We met up for dinner at the crowded steak house. I saw other people from my graduation still in their caps and gowns. I took mine off after seeing how silly they looked in theirs. We all sat down at a big round table set for our party of five and began looking over our menus.
“Why did you cut your hair?” my dad asked.
“I think my hair makes me look professional. You don’t like it, Daddy?”
“No, women need hair. It looks short, like a boy’s.”
“I think it looks good. She is going to have to be taken seriously at work,” my mother said. She patted her silver and black wavy hair. She had an asymmetrical bob with a part to the side. It looked beautiful up against her midnight skin. I looked just like her, a few shades lighter, petite, with bright brown eyes.
“Retirement is two years away, huh, Mrs. Matthews?” Terrance asked, changing the subject from my hair.
“Yeah, Mom, what are you going to do?” I asked.
She had been in the education field for thirty-plus years. She was a principal at the Rosemont Elementary School.
“I don’t know yet. But the first year I’m going to rest; then I don’t know. I may even go play golf with your father.”
“Who picked a steak house?” Camille asked as she scooted up closer to the table and looked over the menu in disgust.
“Your father did.”
“Daddy, you know I’m a vegetarian,” she exclaimed.
“This is not about you, Camille. This dinner is for your sister,” my father said sternly. Camille was twenty-eight and acted like she was sixteen at times.
“Right, I forgot, nobody cares about me,” she said as she closed the menu.
“Are you staying over?” I asked my mother.
“No, we’re riding back to Philly tonight. Your daddy is still being cheap. He doesn’t want to waste the money on a hotel room.”
“I’m not being cheap. It is only a two-hour ride, and I have patients in the morning.”
My mother gave us a look like “don’t believe him.” We ordered our dinner and the waiter brought us our food promptly. I wasn’t really hungry, but I ordered a steak to eat in Camille’s face as she munched on a garden salad. We were silly like that. We annoyed each other at times but still had sisterly love. She was older and always complained because I was the baby and got whatever I wanted.
“When do you start working, Dionne?” my father asked halfway through our meal.
“I take review classes for the next few weeks, then the bar at the end of July, and I start working in September. I already accepted a position in the public defender’s office at home.”
“Where are you going to live?”
“I’m moving in with Terrance.”
My parents looked at each other, and Camille smirked at me like “ha-ha.”
“Daddy, it makes sense. He is not there half the month, and it is close to my job.”
“I don’t know about that whole living together stuff,” my father said, wiping his mouth and staring at Terrance.
It was very uncomfortable. My father was chewing fast and taking bites and just shaking his head. Terrance, unaffected, pulled out a box. He passed it across the table. I opened the brown box. It was a black leather Louis Vuitton briefcase.
“Very nice,” my mother said, as I showcased my briefcase on the table.
My father was not impressed and still gave Terrance a silent, evil stare.
“Thank you,” I said as I set it down next to me.
After dinner, I said good-bye to my mother and sister while my father whispered something to Terrance in his ear.
“What was my father saying?” I asked as we walked down the street toward Terrance’s Infiniti X35 SUV.
“Nothing.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He just told me to call him,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me. Our waiter came running out of the restaurant and said, “Miss, your box.”
“Thank you so very much,” I said as I looked over at Terrance. I knew he was going to say something.
“How do you leave a thousand-dollar briefcase on the table?”
“I don’t know. You know I am forgetful at times.”
Terrance was so disciplined and so was I at times. He wrote down his goal, wrote a plan of action, and got it done. He was quiet and reserved. I’m sure that was from growing up in a house with four women. He had three sisters, Tasha, Tamika, and Torey, and his mother, Felicia. Yes, his mother gave all her children first names beginning with T after their father, Tony. Terrance’s sisters all talked fast in these funny little Brooklyn accents. The first time they met me, they said, “Oh no, Terrance, where did you meet this girl? We don’t like her.” Right in front of my face. So I kept my distance from them. I didn’t understand them and they didn’t understand me. They all worked little jobs, didn’t have children, and still shared an apartment with their mother, and had the nerve not to like me and call me bougie.
Terrance and I had been together for the last two and a half years. It was pretty serious. I met Terrance through his friend Darren. Darren was in a few of my classes and said he wanted to introduce me to his photographer friend. We met in person at Darren’s birthday party, exchanged numbers, and started hanging out on weekends. On our first date I informed him I could not date a starving artist, and he let me know that photography was just a hobby and he also had a degree in business from American University.
We entered our large two-bedroom apartment. There was a cream sofa and two black end tables filled with magazines in the shape of a fan. Terrance had black-and-white photos he had taken hung over the mantel. We had a small kitchen with a table for two. And our computer desk set up in the corner. When I moved in last month, we agreed only to keep three things from our apartments. Everything else went to the Salvation Army.
“Look in the closet,” Terrance said with a big smile.
I couldn’t imagine what could be inside. I kept my eyes closed and walked over. There were five suits and three pairs of shoes.
“I want you to walk in that office like you already own it,” he said as he hugged me.
“That’s what I’m going to do, baby. How did you pull this off?” I asked. The suits were perfect. I was amazed that he got my style and size correct. The briefcase matched my shoes, and the suits were Tahari and Donna Karan.
“I took one of your other suits to Bloomingdale’s, and you know what? I can’t take credit for it. The saleswoman put them together, so you have to go and thank her. I just paid for them.”
“Terrance, this is so sweet. Thank you, baby,” I said as I turned to kiss him.
My life was so good. I had so much to be happy about. I had a great man and was about to begin my dream career. After Terrance was asleep, I tiptoed into the bathroom to call the other special man in my life: my ex-boyfriend Kevin Wallace.
“I’m done. I’m an attorney now,” I whispered excitedly.
“Congrats, baby. When are you coming out here?”
“I don’t know. I start my new job in September. I’ll talk to you later. I just wanted to call and tell you,” I said before hanging up. I got back into the bed with Terrance. My thoughts wandered to Kevin and four years earlier. Kevin played basketball for our college, Georgetown. He was pretty good but never seemed to catch a break. He couldn’t stay out of trouble or keep his friends from Richmond off campus. Then he scored low on his SATs, so he had to sit out his freshman year. He got caught with one of his friends’ weed and almost got kicked out of school. We met at one of the parties. He started being with me and left the bad scene behind. He was the leader in scoring and rebounds. He had a lot of hype around him and everybody knew he would go pro.
Kevin eventually put his bid in for the NBA our senior year. I remember that night me and his mother, sister, and his mom’s boyfriend sat in front of the television waiting for them to call his name. We cringed every time a guy he knew or played against walked onstage and put on their team jersey
and hat. We waited all night, watching until the second round and the last name was called. He was shocked and so were we. He had worked out with the Pistons and the Warriors. He was just about promised a spot with the Raptors. He was so disappointed. Kevin’s agent told us not to worry and that he would work things out for him. That didn’t stop Kevin from crying in my arms. He wasn’t worried about being in the league as much as he was worried about taking care of his mother and little sister, Andrea.
Everybody was already calling and had so many expectations for him. When he wasn’t selected, it shattered his ego. I comforted him all night.
As promised, the next morning his agent, Larry, called and said that he got him a deal with a team in Italy. I wanted to go with him, but I couldn’t pass up school. I had already been accepted to Howard Law, and I wasn’t his wife, so I wasn’t about to go overseas with him. He was very upset about my decision and to this day, if you asked Kevin, he would say I abandoned him while he was at his lowest. And it wasn’t like that at all. It was just that his basketball dreams weren’t reality. I didn’t know how long he would last, and I couldn’t face my parents and tell them I wasn’t going to law school. So instead, I let my man go. And after he left I had a major breakdown and had to be hospitalized. It was like I couldn’t live without him. I almost didn’t make it through my first year of law school. But with my parents and sister by my side, I made it. I think going through that breakdown made my and Kevin’s relationship stronger. He realized it was hard on me too. Today, we still kept in touch—friends with benefits. I went to visit him from time to time. And when he was home, we’d meet up.
Chapter 4
Tanisha
At every light I stopped at on the way home from work, my thoughts overflowed. It just seemed like life was so damn hard. Why the hell me? How the hell am I ever going to get out of this rut of not having money and being able to pay all my bills?
I was still trying to figure out how I was going to pay a seven-hundred-dollar cell phone bill. I just hoped our cell phones didn’t get cut off. I spent just about all my savings and was having a hard time filling my gas tank up on my own and giving the kids an allowance. I mean, the flip side was I could have kept Tyrone around, but it would have been just for his paycheck. That wouldn’t have been fair to him, and I’d rather try to make it on my own. I just had to start bringing my lunch to work instead of eating out every day and cut back on everything. I thought I still might have to get a second job to handle all my expenses. The only time I missed Tyrone was when I started thinking about my finances. I was so happy to have my bed to myself. I stretched out and didn’t have to hear no snoring. I didn’t have to wake up in the middle of the night to turn off the television, and I didn’t have an old man begging me for sex.
My only regret was I wished I had left him sooner. I’d been feeling incomplete for years, but I was too scared to leave. I always asked myself, Who’s going to help me with the children and pay the bills?
I should have him left when I was in my twenties, ’cause now at thirty-two, I wasn’t old, but it was going to be a little harder getting on the dating scene. I knew I still looked good. No one could ever believe I was over thirty. I didn’t do anything special, but I maintained my weight. And I drank a lot of water. My mocha skin was always smooth and soft, and my hair, I wore it just below my shoulder. I did very little makeup. But however I looked on the outside, I didn’t feel it on the inside. I’d been around an old man for so long I had old-lady ways. Tyrone was still heartbroken, but I couldn’t live for him. His best friend George’s wife, Rose, had been calling me, asking me to reconsider. His chains were off me. I was free, and I wasn’t turning back.
I soaked in the scalding hot bubble bath. I liked my water so hot that I could barely take it. I sat in the tub and just relaxed. I had the Smooth Jazz station playing. My mind was at ease. I had my dinner cooking on low and had just enough time to relax, until I heard a loud knock at the door. It never failed. I couldn’t even take a bath without somebody bothering me. I loved my kids, but I always imagined life without them. I’d been tied down since I could remember.
“Mommy, my daddy told me to tell you he downstairs,” Kierra yelled.
“Okay, tell him I’ll be down,” I said as I hurried and washed and let the water out of the tub.
After I dressed in my walk-around-the-house clothes, I came downstairs to see Tyrone sitting on the sofa. He looked like he had tried to clean up some, and he had lost a little weight. He had a haircut and shaved off his gray sideburns. I still wasn’t attracted to him. He stood up so I could see the changes.
“What’s up?” I said as I looked at him with my hands on my hips.
“Nothing, just wanted to have a quick visit. Where are Jamil and Alexis?”
“Alexis is over at her friend’s house, and Jamil didn’t get in here yet.”
“Well, hopefully I’ll get to see them before I leave. Jamil had called me yesterday, said he wanted to talk to me. Something smells good,” he said as Kierra played with his nose and eyes. I guess he wanted me to ask him if he wanted some dinner.
“You want something to eat?” I huffed.
“That would be nice. I’m losing weight; ain’t been eating right since you kicked me out,” he laughed. He was looking for a reaction from me, but he didn’t get one.
“Your dinner’s on the table. Kierra, go eat,” I said as I went to get Kierra’s and my clothes ready for the next day.
I came back downstairs and he was sitting on the sofa. Baby Girl was asleep on his chest. Ty’s boots were off and he had the remote in his hand like he still lived there.
“All right, Tyrone. I’m going to bed.”
“Is that an invite?” he chuckled.
“No, it is not. I’m too tired to play with you.”
“So you sure you don’t want me to come up? Kierra’s asleep and the kids are not here.”
“I’m very sure, Tyrone. Can you lock the door on the way out?”
He looked at me like I had said something wrong.
“All right, soon as I see the end of this I will. I’m going to put the trash out for you.”
“You don’t have to. Jamil will do it tomorrow.”
“I don’t mind.” Tyrone was using any excuse to stay a little longer.
Chapter 5
Adrienne
I was preparing a healthy meal that consisted of a medley of vegetables, baked chicken, and brown rice. I had leaned over to turn my rice down when my cell phone rang.
“Hey, miss,” a voice sang out.
“What’s up, Stacey?” I asked as I drained the steaming pot of rice.
“I want you to come to my bridal shower. I need your address. It is very informal. Me and some of my friends are renting a stretch Hummer limo and having fun.”
I gave her my address; then she asked me what I was doing.
“Cooking.”
“Cooking dinner? Oh my God, you have a boyfriend,” she said excitedly.
“No, I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Whatever, you are going to have to update me when you get to work.”
I couldn’t wait until we got to work to fill her in. So I put the pot on the stove and said, “It’s my trainer.”
“Your trainer? I knew you were getting a little too toned,” she yelled.
She wasn’t lying. In three weeks, my body was firm. It was nice having a boyfriend and trainer in the same person. Our relationship was going at an accelerated pace, but it was good.
“I’ll see you when I get in,” I said as I cut my vegetables off.
Fifteen minutes later, I heard keys jingling in the door. Kyle walked into the apartment. I was just setting the table. I usually would never let a man I just met have keys to my house or stay with me. But it felt so good having someone around, and it wasn’t like I didn’t know him.
He washed his hands and began making his plate. He poured almost the entire pot of vegetables on his plate and half of a chicken breast. H
e then poured a giant-size glass of water. I didn’t really like sitting down with him to eat. It seemed like he was counting every calorie that went into my mouth. I put a few spoonfuls of rice, a full breast, and what was left of the vegetables on my plate.
“Don’t eat too much. I don’t want you to mess up how tight I got that butt,” he said. He was right. Since I’d been dealing with him, my abs and butt were tight as hell. I could go pose in a spread in any magazine now with no airbrushing.
“How was work today?” I asked.
“It was okay. I’m just going to have to drop you off at work because my car is giving me problems. I took it to the mechanic on the way home. He said it is going to be around four hundred.”
“What’s the matter with it?” I asked as I cut my chicken across with my knife and fork.
“The alternator and the fan belt. You think I could borrow the money until I get paid Friday?”
“Okay.”
“Can you go get the money out before you go to work? That way I don’t have to use your car again. I can drop my car off tonight.”
Before I went to work Kyle followed me to the ATM. As I withdrew the money out of the machine, something clicked in my head. Why am I getting his car fixed? I felt a little silly. But I knew once he got paid he would give me the money back.
Friday came and I didn’t hear from Kyle. The last time I talked to or saw him was when I put the money to get his car fixed in his hand. He had let three days go by without calling me. I wasn’t even calling him about my money. I was just trying to see if he was okay. I dialed his number and he didn’t answer his phone. That was strange, but I still didn’t panic. But by twelve I was almost in tears. We were dating for only a few weeks, but I felt so close to him and knew he wouldn’t stop calling me over money. I got out of my bed, drank some water, and tried to go to sleep thinking he would probably call me in the morning.
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