by J B Heller
I didn’t get any messages or phone calls from Axel the next day, which was really strange. I’d gotten used to conversing with him in some way at least once a day, and the lack of communication today had me feeling uneasy.
Had I done something to put him off last night? I wracked my brain, but I couldn’t come up with anything.
Ashlynn hadn’t left my mind all weekend. I wanted more than anything to track her down and just hold her. Use her body to find the comfort I so badly needed right now. Instead I sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair listening to the sounds of monitors beeping and machines humming.
After I’d dropped Ashlynn back home I’d pulled out my phone to check my messages, since I switched my phone to silent whenever I was spending time with her. Nine missed calls and thirteen messages were waiting for me.
Both my brothers had tried to call me, repeatedly. I opened the first voicemail and swallowed the lump of dread that had taken up residence in my throat since seeing all the missed calls show up on my screen, then pressed play.
~Where the fuck are you? Alec has tried to call you three fucking times!!! Get your arse to the hospital. It’s Ma, we don’t know what happened. You just need to get there.~
The next…
~AXEL! What the fuck man! Why aren’t you picking up?~
I didn’t bother listening to the rest or checking the texts, I threw my truck in reverse and flew out of the parking lot of the library and headed to the hospital, dialling Abe on the way. He picked up on the first ring.
“It’s about fucking time. Where are you?” Abe boomed through the line.
“I’m on my way. What’s wrong? Is Ma okay?” Please god let her be okay.
Silence, “Abe?” Still nothing, “For fuck’s sake, tell me she’s okay!” I demanded.
I heard him pull in a deep breath, “She’s in surgery. She was rear ended by a student driver at a set of lights. The impact pushed her car into the oncoming traffic.”
My heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe. I had to pull my truck over, as the words sunk in… Surgery. Impact. Oncoming traffic.
“Axel!” Abe’s voice pulled me back to the present.
“I’m fifteen minutes away. Where should I meet you?”
Abe told me the floor they were on and I hung up. I had to get my shit together before I put my truck back on the road, lest I be the cause of another accident.
After taking a few calming breaths I sent a quick text to Gabe and Kai.
~Hospital, second floor waiting room, Ma, car accident.~
I knew they would come, Ma thought of them both as extensions of the family and I knew they considered her a second mother.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
By some miracle Ma was the only person hurt seriously in the collision that ended up involving six vehicles. Others suffered from broken wrists, whiplash, torn muscles, and fractured ribs. The officer who explained all this to us seemed to be comforted by the fact, but it wasn’t his mother in surgery currently fighting for her life.
I wanted to punch the guy. No, I wanted beat the absolute shit out of him. But I knew it wasn’t his fault. None of this was and I had to pull myself together before I did something stupid, like assault a cop or track down the student driver responsible for causing all this.
Sitting in the waiting room with dad and my brothers waiting for someone to come and tell us something, anything, was pure torture. We took up one whole corner of the room, others who came in to use the room steered clear of us. I could only imagine how we looked to them.
None of us could be called small or even average sized men. We were all over 6”, broad, and muscular. And we were all dying inside.
When Gabe and Kai arrived they took the two seats closest to us. The six of us created a huddle as Abe explained to them what had happened and what the police officer had told us. He seemed to be the only one capable of speech at this point.
Then we all settled back into our seats and resumed the waiting game.
Two hours later a doctor came into the room, “Jamieson family?” he asked. We all stood and the doctor physically flinched. He ran his hand through his thinning hair and cleared his throat then made eye contact with my dad. “Your wife is in stable but critical condition. We’ve had to place her in an induced coma—”
“A fucking what?” Dad got up in the doctors face as he yelled.
It took both my brothers and myself to pull him back. The doctor had paled and his hands were now shaking. “I’m sorry Mr. Jamieson. But it had to be done. So she can heal. The swelling prevents us from knowing if there was any damage to her brain. The coma will give her body the fighting chance it needs to recover.”
Dad’s face was red, his fists clenched, and his body rigid. He was about to go for the guy again when we pounced, holding him back. “She needs this, Pups.” I said in his ear, as I used my body as a barrier between him and the doctor.
Gabe stepped forward and took control of the situation with the doctor, leading him out of the waiting room and into the hall, away from my volatile father who was about to lose his shit.
Abe took control of the situation with dad, “Dad, you need to calm the fuck down. If you kill the doctor, who’s going to make Ma better? Huh? Come on old man, just sit down.”
Dad shoved at his chest with both hands, causing Abe to stumble back a step or two, but he was back up in Dad’s face not a second later as Dad screamed at him, “Sit down? I’ve been sitting down in this fucking room for hours!”
“Fine! Don’t sit, come out to the parking lot and beat the shit out of me. Will that make you feel better?” Abe yelled right back.
Alec was sitting back in the seat he’d been in before the doctor came in. His elbows on his knees, he was hunched over gripping his head in his hands, pulling at his hair. “Shut up.” He said softly, but Dad and Abe were still going for each other, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Alec screamed, his voice breaking at the end as he collapsed backward in his seat.
Dad and Abe froze at Alec’s outburst. Before anyone could say anything else Gabe walked back in and we all focused on him. “You done scaring the other people in the room?” he asked.
Dad instantly looked ashamed, and hung his head, but Abe stood tall.
Gabe told us Mum’s room number and the floor the ICU was located on. But we could only go in one at a time. Leaving the waiting room behind the others, I cast an apologetic look to the others in the room, instead of being met with disapproving stares I saw nothing but compassion and understanding.
Exiting the elevator on the next floor up we decided that dad should go sit with Ma first, and we would wait in the waiting room for our turns.
That was how the rest of the night was spent, and now here I was, sitting next to my Ma, hoping, wishing, and praying she made it through this.
Before Gabe and Kai left I pulled them aside, rubbing my neck I pulled at the hair at the base. “Can one of you keep an eye on the Zane situation for a couple of days? I’m not going to be able to concentrate for shit until this shit with Ma is sorted. I can’t have that fuck slippin’ by me and getting near Ash.”
“Of course, we got it covered. Focus on your family.” Kai said, giving my shoulder a squeeze before leaving.
“We’ll keep you posted.” Gabe said then he too left.
I’d been trying to track Zane down since I discovered he’d skipped his parole check-in. But he was yet to have made an appearance anywhere. He was off the grid, and it didn’t sit well with me.
Three days later…
Ma still hasn’t woken up. The doctor says it’s not necessarily a bad thing, and that the swelling has reduced significantly. Which sounds good, right? Except they still can’t tell us when or if she will wake up.
My dad is going insane. He hasn’t slept or eaten since Friday. He’s rockin’ crazy eyes, half a beard, and anytime someone so much as looks at him he’s ready to rip their head off. Needless to say, it’s been a tense few days.
Gabe and Kai have been checki
ng in with me every day and Bray and Dex even called to check how things were going, too. My extended family would never know how much it meant to me that they cared enough to make a simple phone call. It meant the world. It meant that I was a part of their family as much as they were part of mine.
I still hadn’t called Ashlynn, and I felt like a dick for it. I’d hounded her to go out with me, even just as my friend but still, to then just switch to radio silence, it was a dick move. But I just couldn’t. She had enough of her own shit going on in that beautiful head of hers, I didn’t need to burden her with mine.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket I decided to flick her a quick text, just to let her know I hadn’t forgotten about her.
~Hey Ash. Sorry I haven’t called. Family emergency. Thinking about you. Hope to see you soon.~
Dropping my phone on the small table beside the hospital bed, I reached forward and took my mum’s hand in mine. It was cold and I hated it. Resting my forehead against the edge of the bed, I began to cry like a child. I would do anything to trade places with her right now, anything.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
For three long days I’d agonised over what went wrong with Axel. He’d seemed extremely interested in me. Calling and texting me all the time and then nothing. Not a peep from him.
I went to chew my thumb nail, but remembered what he’d said about it having more germs than a toilet seat and pulled my hand away from my mouth instantly.
He’d made his mark on me, and I couldn’t get him out of my head. Was that his plan all along? Get me to start feeling something for him then drop off the face of the earth? Maybe it was payback for my instant rejection when we first met. I really didn’t want that to be the case, but I couldn’t think of any other reason for it.
Axel was sweet, and gorgeous, and funny. I let out a deep sigh just thinking about him.
“You all right there, Ash?” Sammy asked me as she returned from her mid-morning break.
Blowing my fringe out of my eyes, I turned my gaze on her. “I went out with Axel on Friday and he hasn’t called me since.”
Sammy looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “You,” she paused, “went out with that amazing specimen that brought you lunch the other day?” she asked with wide eyes.
I rolled mine in return, “Yes, I know it’s not a regular thing for me but—”
She cut me off, “Regular? Pfft, it’s unheard of. You don’t date. You don’t socialise outside of work, like, ever. It was shocking enough when he showed up the other day but you— you went out with him too?”
My shoulders slumped, she was right. “Exactly, and I finally take a chance and poof, he disappears.”
She waved me off like it was no big deal. “Do you think he’d let me lick his bicep?”
I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. “What? You’re insane.”
Sammy shrugged then bounced her brows, “Answer the question— the bicep licking?”
I shuddered, “You’re so weird.”
With a shrug she turned away to get the returns cart ready, “Of course I’m weird. I’m nineteen and I work in a library. By choice. What do you expect?”
I assumed her question was rhetorical, and went back to filling out an order form for some new books. I mean, I’m only twenty-three and I work here by choice. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. This is my dream job. I’m surrounded by books, and there’s a great coffee machine in the break room. What more could I ask for?
A phone call. My annoyingly insecure inner voice said in the back of my mind.
Deciding I needed a caffeine hit, and now, I got up to take my break. “Front is all yours, I need caffeine.” I told Sammy as I walked away.
Once I was sitting on the lounge in the corner, holding my steaming mug of nectar from the gods, my phone dinged with a text. I slipped it out of my skirt pocket, -best invention ever- and saw Axel’s name on the display.
Instantly my heart beat faster and my hands started to shake causing me to almost, but not quite, spill my coffee. I put my steaming mug on the little table beside the couch before opening the message.
~Hey Ash. Sorry I haven’t called. Family emergency. Thinking about you. Hope to see you soon.~
I wasn’t sure if he was giving me the brush off or if he was being serious. I paused to think of how to best respond before I finally started clicking away at the screen.
~I hope everything is okay with your family. Nothing serious, I hope. Let me know if there’s anything I can do. I’ve been thinking about you too and look forward to seeing you again.~
That didn’t sound too needy or desperate, right? I hoped not. Maybe I shouldn’t have offered to help? And I probably should have left out that I was looking forward to seeing him again. Crap, texting was hard work when you didn’t know where you stood. You couldn’t get a feel for the words the way you could with a phone call. I decided then and there I hated texting.
When I was rinsing out my mug my phone dinged again, I rushed back over to the couch where I’d left it and check the screen, Axel. I was so relieved I hadn’t ruined things with that stupid text.
~My Ma was in an accident. I’ve been at the hospital all wknd. Nothing you can do. God, I want to see your face.~
My heart was in my throat. I hated hospitals. They brought back memories I’d rather not dredge up on purpose. But he’s said he wanted to see me. I could do this, for him I could at least try. I wanted to try.
The decision was made before I even realised it, I’d left the back room and snatched my bag from behind the front desk, letting Sammy know, “You’re in charge. I’ve got to duck out for an hour.”
Her head snapped up, “What? I’m not qualified to run this place on my own.”
I leaned over the counter towards her, “You will be fine. It’s no different to when I’m on break. You can call me if you need anything. Okay?”
My words reassured her and she nodded, “Alright. But keep your phone close!” she called out to my retreating back.
Standing at the nurses desk I realised I didn’t know Axel’s mother’s name. I closed my eyes and thought back to Axel introducing himself to me, Jamieson, Axel Jamieson.
“I’m here to see Mrs. Jamieson, can you tell me where I can find her please?”
The nurse clicked a few keys on the computer in front of her then directed me to the ICU. A ton of lead settled in my gut. The ICU- that was not a good sign. No wonder Axel had told me there was nothing I could do.
As I travelled up the elevator, I felt chills run up my arms. I hated this place and I’d never even been here before. But, been in one hospital, been in them all, right? Memories from my stay flashed behind my closed eyelids as I leaned back against the cool metal wall and clung to the handrail.
I’m doing this for Axel. I’m doing this for Axel. I kept repeating in my head until the bell dinged, signifying my arrival on the fourth floor. I pulled in a deep breath then stepped out of the elevator, a wave of determination sweeping over me as I strode down the hall towards her room.
When I reached the right number, I glanced in through the glass side panel and saw Axel hunched over the side of the bed. A woman in her mid-fifties lay motionless except for the slight rise and fall of her chest, in the white metal hospital bed.
Before I could enter the room a man came up behind me, “Can I help you?”
His gruff voice startled me. But when I turned to face him I was met with kind eyes. Kind, but tired. “I’m a friend of Axel’s.” I said and then I noticed the other similarities. He looked like an older version of Axel. His eyes narrowed momentarily then brightened as if coming to a realisation.
He held out his hand, “I’m Axel’s old man. It’s nice to meet you Ashlynn.”
My jaw dropped in shock, “You know who I am?” I asked.
A small tight smile lifted the edges of his lips as he nodded, “I do. Axel told me about you a couple of weekends ago.”
I shook my head, “He couldn’t have. I mean—” I
was lost for words.
The man raised a single brow, “He knows enough. And you’re here, aren’t ya? That tells me you know enough too.”
Without another word he pushed the door open and left me standing in the hallway alone.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Your woman’s here.” Dads voice came from behind me.
I shifted my gaze enough to look up at him, “What are you talking about?”
My eyes tracked the movement of his chin when he gestured towards the door he’d just come through. Ashlynn was standing in the hallway. What the hell? I jumped to my feet and headed for the door.
“Ashlynn, what are you doing here?” I asked, as I entered her space.
She spun around to face me, and I’d never seen a more beautiful face in my life. My shoulders sagged with relief, I didn’t know why she was here but I was grateful. I didn’t even wait for her to answer, reaching out for her and pulling her into my body.
As soon as I had her in my arms I knew I never wanted to let her go. Screw friendship. I wanted her in every way possible. Dropping my face into the curve of her neck I inhaled her sweet scent deep into my lungs. “God, I’ve missed you.”
I hadn’t noticed how stiff she was until that moment, when she finally relaxed into me. “I missed you too,” she whispered.
How long we stood there I don’t know, but when I was finally able to pull myself away from her, it was only to move us out of the hallway and down to the waiting room.
Once inside, I directed her to the opposite side of the room to my brothers. None of us had left the hospital all weekend except to run home to shower and change. Abe and Alec watched closely as I sat Ashlynn across the room, making sure her back was to them.
I didn’t want to share her, especially not with them. Handsome fuckers would swoop in and try stealing her away from me. I was too far gone for that to happen and be able to survive it.