At times he still thought of the whole Scimitar episode as being the stuff of dreams. He was never quite sure what belonged to his dreams and what was reality. It would have been a lot easier if he’d received something tangible from Scimitar, something like an email or a text, but there was nothing. Just the conviction in his head. Had it really happened?
He tried to have a serious conversation with Jed about reality and the difference between dreams and what has actually happened.
‘How do you know which is which?’ he asked him.
Jed looked at him as if he was a lunatic.
‘Dreams,’ Jed said, ‘are what you want to happen, nightmares are what you don’t want to happen and real life is the shit you actually get stuck with.’
The conversation ended there. Jed was too down to earth, Daniel decided, to make it worth pursuing any further. Perhaps he could talk to Sophie about it. On the other hand, she might think he was mad and never talk to him again. Life was difficult enough without the complications of extraterrestrial influences.
Chapter 17
Daniel was beginning to think about Sophie differently but he couldn’t decide whether it was because of what Scimitar had said, or at least what he imagined Scimitar had said, or whether it was just how things were turning out. That brief moment in time when they had chatted together over a lunch break could have been a chance meeting but Daniel’s state of mind was turning it into something more. He was convinced that if Sophie had not already been in his thoughts then they would probably not have talked at all or it would have been nothing more than a passing conversation. But they had met, and talked, and he was convinced that it was more than just a casual chat.
It had not occurred to him that Sophie might have been waiting to talk to him or that she might have played a part in their meeting; he was still totally absorbed in looking at their growing friendship from his point of view and he had yet to learn that such relationships encompass at least two different points of view.
Some friendships grow slowly, building on common interests and shared scraps of information until they finally have a durable foundation, while others seem to have arisen from a lucky break, from a fortuitous moment in time when two like-minded people suddenly chanced upon each other. The friendship that was growing between Sophie and Daniel was not quite like either of these and the problem lay with Scimitar.
It was taking Daniel a long time to make up his mind about Scimitar. His first instinct had been to doubt his own sanity. After all, with his computer disconnected from the internet, how could he have had a conversation with anyone, let alone a complete stranger? Furthermore, how could a stranger know so much about him? It wasn’t possible, he rationalised, telling himself that it was simply the lingering memory of a particularly vivid dream. It was merely a coincidence that he happened to speak to Sophie the next day; it couldn’t have been foreseen by this invisible being who had suddenly appeared on his computer.
The more he thought about it, the more he came to believe that it was simply a practical joke that his mind was playing on him and he felt foolish for taking it so seriously. Talk about being stupid, he thought; he was relieved that he’d told no one about it. How foolish would he be feeling now if he’d gone and blabbed about it to Jed? He’d be the laughing stock of his class and Sophie would never speak to him again.
The whole episode would have ended there if he hadn’t become aware of Scimitar again. He couldn’t put it into words but he felt that Scimitar was talking to him, talking inside his head. All his former doubts about his sanity returned and he began to worry lest he was going mad or, at the very least, that he was suffering from some kind of mental delusion or breakdown. He held out against his instincts for as long as he could but it was only a matter of time before he gave in. The only way to prove that this was a trick of his mind was to go back to his computer and to try to contact Scimitar. Then, when nothing happened, he could put it all behind him and stop being so silly.
He checked that his computer was offline. There was no way this could work and, to prove it to himself he went into his browser and typed in an address. An error message appeared instantly, informing him that his computer was offline and inviting him to try again when he had a connection.
He smiled with grim satisfaction and typed in ‘HELLO D2S’ and pressed the
‘HELLO! Scimitar to Daniel’ it read.
The room spun and for a moment Daniel felt as if he was going to pass out. His hands were moist and shaking too much for him to type and he sat stupefied, looking at the monitor. He blinked several times in quick succession hoping that he was imagining the writing on the screen. A wave of relief swamped over him as the writing faded. It was just his imagination after all. If only he’d had the courage to do this earlier he wouldn’t have gone through all those moments of doubt and anxiety.
Life is seldom simple and he stared in horror as a new message began to appear on the screen.
‘I told you that Sophie liked you,’ it read. ‘You need to learn to trust me.’
‘How can I trust you when I don’t know who you are?’ Daniel typed.
‘Don’t worry about what you can’t understand, concentrate on what you can do.’
‘I still don’t understand.’
‘You worry too much. I’ve already told you, you are a very special person, destined for great things; we can work together.’
‘Does that mean that whatever I do I’ll succeed?’
‘By no means. Not all destinies are fulfilled. It’s up to you to make your future happen.’
‘Last time you said you needed my help — what do you want?’
‘You have already done much for me, for us. We needed to know more about how humans think and knowing you has been helpful.’
‘That sounds sinister! Tell me, can I hear you in my mind or can I only speak to you on my computer?’
‘You really are special! I wondered if you could hear me. We can communicate but it’s not easy. I can feel your thinking and I can respond but it depends on your state of mind. I can’t turn you into some sort of super being but if I understand your problem I can send you advice.’
‘You’re freaking me out. I don’t know if I’m imagining all this or if it’s real. What do I do now?’
‘You live your life as you always intended. I will be here if you need my help but you have to live your own life, make your own decisions, achieve your own successes and live with your own failures, but I can tell you that you and Sophie will be together for a long time.’
‘Does she know this?’
‘No. That’s for you to achieve but don’t tell her about me, not yet. The time isn’t right. Now go, live your life and remember that I can help you if you ask.’
The trouble was that Daniel was asleep. At least, he assumed he had been asleep because he woke up with a start. He had no recollection of going and lying on his bed. His computer had gone to sleep but he noticed that the wi-fi light was off.
His first reaction was to curse his stupidity. This was a game he was playing with himself and he hadn’t resolved anything. He still didn’t know if Scimitar was real or imaginary, but the longer he thought about this latest episode the more convinced he became that it was real; real in some way that he didn’t fully understand and which he couldn’t explain.
What should he do? He had the chance to meet Sophie tomorrow; perhaps that would be the best thing for him to worry about. What should he wear and what would they talk about? Where should they go? If he and Sophie were going to be together, did it even matter?
The following day he dressed in what he
thought of as smart but casual, and set off to meet her, wondering if she would be there. He felt a surge of relief when he saw that she was waiting for him and noted that she was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, smart but casual, just like he was. She greeted him with a broad smile and he thought that she looked relieved. Perhaps she had been wondering if he would come. They chatted for a while and then decided to go for a walk, setting off round the village.
At home that evening, Daniel was amazed at how much they had found to talk about. It seemed to him that he knew everything about Sophie and had discovered that she lived alone with her father because her mother had died when she was very young. In his turn he had talked about himself and had shared his hopes and ambitions with her.
Daniel felt a strong attraction to Sophie, his first real desire to be with a girl, and it scared him that he felt this so strongly. Sex wasn’t something that had troubled him before but now it was coming into the equation and he was worried about what it would do to their friendship.
He was tempted to go back to his computer to ask Scimitar what he should do but that would be admitting that Scimitar really existed. Why was life so difficult? And to make things even more complicated it seemed as if he could already hear Scimitar saying ‘It’s up to you!’ How could he separate the voices in his head and work out what he was imagining and what was real?
His evening was a painful mix of fantasy and dread, his desire for Sophie warred with his reluctance to compromise their relationship with what he imagined was his lust for her. Through all this angst ran the notion that these were just adolescent growing pains and that he had reached the stage in his life where he had to learn to deal with this. His brain told him that biology was driving him on but his instinct told him that this was different. Could this be love?
When daylight finally crept into his room it found Daniel sleeping peacefully. It paid no attention to his dreams. Daniel awoke refreshed and ready for another day.
Back in school on Monday morning Daniel felt as if he was on fire. Would Sophie notice him? Would she talk to him? Did she feel the same about him as he felt about her? How was he going to find out? Problems and questions tumbled over in his head as he walked down the school drive anxiously looking round to see if he could see her. She was nowhere in sight and his anxiety grew. He was pressed for time and went straight to his form room for registration.
‘I thought you weren’t coming,’ Sophie greeted him as he came into the room.
Her slightly worried look went a long way to calming down Daniel’s troubled state of mind. At least she noticed, he thought, and she even seemed worried. Perhaps things will work out.
Chapter 18
Sophie heard her father quietly close the front door as he left for work. The last couple of months had been hectic but now that her exams were over she was beginning to relax. The day was already warm and she eased the duvet aside, enjoying the cool air drifting in through the window. She stayed on the bed for a while longer but now that she was awake it seemed a waste of a good day and so she got up, straightened her pyjamas, grabbed her dressing gown and went downstairs.
Her father always left the table ready for her breakfast; a glass for fruit juice, a bowl for cereal and a mug for her tea. She didn’t feel like eating cereal today so she put the bowl away and took out bread for the toaster. When the bread popped up she loaded everything on to a tray and took her breakfast out into the back garden. Her father had built a deck in the sunny corner where the garage joined the house and, sheltered from the wind, it was a sun trap. Sitting at the table she looked down the garden, over the fence and on over open fields to the distant trees. Apart from the early morning birdsong there was not a sound.
She loved the countryside and listened attentively, trying to pick out the different calls of the birds. How busy the birds were and how lazy she felt. Her mind drifted towards Daniel. They had been going out for over a year now and she felt comfortable with him. He had the reputation of being a little strange; not exactly a geek but different from the rest of the boys in her class … that were in her class, she corrected herself, because they had left that part of their school life behind them now. When they went back in September they would be in the Sixth Form.
How was their relationship going to develop? Sometimes Daniel seemed very distant and yet at other times he was intense. They kissed, of course, and they had groped around a bit but Daniel hadn’t moved on to the next stage and Sophie was beginning to worry lest there was something wrong with her. It was at times like this that she missed her mother. She imagined that they would talk about boys and things like sex but it was only a dream and she knew from the other girls in her class that you didn’t discuss things like that, at least not with your parents.
Sophie knew that she was different; not just because she had no mother and spent a lot of her time on her own but also because she had evolved her own lifestyle. She read voraciously, anything that came to hand; sometimes novels or biographies and sometimes text books, particularly history books. That appalled her friends who were obsessed with boys and going out, but she preferred to stay at home, lying in the sun with a good book in the summer and tucked up by the fire in the winter. Because she had no mother she did much of the housework, keeping the house clean and cooking for her father in the evenings.
What kind of life will I lead, she wondered as she took off her dressing gown and spread it on the sun lounger. She wanted to go to university to read history but after that she had no career ideas beyond that she wanted Daniel to be part of her life. She stretched out in the sun and found her place in her book.
She glanced at her watch; there was time to spare. She was going to go round to Daniel’s house towards lunch time. Neither of them had anything important to do and so they’d agreed to have some lunch at his house and then spend the afternoon together.
Her mind was only half on the book. What’s got into me today, she asked herself? Daniel kept drifting into her consciousness; it was as if he was inside her head. She gave up any pretence of trying to read and turned on to her back. The sun dazzled her eyes and she put her arm up to break its rays. Perhaps she should take the lead, let him know how she felt, what she really wanted. The idea was preposterous. In any case, she didn’t know what she wanted. Dreaming about sex with Daniel was one thing but doing it for real was something else. Did she want to go that far? They had dealt with the whole business of sex at school but she still found it hard to contemplate.
Perhaps it was the warmth of the sun or perhaps it was thinking about Daniel that led Sophie to doze, dreaming about a life with Daniel. Why was she so certain that he was the one for her? She hadn’t gone out with anyone else, she had no one to compare him with, no points of reference, and yet it seemed as if they were a perfect match. She rolled on to her front and picked up her book, trying to make an effort to get back into the story.
She had scarcely read a page when she heard the distant ring of the front door bell. She glanced at her watch, wondering who it could be. It was probably the postman, she decided. She slipped her dressing gown over her pyjamas and went through to the front room. Looking through the window she saw it wasn’t the postman, it was Daniel. She felt a surge of warm happiness as she went though the hall to open the front door.
‘I wasn’t expecting you,’ she said.
‘Clearly not,’ Daniel replied, ‘unless you were waiting for me in your pyjamas!’
Sophie blushed.
‘I was just taking things easy,’ she said. ‘I got up a bit late and took my breakfast outside. It was nice in the sun and I started to read and, well, that’s as far as I’ve got. Come on out.’
‘I didn’t think you were a lying-in-the-sun sort of person.’
‘I’m not but it’s different at home. It’s quiet here and it’s not overlooked. I like reading in the fresh air and the sun.’
They went through to the back of the house to the sun trap where she had been reading. Daniel pulled out a chair at the tab
le and sat down. Sophie’s breakfast things were still there and he felt as if he was intruding into her privacy.
‘I’ll go if you’re busy. I didn’t mean to disturb you.’
‘You’re not.’ She came and stood behind him. ‘I was thinking about you, anyway.’
‘Not bad things, I hope.’
‘No, only the very best.’
Sophie felt that tell-tale blush starting to warm her cheeks and she looked away. She felt as if something was driving her on and she needed to fill the silence.
‘I was dreaming what our life might be like if we were together,’ she said, feeling greatly daring.
The blush was firmly settled on her cheeks and she felt light-headed. It’s too late now, I’ve said it, she thought. It’s just as well I’m standing behind him, at least he can’t see my face.
‘It will be fantastic,’ Daniel said.
That was not the response Sophie had expected.
‘You sound very certain.’
‘I am,’ Daniel said. ‘We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.’
‘That’s a bit presumptuous. You haven’t asked me yet.’
‘I don’t have to. It’s written in the stars.’
Sophie looked down at him, Daniel didn’t say things like that. She couldn’t decide if he was teasing her or being romantic.
‘Don’t be so corny,’ she said.
‘I’m not,’ he replied. ‘If only you knew. If only I could explain everything to you.’
‘Try,’ Sophie said, playing for time.
‘Well, I’ve always liked you. From the very first time I saw you when you came to junior school. There was something different about you. All those years ago I was too scared to talk to you in case you thought I was an idiot. It didn’t get easier and I dreaded having to speak to you because I didn’t want to shatter my dream. Then … well, I suppose fate played a hand in my life and we began to talk to each other. It was okay after I’d taken the plunge. You didn’t laugh at me and you were quite nice.’
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