"Probably a marriage license," he said as he stood and kissed my neck.
"I mean legal documents for your protection."
"You're going to marry me then ditch me? Break my heart? You wouldn't do it even if you wanted to. You treat other people's feelings better than you treat yourself. The only legal document we need is the license. I'm safe with you. So what's your answer?"
To have and to hold all the baggage we both brought to the marriage. Any doubts or misgivings or panic attacks should be addressed or forever hold the peace. I loved him and carried his child. Life held no guarantees, but this was as close as I had ever been to paradise. I'd be a fool to be logical.
"Yes with all my heart."
He kissed me.
"First, I need to make two phone calls," I said.
"If your sisters are coming over, do I stay or go?"
"Your choice, but make sure the bar is stocked."
He opted to leave me to my sisters.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
"Shut the fuck up," Irene said, pacing the living room.
"How coarse. Here our darling sister brings us the joy we've been dying to hear, and you go ape shit," Eleanor said as she sat next to me on the couch. "Now, for the wedding, an understated ivory gown with a rich brocaded bodice and full train."
"I know you sell this fairy tale wedding shit, but you don't believe it," Irene said.
"I admit my marriage, however brief, wasn't perfect, but it didn't sour me on the pomp," Eleanor said. "Flowers are a must. There's a small florist…"
"Weren't you listening? The son of a bitch knocked her up. I want DNA samples, legal documents detailing all child support and inheritances, and full financial disclosure. I'll skip dental records. The pre-nup has to be as tight as a sacrificial virgin," Irene said, stopping at the bar.
"They weren't pure," Eleanor said as she examined a vase.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"If someone planned to throw you in fiery pit in the morning, wouldn't you get blitzed and laid the night before?" Eleanor asked.
I must admit she had a point.
"I'm not validating hymens. Since Alexia didn't use protection then, she's going to need it now. Do you recommend any attorneys?" Irene asked.
"Hampton is a shark, Klaus is a barracuda…" Eleanor said.
"She's not going deep sea fishing," Irene said.
"And I'm not going to an attorney either," I said.
"What?" they both asked.
"I'm getting married tomorrow by a judge. I'd like you both to be there around one o'clock. If you're busy, I'll understand," I said.
"No dress, flowers, invitations, or cake?" Eleanor asked, trying to hide the pout.
Unsuccessfully, as always.
"I'll be there in black," Irene said.
"You'll match Ben," I said.
"Fine, beige," Irene said.
"Oh you will not. This is Alexia's very plain and ordinary wedding day, and you will behave," Eleanor added.
"Says who?" Irene challenged.
"Says your older, tougher, meaner sister. If that's not enough, I'll post your pre-puberty pictures on the Internet. Acne, stick legs, flat chest."
"I remember, and keep your voice down. Those pictures were to be burned after Mom died," Irene said.
"I wouldn't dream of it. Besides, I'm saving them for your future spawn. I'll be in red, darling. Someone has to bring the sparkle."
"Or her inner whore," Irene said.
"Your eighth grade graduation picture caught your essence divinely," Eleanor said.
"Enough. I'm going quietly, for now," Irene said.
"I'll be in whatever fits at the moment and will try not to vomit on the groom. I can't promise anymore," I said.
"I'll drink to that," Irene said, downing a shot of tequila.
After they left, I went back to bed. Ben came home and sat beside me, kissing my cheek.
"I thought I would be calling the bank hustling up your ransom. I was sure they would kidnap you."
"Keep a good thought," I said.
"They're coming?"
"We'll find out tomorrow."
"Will they be pleasant?"
"I could ask them to be nice, but it would be like asking a Dali painting to make sense. It can't be done."
"Mark is still recovering from the ride home with Eleanor. She ranted and then kissed him. He's been calling Jenny 'Eleanor' ever since."
"We Hale women have a hypnotic effect."
"I've noticed. I threw all the condoms out. Now we have to decide how often to make love, what position is most comfortable, names, paper or plastic. We'll need a honeymoon. Maybe a small reception when you feel better. What's on your list?"
"Sleep and ginger ale."
In the morning, the room spun, and I felt hot and clammy. I had heard him leave earlier. Good, I'd rather be sick by myself. I sat on the edge of the bed trying not to gag. I heard his voice as the front door opened. He spoke to someone. A male voice answered Ben's question.
Ben poked his head in the bedroom door.
"Good, you're up. I brought my friend, Dr. Thaddeus Meyer. He's going to give you a preliminary exam. I explained about the insurance, and he figures I'm good for it. May I show him in?"
"He makes house calls?"
"When the right people ask. Okay?"
I nodded. A tall, blond, blue-eyed man entered the room. He had a pleasant smile and a courteous manner. He offered me his hand.
"Alexia, I'm Tad. Ben and I have known each other forever. He told me you're expecting and have been sick. That's normal. I would advise you to make a doctor's appointment soon. If you would like to be my patient," he said, handing me a card, "here's the number. Now, how long since your last period?"
He opened his bag and pulled out a stethoscope.
"Seven weeks. I took a pregnancy test yesterday. I planned to do another one this morning."
"You can if you want, but they're about ninety-eight percent accurate. Were you using birth control?"
"Most of the time. My prescription ran out and I don't have insurance."
He listened to my heart, took my pulse, and checked down my throat.
"Condoms are not very effective, and the pill should be taken every day. You've been sick for how long?"
"On and off all week."
"That will slow down. I'm going to give you a prescription for prenatal vitamins and a sample to start. Take them as soon as you can. Drink plenty of water and try to eat dry toast or crackers. Congratulations, I hear you're getting married this afternoon."
"If I can move from this spot," I said as I tried to smile.
"Get plenty of rest, and don't overexert yourself till you feel better. Tell Ben to give his staff more work or hire help for you."
Everybody knew but me.
"I hope you're better soon. Call for an appointment. Remember to say Alexia Cobb. I'll clue my nurse in to make room for you. And Alexia, Ben is a great guy. A pain in the ass, but he's been a true friend. Good luck."
He shook my hand and left.
After a half hour, I teetered out to the living room. Ben spoke on the phone, taking notes.
"Right birth certificates and anything else we need. We'll pick them up before we go to City Hall. Don't forget the Florida arrangements too. Doris, don't breathe a word to my father or Gavin. We'll be back before the news conference. Try to catch a few days of rest. Okay, be good or have fun. Bye."
He clicked his phone off and picked up his notepad.
"You look busy," I said as I sat on the couch.
"I've been making a list of names. Reuben Gator is my top pick for a boy or a girl, but I'm flexible."
I wasn't in baby mode now. Back to feeling stupid and used.
"Was I given work that someone had already done?" I asked.
"No, they appreciated the help." He joined me and tried to cuddle. Not in the mood, I wanted answers.
"Why didn't you tell me? You made it sound like you were desperate
."
"I was. They're swamped. One of the women needed to take family leave."
"Why didn't you send me to the office?"
"I thought you'd be more comfortable here, and I didn't want anyone to pump you about us."
"Didn't you think I could handle it? Did you think I would blab about our relationship to just anyone? What happens between us is the most personal business I can think of."
"I told you before I'm good copy. The press likes first-hand accounts. They pay for information."
"Did you think I would sell you out?" I asked, trying not to be hurt.
"Never, but someone who knows someone might repeat your innocent comments and try to blow them out of proportion."
My emotions were in hyper drive. Was pregnancy like turbo PMS for nine months? Everything would rub me wrong including my underwear. I needed to stop picking fights and rein this in, or I would be even crazier.
"Please be honest with me from now on. I can be trusted," I said, lumbering to the bathroom.
I heard the front door open and close as I stepped into the shower. Such a wimp, complaining about help. Women around the world toiled in the fields, months pregnant. Women supported their families working multiple jobs. I was the luckiest person alive and a whiner.
I felt better and stronger. And maybe a little hungry.
The small taste of fame had left a bitter taste in my mouth. Or was it the vitamin I just popped? Who decided to give foot long pills to women who gagged at the thought of swallowing? No more self-pity. I will learn to deal, be grateful, and travel with a bucket.
Dressed in a white cotton sundress, I waited for my reluctant bridesmaids. Eleanor would faint at the sight of me, but it was comfortable and airy. As I sat in the living room, I realized the toast and water had stayed down. If I sat perfectly still, maybe my stomach would, too. Ben had left a message telling me Mark would pick me up. Superstitious about seeing the bride before the wedding? He who had seen all of me now feared bad luck.
A commotion in the hall followed by a tiny knock at the door.
"Sweetie, we're here," Eleanor said.
I took a deep breath and stood. The room stayed in balance.
"Coming."
I should warn Mark, but my maternal instinct hadn't fully kicked in yet. In the Hale jungle, it was every man for himself. I opened the door.
"I'm in the nick of time. Your dress is atrocious. Take it off now, and Irene will burn it," Eleanor said as she twirled in a coral sleeveless gorgeous dress, carrying an assortment of bags.
Damn her upstaging the bride who had set the bar lower than the floor.
"It's not that bad," Irene said, strutting in wearing a black and silver halter dress, carrying a small black briefcase.
Double damn her for the great makeup, too.
"Thank you. Mark is on his way," I said, strolling back into the living room.
Eleanor headed to the kitchen. I heard the refrigerator door open and close.
"Ouch, you're right. When she moves, the dress gets worse," Irene said.
Eleanor stepped up to the garment bag and unzipped it. She shook out four dresses.
"Being pregnant pops you up a notch from white to prints," she said, arranging dresses on the couch.
Ooh, la, la. The bold colors, geometric patterns, flattering lengths, and chic styles had me tearing my crappy dress off over my head.
The front door opened as Mark stepped in to see me in my matching white lace bra and panties. I grabbed the closest dress and tugged it on. A deep green shift with a floral print skirt.
"Out," Irene bellowed.
Mark stood still, clutching a pink gift bag.
"It's only underwear. I hope you brought the limo because the four of us won't fit in anything smaller," Eleanor said.
"Ben is the luckiest bastard alive or dead," Mark said.
"Thanks," I said as I smoothed the skirt down my expanding hips.
"Do you have a name?" Irene asked.
"It's Mark. He works for Ben," I said as Eleanor led me to a chair.
"Listen, Mark, wait in the car, and we'll be down when we're ready," Irene said in a tone fit for addressing a two-year-old.
"The woman barking orders at you is my sister Irene. And you remember Eleanor," I said as she dragged a brush through my hair.
"I remember everything," Mark said, gazing at Eleanor.
"You shouldn't kiss any man under thirty. They become little puppies, following you around," Irene said.
"I know, but I was ticked, and he was available."
Eleanor fussed with my hair, and Irene circled Mark for the kill, helping me forget my nerves and unpredictable stomach.
"We won't be long. They're saving the full venom for Ben," I said.
"Speaking of my overlord, this is for you," he said as he put the bag on the table. "Anybody else going to strip?"
"No," I said.
"Sure?" he asked hopefully.
Irene swooped down and had him out the door.
"You shouldn't waste money on bouncers, dear," Eleanor said, pinning my hair to my scalp.
Irene rubbed her hands together and smiled.
"You're both hopeless," I said.
"Love you too, sweetie," Eleanor said, stabbing me with another pin.
"Are you almost done? I don't think my skull can take anymore metal supports."
"Beauty can't be rushed. Irene, don't you have a presentation for the bitching bride?"
Irene brought the case over and opened it so only she could see inside.
"As you know, Mom and Dad didn't have a lot of money. When I went through Mom's dresser, after she died, I found three jewelry boxes," her voice cracked.
I glanced up at Eleanor, who teared up too. Great, when I need them to be tough, they puddle up and get all sentimental. Irene left the room and brought back the tissue dispenser from the bathroom. We all took several.
"As I was saying, each box held a pair of earrings containing a speck of a diamond," Irene said.
She picked up a piece of stationery. It had faded, and I could see the ink through the paper.
"Mom left a note," I said.
Irene handed the yellowing paper to me.
"Your grandmother, my mom, had an engagement ring. I wanted each of you to have a small memento to be worn on your wedding day. Love you a gazillion times more," it said in my mother's flowing handwriting.
I tried to blink the tears out of my eyes. Both of my glorious sisters stood before me and pushed their hair away from their ears. Tiny dots twinkled back at me.
"I don't remember these from your wedding, Eleanor," I said.
"I knew it wouldn't last, so I didn't wear them. They are reserved for the best of occasions."
We both took Irene's hands. She shook us off. Her cold veneer hid a warm and wounded heart. It still pined for Kevin. Her tomboy persona protected her now, but at what cost?
I took out the gold hoops from my earlobes and replaced them with my precious diamonds.
"You mean so much to me. I would be lost without you," I said as I stood and hugged them. "Even if, you were the runts of the litter."
"Don't go biological on us. You were an accident. Mom and Dad paid top dollar for us," Eleanor said.
We both smiled as Irene dabbed her puffy eyes.
"Well, for one of us," Irene said.
I circled over to the table and picked up Ben's gift.
"It will be impossible to top your surprise," I said, skimming the card.
Something new, blue, and borrowed. I'm old. Love you, Ben.
"Do you want some privacy?" Eleanor asked.
"I'll tell you anyway, so have a seat."
I spilled the contents on the table. Two blue lacy garters tumbled out. A box marked 'new' held a gold watch with diamonds surrounding the face. I slipped it on my wrist. Another box was marked 'borrowed'. A simple gold chain with a heart dangling from it with a note attached. My mother's necklace. She wore it every day. It was her high school graduat
ion present from her parents. I know you'll take good care of it.
I went to the mirror and put it on. Lovely and a perfect touch for our first family occasion. I sat and quickly slipped on the garters. I knew my cheeks flushed to pink. I was immediately conscious of them. My mind wandered, and I imagined him slipping them off of me. My body started to respond to my illicit thoughts. I definitely felt better.
"You and the garters want to take fifteen minutes to file down the edge?" Irene asked.
"He can't be that good," Eleanor said.
I smiled and headed for the door.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
"Alexia, if you were anybody else's girl," Mark said.
"I wouldn't wish me on anybody. Ben finds me helpless. I'm his good deed for life."
Both of my sisters laughed as they handed their bags to Mark. They wouldn't admit it, but they were relieved to see me settled. Mother hens shoved the baby sister chick into the world. Mark opened the car door.
"Next stop, Emerald City," Mark said.
We three linked arms, did a little Dorothy skip, and slid into the back seat, off to see the wizard.
My sisters rattled on about gifts and parties as I contemplated my immediate future. As Mrs. Benjamin Nance Cobb, I would be a must-have guest on any hostess's list. Ben's wife offered a glimpse of the elusive artist. I was on the brink of a belated coming out party, with swollen ankles, funky food cravings, and an ever-expanding waistline. Thanks, Mother Nature.
Ben paced in front of the County Clerk's office, as Mark parked at the curb. The man in black didn't disappoint.
"Holy shit," Irene said.
Eleanor and I smiled at each other.
Ben helped Eleanor out and stepped aside as Irene got out. He climbed in the limo, closed the door, and kissed me. Both his hands went up my skirt and checked the elastic on the garters.
"I'm glad they fit," he said.
"Thanks for the watch and necklace, too."
"Just the beginning."
We kissed again and again and again.
Eleanor knocked on the passenger side window. Mark cleared his throat. Ben ignored them. The door jerked open.
"Coming, Irene," we said in unison.
We exited the car. Then, Mark drove the limo down the street to a parking garage. Our small party proceeded into the building. The elevators were to our left. We waited for an empty one then travelled to the eighth floor.
Spicing Up Trouble: a romantic comedy Page 19