He missed her so much it actually caused him physical pain. He rarely slept and didn’t leave the house for very much. Jayden had tried to get him to go riding, but he had taken a pass. Jayden was persistent with him though; he had taken to stopping by daily. Sometimes they watched television, sometimes they listened to music, and sometimes they even talked. Andrew was thankful for his presence, but, at the same time, he didn’t want to connect with anyone. He wanted to be left alone. He reasoned that he had no right to feel happy, not after what he had done to Madison.
With a sigh, he put the sheet of paper back in his sketchbook and set it down. He needed to do something before Jayden got there. He had a feeling that Jayden was ready to implement some sort of intervention. He had joked that they needed to go 'out' somewhere, anywhere. Andrew frowned at the thought and then got up to make something to eat. As he threw a sandwich together, he heard a knock on the door. Setting his food down, he walked to the door, figuring it must be Jayden. As the door opened, his breath hitched.
“Madison,” he whispered reverently.
“Andrew,” Madison was barely able to speak, her heart racing at the sight of him.
His face hardened as he looked past her. “What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk. Can I come in?” she held her ground, undeterred.
With a sigh, he shook his head, knowing he would never be able to resist her if they were in the house all by themselves. If they were going to talk he wanted it to be outside where he would have a little more control. He was already feeling himself falter being in such close proximity to her. He glanced at her slightly; enough to see that she was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans and one of his old t-shirts that must have been in the hamper when he left. She was still breathtaking as he quickly looked to the ground, anywhere but directly at her.
Madison was somewhat stunned. This was not going as she had planned. He wasn’t looking at her and he hadn’t invited her in. She took a deep breath and then a small smile came on her face. She would need to initiate Plan B. She ran her hand through her hair, moving it to the side.
“Well, will you drive with me then?” she asked sweetly.
He hesitated for a moment, but as it had done the first day they met, his mouth spoke before his brain had a chance to catch up, “Um, yeah, sure, let me go get my keys,” he replied before walking back into the house.
He banged his head on the wall before snatching his keys and shoving them in his pocket. When he came back out, she was already behind the wheel, strumming her fingers along the dashboard. He walked over casually, trying his best not to run to her, and thwarting his desire to swoop her into his arms. The fire he had felt when they were together was still very present and the energy she was emitting was drawing him closer to her. He needed to make sure he kept his distance and not make eye contact. If he looked at her, he knew his hard façade would crumble, hell, he knew it was close to shattering as is.
Madison watched as he approached her car. He was still so stunningly handsome. He wore a simple white t-shirt with his faded Levis, her favorite pair with the hole in the knee. She noticed that his hair was a tad longer than it had been in New York and she observed that he looked worn down. She didn’t say anything as he got in the vehicle and he immediately looked down and away. He was gazing anywhere but at her. As the car pulled out of the driveway, he turned to the window, staring at the scenery passing by. She kept sneaking glances his way, starting to worry that maybe she shouldn’t have come; concerned that there was a possibility that what he had said in New York had been true, that for him it really was over. She took a deep breath and shook her head slightly.
Andrew was overwhelmed with emotion and found himself drifting off to better times, times where they were together, times where he held her closely and made love to her all night, times where his heart was filled with happiness and purpose. Although he was watching out the window, everything seemed blank to him, nothing familiar, that is, until they stopped and suddenly all things were familiar. His heart dropped into his stomach as he quickly exited the vehicle.
“No, no, no,” he muttered as he paced the length of the car, tugging on his hair with both hands.
“Andrew, you need to talk to me,” Madison said desperately as she came around to where he was.
He shook his head. “You shouldn’t have left New York and this ... bringing me here!”
He turned to her and his eyes were dark but she wasn’t sure if it was out of anger or lust. She had thought desperate times called for desperate measures. She and Callie had assumed that he was putting on his hard exterior to keep everyone away, even Jayden as of late. When Madison had heard that, she knew with every fiber in her being that she had to come to him. She also figured if he wouldn’t talk to her immediately that she would find a way to get him to 'their spot', the place they had made love the first time. A place that held unmistakably powerful memories for the two of them, if he couldn’t listen to her there she would have to accept that it really was over for them.
“You need to talk to me, you can’t just shut me out, Helios,” she stated firmly.
He winced hearing his nickname. “Take me home.”
Madison stood firm. “NO!”
His glare startled her. “No?” he seethed.
Her own anger began to emerge. “That’s right, NO! You owe me an explanation.”
He shook his head. “We need to leave. I already said what I needed to say,” his voice came out cold, laced with fury.
Momentarily frozen by his response, she shook her head and her anger was unleashed. “You said what you needed to say?” she questioned with bile. “Well fuck you, because I don’t believe that shit. You said you loved me, you said you would never leave me, you said I was your life and then suddenly without even talking to me you walk out, like I was nothing to you,” she yelled in a heated rage.
He closed his eyes and she came right in front of him. “Tell me; tell me right now that you don’t love me.” She pushed against his chest, his body stiffened but he wouldn’t look up at her. “Tell me it’s over, to my face, Andrew. You look me in the fucking eyes and say that we’re done and it will be,” she spewed passionately.
“It’s over,” he muttered to the ground.
“Bullshit, Andrew, bull-fucking-shit!” she screeched as she kneeled down, close enough to look him in the eyes, her anger subsiding at the look of torture on his face. “Look at me, please,” she begged, the tears just under the surface. “I love you, Andrew. I never stopped loving you. Please, I don’t want to let us go, but if you really want it to be over, I’ll have to accept that and ... leave.”
Their eyes finally met and his body slouched. She was staring at him, her deep and penetrating eyes enchanting him, and releasing everything he tried so diligently to hold back, shattering once and for all, the wall around his heart, as if there had never been a fortress there to begin with. Her eyes were pleading, pleading for his love, and he couldn’t resist her as the last of his resolve crumbled.
His hand cupped her face. “I never stopped loving you.”
Tears fell immediately as she launched herself onto him. Her lips crashed against his of their own accord. She had longed for him for so many months, as if a part of her was missing, a phantom piece of her soul; a memory of what was once there but long gone. She had barely functioned, barely lived, until her existence became unbearable. She couldn’t figure out what was holding her in New York when her heart was in California. He was her world and where he was, she would be. As his hand gripped her hair tightly and his kiss became more urgent, she knew that he felt the same way.
He lifted her up and her long legs wrapped around his waist. He turned and pushed her back against the car as his mouth worked down her neck. Her body was already vibrating to his touch, missing the electricity that he always sparked within her. His chest heaved as a deep and carnal growl came forth, the flame of passion igniting within him, setting him on fire like the phoenix on his arm
. He was being reborn, once again, with her, for her, because of her. He stepped away from the car and laid her on the hood, his mouth never leaving her neck.
His entire body was a live wire, set to explode. He needed to be inside her, to connect with her, it had been far too long. His mouth kissed and nipped at her pebbled skin, while his hands found and undid her jeans. He pushed them as far as they could go, bunching them at the top of her high top converse. He knelt briefly and brought his body between her legs, spreading her thighs as far as he could. His mouth immediately moved to her sensitive skin. He teased her with his tongue only once before she screamed out as bliss overcame her, leaving her entire body shaking in pleasure.
“Andrew,” she whimpered as her hands went into her own hair.
She had never reached an orgasm so quickly or so fiercely. She languidly opened her eyes to find him standing before her, his shirt long gone. Her eyes raked him in. She was drawn to his strong shoulders and the tattoo she longed to touch. The eclipse on his chest that covered up one of the worst memories of his life was moving steadily with his heavy breaths. Her eyes roamed down as she followed the trail of hair, slick from the heat; that led into his unbuttoned jeans. Her eyes met his and her heart skipped in both excitement and love. He offered her one of his trademark smirks right before he entered her. It had been so long since they had been connected in this way. His eyes were already tightly closed and his brows were furrowed. The beads of sweat across his forehead highlighted the prominent vein that always popped when he was excited. He was close already; this would not take long at all. His face strained beautifully and his mouth parted while short breathy groans escaped his perfect lips.
“Madison,” he whimpered as the vein in his forehead pulsed exquisitely.
He thrust once more as he found his release. His whimpered moans at the sensation fueled her desire, prolonging their mutual pleasure. He didn’t say anything; he couldn’t as he lifted her up and into his arms. Her head fell on his shoulder as he stumbled haphazardly to the back seat of the car. He flung the door open and laid her down, bending so that he could move out from between her legs. He then maneuvered inside the vehicle, lifting her body on top of him.
“I can’t be without you, Helios. I can’t do that again. I barely survived it,” Madison whispered as her arms draped over his chest, feeling his heart beat against her.
“I can’t go back to New York, Madison, and...” he sighed as his hand moved into the back of her hair. “I told your mom I would never let you give everything up for me.”
Madison raised her head and stared at him. “Is that why you left?”
He stroked her face tenderly and shook his head. “Not entirely.”
“Then what was it? Please, baby, you can’t keep stuff from me.”
“Kurtis threatened to expose my sex offender status. We were already being kicked out of the apartment because of me and then him telling me that, I knew I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t be the reason you lost everything you had worked so hard to obtain.”
“Wait! When did Kurtis say this?” Madison asked.
“The day I left. He approached me when I came out of the subway. He was waiting for me. He hit me, I hit him back. He threatened to call the police and report me...”
“He hit you?” Her face flushed red as her anger came once again.
“Calm down, Madison.”
The corner of his lips quirked slightly. Andrew knew he shouldn’t be amused but Madison was utterly sexy when she was angry. And, in all honesty, she was the last person that could handle an asshole like Kurtis. He was a sick and vile individual and suddenly Andrew felt nauseous. He sincerely hoped that he hadn’t caused her any problems. What if he had and Andrew wasn’t there to protect her...
“I knew he was involved somehow,” she said, bringing him out of his thoughts. “He came by my office once, all cocky, like he was some kind of king or something. He had the audacity to ask me out, as if I would ever do that to you. He got pissed and...”
“Did he do something to you?” Andrew’s teeth clenched and Madison could feel his entire body tense.
She shook her head. “No, but he said something that was kind of odd and it reminded me of Jimmy, but I don’t know, he never admitted to doing anything,” she shrugged and laid her head back down on his chest.
“What did he say?” Andrew hesitantly asked.
“I can’t be certain because I tended to zone out whenever he was around but it sounded like he mumbled something about me pining for a rapist,” she said softly as she remembered the incident in question.
“Madison?” Andrew asked, bringing her out of her thoughts.
“He just implied that I liked to play rough because I slapped him. I would have done more but I had a client coming and I didn’t want to look like I needed Thug Life tattooed on my body somewhere,” Madison grimaced. She wished she had really gone off on him like she had wanted to.
Andrew laughed. “You slapped him?” he asked. Apparently she could handle that weasel after all.
“I wanted to seriously maim him but I didn’t,” she said with a sigh.
He smiled before he became serious again. “I don’t know, Madison. Everything seemed to be caving in around me. Everything was falling apart. Me leaving felt like the only solution that could fix it all.”
“No, Andrew, it wasn’t. If you had talked to me first we could have worked it out, found another solution, but you made a decision about our relationship without even consulting me. You didn’t give me a chance; you didn’t give us a chance.”
“If I had talked to you, you would have quit your job,” he said exacerbated.
“You’re damn right I would have.” Madison was indignant.
“That’s exactly why I didn’t talk to you about it. I loved you enough not to destroy your life.” He pinched his eyes shut. “That was more than my father could ever do for my mom. She wasn’t always messed up, he made her that way. I couldn’t be the one that did that to you, make you lose your home, your livelihood, your dreams. Your mom said I would destroy you, take away everything you had worked so hard for. I couldn’t prove her right.”
“Andrew, you being away destroyed me. I was a mess.” He opened his eyes to see her sad expression. “And, baby, you are nothing like your father,” she continued while he frowned. “You’re not, Helios. He was mean and cruel; you are nothing like that. And, for the record, my mom doesn’t know me at all. She thinks I want what she wants, and maybe I did at one point in my life. But once I met you, I knew it was all insignificant. I knew that all I would ever want or need is you. I don’t care about the rest,” she said assuredly.
“That’s not realistic, Madison,” Andrew replied with a sigh.
“What’s not realistic is you thinking I could manage my life in the dark after I have been in the light with you. Maybe it was easier for you but I was in hell,” she said, laying her head on his chest again.
He squeezed her tighter. “I was in hell too.”
They were both quiet for a moment, lost in each other’s arms. She was gently playing with the hair on his chest while he fiddled with her hair. Madison kissed him tenderly against his chest before she squeezed him tighter. She knew he wouldn’t be happy about what she was about to say, but she was going to say it anyway.
“I quit my job,” Madison mumbled against his chest.
“You what?” Andrew asked, lifting her chin.
“I talked to Mr. Turner and resigned. He said he understood and would give me a glowing recommendation. I just need to contact him to let him know who to send it to.”
Andrew was staring at her dumbfounded. She laid her head back against his chest, gently running her fingers over the planes of his body. Andrew wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen next. The problem of his sex offender status was still looming over them. She didn’t have a job. He didn’t have a job. They had nowhere to live and he would not allow her to live in some low rent complex that wouldn’t care about him being on
the registry. She deserved better than that.
“I cashed out my company 401K, it’s not a lot but it might be enough for us to put a down payment on a small place, maybe somewhere near my grans and your aunt and uncle. I have great credit so I could probably get financing on the rest. If we buy a house, no one can say anything about your status or deny us,” she said, bringing him out of his thoughts.
He angled her chin up again and looked at her, his brow arched. He couldn’t believe she had cashed out her retirement.
“All of my furniture is in storage. My grans said we could stay there until we found a place,” she continued softly. “And I was thinking that since I was doing sort of what Mr. Bennett used to do, he might be able to help me get an in someplace. I don’t care if I have to commute. But I know I don’t want to leave Bakersfield. That’s where our friends and family are. We need them in our life. If it hadn’t been for Callie, I would have literally gone insane.”
She dropped her head again while his hands ran up and down her back. He knew he should be happy, but in reality all he could see was her giving up everything for him. He then heard her mother’s cold voice in his head, questioning what he contributed to the relationship. He frowned as his hand stopped moving.
“And what exactly do I add to this grand plan of yours,” he asked bitterly, already feeling she was doing it all.
Her head came up again. “Stop, Helios,” she shook her head, her expression stoic. “You can’t help the situation you’re in right now but that doesn’t mean you are any less than the next person. Do you honestly believe a person like Kurtis, or worse, Nolan, are better than you?” He winced and she continued, “Because they’re not! I would rather have a man with a kind and loving soul with nothing but a pack of cigarettes in his pocket,” she moved her hand down and squeezed his pack. He didn’t want to, but he grinned as she continued, “then to have an asshole with money any day.”
Helios Exposed (The Helios Chronicles Book 2) Page 22