Attraction Series Boxed Set: Books 1-3

by J B Heller

  Except for Ashlynn.

  She didn’t want anything to do with me or my devilishly handsome curls. Even after that totally unexpected, but incredibly amazing kiss we shared at the library last week. She just walked away from me. How could she not have felt the sparks of electricity firing between us the way I did?

  “Son?”

  My father’s voice pulled me from my musings, “Yeah, Pup?”

  He raised a brow, “You feelin’ alright? One of your brothers get one in on you or somethin’?”

  I scrunched up my face, “Fuck no.”

  He tilted his chin as a sly grin began to spread across his still handsome face, my Pups still had it, “You finally got yourself a girl.”

  My eye widened, my gaze shot around the room making sure my brothers weren’t in there with us, “Shhh, old man.”

  His grin spread, “Why would I shush? My boy finally got himself a woman, I was beginning to question your, ah, tendencies.”

  I balked, rearing back, “You were what?” I hissed, and he shrugged, “I’m not gay, Dad. Jesus, how many times do we have to have this conversation? I like women, okay. I like pussy, vag, rugs, muff, whatever the fuck you want to call it as long as it’s not dick.”

  He burst out laughing, then I heard my mother’s shocked gasp, well shit. I turned to face her, “Ma, it’s not my fault. He started it,” I pointed accusingly at my father, “he thinks I’m gay!”

  Fuckers one and two burst into the room, “Told you Pups, he loves the cock.” Fucker two said. He was close enough to mum for her to slap his bicep and she did. He rubbed the spot then turned the pout on for her, “Sorry, Ma, I meant to say, He loves penis.” He flashed me a sardonic grin and I flashed him my middle finger as mum slapped him again.

  “Can’t we have one normal, non-homophobic lunch together as a family? Just once?” she pleaded, making eye contact with each of us one at a time.

  Mumbled apologies came from all of us and she clapped her hands and smiled, “Good, the chicken is done. Abe, Alec, you two can bring it in for me since you’re already standing.”

  They nodded and walked through the swinging door that connected the kitchen and dining rooms. Then Ma turned her attention back to me, “We will love you no matter who you chose to spend your life with, sweetheart.”

  My eyes bugged out of my head, “MA! I’m not fucking GAY!” I was yelling at my mother, I was a complete shit. I hung my head, “I’m sorry, Ma. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

  She walked towards me and rested her hand on my shoulder when she reached me, “It’s normal to feel defensive about these things, if you’re not ready to tell us, we don’t have to talk about it right now.”

  I rolled my eyes, and mumbled, “Jesus, help me,” under my breath then cleared my throat. “If you must know, there is someone,” I made eye contact with my mum, then my dad who was grinning like a fool, “a female someone. But she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

  As I was speaking the arseholes came back into the room, catching the last of my little speech. They along with dad started laughing their arses off. “It’s really not that funny.” I muttered.

  Ma’s hand on my shoulder tightened, “Well you’re probably better off without her. If she can’t see how incredible you are then you don’t need her.” She gave me a stern look then rounded the table to take her seat next to Dad.

  “She doesn’t know how incredible I am yet, Ma. But she will, then she won’t be able to stay away from me.” I shot her a wink across the table and she grinned.

  “Yeah, until she finds out you’re into dudes.” Alec laughed and Abe fist bumped him.

  I turned my glare on them, “Just because you two like cock doesn’t mean I do.”

  “Axel said cock, Ma!” Abe announced as if Ma didn’t hear it.

  Dad stomped on my foot under the table, “Ow!”

  Dad glared at the three of us, “Would you three stop bickering like a bunch of hormonal teenage girls. Your mother prepared a nice meal for us, now quit your bitchin’ and eat.”

  Mumbled, “Yes, Pups,” and “Sorry, Ma,” were voiced then we dug into the food spread across the table.

  Time spent with my family, even my arsehole brothers, was always time I cherished.

  At the end of the day, I knew my brothers had my back if I ever needed it. Not that they would ever admit it out loud. But believe it or not, I was not the coolest kid when in school, and yet, I was never picked on, not once. Thanks to them beating the shit out of anyone who so much as looked at me funny.

  When Abe and Alec left I hung back to talk to my Pups. He was a ladies man back in the day, so I was hoping he’d have some advice for me when it came to Ashlynn.

  “Alright, son, let me have it. What’s going on?” he asked when we sat down with a couple of beers on the back deck.

  I held my beer in one hand and picked at the label with the other, “I met this chick, she’s smart, sexy, and kinda funny too. But I’m pretty sure she hates me. And the worst part is, I haven’t even had time to piss her off, she just hated me from the get go.”

  Dad nodded as he ran his calloused hand over the stubble covering his chin. “Ah-ha.”

  My face dropped, “That’s it? Ah-ha? That’s all you’ve got for me? You’re supposed to tell me what to do. How do I get her to give me the time of day?”

  He took a hearty swig from his beer then levelled me with his clear blue eyes, “Son, if you want her that badly, you’ll figure it out. Your mother didn’t come easy, but the best ones never do.” He winked, then looked back out over the yard, as he took another pull from his beer.

  Huffing, I finished peeling the front label off my bottle, “Gee, thanks Pups, that’s so insightful.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  I didn’t need to go into the office Monday morning since I’d taken my case files home with me on Friday. I had planned to go over them over the weekend, but I couldn’t concentrate for shit. All my waking thoughts were consumed by Ashlynn. Hell, even when I was sleeping she was on my mind.

  I had this one dream, hell it was so good. I actually thought it was real, then I woke up- fucking my mattress.

  Not my finest hour.

  There was just something about her that reached out to me, but I couldn’t pin it down. She was my wet dream come to life. Long legs, curvy body, full arse, lush lips, and long red hair that fell down her back in waves. Her skin is pale, and scattered with freckles, and her eyes, god damn those eyes. They’re the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen.

  I could get lost in those eyes. If only she’d let me.

  I’d spent my weekend doing what I always did, reading, drinking wine, and reading some more. Liz had tried to get me to go out with her, as she did every weekend, and I had refused her as I did, every weekend.

  I had no interest in going out and getting drunk so some sleaze could rub himself on me under the guise of dancing. No thank you, I’d rather rub myself to thoughts of my current fictional boyfriend.

  I’d tried telling Liz I was fictosexual, but she laughed in my face. From the first time I heard the term, I knew it was the perfect way to describe my sexuality. I was only into fictional men. No real life one could measure up to all that was Logan Kade, or Kyland Barrett or Trevor Bradford, hell any Bradford, I’m not fussy.

  There was a time I wanted the attention of men. But that was a long time ago. Fictional men were safer. They couldn’t reach out of the pages and hurt me, they couldn’t slay me with their words. No, fictional men were perfect. The ones I read about were anyway, or at the very least, they were perfectly imperfect. All the same, they couldn’t hurt me.

  My mother says I shouldn’t let one experience ruin me. That I’m too young to have shut out the very prospect of love. But I don’t see it that way. I did let love in once, and it nearly destroyed me. Literally. I was in the hospital for a month. The days that followed my release were the darkest days I’ve ever experienced.

  The court case dragged on for
what felt like forever. It seemed pretty cut and dry to me, but the justice system, as they call it, didn’t see it my way. What should have been an open and shut case, turned into the bane of my existence. I almost wished I hadn’t pressed charges. Almost.

  By the time I snapped myself out of my pity party, my fists were clenched so tight my nails had left deep indents in my palms. It wasn’t often that I thought about that time, not if I could help it. I still suffered from nightmares on an almost nightly basis. The panic attacks had reduced significantly in the last couple of years, but they still snuck up on me on the odd occasion.

  I kept a diary since my release from the hospital. It was a suggestion from the hospital psychologist, and it was surprisingly helpful. Whenever I felt like I couldn’t move forward I would read past entries and see how far I really had come.

  It had been five years since the attack, and I was at a place I never thought I could be. I’d moved away from my home town two years ago and now I had my own flat. My own little sanctuary.

  I’d chosen to move somewhere I would at least know one person, but in general it would be a fresh start. So I’d followed my best friend Liz. She had received a great job offer and when she told me she was going to turn it down so she could stay closer to me, in case I needed her, I’d made the decision right there that I would follow her one day, sooner rather than later. Six months later I booked my flight and packed my bags.

  I was gradually returning to my old self. And it felt really good, amazingly good actually. The small amount of time I’d spent with Axel lately had the old me just itching to come out and hit him with some old school sass.

  Just the thought of him had me smiling. And that took me by surprise.

  I didn’t seek out male friendships. I generally shied away from any kind of interaction with men, full stop. But he seemed different. It was clear he was interested in me, for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. I could tell he didn’t mean me any harm, but neither had Zane. Not initially.

  I closed the book I was reading, I couldn’t get into it when thoughts of Zane and Axel swarmed my mind. I went to take another sip of wine only to realise I’d already finished my glass, so I went to the kitchen and poured myself another.

  Relaxing back into my comfy couch I pulled the latch for the foot rest to release and snuggled back into the plush cushions. My life had been turned upside down and I was still having trouble righting it. It’s funny how one single moment can change your entire world. I didn’t want my past to keep controlling my future, but I just couldn’t move past this point on my own.

  Liz wanted to help me, and she had the best intentions, but this wasn’t something a random hook up or three could fix. In fact, just the thought of randomly hooking up with someone made my skin crawl. I’m pretty sure I physically couldn’t, even if I wanted to.

  I hadn’t let a man touch me in five long years. It was going to take a lot of trust and hell, some pixie dust too if you’ve got it, to get me to relax enough to let someone that close again.

  And somehow, I could maybe see Axel being that person.

  In that instant I made a decision that had the potential to once again, change my life. If Axel came to see me again, I wouldn’t send him away.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  I needed a plan of attack. I had to be smart about this. I figured I had one more shot, one last chance to win Ashlynn over. She’d blown me off twice, so I was hoping and praying that a third and final attempt would prove to her I wasn’t just out to tag her and bag her, that I actually wanted to know her.

  When it comes to women, I know virtually nothing, except what gets them hot and bothered. I’m pretty sure most men are in the same boat, but I’d kill for a little insight right now.

  I’d been trying to come up with a game plan for the last week, and I still had shit all. I hated to admit it, but I knew it was time to call in reinforcements.

  Thursday Night…

  I sat nursing a beer in the large corner booth at Freddie’s that we usually commandeered when we all got together, waiting for the boys to show when Sal sauntered over and slid in beside me, “How’s my favourite PI?” she drawled.

  Usually I’d flirt back and forth with her for a while, not that I’d ever tap that, hell no. She actually tried going for gold with Gabe one night, after he’d passed out. Now I’m all for enthusiasm, but that’s not cool. The bitch is crazy, so I stayed on her good side, but I didn’t have it in me to be polite tonight so I ignored her.

  That is, until her hand made contact with my inner thigh and I nearly jumped out of my skin. “What the fuck, Sal?” I hissed when her hand made contact with my flaccid cock.

  She smirked, “I figured it’s about time we cut the bullshit and go straight for what we both want.” She crooned.

  I shuddered, “Hate to break it to you Sal, but it’s not going to happen, not now, not ever.” I said as I wrapped my fingers around her wrist and removed her hand from my body.

  Her eyes narrowed, she was pissed, “Excuse me?”

  Sighing deeply I explained further, “Sally, you’re crazy as shit. There is no way in hell my cock is ever going near your man-eating vag.”

  Her eyes flamed, I’d seen crazy eyes from bitches before but she truly made me question the wisdom of my words. Maybe I should have let her down easy? Then her features morphed into the picture of calm, which only freaked me out more.

  “I’m going to assume you’ve had a rough day and you didn’t really mean to speak to me like that, Axel.” Her chin dipped down a little as she licked her lips, “Until next time.” She murmured and slid out of the booth before strutting away.

  What the actual fuck?

  I had no idea what had just happened, and I don’t think I wanted to. I’d have to talk to the boys about relocating to a bar far, far away from this one, for any future guy’s nights.

  Bray arrived first, followed by Gabe and Kai, “Where’s Dex?” I asked Bray when we were all seated with a fresh brew in hand.

  He shrugged, “Sloan was moody as fuck today, he’s probably at home doing damage control.”

  Well shit, Sloan was one hell of a woman, like the baddest bitch I knew. While my other friends’ women were strong, they were also soft and gentle. But Sloan, she was a whole different ball game. I reckon she could kill with her glare alone The woman had resting bitch face, but damn was it hot.

  Dex had his hands full with her, she had demons even I would be afraid of. I had a hell of a lot of respect for the dude.

  I lifted my beer, “Good luck to him, he’ll need it.”

  The boys clinked their beers with mine in agreement just as Dex slid into the end of the booth. “Ladies,” he murmured, nodding to the group. “Abe and Alec not coming?” he questioned.

  I grimaced, “Those bastards don’t need to be a part of this.” I muttered. My brothers had stolen every girl I’d so much as looked at in high school. There was no way I was letting them near Ashlynn until she and I were a solid couple. “Right, you fuckers better not laugh at me, I’m only coming to you with this because I’m out of options.”

  The atmosphere changed from jovial to serious in that instant, and I held all of their attention. “What’s going on?” Kai asked.

  I took a deep pull from my beer, then looked him in the eye. “I’ve got a situation I don’t know how to handle. I’ve been trying to make headway, but it just blows up in my face each time.” I grit my teeth in frustration, “I’m about to lose my fucking mind.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” Gabe asks.

  “Her name is Ashlynn and she hates my fucking guts.” I sighed, then chugged the remainder of my drink.

  Laughter, loud and guttural filled my ears. Fucking arseholes.

  “A chick? This is about a piece of arse?” Bray chuckled, and I seethed.

  “She’s not a piece of arse, she’s going to be my future wife you bastard so watch your mouth.”

  The table fell silent at my outburst, and I realis
ed I just showed all my cards without meaning to. Shit.

  It was Kai who spoke first, “So, you’re not gay? I thought that’s what this meeting was about, I thought this was you— coming out.” He used air quotes for the last two words.

  My jaw dropped, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  He shrugged, “No,” scratching his chin he asked, “Are you sure you’re not gay? It’s totally okay if you are. We won’t judge you. You know we love you man, no matter who you want to fuck. Mia just found out one of her cousins is gay, she said she’d be happy to set you two up.”

  My eyes almost popped out of my head, “Mia thinks I’m gay? What the fuck is wrong with you lot? When have I ever given any indication that I’m into dudes?”

  The guys exchanged a look, one I’d never seen before, “Well you are kinda pretty,” Dex said, “You have more shit for your hair than Ivy does,” Gabe threw in, “I’m pretty sure Stella wears the same pants as you,” Bray added.

  I ran my hands through my hair and gripped it at the back of my neck, “Fucking unbelievable.” I muttered. Slamming my palms on the table in front of me I announced, “I am not now, nor have I ever been, gay.” I enunciate each word as clearly as possible. “That is the last time I’m going to say it. Now, are you fuckers going to help me or what?”

  Silence lingered for another minute as they took in my words. “Alright, so what is it you need from us?” Dex asked, breaking the silence.

  And just like that, the topic of my sexual orientation was over. Thank fuck. “I need a plan. I asked her out and she shut me down with some line about not dating,” I ran my hand through my hair again, “I kissed her and it was fucking intense and I know she was into it then she pushed me away. I want this woman like I’ve never wanted anything in my life and I have no fucking clue how to get her.”

  The guys were nodding, but it was Dex that caught my attention. The look on his face said he knew what I was going through. “Dex? Got anything for me man?”