“Third floor. Upstairs,” said Eleanor helpfully.
Muse rolled her eyes and told Eleanor to wait until she returned.
“And no more alcohol!” she added sternly.
“Ella?”
“Yes, Danny?”
“I really love your cat, she’s awe-shome.”
“She does rather grow on you,” said Eleanor, stifling a yawn. “Bloody hell, I can’t fall asleep now! Quick, get me another glass of whatever you can get your hands on before Muse gets back.”
Danny saluted sharply, and promptly fell on the floor.
“Or maybe not,” said Jake, grinning stupidly. “Bloody hell, Ella, give me a hand, will you? He’s showing everyone his bits!”
“Crikey!” said Eleanor. “I thought you were joking about the whole naked-under-the-kilt thing. Blimey, Jake, you’re a lucky boy, aren’t you?”
Muse returned just as Jake and Eleanor, amidst many giggles, were returning a semi-conscious Danny to his chair.
“I can’t leave you alone for five minutes,” tutted the cat. “Now then, come on Ella, dear, I have his address. If you’re still determined to see him, let’s go get this prince of yours.”
“I’m ready,” said Eleanor, patting herself down. “Hang on a sec. Jake? How do I look?”
Jake blinked at her and considered the rumpled dress, complete with red wine stains down the front and ketchup on the sleeves. He slowly raised his slightly unfocused eyes to her hair, which had fallen free of the elegant topknot of earlier that day, and was back to its usual frizz, and fragranced, no doubt, by eau de hamburger. He smiled.
“You look like my Ella,” he said gently. “Go get ’im, sweetie.”
“Thanks, Jake, you’re the best,” said Eleanor, stopping to bestow a watery kiss on her friend’s cheek.
“Come on then,” said Muse impatiently. “I want to get home at some point this evening, it’s been a very long day.”
“No kidding,” said Eleanor. “Right, I’m definitely ready now. Let’s go.”
Chapter Thirteen
Eleanor had to hide Muse beneath her dress in order to flag a taxi, but she managed it. Just. The journey to Max’s rented home took a little under ten minutes, and each minute was torture for Eleanor. Not only was she worried about the confrontation that she was heading for, but she had a cat hiding under her dress who, if found, would cost Eleanor a hefty fine that she just didn’t have, and a stomach that was churning so much she was in danger of landing a different kind of fine altogether.
Thankfully, they arrived without any mishap. Eleanor opened the door and carefully moved her leg in order for Muse to slip out unnoticed, and handed the driver the last of her money to pay for the fare.
Max lived in one of the posh new houses just past Culverhouse Cross. Cardiff Mode was currently paying his rent as well as his wages, according to Muse.
“Crikey, that must cost them a fortune,” said Eleanor quietly, looking at the cul-de-sac of mansion-like houses surrounding them. “Which one is it, Muse?”
“Number fourteen,” replied the cat.
“Okay,” said Eleanor, swallowing nervously. She smoothed her dress a little and patted at her hair, picking out some of her lunch and flicking it away in disgust. She checked the road, then started to cross to the other side of the street, Muse padding alongside her. Max’s house was in darkness except for a tiny light shining from an upstairs window. Eleanor took a deep breath and rang the doorbell, adding two quick raps on the door for good measure.
She waited for perhaps ten minutes before finally admitting that he either wasn’t there, or he was ignoring her.
“Looks like we’re walking home, Muse,” said Eleanor, doing her best not to bawl her eyes out as she picked up the cat.
“Maybe he’s not home,” suggested Muse, burrowing into her neck. “Or maybe he’s sleeping. It is late.”
“No,” said Eleanor. “Don’t try to be nice, Muse. He probably heard the taxi and as soon as he knew it was me, decided not to answer the door. I mean, can you blame him? I majorly messed up tonight, didn’t I? He thinks I got married in a twisted three-way ceremony. He probably thinks I’m a complete tart, especially after I practically threw myself at him the other day. Not to mention the flashing thing. God, that man’s seen my bottom so many times!”
“Calm yourself, Ella. I know you think he’s the man for you, and up until a few hours ago, so did I, but to be completely honest, I’m not so sure any more. I didn’t like the way he spoke to you earlier. I think we should look for another prince.”
Eleanor walked a few steps and sat down on the curbside, placing Muse in her lap and smoothing the cat’s fur absently. It was a good hour’s walk back into town, and another twenty minutes further to Eleanor’s house. Her phone’s battery was dead, she had about fifty pence in her purse, and her foot was sore. She took off her shoe and examined her foot, noting the specks of blood that were dotted on the bandage.
“This has to be the worst night of my life,” she said morosely.
Just then, two things happened. The sky gave an almighty crack of thunder, and great big drops of rain started coming down. And if that wasn’t bad enough, a light from a downstairs window of Max’s house suddenly came on. Eleanor peered over her shoulder and saw something which shook her from her stupor.
“The rat! The stinking, low-down, shagging rat!” she cried, jumping to her feet.
Muse landed on the floor and looked back at the house, confused by Eleanor’s rage. She blinked, shook her head, and blinked again.
“Is that a woman with him?” she asked faintly.
“Too bloody right, it is,” said Eleanor angrily.
Max was clearly visible through the window, and he was currently sitting head to head with a leggy blonde, stroking her back idly.
“I can’t believe the cheek of him! That’s it! I give up! Take that, you shagging bastard!”
Eleanor’s shoe hit the window with a thud, causing Max and the blonde to jump. A few seconds later, the front door opened.
“Eleanor! What the hell are you doing here?”
“Rat! You stinking, dirty, frigging rat! I came to apologize! I came to put things right! And you’ve got another frigging woman with you! RAT!”
Eleanor removed her other shoe and threw it at Max, hitting him in the chest just as the last “rat” escaped her lips. She scooped up Muse and walked away, ignoring the pain in her foot as she stepped on tiny bits of grit.
“I can’t believe him!” muttered Eleanor angrily. “I can’t believe me! God, what was I thinking? I hardly know the man! ARGH!”
A flash of lightening followed by a particularly loud clap of thunder made Eleanor drop Muse to the floor.
“And I bloody hate thunder!” she wailed, giving in to the tears that had been threatening to fall for the last five minutes.
“Eleanor?”
Eleanor turned around and glared at Max, who had caught up with her and was holding her shoes up in the air.
Eleanor snatched her shoes and dropped down to the floor, shoving her feet into them roughly.
“I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but that was my sister.”
“Yeah, of course it was,” said Eleanor scornfully, knotting her shoes viciously.
Max crouched down and grabbed her hands, pulling her to her feet.
“It really is my sister,” he said. “Though why I’m telling you that is beyond me.”
Eleanor brushed her sodden hair from her eyes and hiccupped, not sure whether she believed him or not. Muse was threading in and out of Max’s legs and grinning at Eleanor. Well, she had her mouth open and was showing her teeth, which Eleanor assumed was the cat version of a grin, at any rate.
“I’m not married,” said Eleanor suddenly. “Either to my two best f
riends, or my father.”
“Your father?” said Max faintly.
“Yeah, that was my dad earlier.”
“Oh.”
“It’s a long story,” she sighed, seeing the look of confusion on Max’s face. “It started yesterday morning with me visiting my dad, and ended up with me wearing a wedding dress as I tried to stop a wedding in Gretna Green.”
“Okay,” said Max slowly. “So you’re definitely not married? And those guys earlier aren’t part of your harem?”
“No, they’re not!” said Eleanor in a rush. “I mean, it was just a misunderstanding! It really was! And I know I must look strange, what with the wedding dress, and the hamburger hair, and everything, but it’s been such a strange day! And I’m sorry for standing you up last night. It wasn’t my fault, I swear. I really wanted to spend the night with you, but I ended up spending it sleeping next to a jar of smelly gherkins instead! And — ”
“Eleanor?” said Max, cutting her off mid-ramble.
“Yes?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I think it means that I got it wrong.”
“Yes! Yes, you did!”
Max leaned forward and brushed her hair from her eyes. Eleanor felt a little bit of hope in the pit of her stomach and blinked up at him. Max’s lips twitched, and a chuckle burst forth soon after.
“You’re going to drive me crazy, you know that?” he said gently.
“I certainly hope so,” muttered Eleanor, grabbing Max’s head and pulling him down for a kiss before he could change his mind.
“Hallelujah! We finally got our fairy tale moment!” cried Muse.
Max jumped back and looked around in confusion.
“Don’t just stand there,” said Muse, running around their feet excitedly. “Kiss her again, you idiot!”
“Fuck me,” said Max faintly. “Did that cat just talk?”
Eleanor giggled.
“That settles it,” said Muse, rolling her eyes. “His language is terrible. You’re obviously made for each other.”
• • •
A few months later …
Eleanor looked at the table with satisfaction. The settings looked beautiful, the turkey was browning nicely, and Max was pouring the wine. She checked her watch, a Christmas gift from her husband, and smiled.
“We have about ten minutes before everyone arrives,” said Eleanor, accepting a glass of wine gratefully.
“Happy Christmas, Ellie.”
“Happy Christmas,” she replied happily, kissing Max over her glass.
Two months of marriage had passed by in the blink of an eye, with Eleanor still slightly bemused at the change in her circumstances. She was now modeling a lingerie range exclusively for Cardiff Mode. Naughty but Nice, designed by Eleanor herself, was a range of underwear made specifically for women with a larger bust, and was proving to be a hit. Teddy, having gotten over the initial shock of seeing his daughter virtually naked in the national papers every weekend, was extremely proud of her.
Jake was on cloud nine too; after the misunderstanding over the Gretna Green incident, Max had been quick to reassure Eleanor’s friend that he was in no danger of losing his job, and Jake was currently riding high on the success of photographing Eleanor’s popular lingerie range. Even Christie was no longer a problem, having found herself a willing victim to marry in Gretna Green after all, a local man with pots of money and very little sense.
Life was as close to perfection as it could possibly be. The one thing that marred the picture of complete happiness was Muse, who hadn’t uttered more than a “meow” since Eleanor’s wedding. Apparently, the powers of a Fairy Godmother/talking cat were only available when there was a lady in need of help, or so Muse had explained shortly before she was reduced to more feline sounds. The cat was still as loving as ever, and often had a fit of hissing whenever she heard someone cursing, but the days of having conversations with a cat that actually talked back were gone.
Eleanor savored her wine and fussed around the table, tweaking the napkins and flower arrangements. There were eight place settings, a perfect number for Christmas lunch as far as Eleanor was concerned. The doorbell rung and she squealed excitedly.
“They’re here!”
Max grinned indulgently and smacked her bottom playfully, before grabbing her hand and walking to the front door. They were both greeted with kisses to both cheeks from Jenni and Heather, swiftly followed by slaps on the back from Jake and Danny. Eleanor took their coats and ushered them into the house, closing the door against the cold.
More wine was poured, and the turkey was basted for the last time. Jenni and Heather admired Eleanor’s watch enthusiastically, and exclaimed over the bracelet that adorned Eleanor’s other wrist.
“Ooh, you were spoiled,” said Jenni.
Further conversation was halted by the arrival of Teddy, who came bearing a large bag of gifts and a huge Christmas pudding, courtesy of old Mrs. Halloway. Kisses were exchanged and drinks were toasted, then finally the last guest arrived.
• • •
Rebecca Ross (formerly-and-soon-to-be-again Charming) was led into the kitchen by her brother, and she greeted Eleanor warmly. Rebecca was currently in the middle of a messy divorce, her soon to be ex-husband a rat of the highest order. Rebecca had fled to Max’s house on the day of Gerry’s retirement party, after having caught her husband in bed with another woman; two other women, actually. His sister’s messy marriage had been the major cause of Max’s terrible mood that night, and had made him think the worst when he saw Eleanor decked out in full wedding regalia.
Thankfully, despite her own problems, Rebecca had kept out of the way when Max had carried Eleanor back into his house that night. She’d even made herself scarce while Max and Eleanor had indulged themselves in the manner of all young couples eager to cement their relationship.
Eleanor smiled fondly at the memory, remembering how thankful she was to be naked by choice for the first time ever in Max’s presence. She winked at her husband as she greeted Rebecca, smiling widely at her sister-in-law.
“I’m so glad you could make it,” she said warmly.
“Turkey’s ready!” said Danny, who had taken over the kitchen, complete with his naughty apron adorning his toned body.
“Excellent! Dig in, people!”
• • •
Lunch had been a resounding success, and now Eleanor was cuddled up to Max on one of her sofas and stroking Muse, who was curled up contentedly in her lap. Teddy, slumped in the armchair with a paper hat covering his closed eyes, was snoring softly, while Jake and Danny were playing poker with Rebecca in front of the fire.
“That was fab,” said Jenni, patting her stomach happily. “Christmas day is the one time I allow myself to really pig out and not worry about it afterwards.”
“Me too,” said Heather, sipping her fourth glass of wine. “Thanks for inviting us, Ella, it’s been wonderful.”
“You’re entirely welcome,” said Eleanor. “You guys are my friends, so Christmas wouldn’t have been Christmas without you; right, Max?”
“Right,” he agreed.
“Anyone ready for nibbles?” asked Danny, who had just lost his fifth hand of poker.
“Go for it,” said Max.
“No gherkins!” said Jake, earning himself a smack on the head.
“Ha bloody ha.”
Muse sent a half-hearted hiss in Danny’s direction, causing a few snorts to escape from Max and Eleanor, and making Danny hold his hands up playfully.
“Grab another bottle of wine, Dan,” said Jake, shuffling the cards for the next hand.
Max moved his hand playfully up Eleanor’s back and started nuzzling her neck, causing Eleanor to almost choke on her wine. She leaned back a little more to allow him better access to her
neck, and bit back a naughty smile as she “accidentally” wriggled her bottom against her husband’s upper leg region. She was rewarded with a nip just behind her ear and she shivered with delight.
“What time are they going?” whispered Max.
“Shut up,” she whispered back, stifling a giggle.
Teddy woke with a jump and sat up sharply, losing his hat in the process. He hiccupped loudly and coughed to cover his embarrassment.
“That was some lunch, Ellie love, best I’ve had since your mother was with us.”
Eleanor removed herself from Max’s arms and scooted the cat from her lap. She gave her father an extra big hug and sat on his lap, just like she used to do as a child.
“Make sure you thank Mrs. H for the pudding,” she said. “That was really nice of her, especially in the circumstances. I wish she’d changed her mind and come to us for Christmas.”
Mrs. Halloway’s husband had died a few weeks previously, quite suddenly, but her father’s neighbor seemed to be coping rather well with it.
“I’ve invited her for drinks at New Year,” said Teddy. “She didn’t want to stay with her daughter for a full week, so she’ll be back in a few days. Lovely woman, Marge Halloway, it would be a shame for her to be alone at New Year.”
Eleanor was suddenly struck by the flush in her father’s cheeks, which wasn’t wholly to due to his recent nap judging by the twinkle in his eyes. Mrs. Halloway was only a handful of years older than Teddy, and her father was still a handsome man. Eleanor smiled inwardly and mentally crossed her fingers.
“Here we are!” said Danny, coming into the room with a tray full of crackers, cheese, pickles, and off-cuts of turkey. He placed the tray on the table and pulled out the bottle of wine that was anchored under his arm.
“I really shouldn’t, but I will,” said Jenni, winking at Heather.
“Brandon will have a fit if you can’t fit into that swimming costume next week,” warned Heather.
“Stuff Brandon,” replied Jenni, as she placed a cracker into her mouth.
“Who’s Brandon?” asked Eleanor curiously.
If the Shoe Fits Page 17