“We didn’t make it to you on time, and I’ve had a break with reality. This isn’t really happening.” He paled. That couldn’t be good. I looked up as movement caught my attention. In the clouds, numbers flew above my head. No, he was fighting the VR. He’d take control of it soon and then that would be that.
“No, you saved me. I’m on Artemis. The problem is not me. The problem is something has gone wrong with the machines inside of you that connect your brain to your eyes. They have gone into a loop. You aren’t communicating with any of us anymore. Just the machines. You have left our reality and seem to be linked with the ship.”
He nodded, his dark eyes widening. “Really?”
“Even now, you are trying to destroy this reality and take control. Listen to me. I don’t know how much time we have. Ari can fix it. Maybe. He thinks he can. But there’s risk. He won’t do it without permission. Canyon, I’m not going to sugar coat this. You could be permanently blinded. You could be brain dead. You could die. Or you could wake up with your eyes working, the nanos gone. Obviously, nothing is simple. We won’t do it if you don’t want us to. You aren’t in any danger. You’re… just gone from us.”
He cupped my face before he bent to kiss me. It was the lightest touch followed by more pressure. I closed my eyes. I’d told him what he needed to hear. He hadn’t answered me, and I knew I should argue, but oh—how I just wanted to kiss and kiss Canyon.
After a minute, he pulled back to stare into my eyes. “You gave me everything. You are so beautiful. I always hoped I’d somehow get to see you. You are bathed in your Waverly light and you have this incredible face to go with it.”
The old me would have argued. I wouldn’t do that now. If he thought I was beautiful, then I was just lucky he did. “Canyon, I love you. I missed you so much. I thought I’d never see you again, ever.”
He kissed my forehead. “I’m so glad it worked. I need you to know that I never coded you into the time scanner. The others, yes I did. I’ll admit it. I’ve owned it. I’m devious sometimes. I know how to win. The three of them? That’s how you win a time war. You take Rohan, Jackson, and Ari and you are unbeatable.”
He’d done that? “They didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t do that to you. I don’t know how it happened. I need you to believe me.”
This was goodbye. I could hear it. He was telling me all the things he wanted to say. “I do. Canyon, listen…”
“Waverly,” he interrupted me. “I never thought to make it past childhood. Every day since I left Evander was a gift and to somehow have you? I couldn’t have imagined it. I love you. I wouldn’t have missed a moment. Not one. Every second of that awful place brought me to you. You were the reason why. I travel through time and like a beacon you call me home. You bring light to my universe where there was only darkness. Sometimes I want to shake you and say wake up, you can do better than me.”
I kissed him, hard. “Stop that. Don’t think of yourself that way. You’re amazing. I’ll tell you all the reasons why. Okay, number one you are…”
He joined our lips together, effectively stopping me before he pulled back, tears in his eyes. “It’s enough that you think there are reasons. Okay, Waverly, I won’t drag this on. I have no idea when I’m going to destroy this moment for myself. My brain is struggling to get rid of the illusions. I’m being selfish. I don’t want to give up looking at your beautiful face.” He steeled his soldiers. “I’ll tell you the truth. Bravery has fled. I’ve not yet told you to tell Rohan to assert protocol two.”
“What is that?” We hadn’t discussed that as an option.
“Protocol two says that when one of us is so injured there was no way we’d make it back to safety, the other soldiers end the wounded man rather than leave him there alive to suffer. It’s a… kindness among men raised with little honor. It’s one thing we understand and do for each other. But I’m not going to do that because I’m selfish now. I want time with you, and I know if you told Ro that he’d do it and then neither of you would forgive yourselves.”
He was right. “So not that. And thank goodness.”
“Tell Ari to do it. Get the machines out.” He visibly swallowed. “Waverly, if I’m brain dead, tell Ro protocol 2, okay? I won’t be a burden. Blindness, if I end up that way, maybe we can figure out how to fix or repair. The rest of it? No. This is my choice. Yes, I consent. Do it. And if it doesn’t work, tell Ari and Jackson that I thank them for trying. They became brothers to me.” He kissed me again. “Now get out of here. I love you.”
I was ripped back into my body, and the glasses fell to the floor. What had happened? I hadn’t thought release. Jackson gripped my arm. “You okay? You weren’t there very long.”
Rohan stared up at a screen. “He overloaded the VR. I think it looks like he kept trying to rewrite the programming to make it more efficient. Damn Canyon and his need to fix. It won’t work for him now.”
He’d known it and that was why he’d ended it. I sighed. “He consents.” I smiled at Jackson before turning to Rohan and Ari. “But if he’s brain dead he wants protocol two.”
Rohan hissed in his breath. “Fuck. Yes, of course. That’s a given.”
Ari looked away. He must have known what it was because he suddenly got busy messing with a knob on the med machine that controlled pain dosing.
I was so tired. I didn’t know how I’d ever feel energized again.
I must have fallen asleep in the bathtub. I’d really only meant to rest in the hot water for a little while. My memory of my last time on Artemis was that the hot water had been spotty. The ship was old—clearly it was sound, since it kept making it through the black hole—but there was some comfort things it was lacking. This time, however, the water had been practically scorching. I imagined the better functioning was thanks to Canyon.
I’d knocked right out.
Ari stroked a hand over my hair. “Can’t fall asleep in the tub, my love.”
I came awake slowly. “I…”
He got up, grabbing a towel. “Come on. The bed is better. It’s my turn with you. At least I’m saying it is. Rohan’s sitting with Canyon. Jackson’s flying.”
“I love a night with you.” I let him wrap me in the blue towel before he took me from the room. “Ari.” I sighed, leaning my head against his shoulder. “You were one of my regrets. No, that sounds wrong. We were never actually together. Not you fully inside of me. That was a regret. I thought I was going to die on that planet and never get to make love to you.”
He sucked in a long breath. “I thought about that, too. But, baby, that day in your room on The Farm with the hail coming down outside. Wrapped in your blankets. We touched each other. We held each other.”
“You made me come for the first time.”
His breath was in my ear. “That was lovemaking, too. Better than anything I’d ever had. Which is not to say that I didn’t have nights here that, yes, I regretted it, too.”
I dropped the towel. “We’re here, now.”
He gave me a small smile. “You were just out cold in the tub.”
I backed up onto the bed. Someone had changed the sheets. I’d figure out who to thank later. “I’m awake right now.”
He walked toward me. “You sure?”
“Very.” He leaned over, and I tugged on the slight growth on his face. “You need to shave. I miss your sweet cheeks.”
He kissed me, slowly. “I’ll get to that first thing.”
I wrapped my legs around his waist, dragging him down on top of me. “I’ve also noticed…”
When I didn’t finish that thought, he raised his eyebrows. “Do tell. What have you noticed?”
“That you seem to be pulling out the nicknames. Baby. Sweetheart. Can you not remember my name?” That had been Ari’s reason for doing it to most women. It was easier than recalling their names.
He kissed my chin. “I know your name quite well, Waverly Sandler. It is imprinted on my heart. I will never forget it. Not even when
I’m an old man, leaving the universe for parts unknown, and you are sitting next to me, holding my hand. I’ll always know it. I’ll know it after. I just want to call you pet names. They’re all yours. You are my baby. You are my sweetheart. You are mine.”
I didn’t want to think of him going anywhere, especially not, as he’d put it, other parts unknown. “I do like the idea of growing old together. But maybe I go first. I like that better.”
He hissed in his breath. “No frickin’ way. I’m a doctor, sweetheart. I will keep you alive. Trust me on that.”
I kissed him because I had to. Because he was Ari. Because I’d hollered at him in the hallway once and told him that no one had ever made me feel less of a woman than he did when that couldn’t have been further from the truth anymore. I wanted to be this person for him. There was nothing better than bathing in the love that came from Ari’s gaze. I could drown in it and be happy. I didn’t have any clothes, but I helped him out of his.
I ran my hands through his long blond hair. It was soft, like silk through my fingers. He reached over to bite down on my neck. I sucked in a breath. That felt so good. He lifted his head. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
He nodded like he’d needed to hear that, to have it confirmed before he came over me on the bed. I ran my hand over his chiseled abs, and his body jolted where I touched him. Ari breathed hard. “My love, I am really on edge.”
“Good. I love you on edge. I love you however you are. All the parts of you, Ari.”
This seemed to set him off. His mouth took possession of mine as his body pressed mine down onto the bed. I let him take control, but I wasn’t the same woman I’d been when he first showed me pleasure. No, now I knew how to give to him as good as I got. When he touched me, I did the same for him.
Sometimes I took the lead, running my hand down the length of his cock, cupping him on the top to feel how wet he got under my ministration. He pushed a finger inside of me, then two. It took him little time to find my spot but soon I writhed against his hand. It was so much… it was… wow. But, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t going to come that way, not then. This wasn’t what I’d dreamed about all the months apart.
Ari seemed to understand. We separated, but only long enough for him to move back enough to press inside of me. He cried out, something between a moan and a sigh. “Better than I imagined it.”
I knew what he meant. Nothing I’d envisioned alone at night could do it justice. I didn’t know the sounds he would make as he filled me or the way we would fit together—like we’d always been meant to be. I didn’t know how strong he was or how he’d place his hand on my forehead when he found release, holding my head as though he would join us in every way imaginable if he could.
It took me no time to find release. My body had waited for Ari. I’d needed this to be complete. I needed him. He cried out my name like a prayer before he kissed me so gently it brought tears to my eyes.
We lay there together in the dark, not speaking. He caressed me with his hands; I kissed him where I could reach. We didn’t need to speak. There was just this.
“Sweetheart,” he whispered in my ears. “If life had been kind, I’d have met you years ago. We’d have found a way on Sandler to be together.”
I shook my head. The sentiment was sweet but not realistic. “Let’s say in some imaginary world that happened. What would we have done? You’d have had to go work for my father, and I’d be home worrying you were dead in the war. Or worse, you would be dead. I like how it did work. Except for you having to go through what you did.”
“I’d do it all again to be with you. Every miserable moment leading to you was worth it.”
He was so sweet, but what was more amazing was that he meant it. Ari never doubted, he just believed. “Waverly, I hate to ask this, but are there devilish looking flying creatures in the room?”
I shook my head. I hated how he saw things that weren’t there, and how it haunted him— that he hesitated to ask out of fear he’d be judged for hallucinating when all it meant was he’d survived what few did. “No, my love.”
He gathered me closer to him, his body slightly pressing into mine as though he would block me from anything coming my way. I snuggled against him, and when his body loosened in sleep, I let myself do the same.
Sometime during the night, the bed dipped, Jackson crawling under the covers to join me on the other side. I sighed. Yes, this was what I needed. Ari shifted in sleep but only enough to move over for Jackson to have room. I didn’t know if he was really awake. I wasn’t, not really. I slipped into a dreamless place where Canyon wasn’t going to have to battle for his life and there wasn’t the very real possibility I’d said goodbye to him the day before on a virtual beach.
There were only my guys, their safety, and how I loved them so much I knew I’d never do without them again. Dreams were beautiful that way.
5 Eventualities
I woke up all at once, aware that both Jackson and Ari were wide-awake. Neither of them was speaking, but the way they breathed told me they were plenty alert. Ari stared at the ceiling and Jackson toward the center of the room. There were days like this one. When things were going to be wonderful or they were going to be awful and there wasn’t a thing I could do at that moment to affect the result.
Patients died. I’d seen it too often. Was Canyon going to be a life I mourned forever? Was I going to live with the haunting reality that there was nothing I could do to save my love? Or worse that there might be something I could have done that I screwed up?
“Canyon used to tell me he could see colors when he came back from the time travel. Should I have mentioned that? If I had told you that, Ari, would you have known there was a problem? Or how he used to communicate with the machines. Not talk to them but know what they could do like he understood them in his mind?”
Ari shifted slightly and so did Jackson. The doctor shook his head. “No. It wouldn’t have triggered anything for me. Maybe if I had more experience with Super Soldiers, but as far as I can tell from what Ro says, there are two sadistic bastards who took care of them. Most of the rest were equally as bad—experimenting on them. Maybe some of them would have known. Otherwise, what they can and can’t do is so foreign to me. I don’t know what their indicators or symptoms are.”
Jackson kissed my shoulder. “This isn’t on you. It’s on us. We were here with him. We should have done better. We retreated to our own corners, communicating minimally and just getting through the days. Ari cued in first. I should have jumped on board right away, but I just thought it was Canyon being Canyon.”
“Rohan blames himself, too.” I sat all the way up. I was stiff but rested. “Maybe we should be blaming me and however I got myself slammed across the galaxy. If I hadn’t done that, none of you would be in this situation.”
“No,” they answered together. The door to the room opened, and Rohan stepped into it.
He leaned over Ari to kiss me lightly. “Good morning. Are we doing this thing or are we obsessing over it? Because I could go either way.”
Ari pushed him out of the way, which only worked because Rohan moved by choice. “We’re doing it. I’m not letting another day pass without fixing him. Canyon gets better today.”
At least he wasn’t suffering my self-doubt. Ari might have had qualms yesterday about being the best person for this job, but as of today he sounded sure and seemed to have recovered his confidence. He stretched his arms over his head. “Let’s do this thing.”
We ate in silence, all of us lost in our thoughts before I followed Ari to the med bay. Rohan touched my arm. “He came and got me, Canyon. I’d still be where I was or I’d be dead if he hadn’t come and told me there was a better life waiting for me. I know he knew that because of Sterling, but still. Out of everyone in the universe, he came and got me. Seems really unfair that he’s suffering and I’m getting to gaze on you.”
I leaned into him. “Ro, I don’t think he’s suffering. He did
n’t know at all what was going on. You all found me, and I thought that impossible. We’re going to fix him. Keep the ship steady for us, would you?”
“I have the easiest job of the day.” He leaned over to kiss me. “See you later.”
Canyon was already in the med bay, which gave me pause. I turned to Jackson. “Was he just sitting there?”
Ari stared at a computer screen, and Jackson nodded toward him. “He sure was. Look.”
On the screen, a picture of an eye was drawn, and on it a replica of what I had to assume was Canyon’s eye alterations. It was a 3-D model. A realization dawned on me… “Did Canyon put that on the screen?”
Jackson nodded. “Looks like now he knows what’s going on, and he’s helping.” He walked over and patted him on the arm. “Thanks, man.”
Ari turned away from the machine and walked to the hand sanitizer to wash his hands. “Okay. Last time I put him under he fought back against the machine. If that is the case, Waverly, your job is to immediately knock him out the good old-fashioned way. Medicine into the IV that I’m going to need you to get into his hand.”
I nodded. As soon as I sanitized my hands I would do just that. Ari stepped away from the machine, and I went through my routine. It had been almost a year since I’d used these skills. Ari continued to give Jackson his instructions but I’d gone into medical mode. I counted the instruments and went through the process in my head.
I was good at this. But it had been a year, almost. I didn’t want to be rusty.
I didn’t even know how long it had been since I’d run a line. Maybe school? But, still, I was sure I could do it. Old-fashioned or not there was a reason we learned how to do this.
“Waverly?” Ari wanted an update.
“Ready, Doctor.” He didn’t flinch at the use of his title and neither did I. In some circumstances that was what we were. Opening up Canyon’s brain was one of those times.
Jackson stepped back. “I’m going to wait back here unless you need me.”
Was he squeamish? This was a lot even if he wasn’t. It was a rare and unusual thing this day and age to crack open a patient’s head. The machines did all of this for us. In some ways, this was going to be a hybrid operation. As I stared at Ari’s serious face, I wondered if he even knew how much.
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