As I closed my eyes, I went back to my visions. At a house with a backyard, our son played outside. I called him in for lunch. He hesitated.
"Wait, Mom, she's coming."
I peered into the bright sunlight and saw another child standing by the swing set.
"Who is she?"
My boy grinned and shook his head. He went back out to the girl, spoke, and they both laughed. They ran to me. A blonde, blue-eyed girl wearing a white pinafore over a blue gingham dress, smiled. Just like my first-grade picture.
I woke. Ben's head had nestled between my breasts.
"We've been cloned," I murmured as I stroked his cheek.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Christmas Eve started quietly. We picked up Mr. Cobb at the hotel. Then the three of us strolled down Michigan Avenue and watched busy shoppers do the last minute dance. I held onto their arms, and they let me set the pace. I admired the window displays, and they listened to me reminisce.
"My parents and grandmother brought us downtown every year to see the decorations and eat under the tree at Marshall Field's. I would see Santa, hand in my list, and hope for the best."
"Did you get what you wanted?" his father asked.
"Most of the time. The year I asked for a pony, I was disappointed."
"Why did you want a pony?" Mr. Cobb asked.
"Because no one had one. I would be the envy of the third grade. I was very conscious of appearances back then."
"I'm glad you grew out of it," Ben said.
"Who says I did?"
We also took a quick tour of the museum site. The walls were slowly climbing upward and the exterior shell was almost done. The real work would be the interior. It would take time and great care.
Ben summed up the New Year in one word: meetings.
We landed back home, had a simple dinner of shrimp stir fry, and opened our gifts.
I received another necklace from Ben: a gold chain with two solid gold baby bootie charms. He also showed me the closet in the nursery. Maternity clothes, selected by Eleanor, for any and every occasion: dresses, pants, shirts, eveningwear, but no pajamas. He assured me I would be more comfortable sleeping nude. Pray there wasn't a fire in the building. He gave his father a painting of Helen as a teenager. He copied one of the pictures I had found in her belongings.
Mr. Cobb gave me Ben's portrait from the auction. Ben grimaced, and I was thrilled. He gave Ben trust fund paperwork for the babies.
"My turn. I hope you like them," I said.
Mr. Cobb opened his gift first. His smile grew dim and distant.
"Did Ben give you this idea?" he asked in an unfriendly tone.
"No, I thought you would appreciate an American hero's autograph."
Ben took the gift from his father and dropped on the couch in hysterics. I bit my lip.
"I didn't mean to insult you. General Patton was a no-nonsense man who got things done and didn't give a hoot about asking permission. I'm sorry. I'll return it."
I went to take the letter back. Mr. Cobb held it firm in his hand.
"Your ignorant husband obviously doesn't have any decorum or class. He used to refer to me as the drill sergeant. He thought I was authoritative, strict, and demanding. I'm complimented by your choice of gifts. I question your taste in men."
"It's perfect. Where did you find it?" Ben asked from the couch.
"Mark recommended the store, and we went to it yesterday."
"I think Mark shows potential. Alexia, you should continue your friendship with him," Mr. Cobb said as he enjoyed the immediate ammunition to aim at Ben.
Ben's sudden silence was lethal.
"You allow other men to escort your wife around town? How twenty-first century of you, boy."
Ben stood and both men glared at each other. How quickly their moods changed.
"Ben, here's your present," I said as I held the box between them.
"Thanks, I hope it's a cudgel."
I let out a nervous laugh. Ben turned to me, opened the box, and revealed the clock.
"There's a story about it on the bottom of the box. The clock is over one hundred years old and was kept in a telegraph office."
Ben's temper cooled. Mr. Cobb had poured himself a drink and stood gazing out the window.
"It's beautiful, thank you. Dad, do you realize Alexia spent her last dime on our gifts? She's now officially broke," Ben said.
Mark had a big mouth.
"I don't think anyone has sacrificed so much on such worthless bastards do you, son?"
"I doubt it. Let's have a toast. To Alexia, our new peacemaker. May she live to bury us both and prosper with the children to be named later."
Ben stood by his father, pouring his own scotch. The men clinked glasses and drank. I watched and put my hand on my waist.
I promise it won't be like this for you two.
"I better be off. Thank you again, Alexia," his father said as he held up the letter.
He kissed my cheek. Ben clicked his heels and saluted.
"What do you see in him?" Mr. Cobb asked.
"You. I didn't mean to open old wounds. I need a manual to deal with both of you."
"You're doing great," he said as he hugged me.
"See you tomorrow, Dad. You know I love a laugh at your expense," Ben said as he followed his father to the door.
"Be good to that girl, and apologize for your infantile behavior."
"I thought you were the one who never apologized for anything."
"I always begged for forgiveness from your mother. It was almost daily and got monotonous, but I did it every time. Alexia's a sweet girl and a priceless find. Let's try not to break her heart."
"Okay, but the choice of Patton was inspired."
"Yes, she reads us better than we think," Mr. Cobb said as he left.
If only it were true.
Ben sat and started playing with his clock.
"I didn't mean to hurt his feelings," I said.
"Hurt him? He loved it. He and old George would've gotten along great. You're very observant. You've already sized him up."
"I won't be a good peacemaker. You two scare me. Your mood swings are volatile and swift. I'll never be able to keep up."
"You'll have to take me to this store. The clock is a beauty."
Ben tinkered with his new toy and didn't listen.
"I can't be the go-between. If you feel the urge to fight, let me know. I want to have time to run away."
He put out his hand. I grasped it then slid onto his lap.
"We're hopeless. I love to hate him and hate to love him. We can't spend a lot of quality time together. It's too hard not to needle him. It's ridiculous, I know. We tried counseling years ago. We are actually much better."
"Don't fight in front of the babies. I won't tolerate it. I'm putting you on notice. Your father, too," I said as I put my hand on the clock to regain his attention.
"I don't make promises I can't keep, especially to you. I will try to behave. That's all I can offer. You are going to have all the Cobb men vying for your attention. All eager to please. How will you manage?"
With another Cobb lady. I thought the twins were boys, but my dream said a girl. I'll need her reinforcement.
"The babies and your father will be easy. You will be the challenge of my life. I have to compete with your children, your work, and your other women."
"What women?"
Excuse me.
"I may be new to this, but I'm not blind. Your past, models, and art groupies. They're everywhere and always will be."
"I only have eyes, hands, and lips for you," he said as he kissed me.
"For now, but I'll get older, and your models will get younger."
I stood and headed for the bedroom. He took my hand and kissed it.
"You're the only woman in my life and the last model. I searched for you and now I'm set. You forget I've got a few years on you. I won't be cute forever. I won't attract other women."
"Right, you'll
be like your father: distinguished, disgustingly wealthy, and devastatingly handsome."
He led me to our bedroom and drew back the covers. I undressed and slid in between the sheets. He did the same and joined me.
"I've already done the tour. You're it. I'm settled. I'm in love and an expectant father. You're biggest worry will be how to unload me when I'm a slobbering old man. You'll have guys chasing you, betting on when I'll die and leave you a fortune. Go to sleep or Santa won't come. I left a long list including a pony," he said as he rolled over and fell fast asleep.
Why fight it? Enjoy the ride. I silently asked Santa for patience, fortitude, and no stretch marks.
It snowed overnight. The city covered up with a fluffy white blanket. We went to his father's hotel for brunch. I wore one of my Christmas presents. A two-piece olive green suit: a long jacket and full skirt. I also sported a black cashmere coat and matching boots. Eleanor had incredible taste in clothes. I had only surveyed about one-third of my new wardrobe. What I saw I liked.
I lived a fairy tale. Ben was a slightly tarnished knight to escort my fumbling Cinderella imitation, but I knew we would live happily ever after.
Christmas Day, we strolled into the lavishly decorated restaurant. The stunning tree sparkled with white lights, Victorian lace bows, and hand-blown glass ornaments. Santa, angels, reindeer, and elves glistened and hung from the branches. White, pink, and red poinsettias lined the staircase. The buffet table overflowed with breakfast, lunch, and most important, dessert.
Mr. Cobb waited for us.
"Welcome, children."
"We have to behave, Dad, otherwise Alexia won't let us near the babies."
"Incentive enough."
We atethe boys drank champagne and enjoyed each other's company. After brunch, Mr. Cobb retrieved his bags, and we drove him to O'Hare Airport. He left on Christmas to beat the holiday crowd. His private jet idled by the concourse.
"One last parting shot. You don't deserve her," his father said.
"You didn't deserve Mom either," Ben said.
"And now the peace begins," I said.
They hugged and his father patted his cheek.
"I'll keep you posted on the museum," Ben said.
"Do. Goodbye, son."
"Bye, Dad. This is going to be weird."
"It's all her fault."
I smiled at both of them. He boarded the plane, and off he went.
"I wouldn't be surprised if he moved back to Chicago," I said.
"Why?" Ben asked as he put his arm around me.
"The babies and the museum will bring him here more often."
"So will you. He likes having a daughter."
"I like having another dad, too."
I napped for a few hours and dreamed of next Christmas with the living room filled with pink and blue toys. Ben woke me for dinner.
I had marinara sauce and meatballs made. All I had to do was boil noodles and uncork some red grape juice. Usually after the first of the year, I would curtail my eating. Not this year. My babies had to be fed.
"You've got another present downstairs," he said.
Anymore and we would have to kick the tenants out to make room for my stash.
"My clock is looking like a shabby gift," I said.
"You blew all your money on me. I've barely made a dent. Humor me and come on."
I got dressed, put on my shoes, and got in the elevator.
"Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral?" I asked.
"Yes," he said.
We landed in the lobby and headed for the garage.
"Merry Christmas," I said as I waved to Travis.
"Same to you and thank you for your gift."
"Did we give him money?" I asked when we were out of his ear shot.
"Yes, a month's salary for every year with the firm," he said.
"Nice. Do I get a bonus next year?"
"I hoped to make yours a bit more personal," he said, opening the door.
A silver minivan with a massive gold bow sat in a parking spot. He held out the keys to me.
"A mom-mobile," I said as I took the keys and rushed to the car.
I pushed one button on the fob to unlock it, another to pop the hatch, and the other to set off the screeching alarm. He leaned over, pushed the same button twice, and made the wailing stop. He opened the driver's side door, and I got in.
"Want to do a test run around the block?" he asked.
"No, it will get dirty. Besides, my license is upstairs and my sisters will be here soon," I said as I glided my hands around the leather steering wheel. "Thank you."
"This shouldn't count as a giftit's a necessity," he said as I got out of the car.
"Are you saying my clothes don't count either?"
"You needed maternity clothes, so I guess not." He held my hand and guided me to the elevator.
"I'm counting everything so you're off the hook."
"Next, we should buy a house with plenty of room for a garden," he said.
"My mother had a flower garden. I planted carrots and cucumbers, but the critters ate everything."
"Was that your nickname for your sisters?" His laughter echoed off the walls.
"No, I mean bunnies and raccoons. I called Eleanor Smelanor and Irene Stupid when we were little."
"And they called you?" he asked as we stepped off and into the lobby.
"Sweetie, it's condescending and nice so they never got in trouble. They still use it when they pat me on the head."
"You're the youngest and very sweet," he said as he kissed my forehead.
"It could be worse. Our next door neighbor, Eric Kline, called me dog face."
"The cad."
"Irene heard him, ran across the yard, and tackled him. She held him down until he promised to answer to 'butt wipe' for a month."
"Irene's my hero and spirit animal."
I slowed my step as I felt a kick or a head butt or an elbow. Ben put his hand on my belly and smiled.
"Here's a plan to consider, keep them separated at birth so they can't join forces and fight against us. Never let the other know of the dual existence. They will be lulled into brokering a peace accord," he said.
"And as training for bawling fussy babies, my sisters have arrived," I said as Irene swept through the revolving door with Eleanor right behind.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
"Trying to escape?" Irene asked, shifting the wrapped gifts in her arms.
"Of course not," Ben said. "I showed Alexia her new set of wheels." He took the stack of presents from her.
Eleanor laughed out loud as she piled more boxes on him.
"We haven't told you about the time Alexia brought a guardrail home for dinner," Eleanor said.
"Or the tufts of sod or the yellow paint scrapes from the bank drive up post," Irene said.
"If I admit I'm a klutz, will the stories die?" I asked.
"No," both said.
Eleanor took his arm and led him to the elevator, dishing the whole time. I sat down next to Travis behind the desk.
"Oh no you don't. You're uncoordinated and a little slow on the swing, but you're not a coward. C'mon, remember story for story. Tell him about the time Eleanor's zipper broke," Irene said.
"You're vicious," I said as I stood up and hugged her.
"The zipper broke and…?" Travis prompted.
"I'm sorry, confidential family secrets," I said.
We giggled all the way to the elevator. On the way up, we voted on three Eleanor classic screw-ups. The condo door was open and jazzy Christmas music filtered out. Eleanor situated herself on the couch, and Ben mixed her a drink.
"Nothing says holidays like margaritas. You two look guilty of everything," she said as she cast her wicked eye on us.
"Just reminiscing about zippers and strapless gowns." I sat across from her on the loveseat and put my ever-expanding ankles up on the ottoman.
"I collected five hundred bucks in tips and many phone numbers before the malfunction. Life
before camera phones was so uncomplicated," Eleanor said.
"From the beginning," Ben said, handing another margarita to Irene.
"Well," Irene said as she sat in the recliner.
He joined me on the other couch.
"My boobs, my story," Eleanor said as she straightened up, giving her cleavage a pump up. "Unlike some men in this room, we have always had jobs. Sometimes two or three at a time. At eighteen, I worked as a cocktail waitress. Don't say I was underage. I've never been carded in my life."
"You were born twenty-one," Ben said to Eleanor.
"With a biker bitch attitude," Irene raised her glass to both of them.
It was hard to be the boring one, but I could never compete with these two, now three, soon to be five.
"Any who, there was a private party for some corporate health types. We had to wear slutty nurse costumes, not the usual uniforms. I had to be pushed and prodded into a flimsy piece of material, barely covering my breasts and booty. After an hour of bending and dodging lecherous hands, the straps popped. Before I could adjust my pieces and parts, the zipper split, the dress circled my ankles, and I was basically nude, except for a few triangles of material."
"I'm locking in the visual," he said as he closed his eyes and smiled.
I poked him in the ribs. He put his arms around me and kissed the back of my neck.
"Is there a moral to this story?" he asked as I pushed him off me.
"Check your underwear for holes and never leave home without a sweater," Irene said.
"Did you go home bared to all?" he asked.
"No, but I was furious. I picked up the remnants of my so-called clothes and threw them at my boss. A guy made a grab for me, and I punched him. A few more got drinks poured on their laps. The rest of the waitresses and the bartenders left with me. I put on my pants, boots, coat, and headed for the Red Line. Now, I've provided the entertainmentI want my dinner," Eleanor said.
I got up, kissed Eleanor, and high-fived Irene. I arranged my pans and started dinner. I heard their voices but couldn't understand a word. After I'd cooked everything, I lumbered to the living room.
"You should pose for me," Ben said to Eleanor and Irene.
"Are you propositioning my sisters?" I asked.
"They are powerful vibrant women. It would be a challenge to capture them on canvas," he said.
Spicing Up Trouble: a romantic comedy Page 26