Forgiveness

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Forgiveness Page 21

by Grace R. Duncan


  Miles used quick, efficient movements, cleaning the scratches and other cuts, then carefully setting the legs with Jamie’s help. “We can recover from most infections and injuries,” he said as he wrapped the bandages around the back leg. “But at best it can be rough in the process. At worst, we can actually end up dealing with infection and fever and other problems because of it. So, if I can avoid it, I’d prefer to.”

  “Thank you,” Eric said, letting out a breath. “That makes sense. I hate to see him hurt because of—”

  “Oh fuck no,” Tanner said, stepping into the room.

  Eric glanced up at him, then brought his gaze back to Ben. “What?”

  “That’s not on you. You are so not responsible for what happened to him. That’s her fault and no one else’s. Don’t go blaming yourself. You’ve got enough issues without adding that onto the pile.”

  Eric snorted. “I have a few.”

  Jamie poked Eric in the shoulder. “Dude, you have an entire publishing company’s worth.”

  Eric found himself smiling, and he flipped Jamie off. “Thanks so much.” He shook his head, but he felt better with his friends’ words. He let out a breath, then cleared his throat. “What about her?”

  “Bob’s got her in a room in the back of the bar. Finley called Denver for me while I stood over her, and they’re sending enforcers out. They’ll be here in a few hours to take her to headquarters. She’s being charged with attempted murder.”

  Eric looked up and nodded once. “Good. She’s lucky she didn’t succeed or she’d be dead right now.”

  “And I wouldn’t have blamed you one bit,” Tanner said. “I’m glad she didn’t, for a whole lot of reasons.” He put a hand on Eric’s shoulder. “He’ll be fine.”

  “That’s what everyone else keeps saying,” Eric said, blowing out a breath.

  “Including Diana,” Jamie added.

  Tanner raised his eyebrows.

  Jamie grinned so wide, Eric couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yes. She stopped us on the way back to the house.”

  Tanner whistled. “Damn. Lucky dog.”

  Jamie stuck his tongue out. “Wolf.”

  The banter eased the tight knot in Eric’s chest a little. They wouldn’t do that if they thought Ben wouldn’t recover.

  Miles tied off the bandage, and Eric cleared his throat. “Well. My mate needs rest.”

  “Yes,” Miles agreed. He stood and gathered the towels and things. “Mine is downstairs worried about Ben. Don’t tell him I told you, though. He’d skin me if he knew I told you he was worried.”

  Eric smiled. “Not a word.”

  “Yeah, so is Finley,” Tanner said, moving toward the door.

  “And Chad. We’ll get out of your hair.” Jamie put a hand on Eric’s shoulder. “She wouldn’t lie. Listen to her.”

  Eric wondered if that was just about Ben recovering or if it was also the words she’d left him with. You are ready, lost no more. Let go.

  He settled in next to Ben, watching his breathing, and knew Diana was right. It was time—past time—and Eric was annoyed as all hell to realize he actually had Kim to thank for it. Her return and the attack on Ben was the catalyst he needed to kick his ass into gear. Eric could let go of most of the rest of his fear. He’d never completely stop the worry of losing his mate, but he could get it to a normal level.

  And Ben could finally let go of his fears. Eric had no doubt Ben would be able to trust his wolf in a way he hadn’t before and finally trust in himself that Eric would want him.

  But beyond his fear, Eric wasn’t the same man he was nine years ago. He wouldn’t be the mate Ben needed if Kim hadn’t broken the bond and he hadn’t gone through what he had, the way he had.

  Eric carefully curled around Ben and kissed the top of his furry head. “Get better soon, baby.”

  BEN SHIFTED back to human form in his sleep a few hours later, waking Eric. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but he guessed the stress of everything had taken its toll. He frowned down at Ben’s legs, hoping the change with the braces on didn’t cause problems. He couldn’t tell for sure himself, not positive what he should look for to be able to tell.

  With a kiss to Ben’s temple, Eric went downstairs in search of Miles, who he found stretched out on the couch, his eyes closed. Eric was surprised to see Quincy against him, and Chad and Jamie tangled up on the other couch. As soon as Eric came down off the last step, Miles opened his eyes and sat up, followed quickly by Quincy, Chad, and Jamie.

  “Is he okay? Awake?” Miles asked, rubbing his face.

  It took Eric a moment to answer, as bemused as he was by all of them there. “Uh…. He’s not awake, but he shifted in his sleep. I’m worried about the braces.”

  Miles nodded. “Let me check,” he said as he stood and stretched. “I’m sure it’s fine, though. His wolf wouldn’t have let go if he wasn’t healing well enough.”

  Eric turned to the others. “You guys didn’t need to stay.”

  Jamie rolled his eyes. “As if we’d go until he’s awake.”

  Not knowing what to say to that, Eric simply followed Miles back up to their bedroom. He was used to a caring pack, but this was way more than just being packmates. Focusing on Ben, Eric stepped aside to let Miles check him over. He fidgeted as Miles probed the bruised leg, especially when Ben twitched over it, but let his breath out in relief when Miles started unwinding the bandages.

  “He’ll be fine. The braces can come off now. Unless he falls or something, it’ll heal normally. I’ll stay downstairs until the morning to make sure nothing happens. I cleaned the scratches, but I’ll want to make sure there’s no infection.”

  “Thanks, Miles. I appreciate it.”

  Miles waved a hand. “That’s what I’m for. Besides, I’d want to stay anyway.” He stood up and considered Eric for a moment. “I think I told you I lost my family when I came out back in high school.”

  Eric nodded. “I think so. Or maybe I heard it, but yeah.”

  “So, until I’d come to Forbes, I had no one. Over the last year, these guys have become my family. Jamie was kicked out. And while Finley and Tanner have parents and siblings, Quincy’s relationship with his father is… strained, at best.”

  “Yeah, I kinda figured that one.”

  “Right. So… whether you like it or not, we’ve rather adopted you into it too. You and Ben, because we know quite well how rocky things are there too.” Miles smiled, and Eric wondered at the expression on his face to cause it. “Just accept it,” he said, patting Eric’s arm. “We’ll be downstairs. Let me know when he wakes up.”

  Eric nodded but couldn’t seem to come up with anything to say. As Miles stepped through the door, Eric finally found his wits and voice. “We’re a seriously weird family….” He smiled at Miles’s grin. “But I’m glad to be part of it.”

  Miles nodded once, then closed the door behind himself.

  BEN DIDN’T wake until the morning. Eric was asleep, lying against Ben. When Ben brushed his fingers over Eric’s face, Eric opened his eyes and smiled.

  “Good morning, cariño,” Ben said, studying his mate’s expression. “You did not sleep much.”

  It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, but Eric nodded anyway. “Yeah, well, I was a little worried.”

  Ben smiled. “I am fine. Or, well, I will be. A couple of shifts and—” His stomach chose that moment to growl.

  “And food,” Eric finished for him. He leaned forward and kissed Ben’s forehead. “Let me go see what we’ve got. I’ll be right back.” He climbed out of bed, but before he could get to the door, Ben called to him.

  “Thank you for staying with me.”

  Eric tilted his head. “Of course, baby. You’ll heal a lot faster if I’m close.” He frowned. “If I’d claimed you, you’d be healing even faster.” He considered Ben. “I wonder if you’re well enough for that. I could—”

  “No.”

  Eric blinked. He didn’t think he’d ever heard Ben so firm. “Baby?”<
br />
  Ben shook his head. “You will claim me when you’re ready, not for this.”

  “But—”

  “No.” Ben sighed and picked at the cover over himself. “I need to know it is not just to help me heal.”

  Eric didn’t immediately reassure Ben, and Ben appreciated that. As much as he wanted Eric to claim him, they didn’t need it to be under any other circumstances than them perfectly healthy with nothing else going on. Otherwise, that worry would follow them—follow Ben—possibly for the rest of their lives.

  Eric nodded. “I understand, baby.” He crossed back over and kissed Ben softly. “That wouldn’t be the reason, but I do understand. Let me get you that food.”

  “Thank you, cariño.” Ben watched him go and let out a breath.

  Did that mean Eric was ready? Was it because Ben had gotten hurt? Or was there something more going on? Ben tried to figure it out, but he was still tired and still hurting too much to think, so he gave up for the present. He let it go and closed his eyes.

  What could only be a few moments later, Eric was back, surprisingly with the rest of their friends in tow. Ben wondered if they’d stayed or came back early, but he wasn’t about to voice the question.

  Miles came over first. “Let me take a look at you.”

  Ben nodded and moved the covers aside. “I’ll be fine.”

  “All the same, I’d like to make sure.” Miles turned his attention to the scratches on Ben’s side, and Ben tried to simply ignore the man’s fingers—and resulting pain—and looked up as Finley approached.

  “Here,” Finley said, stepping up on the other side of the bed. “Start with some of this. We’ll get more in a little bit.” He set a plate of breakfast sausage on the bed, and before Ben could even think about it, he had a link in his hand and had taken a bite. It wasn’t until he realized Finley had left and they were all staring at him and smiling that he swallowed awkwardly.

  “Uh….”

  That just got him grins. “Glad you’re feeling better. We were worried,” Chad said. The rest nodded—even Quincy—and Ben blinked, puzzled, looking at Eric.

  Eric scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, I was, uh, schooled last night about that, by the good doc there. It seems we’re actually part of this weird family and we’re supposed to just get used to it.”

  Ben had no idea what to do with that and didn’t even try. Instead, he picked up another sausage and focused on eating.

  “Of course you are,” Finley said as he came back, another plate of sausages in his hand. “These are fastest. I can get you some steak a little later.” He set the second plate next to the first and sat on the side of the bed.

  Miles chose that moment to prod Ben’s leg, making him wince. “Ow!” came out before he could stop himself.

  “Yeah, you’ll need a couple more shifts and some time before that’s healed completely. The scratches will be fine sometime today, though you’ll still be sore for a while.”

  Ben nodded. “Thank you.”

  Miles patted his shoulder. “Of course. Now—” He sent a pointed look at the rest of the guys. “Now that we know he’s recovering just fine, we’re all going to leave him alone to rest. Right?”

  “Yup.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Of course.”

  “I have some work to do,” Quincy said, following the others out of the room.

  “I’ll be right down,” Miles said, then turned back to Ben. “Let me know if anything gets worse. I can be here in just a few minutes.” He looked at Eric. “He should be fine. He’s past the window for any kind of infection for us, so don’t worry. Just stay close so the soreness fades as quickly as possible.”

  “I will. He’ll get sick of me,” Eric said, grinning.

  Ben rolled his eyes. “Hardly, cariño.”

  “Well. Let me know if you’re still hungry after this and I’ll get those steaks out.” Finley waved, and he and Miles disappeared.

  “Eat,” Eric said, taking Finley’s place.

  Ben picked up the first plate but blinked at Eric. He held out a link. “Do you want some?”

  “No, those are yours. You eat.”

  Ben took another bite, but when Eric kept watching him, his cheeks heated. “Are you going to watch me?”

  Eric blushed and dropped his gaze. “Sorry. Just….”

  “Relieved, yes. I can feel it.”

  “And I can feel your exasperation,” Eric said. “Really sorry.”

  Ben set the plate down and reached out. “No, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I would be the same if you were here.”

  “I’m glad to know you’d worry.” Eric gave a smile that Ben knew was forced, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, when Eric kissed Ben’s hand, he squeezed Eric’s in return, then they let go. “Eat. I’m going to go get some coffee.”

  BEN FOUND himself more than a little frustrated at his slow recovery. It was incredibly faster than it would be for a human, but Ben had never been patient with injury—as rarely as it happened—and he wanted himself well now. His bones had mended but were still weak, even after two more shifts and several pounds of meat. He wanted to move around, but the only thing Eric would let him do was go to the bathroom—and Eric even insisted on carrying him there.

  On the other side of that, Ben wasn’t alone and he was glad of it. Aside from carrying and doing for him, Eric also wouldn’t leave. Quincy had given some suggestions of anime they could watch, and Ben and Eric had passed the time that afternoon watching it. The one Quincy said they should watch first wasn’t on DVD, but it was on the internet and they’d spent the afternoon binge-watching it.

  Eric’s comments that morning about claiming hadn’t left Ben’s head all day. On one hand, he wanted to ask Eric if he really was ready to claim. Ben’s determination on that hadn’t wavered; he wouldn’t do it until he was healthy. At the same time, he couldn’t help but wonder. Would Eric have offered it if he wasn’t ready? What had happened?

  Eric had told Ben about the meeting with Diana. After he woke up, Ben had told Eric of his own meeting. He no longer doubted the existence of the gods, and that helped him believe more in himself and in the fact that it wasn’t his shortcomings as a wolf that were holding things up. There was still some doubt, but there wasn’t much he could do to rid himself of it.

  So was it as Diana had said to him? Was Eric really ready?

  Ben had been mentally circling most of the day, and it was driving him crazy. He thought he was going to be a candidate for the psychiatric hospital at the rate he was going.

  “What’s wrong?” Eric asked, pausing the video.

  Ben sighed, annoyed with himself for getting so lost and frustrated that Eric could sense it. “I’m sorry, cariño.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for. And that doesn’t answer the question.”

  Ben frowned, not sure how much to say or how to put it.

  “Just tell me, baby. I think I have an idea what it is, anyway. Not talking doesn’t work.”

  With another sigh, Ben nodded. “I know. I… your… suggestion this morning.”

  “That’s what I thought it was,” Eric said, nodding.

  Ben—with effort—turned to look at Eric more directly. He mulled over the best way to say it but just ended up blurting, “Did you mean it?”

  Eric didn’t answer right away. The hesitation worried Ben to a point, but he was also somewhat glad Eric was thinking over his reply. “I did. And no.”

  Ben blinked. “No?”

  “No, I didn’t just suggest it because you’re hurt.” When Ben opened his mouth to speak, Eric held up a hand. “Sure, the timing was because of that. But, Ben….” He took Ben’s hand, threading their fingers together, then kissed the back softly. “Diana is right, and not just because she’s a deity. This isn’t because I know you’re capable of fighting either.”

  Ben smiled in response to Eric’s. “How did you know I was thinking that?”

  Eric simply raised an eyebrow.
<
br />   Letting out a sigh, Ben nodded. “Right. You know me.”

  “I’d hope, after being bonded, even in the limited way we are, that I would know you by now.” Eric reached up with his free hand and brushed his fingertips over Ben’s cheek. “You’re so unsure of yourself, of your place, of how much people like and want you.” He shook his head. “I worry about someday meeting your mamá. I may not be as polite as I should be.”

  Ben dropped his gaze to their hands. “She—”

  “No excuses, Ben. I understand being raised a certain way, but she had evidence in front of her eyes. I assume she and your dad had the telepathy?”

  “Yes.” Ben nodded. “Though my understanding was she did not use it much.”

  Eric shrugged a shoulder. “That’s on her. She had every chance to see that her religion was wrong, that what she’d been taught about us—or the idea of us—wasn’t right.” He waved a hand. “The point is, I get you. Your first assumption is going to be that it’s your fault somehow.”

  Ben blew out a breath. “I… wish I could get past that.”

  Eric nodded. “Yeah, but here’s the thing. I think the best way for you to do that is for us to finally claim each other.”

  Ben traced the veins on the back of Eric’s hand. “But are you really ready for that?”

  Eric put a finger under Ben’s chin and tilted his head until Ben met his gaze. “Yes. And as soon as you’re healthy, I want us to.”

  Chapter 18

  IF WAITING to recover that first day—just because Ben wanted to feel better and not for any other reason—was bad, this was so much worse. Knowing their claiming was just on the other side of his recovery, he was beyond anxious, passing crazy, and getting into downright batshit territory. He was making Eric crazy too, and he could sense both Eric’s agitation and his frustration as well.

 

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