Noah Jordan vs. The Aliens

by Tyler Wild

  “Yeah, basically.”

  I grimaced. “You’re not really helping.”

  “Sorry.” Ariel sighed. “As you can imagine I’m understandably pissed right now. I don’t have a body anymore. Do you know how hard I worked in the gym to get that body? An ass like that isn’t free. Lots of glute work—squats, donkey kicks, fire hydrants, kettlebell swings. Don’t get me started on macros.”

  I thought about the situation for a moment. “Since you’re connected to the neural network, you could guide me through the ship, right?”

  “Have you been paying attention? I don’t have any legs.”

  I grabbed the wireless camera that served as Ariel’s eyes.

  “Hey, go easy. You’re making me dizzy.”

  “Sorry.” I stabilized the camera.

  “What do you have in mind?”

  “You’re coming with me.”

  Ariel grumbled for a moment. “Okay, but then you have to kill me.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “But what if you die first?” Ariel said, having second thoughts. Her synthetic voice was thick with fear.

  “Uh, then you’ll live on…?”

  “Well, you better be successful, or I’m gonna kick your ass.”

  “Deal!”

  Ariel cussed like a sailor and didn’t hold her tongue. Why the hell should she? You couldn’t get much closer to death without dying than her current situation. At this point, no fucks were given.

  I knelt beside Daisy’s cage. “Hey, girl. I’m coming back for you. Just sit tight.”

  She barked.

  I hated to leave her, but she’d be safer here.

  I moved to the hatch and peered through the polycarbonate viewport.

  “If you make your way down this corridor and take a left, you’ll find a weapons locker room with ammunition, grenades, and body armor,” Ariel said.

  I pressed my face against the glass, trying to get an angle down the hallway. I waited until it was empty, then pressed the button on the bulkhead, and the hatch slid open. With the wireless camera in my hand, I pushed into the corridor. I didn't know how long, or how far connection would hold. I assumed it would work throughout the entire ship since it was all a connected network.

  If I lost the ability to communicate with Ariel, I was in deep trouble.

  I scurried down the hallway and flattened my back against the bulkhead as I reached the corner. I peered around the juncture and scanned in both directions. When it was clear, I rounded the corner and crept down the hallway. I held up for a moment at the hatch to the locker room. I peered in through the polycarbonate viewport and saw a few aliens inside, gearing up.

  The clink of boots against the deck filtered throughout the corridor as a pair of aliens approached.

  I had to get out of sight quickly.

  They were going to round the corner at any minute. I pressed the button on the bulkhead and the hatch slid open. I dashed into the locker room, then ducked into a storage closet before the aliens inside the compartment took notice.

  I huddled in the small compartment until the aliens left the locker room.Then I slipped out of the storage compartment and edged down the foyer to the main area. There were rows of storage lockers that were labeled with what I assumed were the names of the individual sailors. To my left, there were rows and rows of plasma rifles, grenades, magazines, and ammunition. Several armored suits hung from racks.

  "Now what do I do?" I asked.

  "Suit up and use the active camouflage to navigate the corridors,” Ariel said.

  "Are you kidding me?" At 5 foot 10 there was no way I was going to look like a 7 foot tall alien. Plus, the suit wasn't designed to fit my form.

  "You've got a better idea?" Ariel asked.

  I grumbled to myself. This was never going to work.

  I moved to the rack and grabbed a suit of armor. I pulled on the pants, and to my surprise, the smart-material sized to fit. Since I didn't have hock joints in my ankles, the lower extremities didn't conform properly to my anatomy. But it would have to do.

  The boots were wide and floppy. The chest armor conformed automatically, but was still a little large. I slid the helmet over my head, and it attempted to conform to my shape, but once again, the anatomy didn't match. I could barely see out of the eye slots. There was a heads-up-display, but I was unable to decipher what the alien glyphs were indicating.

  I looked over my new attire. I felt ridiculous. No one was going to believe that I was an alien. I was a little kid in an oversized Halloween costume.

  I grabbed a plasma rifle and slung it over my shoulder and took a few thermal grenades. I stuffed them into a pouch on my utility belt. "Now what?"

  "There is a control pad on the utility belt. You can adjust it to change the camouflage pattern on the armor, or use an active camouflage pattern which will mimic your surroundings."

  "How does that work?"

  "Look, I'm just a brain in a jar. What do you want from me?”

  “Sorry."

  After a moment, Ariel responded. “The armor is lined with micro-cameras and display technology. It samples the surroundings and reproduces a similar image.”

  “Thank you. Was that so hard to say?”

  "It took me a second to access that information.”

  “How does that work exactly? Accessing the neural net?"

  "I don't know,” Ariel said. “I think about something, then a moment later I have the answer."

  "Something concerns me about that," I said.

  "It's actually kind of cool. It's like I have a vast database that I can draw on at any moment. Like being hard-wired into the Internet."

  “Since you’re hardwired into the alien network, are they hardwired into you?"

  "I don't know."

  “Do they know what we are doing right now?" I asked.

  "I think if that were the case, we’d find ourselves surrounded by a squad of aliens."

  "Good point."

  I fumbled with the dial on the utility belt and watched the pattern change from matte black, to urban breakup, to jungle green, to arctic tundra, then to a seemingly invisible state. The downside to the invisible mode was that it drew a huge amount of resources, and the refresh rate made for noticeable strobing during movement. But standing still it worked quite well. My weapon automatically paired with the suit and mirrored whatever pattern I had set.

  “Quit dicking around and get moving!” Ariel barked.

  The hatch slid open, and I heard someone enter the compartment. Panic washed through my body. My heart leapt into my throat.

  37

  I flattened myself against the bulkhead and remained still as an alien entered the compartment. The creature went about its business, getting suited up for duty. I didn’t move a muscle. With inviso-mode, the creature didn’t notice me. After a few minutes, it marched back into the corridor.

  I moved to the hatch and peered through the viewport. When the hallway was clear, I slipped into the corridor, keeping my inviso-camo activated. I moved through the hallways, flattening myself against the bulkhead and remaining still any time I encountered alien troops. With Ariel’s help, I navigated my way to the center of the massive spacecraft. It took two hours of maneuvering, hiding, and advancing to reach the Queen’s chamber.

  Two armed guards stood out front.

  I hovered in the corridor, trying to formulate a plan. I hadn’t thought this far ahead. What was I going to do? Shoot them? Blow the hatch with a grenade? Storm the Queens chamber? I’d have the whole ship on top of me in no time. Thousands of these drone warriors would rush to protect their Queen, and my odds of success would be greatly diminished.

  It would be worth it if I thought I could take her out. Not many people get to sacrifice themselves for the good of all humanity. Not that I wanted to die, but it would have been a worthy cause.

  Then something terrible happened.

  It was bad timing.

  The active camouflage on my suit started to st
robe and flicker. The invisible mode was designed to be used briefly. It reverted to the default matte black coloring. The suit was almost depleted of power.

  The Queen’s guards took notice of my sudden appearance in the corridor. Their heads craned in my direction.

  I tried to act casual. I shrugged and tried to play it off as a system malfunction. No big deal. Nothing to see here.

  The two guards exchanged a skeptical glance.

  I took the opportunity to spin around and stroll around the corner, out of sight.

  “There is a storage compartment on the left,” Ariel said. “I suggest you hide in there.”

  I pressed the access button on the bulkhead and the hatch slid open. I slipped inside and sealed myself in. “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

  “I don’t know. I think you’re pretty much fucked. Which means I’m fucked.”

  “Do you think maybe you could develop a little bit more of a positive attitude?”

  “Let’s switch places, and you tell me how much of a positive attitude you can maintain? I think I’m doing pretty fucking good, all things considered.”

  “Point taken.”

  “You know what totally sucks?”

  “I need you to focus on solutions.”

  “I’m hungry,” Ariel said. “I don’t even have a stomach and I’m starving. How crazy is that? A cheeseburger would be the bomb. Fries. A jumbo chocolate shake. Mmm.”

  The alien helmet was obstructing my view, so I peeled it off. I glanced around the small compartment. The shelves were stocked with containers and various items. None of which I recognized. They were labeled with alien characters. My eyes caught sight of a vent near the ceiling. I climbed up on a shelf to access it. The scalpel I had taken from the lab came in handy to pry the cover off.

  The vent shaft was narrow, but it looked like I might be able to squeeze inside, but I’d need to strip out of the armor. It was too bulky and would likely get hung up on something. The hard surface would clink against the vent shaft, making too much noise.

  The containers on the shelf came in handy. I stacked the boxes, creating a makeshift staircase to the shaft. I crawled inside and shimmied down the narrow passageway. It was barely wide enough to accommodate my shoulder width.

  The aliens breathed oxygen, just like we did—though it seemed they preferred a higher ratio. I had no way of knowing for sure, but the atmosphere on board the mothership seemed to have slightly more oxygen in the mix.

  “So, this is your plan?” Ariel said.

  “You’ve got a better idea?”

  “It’s just a little cramped in here.”

  “Cramped? You are already in a jar.”

  “Yes, but now I’m in a jar seeing through a camera that’s in a tiny vent shaft, and you keep moving the camera like a bad found-footage film.”

  “Sorry.”

  I slithered my way through the vent to the Queen’s chamber. I peered through the slats in the vent cover, taking in the magnitude of the compartment. It was huge, and so was the Queen.

  38

  I wasn’t sure what I expected to find when I reached the Queen’s chamber, but it was nothing like I had anticipated.

  The Queen wasn’t pumping out eggs. Reproduction didn’t seem to be her function at all. She was the size of a semi-truck, maybe a little larger. She reminded me of a wasp without the wings. She had a large head, rounded thorax, and an elongated abdomen with a vicious-looking stinger.

  Drone servants attended to her, feeding her and cleaning her body. She was the brain of the ship. The command-in-chief of the armed forces. But she never left this chamber.

  I pried off the vent cover and pulled it back into the shaft.

  Shit was about to get real.

  I tossed a few grenades into the chamber. They bounced across the deck and rolled toward the Queen.

  I ducked back into the vent and took cover.

  The detonation rumbled the bulkheads. A white-hot ball of plasma consumed the compartment and searing heat rushed into the vent shaft. It damn near singed my eyebrows. My ears rang from the deafening concussion. The agonized screeches of the Queen pierced the air.

  I crawled back to the edge of the vent shaft and peered into the chamber.

  Guards rushed into the compartment. They scanned the area and opened fire at the vent shaft. I retracted into the shaft as the plasma blasts exploded the surrounding metal.

  The Queen writhed and flailed, then fell motionless.

  I scurried through the maze of passageways. Ariel said something, but my ears were still ringing.

  “What?”

  “The Queen is dead.”

  “Mission accomplished,” I said, triumphantly.

  “Sort of.”

  “What do you mean, sort of?”

  “The Queen regulated all aspects of the ship and controlled guidance systems, etc. We are going to fall out of orbit. I don’t really have skin in this game, no pun intended, but that might be a problem for you.”

  “You mean, we’re going to crash?”

  “Yes.”

  “Is there any other way to control the ship?”

  “Not that I am aware of.”

  I climbed out of the vent shaft, back into the storage compartment. I moved to the viewport in the hatch and scanned the hallway. The alien drones wandered about aimlessly. They had no purpose, no guidance, no instruction, no reason for living.

  The ringing in my ears progressed to a steady hiss. I opened the hatch and stepped into the hallway with my weapon in the firing position. My presence drew no reaction from the aliens. I took aim and blasted one of the creatures in the head. The bolt incinerated the goon’s skull and splattered green goo on the bulkhead. None of the nearby aliens reacted. They seemed, confused—in a mental fog. I didn’t know how long the disorientation would last.

  A thin smile curled on my lips. I couldn’t help but derive some small bit of satisfaction from wasting the creatures that destroyed Earth.

  I made my way through the corridors, slaughtering aliens like they were nothing more than paper targets. I left a trail of bodies in my wake, cluttering the passageways. I had no sympathy for the creatures.

  I made my way back to the lab and rescued Daisy from her cage. Her sloppy tongue slapped me in the face, overjoyed to see me. I hugged on her and stroked her fur and told her she would be reunited with Floyd soon.

  "You've got to hold to your end of the bargain," Ariel said.

  A grim frown pulled at my face. "Are you sure you want to go right now?"

  "Look at me. Would you honestly want to live like this for the rest of your life?"

  I shook my head. "Maybe there's a way to transfer your consciousness?"

  "Maybe. Good luck figuring out how to do that."

  I paused, solemnly. "How do you want me to do it?"

  "Turn off the power to the unit. It's keeping my brain oxygenated. I’ll suffocate in a matter of minutes."

  "That sounds like a horrible way to die.”

  "Nothing about dying is easy. Nobody gets out alive. Everybody's got to pay the toll."

  "Do you have any family or friends? Is there anybody I should try to contact?"

  “I’ve got a brother. But he's a total asshole." Ariel paused. "My dad's been gone for a while, and my mom didn't make it through the invasion. My ex-boyfriend is a jerk, and I kinda hope the aliens did me a favor with that one. Basically, I got nobody."

  "I'm sorry." I frowned. "Do you want me to say a few words?"

  “I’m not dead yet."

  "Well, you will be." I paused.

  “What are you waiting for? Flip the switch!"

  I hesitated. "I don't know if I can do it."

  "I'm practically dead already.”

  The memories of my mother came flooding back. It was like I was in the hospital all over again and we were making the decision to take her off life support. I know I just met Ariel, but she felt like a friend. Flicking the switch and ending her life seemed like su
ch a waste. I couldn’t have defeated the Queen without her.

  39

  I pressed the power button, and the glow of the stasis tube faded. The oxygenation of the brain stopped.

  “Thanks, buddy,” Ariel said.

  It was the last thing she would ever say. I watched with wet eyes as the stasis tube settled. An anchor of sadness tugged at my heart. Ariel was a hero, and she deserved to see Earth rebound from the alien invasion.

  A depressive slump pulled at my body. “Come on, Daisy. Let’s go.”

  She barked and followed me out of the med-lab. I twisted through the labyrinth of passageways to the detention center, blasting every alien I encountered. I wasted the two aliens at the command terminal, then moved behind the console studying the array of controls. I had no way of deciphering the alien glyphs. The control terminal clearly regulated access to the holding cells and security cameras.

  I started flipping switches and pressing buttons. Force-shields deactivated and prisoners flowed into the corridors. Soon, the cellblock was flooded with a horde of people.

  I plowed through the crowd, moving in the opposite direction, looking for Floyd.

  A wide smile curled on his lips when he saw me and Daisy. He sunk to his knees and embraced the dog. She wagged her tail and slobbered on his face. He loved on her and hugged her tight. I’ve never seen a person so elated in all my life.

  His eyes twinkled. “I don’t know how you did it, kid. But you done a good job!”

  I smiled. “We’re not out of this yet.”

  His smile faded, replaced with concern. “What is it?”

  “We’re going to crash. No big deal.”

  “Noah!” an excited voice shouted.

  I peered across the sea of prisoners, and to my delight, saw a familiar face. My eyes sparkled as Skyler struggled to make her way toward me. Madison, Hannah, and Phoebe trailed behind her. They all flung their arms around me and held on tight.

  “Thank God you’re okay,” Skyler said. “We were worried sick about you.”