by Cooke, Chele
Halden’s suspicion faltered as he let the hide hang by his side. He frowned, keeping his gaze on his feet.
“That’s bad. Is he doing okay?”
Georgianna shrugged. Si had improved since his return, but Jaid had been right, he wasn’t the same man who came to check if she wanted dinner. The glimmer in his eyes had faded and the transformation was taking its toll on Jaid too. She was more serious, less likely to share a joke. Her husband had gone, and in some ways, had taken a part of her with it.
“It’ll get better,” Halden said. “Everything else is good though?”
She probably shouldn’t, not before the escape when so much could still go wrong, but Halden had been friends with Alec, the two had grown up together. Landon was a younger brother to Halden almost as much as Alec. She felt it was wrong to keep that news from him.
“Halden… I found out that, uh…”
“Out with it Gianna,” he chastised. “I promise it won’t be nearly as awkward as telling me you’d had sex.”
Georgianna grimaced, but was grateful for the intervention. He was right, there was no reason this should be awkward. She had told Halden far worse things. As he’d rightly pointed out, telling him that she had lost her virginity had been far more daunting a conversation.
“You know how I told you… I said about Nyah?”
Nodding, he gazed at her suspiciously. She looked down at her feet, scuffing her toe into the dry grass.
“I took the note into the compound.”
Halden looked back at her, silent. Georgianna wondered, if like Keiran, he had expected it of her all along.
“She had been sold, so I… I went to the house of the Adveni…”
“Oh, Gianna, what were you…”
“Landon was there.”
He frowned, but didn’t reply, his accusation dead in the air. Well, it was pretty much as she had expected. She had not exactly been a gaggle of words at the news either.
“He’s a drysta.”
“You’re sure it was him? You saw him?”
She shook her head.
“Then Gianna, you can’t be…”
“I heard his name. There is no one else, Halden.”
He didn’t answer her. He rubbed his hand over the foal’s head and down its neck. Georgianna leaned forward, resting her chin on her knees.
“What were you even doing there?”
She watched the foal instead of her brother. She couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye as she lied.
“I was checking on Nyah, nothing more.”
“Taye made you?”
Halden’s voice was restrained, but she could hear the anger in his tone, the accusation. She shook her head.
“He wasn’t there.”
“Then who, Gianna? Who are you doing this for?”
“For myself, Halden. I want to make sure that she is safe.”
“She’s a drysta! She isn’t safe and you know it, so why go?” he demanded. “If you were caught…”
“I wasn’t.”
“That isn’t the point.”
Halden sighed. With his free hand, he reached up, scratching behind his ear, his gaze settled on something far more distant than his sister or the open doorway. Picking at a blade of grass from between her feet, Georgianna began pulling it into ever thinner strips.
“I don’t want to make you worry,” she said.
“You make me worry every time you step into those tunnels.”
She watched him as he pulled the hide from the foal. He tipped the hide, feeling the weight.
“You know why I do that.”
“Sometimes I wonder.”
“About?”
“Whether if it is more about that man you’re seeing than it is about the work. Wanting to be close to him.”
“What? No, I was there long before I met him.”
“I never said you didn’t begin it with the best intentions,” Halden assured her. “But you could do the same work out here.”
“I know, but…”
“You don’t need to associate with the Belsa, Gianna, you choose to,” he argued. “This new man, Keiran? He is more than a friend, isn’t he?”
Georgianna sat up straight again, stretching her legs out in front of her.
“No,” she answered, regretting it immediately. “I’m not sure.”
She didn’t know where the regret came from. It had lodged itself in her chest and refused to budge. Knowing that Landon was suffering had thrown her emotions into the air. She felt a responsibility to help the boy after she’d been so entangled with his brother. However, with it came guilt telling her that she shouldn’t feel so strongly about helping Landon while she was with Keiran. Had Alec been nothing more than a friend like she had always said he was, like she had always told herself he was, she wouldn’t have felt this way. She’d still not dared tell Keiran about her connection to the other Belsa, which only fuelled the guilt more.
The foal whinnied and skittered slightly on its bandy legs. Halden brought the hide back down, offering it to the young animal. It took it cautiously, gaining in confidence when it once again discovered the sustenance inside.
“You say you’re not sure if he’s a friend, but what if he ended it? Right now, said he couldn’t see you anymore because he’d found someone else.”
A spasm clenched in her stomach, and staring at the grass, Georgianna couldn’t answer him.
“Would you just move on to a new guy, or would you maybe be upset about it because you, oh, I don’t know… like him?”
Georgianna frowned and kept her gaze fixed as far from Halden as she could manage without turning away like a stubborn child. She wasn’t ready to make commitments, but Halden was right in some respects. She would be upset if Keiran suddenly cut all ties. What was worse, as she sat there, trying to think of something to say, she realised that it wasn’t the physical stuff that she would miss the most, it was everything else.
Alec had never been like that. While Liliah had once accused Keiran of using her for his own benefit, Georgianna knew that Alec had been far the worse offender. He had cared about her, she knew that, but her uses to him had outweighed the things he had given her. As she thought about it, even their arguments seemed more about his own loss than her safety. He had lost his wife to the Adveni, and no matter what Georgianna had done, he would never have let go of that.
“I should go,” Georgianna mumbled, getting to her feet.
Halden reached out and took her hand.
“Gianna,” he murmured. “Come on, don’t…”
“No, it’s… I need to look for a herber for Jake. He’s good and he can learn.”
Raising an eyebrow, Halden gazed at her. He shook his head. Georgianna wrapped her arms around him in a brief, tight hug.
“Honestly, we’re fine. I’m fine. I’ll… I’ll think about what you said.”
Think about it, she wouldn’t stop thinking about it.
“Well, come back after you’re done. I’ll keep my mouth shut,” he said, brushing her hair back behind her ear.
She nodded, giving him a small smile before she turned and went back into the house to collect her bag and set out to find someone who would willingly go down into the tunnels to train Jacob.
29 Keep Him Dead
“I should go, yep, definitely should go.”
Georgianna leapt up off the bed, the Way notes slipping from her knees and littering the floor. Jumping over them and colliding with one of the metal drawers she’d not completely closed, she yelped, pain shooting through her hip. Pushing the heel of her hand against her throbbing flesh, she reached for Si’s elbow, gently urging him to stay put.
“We talked about this, Si,” she breathed, another gasp as she eased her hand over the curve of her hip. “Jaid wants you to stay with me for a while.”
A damp lock of hair slapped across Si’s nose as he shook his head. Pulling his arm out of her grasp, he took a step away from her towards the open door of the tunnel
car. He wrinkled his nose and snorted, dislodging the hair.
“No, no, need to get going,” he insisted. “Counting on me, expecting me.”
He took another step and picked up one of the cantinas from the shelves along the wall, wrapping both hands around it and clutching it to his chest.
“Need to take water… long walk. Jaid… Jaid says long walks need water.”
Georgianna watched him cautiously, sidestepping until she could stand in front of the open door, a barrier to dissuade Si. He’d been much better once the pain of his wounds had subsided, but they’d been right about the damage the prolonged heat had done to his mind. Of the few times she had seen him, Jaid bringing him to the Way when she was on shift, he seemed agitated and confused, but thankfully, not often violent.
“Where do you need to go, Si?” she asked. “Wouldn’t you rather stay with me?”
“Can’t.” He clutched the cantina tighter to his chest. “Need to check on him, need to make sure. My job.”
Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, Georgianna pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing.
“Your job? Is this the job Beck gave you?”
His gaze finally settled, staring at the door as he nodded. His finger drew around the mouth of the cantina, feeling the screw threads on the cap.
“What was the job? Maybe I can help?” she asked hopefully.
He shook his head violently, locks of hair slapping across his face. She stepped back, balancing on the lip of the doorway.
“No help. No one to know,” Si muttered. “My job. Casey trusting me to keep him dead.”
Georgianna lifted her foot to step back, her boot finding nothing but air beneath it as she teetered back in the open doorway. She squealed, catching Si’s attention, and grabbed the edge of the doorway, clinging on as she righted herself back inside the car. Si watched her. His finger paused in its progression around the rim, his brow raised.
“Keep him dead?” She was confused. “Beck is alive, Si.”
“I know that!” he snapped before turning away, trampling the notes on the floor with his dusty boots. He lifted the cantina on his chest, resting his chin against the rim of the mouth. “Marshalls remain marshalls, dreta remain dead.”
“Dreta?”
The breath of a word slipped through her lips. She stared at Si. Her mind raced around Si’s words. Memories fell into place. She blinked, wondering how she had missed something so obvious.
“It was Cartwright,” she whispered. “Your job, it was Cartwright!”
Si spun on his heel. The cantina slipped from his fingers. In an instant he was before her, fingers grasping her wrists.
“You…” he sneered.
Georgianna wrenched her hands back. Yet he tightened his grip, tugging her towards him.
“Si, you’re hurting me!”
“You sold me out!” he snarled, ignoring her pleas.
Georgianna trembled in his grasp. She tugged away from him fruitlessly, shaking her head.
“No. No, Si, I didn’t,” she pleaded. “I heard about Landon the other day. Please, Si, let go.”
His grip on her wrists faltered, a spasm of uncertainty, or confusion, that gave her the chance she needed. Tugging herself free, she overbalanced, landing with a thump on the floor. Her breathing was ragged. Tearing her gaze from Si’s, she glanced around the car, making sure that there was nothing within reach he could use as a weapon. As she looked back at him, she cradled her hand in her lap, rubbing her fingers against the sore skin where she knew bruises would appear.
“Saw Alec?” he asked.
Georgianna shook her head.
“No, not Alec,” she corrected. “Landon, Si. Alec’s little brother. You remember, right?”
Si glared at her, but remained silent.
“There’s another drysta in the house with him. Her name is Nyah.”
“No, no others,” Si rattled. “Only Alec dead.”
Georgianna shifted her legs out from underneath her, moving herself into a more comfortable position. Between them, the papers lay scattered and crumpled on the floor.
“Nyah was bought after you were found,” she said, her panic subsiding as Si slipped back to sit opposite her.
He buried his head into his hands, hunching over his legs, and whined into his skin, rocking his body in a rhythmic bobbing. Tentatively, she reached out and laid her hand on his knee. Si froze, still as stone, but did not push her away.
“You’re confused, Si. It wasn’t Alec you saw, it was Landon.”
Si didn’t move, didn’t even breathe as Georgianna shifted a little closer.
“He was your job? Watching out for him?”
Finally, in a motion so small that she would have missed it had she not been staring at him so intently, Si nodded.
“Be… Beck told you where he was, that he’d been captured, didn’t he?”
“Safer,” Si breathed. “Stay dead, no one looks.”
He lifted his head, peering at her through his splayed fingers.
“No one helps.”
Georgianna let out a timid breath, staring at her fingers against Si’s knee. She had taken a guess, but never actually thought she might be right, that Beck would have known about Landon.
“Do you know his owner?”
“Maarqyn,” Si breathed. “Maarqyn Guinnyr. Mean. Cruel. Vtensu.”
She pulled her hand back from Si’s knee, her thumb coming to her lips where she chewed on the nail. Something wasn’t adding up. Si had been found the day after she’d seen Landon in the compound. Si had been missing for days; there was no way that he would know where Landon Cartwright had gone. Not unless someone knew before the sale that Maarqyn would buy the young drysta.
Were there more? Belsa they believed dead who had been sold in secret? Had Si been checking on all of them, and the damage of the heat had merged them into one singular assignment? Georgianna just knew one thing for certain: Beck had lied to her about more than Landon Cartwright.
30 Avoiding the Arrangement
Since her conversation with Si, Georgianna hadn’t been able to get his revelations out of her head. She avoided the Belsa encampment as much as she could. The moment Jaid had returned to take over her shift on the Way, Georgianna had excused herself, heading out into the camps. While her pride still smarted from Halden’s accusations, she figured that facing those feelings had to be better than confronting the Belsa marshall.
She couldn’t understand why Beck would be so keen on keeping these people hidden. She’d been suspicious since he told her that he wouldn’t help in Landon’s escape from Maarqyn. Now she could only wonder how many other Belsa out there had been captured instead of killed, and how many of them Beck had kept secret.
She hadn’t been able to get any more information out of Si, he was too confused and agitated by the time she tried to press him for more information. Georgianna knew that she needed more evidence before she approached one of the other Belsa about her suspicions, she couldn’t accuse Beck without proof. She realised that the only way she could do it was to wait until Landon was free. With Landon free, he would be able to tell the other Belsa what Beck had done: how Beck had left him with an Adveni to be tortured. Just a few more days, then all the lies would be out in the open.
While Halden was home—those few moments between him returning from work and Georgianna disappearing to return to it—questions bubbled silently between them. Halden didn’t dare mention Keiran or Alec, not in front of their father, and Georgianna didn’t want to share her confusion. Instead, they avoided it, and avoided each other.
Unfortunately, avoiding Halden didn’t do anything to wash his words from her head. She didn’t want her brother to see her as a child, only doing things that made her happy. However, the more she thought about it, the more difficult it became to dismiss his opinion as big-brother ramblings. Even Liliah had claimed that she only did things until they stopped feeling good, and while Georgianna wanted to argue, she wasn’t sure that her f
riend was wrong. She’d tried using the fact that she went into the compound, that she was helping Nyah and Landon, but in the end, those things made her feel good about herself. She was even letting others take the risk by not being the one to actually get Nyah and Landon from the house and remove their collars. She would be in the compound, safe and sound, feeling good about it all.
What was worse though, as helping Nyah and Landon had good repercussions for other people as well, was that she’d not been able to stop thinking about what they had both said about Keiran. She didn’t want to admit it, but she did really like the man, more than she’d originally intended. She’d thought she could handle the no-strings, casual thing that they had going. However, more and more, she realised that she didn’t like knowing that Keiran was seeing other women when she wasn’t around, or wondering if he liked them more than her.
She wasn’t ready for a joining ceremony, that was ridiculous, but maybe someday she would be. Hard as it was to imagine, she was suddenly very scared that when that day came, Keiran would be gone.
As such, Georgianna had done the only thing she could think of that left her some semblance of control. She avoided him. She blamed it on avoiding Beck, she told herself that it was safer this way, but the hope constantly nagged at her that surely, if she didn’t see him, if she didn’t remember how well things worked between them, then it wouldn’t be as difficult to move on.
So far, the plan had fallen flat on its face. Every time she let her mind wander, it went straight back to Keiran. Georgianna knew that she’d have to see him eventually, especially since their plan was set for the next day, but she didn’t want to have to have that conversation with him that ended in “I think it’s best that we don’t see each other anymore”. Before they had that conversation, she could at least pretend that everything was fine.
Medics’ Way had been quiet, too quiet for Georgianna’s liking. She didn’t want to see people injured, but the lack of patients to check on or tend to was giving her far too much time to think, not only about Keiran, but of everything that could go wrong the following day. With each new scenario that came to mind, she came one step closer to backing out completely.