. No matter how many nights this happened, I never succeeded. I debated heading to the kitchen for a glass of water before deciding against it. It wasn’t water that I wanted- it was Abigail. I veered to the left, pushing my way through a door that was cracked open slightly. I winced as the hinges let out a high-pitched squeal, the sound disturbing the silence that had settled over the house. My feet carried me through the door into the dark room, the only source of light coming from the tiny nightlight plugged into the wall. Hushed breathing hit my ears as I approached closer, the two sets easily distinguishable after hearing the first one for years and years. My gaze landed on them, just as I suspected I would find, and the empty hole I’d felt moments ago seemed to close instantly. There, curled into a miniature bed around a sleeping toddler, was my Abby. My heart seemed to glow as I watched her, my selfish habits of falling asleep with her keeping me from falling asleep properly. She’d taken to helping him fall asleep like this over the last few weeks, only to pass out herself beside him in his bed. I watched as her breath tickled over the fine, dark hairs covering his head, and took in the tiny rise and fall of his chest while he slept. His eyelids fluttered while he slept, covering the clear blue eyes he’d inherited from his mother. The bed was smaller than normal, barely enough to accommodate Abigail and our son, but I couldn’t resist the urge to crawl in silently behind her as I’d done on more than one occasion when I’d found her like this. She didn’t stir as I folded myself around her, winding my arm around he waist and hugging her to me while her arm draped over the sleeping child. She was exhausted lately from work and taking care of our son, who had suddenly become very finicky about sleeping, so she was sound asleep now. The warmth I’d been missing from before came flooding back as I felt her heat, and my heart seemed to speed up still at the feel of her back pressed lightly into my chest. My head rested over her shoulder, and I watched in silent contentment as air whooshed softly out my son’s mouth. Without really meaning to, I pressed my lips into the hollow of Abigail’s throat; I’d missed her the last few nights as she slept in here, and it felt good to have her so close to me once again. She shifted slightly under my touch, and a quiet hum left her throat. My nose nuzzled lightly against the shell of her ear as I heard the change in her breathing, telling me she’d woken up.
“Hey, you,” she whispered, her voice slightly scratchy from sleep.
“Hiiii,” I breathed into her ear, nuzzling my face into her neck before pressing my lips against her skin. She melted into me as she always did, and her fingers pet lightly through the hair on top of the sleeping boy’s head.
“Did I fall asleep in here again?” she asked in a hushed tone.
“Mmhmm,” I confirmed, tightening my arm slightly around her. “I missed you.”
She let out a quiet chuckle and tipped her head to the side so I could hug her even closer. “I’m right here, goof.”
“You know I can’t sleep without you,” I murmured. “Come back to bed, Abby. Teddy will be fine.”
She was quiet for a few seconds as she watched him with a soft smile on her face, her fingers never ceasing their gentle action. He remained sound asleep.
“Come on, baby. I need sleep and I can’t sleep if you’re not there,” I pleaded quietly. Teddy’s strange sleeping schedule had pulled her from me for the past few weeks as he refused to go to sleep unless she was there. More often than not, she fell asleep in here and I didn’t have the heart to separate them. This mean I either slept alone, or cramped into this tiny bed with them, neither of which gave me a very high quality night’s sleep. “Okay,” she breathed quietly. She ducked her head forward and kissed the crown of Teddy’s head softly before pulling back. I smiled in triumph, knowing Teddy wouldn’t miss her now that he was sound asleep. I kissed her neck lightly one last time before unfolding myself from the miniature bed. Once back on my feet, I extended a hand and pulled her up to me. Her ring glinted off the nightlight in the darkness, the symbol reminding me yet again of that blissful day she promised so many things to me, every single one of which she’d upheld to this day. I kept my grip on her hand as I ducked down and tucked the blankets around Teddy to fill the gaps where Abigail had slept to make sure he was plenty warm. Still, after the disturbance of the both of us getting up, he slept soundly. I leaned down to press my lips lightly to his forehead, kissing him gently goodnight before I straightened up again. Abigail beamed silently at me in the dark, her eyes shining even though she was tired and probably still half asleep. Without a word, I pulled lightly on her hand to lead her out of the room and down the hall. As soon as we were through the door, she sighed happily at the sight of our bed, which looked enormous in comparison to the one she’d slept in the last few nights. I tugged on her hand and pulled her the rest of the way to the bed before we both climbed in. Without hesitating, she curled herself into my chest while facing me, both of us lying on our sides. My arm draped over her hip and I felt her arm land lightly on my ribcage as she snuggled into me. Her head rested on my bicep as my arm lay out on the bed, and I could feel the soft whisper of her breath as it washed over my skin. My lips pressed to her forehead as she sighed contentedly. I could feel her slipping away already as sleep pulled her under but she managed to murmur a few words to me.
“I hope Teddy outgrows this sleep thing soon,” she said quietly. Her eyes were closed as I gazed down at her, and her hair had fallen into her face. Automatically, my hand reached forward to brush it back behind her ear.
“Me too,” I whispered in response. Now that she was back in my arms, everything that had felt wrong before had been reversed. This was how we were supposed to be, and it was the only way that felt right. “I’ve missed this so much, baby.”
A quiet contentment settled over me as I reveled in the warmth of her body, the familiarity of this position, and the comforting sounds of her breathing as we lay tangled together in bed. Seven years, a proposal, a wedding, and a child later, I still felt like it was the first night she’d stayed with me for real. She yawned once and before pressing her lips into the base of my throat. “I love you, Reece.”
The simple words never seemed to settle in, never lost their affect no matter how often she said them. Each time I heard the words, my heart fluttered and I felt a flush creep through my skin. Each day I fell more and more in love with her, and every single cell I had was devoted to her, and now, our son, Teddy. Never in a million years did I picture seven years ago that I would end up here, but there were not enough words in the universe to describe how happy I was that I had. “I love you, too, Abby. I love you, too.”
And in that moment, my world was complete- idyllically, serenely, and beautifully whole in every way fathomable.
"So don't you worry, you'll be my redemption."