by Marian Tee
“I’m sorry,” Josh yelled even as he backed away and kept himself out of reach from the other man. Oh, shit, Angelo Valencia made him want to piss in fear.
Lane had turned around to look at him, asking, “What’s he saying, Josh?”
He paled. He wanted to lie, unable to bear what Lane would think if she found out what he had done. But then he took a look at the other man’s face—
Josh gulped. Heartbreak was better than being six feet under.
“He’s saying I lied to him,” Josh said dully, “and he’s right.”
****
Angelo watched Lane finally stop waving as the bus carrying the convenience store boy sped away. He remembered the pitiful, forlorn look on the boy’s face as he stared at his Lane from his window seat, and Angelo had the rare urge to do something as childish as roll his eyes.
The boy was lucky, he thought grimly, Angelo had allowed him to leave town without blacking both his eyes out.
Beside him, Lane bent to pick up her bag from the ground and he automatically murmured, “Let me carry that for you.” As he took the bag, he said quietly, “You know he’s in love with you, right?”
Lane cringed at the question. “I wish I had known sooner,” she admitted. Because now, everything that used to puzzle her about Josh was finally making sense, and she couldn’t help feeling guilty at how dense she had been.
“I saw you kiss him,” Angelo said abruptly. He knew he was being pretty callous about it, but he simply wanted to get it over with.
Her eyes flew to him in horror. “You did?” She shook her head hastily. “I mean, you saw him try to—”
“Don’t lie,” he snapped.
“But I’m not lying,” she protested. “I had something in my eye, and he was laughing because I was being such a baby about it. He told me to close my eyes, then somehow he lost his balance—oh.” She paled. “He was trying to kiss me, wasn’t he?”
Angelo was torn between wanting to have his security go after the convenience store boy…and shaking the girl in front of him until maybe all her screws were in their proper places.
He said tensely, “Be honest with me, tesoro. I am no boy you need to lie to. Did he kiss you?”
She looked straight into his eyes. “No. He didn’t get to kiss me.”
Relief flooded him.
“I’ve never been kissed at all actually.”
Angelo sucked his breath. “Dio, tesoro.” Did she have to tell him that…now? Did she not realize how her words made Angelo literally ache to teach her all about kissing?
Lane started chewing on her lip, her anxiety evident.
“What is it?”
“Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe he really did lose his balance—”
“Are you kidding?” he exclaimed incredulously. “It’s the oldest trick in the book, tesoro! He was a coward, si? He did not have the guts to let you know of his feelings and so he tried to do that, so he would not be rejected.”
“I guess, but—”
“You guess?” He had a greater urge to shake her now.
“It’s just so weird. I’m not the kind of person that guys have secret crushes on, you know what I mean?”
No, he didn’t, but clearly she was not being coy. She truly was that naïve about men.
“May I ask you a question?” He strove to sound polite.
Feeling like she was suddenly treading on thin ice, she said uncertainly, “Umm…okay?”
He took a deep breath, working hard to rein in the urge to murder her friend. “Would it please you to see me behind bars?”
She gasped, “Gosh, no! Oh, not at all!”
“Then you should know that it is certain to happen,” he said calmly, “if I ever find you in a situation where another man is able to accidentally kiss you.” He clasped her face. “So to avoid such an incident, from now on, I will be the only man in your life. Si?”
She bit her lip. “But I have male friends…”
“And they can still be your friends,” he said generously, “but you are not to allow them within three feet of you.”
“Umm—”
He released her face. “I will not, however, force you to obey me. Just be warned that we Italians are an incredibly possessive race, prone to violence when we feel we have been slighted—”
Paling again, she said quickly, “I agree.”
He smiled. “I knew you would see it my way, tesoro.”
She smiled back at him. Everything seemed right with the world whenever Angelo Valencia smiled at her like that.
But then his smile faded. “Now that you know I thought I saw the two of you kissing, you have the answers to your questions earlier.”
Oh.
“Him lying about the two of you going out stopped me from speaking with you, but my hunger for you did not abate. However, being confronted – or the thought that I was being confronted by your feelings for each other—”
She looked up at him, eyes wide.
Angelo only needed to take one look at her face to know what she was about to say, and he forestalled her immediately, saying, “And so that’s that.” His tone warned her from saying anything else.
The warning fell on deaf ears.
“Oh, Angelo,” she breathed.
He winced.
“It means—”
“Whatever you think it means, it is best to keep it to yourself.”
“—you were jealous!”
He scowled.
“Like a lovesick boy,” she continued dreamily.
At the same time, he dreamt of shutting her up.
“Angelo Valencia III, jealous!” She sighed. “Oh.”
Deciding to get the ball back in his court, Angelo said unevenly, “Yes. I was jealous. Is the thought amusing? Does it make you happy to know you have made me feel that way?”
Her eyes flew open at his tone, and when she saw the disappointment in his gaze, she gasped, realizing she had hurt him. “Angelo—”
“I never thought you’d be the type to…” He slowly shook his head.
Appalled at the thought that she had somehow hurt him, she scrambled to apologize, “I’m so sorry, Angelo. If it means anything, I was jealous, too. Extremely jealous,” she said feelingly. “You even made me feel depressed—”
“Is that true?”
“Yes,” she said fervently.
“But you could have dated other men to forget me—”
“No,” she denied right away. “That’s not possible.”
“Because I’m the only man for you?”
“Oh, yes—” She stopped. Wait a minute. Something wasn’t right here. Her gaze narrowed at his face, and Angelo gazed back at her innocently.
Yeah right!
“You were faking the entire time,” she cried out.
His teeth flashed in a grin, and then he was laughing.
“Sadist!” But his smile was so beautiful and infectious it was impossible not to laugh with him.
“That’s what I am,” he agreed easily.
“I knew it!” Her lips pursed in mock disappointment. “I had a feeling about you, from the very start.”
“I’m glad.”
She blinked at the unexpected answer. Huh?
“Because I also knew you’re a masochist.” His tone was light, but his gaze was watchful and serious.
She forced herself to laugh, saying, “Sure, you did.”
He said agreeably, “From the very start.”
Chapter Five
Some girls talked a mile a minute to cover their awkwardness, and Lane wished she could be like them. Unfortunately, she wasn’t, and all she could do was walk beside Angelo in uneasy silence and concentrate on not tripping over her feet…or tongue.
Sadist. Masochist.
Just thinking of the words made her head hurt. If only he was joking. But he was not. She had seen the look in Angelo Valencia’s gaze, and she knew he believed he was…that, and she was…the other.
Sadist. Masochist.
/> She swallowed back a sigh. I’ll never use big words again, she thought glumly. If she had just called him ‘unfair,’ then maybe it would have ended there, and there wouldn’t be this weird, tense atmosphere—
“Lane—”
She practically jumped in shock, not expecting him to suddenly talk, and he frowned. “Are you okay?” She cleared her throat. “Yup.” As okay as one would be, after finding out the guy she had been crushing on apparently believed she was the type of person who got off being hurt.
And that was not true, she told herself. Not. True.
But a tiny part of her was not convinced, and this was what worried Lane the most.
To distract herself and to keep him from talking about things she didn’t want to know about, she pointed towards the intersection, saying unnecessarily, “We just cross the street, and that’s where Millie’s is.” When Angelo only nodded, she relaxed slightly, and they crossed the street in somewhat comfortable silence.
“Here it is,” she said as they reached the diner.
“It looks wonderfully quaint.” Angelo considered it thoughtfully, remembering that this was where she had waited for him that first day. And he hadn’t shown up, he thought grimly, because of that boy.
Noticing the grim look on his face, she asked worriedly, “Are you really sure this is okay?”
Realizing she must have misinterpreted his mood, he told her, “This place is good as any.” At her unconvinced look, he said gently, “I’m no snob, tesoro.” And not giving her time to answer, he pushed the door open for her, murmuring politely, “Shall we?”
“You remind me of Ray,” he heard her mumble as she stepped past him.
“I see. Is he your brother?”
“Oh, no. We’re not blood related.”
His lips compressed. He wanted to ask who the hell Ray was, but pride forbade him to utter a word about it.
“Ray’s my—”
A waitress cut her off, calling out to Lane cheerfully, and Angelo wanted to cheerfully strangle the other woman for her ill timing. Just when he was about to find out who Ray was, he thought broodingly.
“I thought you were flying back home,” the waitress was exclaiming as she led them to the only vacant booth left.
“Yeah, well…” Lane slid inside one side of the booth but stayed at the outer edge so Angelo would have no choice but to sit opposite her.
Angelo raised a brow at the seating arrangement.
Lane pretended not to notice.
A moment later, Angelo took his seat across her, and Lane relaxed.
Gretchen, the waitress, was looking at them with interest.
“Black coffee for me, please,” Angelo supplied.
“One extra large vanilla milkshake and fries for me, Gretch,” she said quickly, and hoping to forestall any awkward questions, she pretended to frown, saying, “I think someone’s calling you—”
“Oh, let someone else take care of it.” Gretchen grinned. “You’re more interesting. I never imagined you’d have a thing for sexy Italians.”
Lane gasped, “Gretch!”
The older woman winked at Angelo. “Who might you be?”
She watched Angelo introduce himself, impressing Gretchen and the other women in the diner, who were all openly eavesdropping on them.
“Are you guys going out?” Gretchen asked.
Lane groaned. “Oh my God, Gretch—”
“That is my objective, yes.”
“Oooooh. Now I know why this sweetie likes you.” She rolled her eyes. “This girl has it bad for men with big words.” She sniffed. “I’ve been telling her it’s better to look for men with big cocks—”
“Greeeeeeeeeetch.” Lane’s hands flew to cover her face in complete mortification.
“But I did tell you that,” the waitress protested.
“I know, but—”
But there was no point talking because Gretchen had turned back to Angelo, saying excitedly, “Tell me the truth. Did she have to lose her clothes to snag you? Be honest!”
“I swear to God, Gretch, if you don’t—”
The waitress laughed. “I’m going, I’m going.”
When the waitress left, Angelo took one look at Lane’s red face and said gently, “It’s okay. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” He paused. “But I do wish you had told me you’d be willing to go that far—”
Lane moaned in acute embarrassment and covered her face again. When he laughingly pulled her hands away, she tried to struggle but when it became clear he wasn’t letting go, she said almost pleadingly, “It’s not like what you think, okay? Gretchen just thinks I’m silly for spending my money on books, and when I told her she’s too cynical, thinking sex is the only way to get a guy, we ended up betting that if I ever end up dating—”
“Ah.”
“You believe me, right?”
He released her hands, saying, “Of course.”
She was about to sigh in relief when she saw Angelo’s lips curve in a smirk. “It’s true,” she insisted. “I would never—”
He raised a brow. Would you honestly never come to my bed if that were the only way?
She turned red, and when he laughed, she knew Angelo had his answer.
Gretchen came back then, saving her from having the need to insist on something she was no longer sure of. When the waitress left, she noticed him glancing at her milkshake and she asked, “Is it too weird that I ordered one?”
“Not at all.” Angelo managed to keep his voice bland. “It’s been a long time, but I once a dated a girl who’s…a bit like you.” It was a lie, though. The more time he spent with Lane, the more similarities between them turned up…and he didn’t like it.
Lane was surprised by Angelo’s revelation. “Really?” At his nod, she couldn’t help mumbling, “I bet she’s prettier than me.” She truly believed this, for she could not imagine someone like Angelo Valencia dating anyone imperfect. “Right?” Her voice was glum.
He said truthfully, “No.”
She perked up. “Uglier?”
“No.”
“Thinner?”
“No.”
“Curvier?”
“No.”
Rolling her eyes, she asked sarcastically, “Is she like my twin then?”
But Angelo only smiled, murmuring, “You really are a masochist.”
That was when the truth hit her, and she paled, feeling like she had just been sucker-punched.
Asking about one’s exes was uncool on a first date. Every girl was born with this knowledge, and Lane was no exception. And yet…she had done it anyway, had been unable to stop herself from doing so.
She had asked because something inside her demanded it, almost as if her heart had craved – anticipated – the twinge that would come.
Angelo watched Lane reach for her milkshake, and as she stirred it aimlessly with her straw, he heard her mumble, “I’m beginning to think you’re right.”
And so the moment had come, he thought.
He could choose to tell her to forget it, and she would stay as she was: innocent and undefiled. But he also knew that this decision would mean turning back on what they really were, and even if they did end up together, it would eventually run its course. People who could not accept the truth about their selves could never be happy, on their own…or with each other.
He had learned this the hard way.
“Angelo?” Lane’s caramel brown eyes pleaded with him for the truth. “Were you lying when you told me I was a m-masochist? Was it just a prank or something?”
On the other hand, he could throw caution to the wind and allow them to do what they had both needed – what they had both hungered for – since the very first day they met.
He heard himself say, “No.”
Lane jerked in her seat.
“You are a masochist, and I’m a sadist.”
She visibly trembled, and her lips parted as if the words had made her thirsty. The sight fed the hunger inside him, an
d he knew, just by the way she was looking at him, that he didn’t even have to seduce her into submitting to him.
She was already seduced.
His jaw clenched.
Not again, Angelo thought grimly.
The last time he allowed his desires to overrule his mind, he had ended up falling for the wrong girl.
And that girl had eventually left him.
“Angelo?”
Lane’s trembling voice pulled him out of the past. “What is it, tesoro?”
“Thanks for being patient with me, but I think I’m ready now.”
Her self-sacrificing tone made his lips twitch. “You sound like a soldier about to go to war.”
“It sort of feels that way,” Lane confessed almost guiltily. “Just thinking about it…” She took a deep breath. Keep it together, Lane. You’re just going to talk about it, that’s all. It’s not like you’re making a lifelong commitment.
She heard Angelo say, “You can ask me anything. I promise to answer everything with complete honesty.”
She nodded, mumbling pedantically, “Thank you.” She took another deep breath. “First…”
Angelo raised a brow.
“Is this legal?”
He absolutely hadn’t seen that coming. “Err, yes.’ He had to sternly repress his smile as he answered her.
“Right.” She tried not to show her dismay. She had been hoping it would be illegal, which would then be her way out. Clearing her throat, she lied, “That’s, um, good.”
Liar, Angelo thought, and he had to fight back another smile.
“My next question is…” She avoided looking at him as she asked, “Is this…a sin?”
He almost laughed. “Are you worried you’d go to Hell for it?”
She nodded.
“Obviously, I’m not expert on religion but if you want my truthful answer, I’d say…no. Sadism and masochism are not sins. Instead of thinking about it that way, you should merely see them as another form of experiencing pleasure.”
“I see.”
Seeing her anxiously gnaw at her lip, he said softly, “There is nothing for you to worry about, my Lane.”
She found herself nodding, her worries fading as her mind zeroed in on those last two words.