I changed the words to “I don’t have to work at the hospital again.” Kanye’s “The New Workout Plan” was playing loudly on my iPod. He probably thought when he was making the song he was playing women, but he was inspiring me. I did an hour on the elliptical machine and burned eight hundred calories with that song on repeat.
Derrick was about to become the father of my unborn child, and he didn’t even know it yet. I bought a fertility monitor and an ovulation kit. I took a bunch of natural fertility supplements I bought from this herbal store. I was drinking red clover tea and raspberry leaf. I didn’t know how much it would increase my chances to conceive, but it had to do something. I was ready to go to a real fertility clinic, but I wasn’t really trying to have three or five babies at once. One would suffice.
I wore black straight-leg jeans and a sleeveless turquoise button-up with six gold buttons. I only buttoned half of them. My Victoria’s Secret Miracle Bra made me look like I was blessed with double-Ds. Nina Ricci scent covered my body. My makeup was done up, and my feet were dressed with black pumps.
He called me three times in a row as I drove up the turnpike, trying to make sure I was on my way. Damn, boo. I’m coming, I thought.
Trees bordered the empty, long road. It scared me because you couldn’t make a left or right, you had to keep going straight. I got off the exit and called him to make sure I was going the right way. He told me to keep coming up the hill and to call him when I got to the gate. I pulled into his development. The man came out of the little house and asked, “Who are you visiting?”
“Derrick Johnson.”
He smiled a little and said, “Take care.” He opened the gate, and I followed the path back to his condo. He told me I had to drive past three speed bumps.
I pulled up to a truck that had to be his. It had 17NETS on the license plate. It had big shiny chrome twenty-four-inch rims on it and was shining. I wanted a new car. My Toyota Camry was not getting it anymore. His truck dwarfed my car in style and size. I saw him standing from his front door. He gave me a hug and I smelled his Unforgivable cologne.
“So, this is where you live?” I asked as I walked into his condo. He had a nice view of the river.
“Yeah, when I’m here,” he said. “I stay back and forth in it when I’m not playing.”
We sat on the sofa. I twirled my hair and he turned on the television and offered me something to drink.
He kept giving me compliments. I stuck my tongue out a few times as I spoke.
We both had shots of vodka. He had five, I had three. There was a lot of touching and bumping into each other as we threw darts into his boards. We were playing a little warm-up game before the main event.
“You sexy as hell. You do things that my girl won’t do? When you told me that, my dick got instantly hard. You know that?” he said as he licked his lips.
“Yup.”
“You going to show me now?” he asked as he grabbed my waist, and began to massage my breast.
I told him yes as I stepped out of my jeans and just stood there with a black lace thong and brassiere in front of the window.
“You not even playing fair right now,” he said as I stared out the window at the river. There were boats docked and moving slightly.
“Damn, your body’s tight as hell,” he said as he came up behind me and just pressed his mouth against my neck, kissing it. I took his hands and slid them in between my legs. He began tickling my insides with the tips of his fingers. He was going back and forth fast like a deejay cutting a record. I kicked my pumps off and removed my bra and panties. My body was warm and ready for him to enter. When he pulled out his condoms I stuck his fingers in my warmness and whispered, “Don’t you want to feel that?”
“I do, but my girl’s going to kill me.”
“Your girl, is she here?” I asked with authority, taking advantage of the moment.
“No,” he said as he threw the condom down and entered me.
“Oh, this shit feel good…. I shouldn’t be doing this…. I got a girlfriend,” he moaned like a bitch. I felt him releasing inside me. As it oozed in me, I devoured it with my hips and hoped that his seeds made it to my eggs.
I went out with Derrick two times after that. I think he actually liked me. I didn’t even ask him, he just gave me five thousand dollars. It was very unexpected, but appreciated. I paid some bills and went shopping. I knew the longer he kept me around, the better the chance I had of getting pregnant. The only problem was his girlfriend, Patrice, who he’d been with since middle school. He was terrified of her. But that was okay; she could be his girlfriend, and I could be his baby’s mother.
Chapter 22
Dionne
I knew I shouldn’t still be keeping in contact with Kevin, but I did anyway. Terrance and I weren’t married yet. So until then, technically I wasn’t cheating on him. When we got married, I’d stop all communication. Kevin was a little hesitant about talking to me again; he kept telling me how wrong I was for calling him and telling him I couldn’t see him anymore. I apologized until he began taking my calls again.
He was coming to town, and we planned to get together while he was home. He was involved in a Peace Weekend Celebrity Basketball Game. I didn’t know how I was going to get out of the house with Terrance being home.
As soon as I awoke, I thought of things that I could do or say to get out of the house. I knew any activity I told Terrance I was going to do, he would try to come along. The only thing he would hate to do on his day off would be to go shopping. I dialed Camille to be my alibi.
“Camille, I’m so glad you answered the phone,” I said, speaking softly.
“Why you whispering?” she whispered back.
“I need you to call me in a few minutes and ask me to go shopping.”
“Why?”
“Because, just do it.”
“Listen, you really have to get your last bad-boy fix, settle down, and have a nice respectable life, Miss Attorney.”
“I know, I’m about to. Just please do this for me. Just call me like in ten minutes.”
“All-righty,” she said.
I hung up my phone and peeked out the room to see if Terrance had heard me. He hadn’t. He was watching television. Now it was time to put on a performance. I went and sat on the sofa and acted like I was about to review a few cases. I pulled out my briefcase and pretended I was looking for something. Then I kept sighing and fumbling for a pen. He looked over at me and then asked if I was okay and if I wanted to go to the movies.
“No, I’m okay. I was just trying to look over something before I go shopping with Camille. She should have called me by now,” I said as I looked down at my watch.
“You don’t need anything else.”
“Yes, I do. I always need new shoes,” I said as I walked over to his sofa and softly kissed him.
He took off his glasses and rubbed his temples. I sat back down on the sofa for the next five minutes, and still no Camille. I thought I was out of going to the movies with him, but he kept probing.
“So, what time is she supposed to call you?”
“I guess any minute,” I said, and right after, my phone rang. I stood up and walked across the room so he couldn’t hear exactly what I was saying.
“Hey, Camille. What time you want to meet?” I said loudly, cradling the phone and looking in Terrance’s direction.
“Sorry, girl. I forgot that quick,” Camille whispered.
“How long before you get there? Oh, you there already? I thought you were going to call me before you left? Okay, I’ll be right there,” I said into the phone as I walked over to the closet and pulled out my coat.
“Babe, we’re probably going to have some drinks. Go spend some time with the boys. I’ll call you when I’m on my way home,” I said as I walked out the door.
I was out of the house and so happy. It was a damn shame I had to act like a teenager to do it. But Terrance acted like he couldn’t do anything without me, and I really wan
ted to see Kevin. I really was about to take a trip to the mall. I bought new underwear from Victoria’s Secret. Only thing was, Terrance’s wouldn’t be the first eyes to see them.
When Kevin finished playing, I was right there waiting for him in the parking lot. This was what we used to do after all his games. We were so broke back then, we would split appetizers at Ruby Tuesday’s and drink water with our meal. Back then we didn’t have any money, but we had love.
Kevin got in and pulled the seat back. He was six-three, light brown skinned with big doe eyes and a light beard.
“Hey, baby,” I said, excited.
Kevin didn’t say hi back; he just raised my hand off the steering wheel to look at my engagement ring. Then he made this sucking noise he always made when he was mad that sounded like he was trying to get something out of his teeth and pushed my hand back down.
“Don’t act like that.”
“I’m not acting like anything,” he snapped, then pulled out his cell to check his messages.
“What’s up. Mrs.—What’s your new name now?” he asked.
“It is still Matthews, and I didn’t get married yet. And I’m not changing my name. Stop being silly and, oh, Kevin, I can’t stay out.”
“Why not?”
“Terrance is home this weekend.”
“And?” He sighed and stared out the window.
“And that’s my fiancé, and I have to be home at a decent hour. We can go to the hotel, relax a little, and then I have to go.”
It didn’t matter how long Kevin and I stayed away from each other, he never forgot my likes and dislikes. I believed we were soul mates even though soul mates don’t always end up together in this life. Kevin kissed on me until both our bodies were warm. I pulled out a condom and slid down the shaft of his strong penis. He went right inside me and played knock-knock with my weak spot. We didn’t need any new or fancy tricks. We caught up on each other’s lives; then it was time for me to leave.
“I love you, Kevin. I have to go. Have a safe flight back,” I said as I walked out the door.
He stared right through me, and walked toward the bathroom and flagged his hand at me.
I got a pit in my stomach on the ride home. I was so petrified to go into the house. I double-checked myself in the mirror and examined my neck and face for Kevin marks. I closed the mirror once I realized there was none.
Terrance’s car was parked. I came in and called his name, but he didn’t respond. He must have been asleep. I looked in the room. He wasn’t home. I turned on music and ran the shower. I thought about Kevin as I undressed. His cologne scent was still on my clothes. I stepped into the shower, closed my eyes, and began to reminisce.
When Terrance came in, his eyes were glassy and red. He gave me a kiss, and I tasted alcohol on his lips and tongue. He nudged me, trying to wake me. I pushed him away.
“Where were you?” I asked.
“With Darren having a few beers. Wake up and show me what you bought from the mall today,” he said as he turned on the lights.
“Not now. I’ll show you in the morning. Please just go to sleep. I’m tired.”
He pulled the sheets back and said, “Dionne, I’m going to let you rest, but where are your car keys?”
“What do you need my car keys for?” I asked, leaping up. I wasn’t sure if there was any incriminating evidence in the car like a hotel key lying on the floor or a condom wrapper.
“You have to find them, Dee, because you left your lights on and your passenger seat is sitting back.”
“Yeah, I know, I was looking for my earring. I dropped it,” I responded. Good save, I thought. I should’ve felt guilty, but I didn’t.
Chapter 23
Tanisha
It felt good having a life. Adrienne and I had really grown closer. Like we called each other almost every day and just talked about anything.
I felt like I traded my old car in for a new one. The men who were trying to approach me were everything women would want in their man—young, handsome, and successful.
Adrienne turned getting money into a profession. That guy Derrick was spending so much money on her. But I didn’t agree with dating someone else’s man. She was really serious about getting pregnant by one of these players. I thought if she saw how she looked that night after that abortion she wouldn’t even be trying to have sex. I asked her if she was scared about catching something, and she said that athletes got tested all the time and were very clean. I didn’t care what she said, I wasn’t getting pregnant. I had three kids already. I wouldn’t mind meeting a friend or two, but wasn’t sold on having anyone’s baby.
The party scene was working me overtime. And draining my money. Every party I had to buy something new to wear. Plus, I still had to get up and go to work and tend to three children. But that’s why I liked going out. It made me feel like I had another life. Nobody knew I had two teenagers who called me mom.
One night we went to a charity bowling party downtown at Lucky Strikes. It was hosted by some Eagles player named Omar Kimble and all his friends. The bowling alley looked like a nightclub. There was loud hip-hop music playing. Tyrone would have been in heaven.
The only problem I had with these athletes was they thought they were special because they had money. I wasn’t going to treat anyone any different. I was treating them just like I would any other guy.
Adrienne seemed to think they got passes. No. Plus, I didn’t like approaching men; it made me feel desperate. The women were throwing themselves at them. I wasn’t with all that. If you like me, then come over and say something to me. You are not any better than I am. I really didn’t have time because I was really thirty-two. What did I really look like chasing somebody?
We made a fifty-dollar donation to get in to that party, and no one was bowling. The lanes were open, so I began bowling. The guy whose party it was, Omar Kimble, saw me roll a strike and asked me if I could teach him how to play. From then on he was in my face the rest of the night. Adrienne was so happy, she whispered in my ear, “He play for the Eagles.”
I’m like, “Okay, so what?”
I wasn’t pressed like that. So anyway, he called me that night and asked me if I had a MySpace page. And I told him no. Then he asked me to send him a picture. I told him no again. He really was very arrogant and rude.
“Won’t you come and see me?” he asked.
“I have to go to work in the morning.”
“Call out.”
“I’m not calling out for you,” I said, laughing.
“What’s so funny? You really must not know who I am.”
I took the phone away from my ear and looked at it. I pulled the phone back up and said sarcastically, “Who are you?”
“Everybody know me. I’m Omar Kimble, O-K.”
“Okay, O-K. I don’t care.” I hung up on him.
He called me back again and said he thought we got off on the wrong foot and asked me to meet him when I got off work.
So I was thinking he knew I wasn’t impressed and wasn’t one of those women he was going to be playing games with. I was so wrong.
Omar lived on the waterfront in this big apartment building with steps. He had the doorman buzz me up. The door was already open. I walked in and he was sitting on the sofa. I came in, and the first thing I noticed was there was nothing in the apartment. No clothes, no dishes, no washcloths.
“Do you even live here?” I asked as I looked around.
He nodded yes, but everything in the apartment screamed no.
“No, you don’t. This is the place you take your women to.”
He started laughing and said, “Yo, you funny, yo. Come have a seat.”
I had a seat and he said, “You a fine brown girl. I usually only date Asian women. But I made an exception with you.” Okay, was that a backhanded compliment? I didn’t say thank you. I just smiled and took a deep breath and hoped I wouldn’t have to cuss him out, before the end of the night. I looked over at him and thought what a wast
e of money and looks. He seemed like he wanted to be nice, but didn’t know how. He was attractive and had a muscular physique but wasn’t that big. “I thought all football players were big,” I said as I scooted over on the sofa.
“Not in my position. I have to be quick. So you really don’t know who I am.”
“I don’t. I’m sorry,” I said as I shrugged my shoulders.
“No, I’m not mad. I’m happy you don’t know me. I hate meeting bitches—” He stopped midsentence, apologized, and continued on. “I hate meeting females that know everything about you. I went out with this girl and she knew what high school I went to and what my brothers’ names were, before I even told her. But yo, you seem mad cool like you smart too. Most women I meet are so dumb.”
“You got to start meeting them in better places than the club.”
“You right, but like I don’t go out that much. People be trying to set you up and stick you up. So I try to stay in. If I don’t throw the party with my own security I don’t go.”
We talked some more and then right after I announced that I was leaving, he pushed me onto the sofa. He tried to kiss me and feel on my legs. I told him to stop and when he didn’t I left. He really still didn’t get it.
I had still maintained a friendly office relationship with Jeremy. He was still up to the same woman-chasing antics.
“You been burning both ends of the candle, huh?” he asked.
“Not really,” I said as I walked over to the water-cooler.
“Why you so tired? What you do this weekend?” Jeremy asked. I wasn’t really sharing my outside life at work. He kept asking, though, so I told him.
“I went to this bowling party. This guy named something Kimble plays for the Eagles.”
“Not O-K, Omar Kimble. You was not at his party. How y’all meet him? You were in the party with him? So what were they doing, just sitting around? It was like girls everywhere, wasn’t it?”
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