by L. J. Stock
My big brother was protective of me, but more than that, it would ruin the goodbye I had planned.
“Why now?” My mom’s protests were becoming repetitive. Since I’d made the decision to isolate myself from Steven and his family for their safety, she’d been harassing me endlessly.
“If I’m doing this whole princess thing, and it looks more than likely I will be, I can’t risk them, Mom. Liana’s pregnant again, Ollie’s a baby, and this is the only way I can protect them from this war and the inevitable assassination attempts on my life.”
My mom’s face was reminiscent of the way it would appear if she’d just sucked a lemon. The word assassination had done it. Separating myself from my brother and his family wasn’t something I cherished either, but I was turning into a realist.
“Okay. What if they’re found anyway?” she demanded, hands on her hips like I hadn’t thought about that very scenario a thousand times already.
“They can always call me, or Acantha, even Alexa or Zander. I’m not saying we won’t help them, Mom, but I can’t risk them.”
I knew exactly why she was upset. This decision – my need to protect my brother and his growing family – meant that she had to pick a side, too. She couldn’t keep flipping between them and us. It was unfair to ask her to make a choice, but she would create the link between our families just as much as I would.
“This is ridiculous,” she barked, her hands dropping. I could hear Damon outside my door as he waited for me patiently, but I was stuck. “You’re asking me to choose between my children, Cass. You don’t understand how impossible that is.”
“You honestly think this is easy for me? I didn’t flip a coin and decide to cut them out of my life. The fact that I will never see my nephew grow up or see the new baby being born kills me. It rips me in half, but how do I let millions of people suffer because I can’t be the person they need me to be, because I can’t say goodbye to my brother for his own safety? Especially when that bastard, Thánatos, could kill me anyway. You know as well as I do that I have to take this path, which means I have no choice but to protect Steven and his family, and as unfair as it is, you have to make a decision sooner rather than later.”
“I hate this.”
“Believe me, you’re not the only one.”
My mom studied me. She was standing there looking at me harder than she had in my entire life. I didn’t know what she was hoping to see, but she seemed to find it. Tapping her fingers on her thighs, she rocked back on her heels before throwing her arms around me and pulling me close. I stepped into the embrace with ease and returned her hug with as much fervor as she offered. We didn’t always get along. Even after all the years apart, we bickered like siblings, but I knew she loved me. She’d worked to try and protect me from this and I was still here anyway. I had to give her the time she needed to make her own decisions.
“Mom, I should go. If I don’t do this now, I never will.”
“I know why you’re doing this, Cass. I know it comes from a pure and beautiful place inside of you, but that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less. For any of us.”
“I know. I promise I will explain it as best I can to them. I also promise not to be upset when you choose to stay with Steve.”
“Cass–” She pulled back, holding me at arm’s length, but I was continuing before she could say anything.
“I’m not taking your decision away. It’s still yours, but you know as well as I do you can’t stay away from your grandchildren.”
“I have two children, Cass.”
“I know,” I whispered, stepping from her embrace. “And you love us both. That’s not in question.”
I headed to the door, leaving her standing in the middle of my room in stunned silence. I didn’t need to imagine what was going through her head. I already knew. I was feeling the pain every minute of every day. I could feel it with every phone call I made to Steven and Liana, in every conversation I had with the toddler who loved me unconditionally and the sister-in-law who had never once judged me for who I was. I finally had a chance to be a part of their lives and I was giving it all up to save a world that didn’t know I existed yet.
“You don’t have to do this now,” Damon whispered quietly as I pulled the door closed behind me. “You still have time.”
“Every second I put it off it’s a risk to them and their lives, Damon. I won’t be responsible for them being hurt. Not more than they already will be.”
Nodding in understanding, Damon stepped out of my way and followed me down to the kitchen. Once he knew where we were going, he stepped outside and let the wind sweep him up as I dipped my hands into the full sink.
Goodbyes
I made my way up from the small body of water across from my brother’s house, and stopping at Damon’s side as he formed in the middle of the road as though he’d been there the whole time. I wished I knew what to say to him. I wished he’d knew what to say to me, but we walked to the house in silence, lingering at the bottom of the porch stairs like they were a mountain rather than four simple steps up.
Damon seemed to understand I needed the silence, but inexplicably, I could feel the warm pads of his fingers brush against the palm of my hand in reassurance, the gentle sweeps moving in an upward stroke until they brushed over the veins of my wrists. I could have selfishly stood there for the rest of my life with that small point of contact. It fed me what I wanted, while offering me the strength I needed to move forward.
“Are you gonna stand out there all day?” Steven asked from the house, his smile so similar to mine as he peered out of the door. We'd both inherited our mom's mouth, and it was the only feature that made us look even remotely related.
“I was thinking about it.” I laughed, launching myself up the porch stairs and into his arms. He stepped outside and caught me easily, swinging me around in a wide circle before setting me on my feet again.
“I was gonna let you work at your own speed, but I figured it was best to come out before another day passed.”
“Always with the sarcasm.” I grinned, loving the familiarity of my brother’s hug. Steven had always been a symbol of safety and love to me. He had been the one I went to when I was feeling unwell or had fallen over and scraped my knee. He was my hero and had been for as long as I could remember.
When the silence started to stretch on a little too long, Steven grabbed the reins and broke the ice yet again.
“So, who's this?” he asked. A short jab came up against my arm and I grinned at him. I wasn’t as soft as I had been as a kid. The dead arm trick was going to take more work.
“Right, I'm sorry.” I groaned, biting my lips as I threw my arms up in the air. It was the first time since I’d found Damon again that I had forgotten his presence. “Steven, this is my friend and personal guard, Damon.”
The recognition flickered behind Steven’s eyes at Damon’s name. I knew he was wondering whether it was the same Damon from my childhood – the same boy he’d once thanked for taking care of me when he couldn’t. His eyes caught mine and I offered him a nod in confirmation.
“Damn. Nice to meet you, bud. Anyone who takes care of this much trouble has my respect,” he said, tucking me under his arm and offering Damon a hand to shake.
“You still know her well then,” Damon retorted, taking the offered hand and shaking it. It was so bizarre to think that the two of them knew one another in so many ways but had never met.
“Oh yes, at least we know she's not as crazy as a loon, but then I always knew she was the normal one.” Only my mom could have put things so eloquently, and only my brother could have reworded it to sound like that.
“You're such an ass.” I laughed, slapping his stomach. “Where's Liana?”
“Inside, and I'm not sure whether she's nesting or cleaning for you. We've never had royalty come to visit before,” he teased, bowing to me.
“Oh, please don’t start with that crap, and why didn't you stop her?” I crowed, ducking out from u
nder his arm and making my way to the door.
“Have you ever tried to stop a pregnant woman from doing something she's got her mind set on?”
“No.” I chortled, peeking inside.
“Then don't judge, little sister.”
I rolled my eyes as I stepped inside the house and grinned at the sandy blond-haired toddler who was waddling toward the open door with a wide smile on his lips. He squealed when he saw me and I couldn't keep myself from picking him up and showering him with kisses. His giggle rang out in the room and filled it with more happiness and elation than I’d experienced in a long time.
“What is he up to now?” Liana asked, coming out from the kitchen. Her smile brightened when she saw me. Her growing belly had her shuffling toward me until her arms were wrapped around both Oliver and I.
“I’ve missed you, Cass. It's been too long. We were so worried. You know what Mom’s like – all drama and no explanation.”
“I know, I'm sorry. I should have been the one to tell you. I’ve just been so busy with training...”
Liana gently touched a bruise on my cheek and sighed. “Yes, Mom told us all about that, too.”
“Auntie Cazz, ouchies,” Ollie sang, prodding my bruise with his finger and giggling as I pretended to eat the miniature-sized digits. I barely felt bruises anymore. I’d been pickled in them for months, mostly due to my own errs in judgment.
“Ollie, no, that hurts, baby.” Liana sighed, shaking her head dramatically for his benefit.
“It's fine.” I grinned, bouncing him in my arms before leaning forward so he was upside down. His squeals were loud and mingled with more giggles and I couldn’t help but join in.
“Up, up,” Ollie chanted after a while, his chubby little fingers wiggling and his face a little confused. I pulled him to me and he clung to my body, hiding under my hair. As the footsteps rang out behind me, I knew exactly where the shyness was coming from.
“It's okay,” I reassured him, rubbing his back. “That's my friend, Damon. Damon, this is my sister-in-law, Liana, and this little guy is Ollie.”
Damon greeted Liana first, his large hand outstretched while his genuine smile spread across his lips. Liana reciprocated before sidestepping into Steven's arms with a happy sigh.
“This is Ollie?” Damon asked. His head tilted to the side in question as he tried to gain Oliver’s attention.
“Yes, sir, it sure is,” I responded in a cheerful tone, hoping to coax Ollie out from his hiding place.
“I don't believe you.” The ease in his interactions had more effect on me than I wanted to admit. My belly flipped as our eyes met and he threw a wink at me. Ollie, aware the conversation was about him, peeked out from under my hair and looked at Damon again, his big blue eyes trying to get a read on the man talking to him.
“Nope, you're not Ollie.”
“Yu huh,” Ollie said, his head bobbing in the affirmative. “Am so too.”
“Nu uh,” Damon said in response. “You know how I know?”
Ollie shook his head. He was out from his protective barrier and watching Damon with curiosity.
“Because Auntie Cass told me that Ollie was...” He stepped forward and tickled Ollie's sides until the giggles filled the room again, accompanied with squeals of joy. “Ticklish.”
Ollie squirmed in my frasp, his little arms flailing while his legs kicked. It was hard not to join in with his laughter. Once Ollie got going it was contagious.
“Stop. Pwease, stop,” Ollie squealed, his tiny hands around my neck digging into my skin as he wriggled away from Damon's fingers. The moment Damon stepped away and the laughter died down, Ollie turned in my arms to look at his tickle monster again. “See, I am Owwie.”
“Yep, it appears that you are. My mistake.” Damon grinned with a shrug, his eyes flicking to mine briefly.
Ollie grinned and I lowered him to the floor, onto his feet. “Momma, snack, pwease?”
“Oh no, sir, it's your naptime.” Liana laughed, scooping him up off the floor.
“No, Momma.” Ollie pouted, crossing his tiny arms over his chest.
“Yes. I'm sure Aunt Cass will say goodbye before she leaves.”
“Weally?” he asked, his eyes turning to me in earnest. I gave him a smile and nodded, stepping forward to shower him with kisses again.
“Really. So why don't you take your nap so I can cuddle with you while you’re all warm and snuggly?”
“Otay.”
Liana grinned and headed toward the back of the house, while Steven led us into the living room and motioned for us to sit. I took a seat on the deep couch and tried to ignore the stuttered beat of my heart as Damon took the seat next to me. His leg was against mine, the heat emanating through the material and spreading straight into my chest. It was getting harder and harder to ignore these moments, and with the glance Damon gave me, I was beginning to think I wasn’t the only one.
“Have you seen Robert lately?” I asked out of basic curiosity, while also attempting to distract myself from my proximity to Damon. There were so many things going on in my head, it was becoming difficult to sort through it all.
“You mean you haven't heard?” Steven asked, looking a little surprised.
I shook my head and shuffled back on the couch. “Heard what?”
“He was arrested. He got into a bar fight and the guy pressed charges. Apparently, he was an off duty cop, so not only is he facing assault and battery but also assaulting an officer of the law.”
“I'm sorry, Steve. I didn't know.”
Steven shrugged. Robert may not have been my father, but he was my brother's. Steven had always tried to protect me growing up. He was the one who found me when I tried to take my own life, and he was always the only one to say something to Robert when he was being particularly nasty. No matter what was going on in my life, I’d always been able to depend on him. I wasn't sure what this news meant to him, but all I could think was that Robert had gotten what he deserved. I would never say it out loud. Just because I was free of him, it didn’t mean Steven was.
“Why are you sorry? He's the asshole who did it, Cass. It was only a matter of time until he let that depraved nature of his get the best of him, and without you and Mom to take the anger out on, he finally chose the wrong target. He may be my dad, but it doesn't mean I have to like him.”
I didn’t know why I was so surprised. Steven had never reveled in the limelight from his father. I’d always known he held animosity toward Robert, but hearing it out loud was surprisingly cathartic.
“Cass, do you really think I was okay with the way he treated you and Mom?”
“No, but...”
“But nothing, kiddo. I stopped talking to him the moment he put you in that hospital. I came to visit that weekend and you were gone. The bastard was gloating about being rid of you, even if he had to foot the bill for it. I didn't know they were planning it. I knew you weren't crazy, because there were times I thought I heard it, too. I would be in the shower and I could hear you in your room whimpering, and beyond that, I could hear something. It was just too faint to every really cling on to.”
“You did?” I asked, trying to keep the alarm out of my tone. This was all news to me. He’d always been empathetic when I’d been upset, but not for a moment did I think that he’d heard what I had.
“Yeah, but I didn't realize what it was until Mom told me the truth. That’s when some of it started making more sense to me. Before, it was just rough noise, almost like sound trying to come through the static on a radio.”
“What did she tell you exactly?” I asked, smiling at Liana as she came back in the room. I wondered what had been explained and what had been omitted. Mom was great at trying to do the right thing, but it didn’t always end up the way it should. She thought she was helping, but I feared that leaving something important out could mean a life or death situation.
“Very little considering the situation. All she said was that our grandmother was someone special who could tr
avel to another dimension using water and that it was passed down to us through her genes. Then she showed me by asking Liana to pour a bath. She filled her hands with water and just dissolved. It freaked me out.”
“It didn't do much for me either,” Liana said, sitting on the arm of Steven's chair.
“She never was good at breaking the news gently,” I added.
“She also told us that you were the child of the king in the other dimension, that she'd had an affair with him without knowing he was royalty. That you’re, you know, a princess.”
“She left gaping holes in the story, though,” Liana said quietly. “We were hoping you would fill them in for us.”
I nodded. I owed them that much, especially after Mom had fragmented even the partial truth. I also wanted them to be able to defend themselves should the worst-case scenario play out. I wanted them to have the foresight to know what was coming. In order for them to do that, they needed the whole story.
I sat for almost two hours going through everything, including breaking it to them that their children would also have the gene. I told them about the prophecy and what could happen once it was fulfilled. I even explained about the possessions, and how someone could, potentially, come after them, but the hardest part of all was telling them why I was there. I barely made it through without crying.
“So this is goodbye?” Steven asked, his arm around Liana. She was crying silently, her red-rimmed eyes on me. I felt terrible that she was upset, but I was still trying to explain why I had to do this.
“It has to be. I can't put you in danger. It's not fair to you, Liana or the kids,” I said, biting back my own tears.