Know Me: A 'Me' Novel (Book 3) (A 'Me' Series)

by Jeri Williams

  Going into the bedroom, I closed and locked the door then grabbed my cell phone and went into the closet. Think what you want, but when the walls are thin as paper and you don’t want someone, namely Matt, to hear you complain about him, you do what you gotta do.

  “Ember, do you know how morning time it is?” Harley sleepy voice indicated that I woke her. I forgot that Deklan works at a bar, and she usually waits up for him so they can catch up which is just code for have hot monkey sex so they are usually still very much asleep at 11:00 am.

  “I know, I know, and I’m sorry to call so early-ish, but I need to some advice,” I plead.

  “Give me a minute.” I heard her shuffling around then she mumbled something to Deklan before she came back on the line.

  “Okay, what’s up?” she asked, sounding a little more awake.

  “Was he mad?” I asked nervously. You didn’t want someone like Deklan Kane pissed at you. He tolerated me at most because of Harley, but he still hated me; why poke the lion?

  “He’s always grouchy if he doesn’t get enough sleep. He’ll be fine. What’s up?”

  “Well, I need advice,” I said again, why I’m not sure, I just felt the need to stress that I was coming to her with this.

  “Advice? Ember, I don’t know if you are aware, but I don’t know shit. I can’t give you advice on anything.” She started to object, but I cut her off and just dived into it.

  “So I went out with Mika to Taste. Matt was there and we kinda went to third and half base in the bathroom. After Mika ditched me, he gave me a ride home and he basically told me he made a mistake and wants me back, which I refused. He showed up in my bed this morning, and I woke up just two seconds shy of him sexing me senseless. Now he says he’s moving back in and we will be a we again.” Holy shit, saying all that out loud was…wow. This was like one of those romance novels Harley always read.

  “Wait, back up. You did what in the bathroom?” Harley asked, and I knew even though I glossed over that part on purpose that would be the only thing she zeroed in on.

  “It doesn’t matter, what matters is that he’s here. I want him gone and he’s here,” I stressed.

  “Oh no,” she laughed. “It matters. You let him back in, didn’t you?” she accused.

  “What? No, he has a key,” I said, confused.

  “Not in the apartment; last night in the bathroom, you let him back in your heart.”

  “He never left ,” I said dejectedly because what I told him in the kitchen was true. I was still in love with him and would be for a long time, but I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be around him after what he did.

  “Damn, Em,” Harley sighed. It wasn’t a good sign; it meant, like me, she had no idea.

  “I’m strong enough to admit that if this were me, I’d be weak enough to let Deklan back in anytime he wanted because he will always be the greatest love of my life. But you, you’re not me; you have options and decisions.”

  “Harley…”

  “No, Em, I’m not putting myself down or anything, but let’s face it, me and Deklan are just shy of being fucked up enough to be perfect for each other. You and Matt, well you guys have options.”

  I knew what she was saying, even if I didn’t like it. Broken people gravitate toward broken people, and that’s why she and Deklan fit so well together. But Matt and I, while we didn’t have issues as bad as Harley and Deklan, we still had our issues. Did they make us perfect for each other?

  “I guess.”

  “You love him, and yeah, he did a really messed up thing, but picture yourself in three months, or three years.”

  “Okay.” I had no idea where she was going with this, but I’d bite. I pictured what my life would be like in three years, and I saw a gray house with a huge front yard and white picket fence with me sitting on the porch drinking lemonade and rubbing my very pregnant belly . Sigh

  “Is Matt there with you?” Harley broke through my thoughts, and dammit, that sneaky bitch.

  “There’s your answer,” she said when I didn’t replay,

  “And you said you didn’t know shit,” I joked because that trip into the future scared me for more reasons than I cared to think about.

  “Yeah, well…I’m going back to sleep, call me later, yeah?” We said our good byes, and before I knew it, I scrolled through my phone and called Mika. Why not get a second opinion?

  “What?” I was greeted with a very sleepy, very mean male voice. Did no one get up before noon anymore?

  “Hey Spence, is Mika around?” I was still a little leery of him after what I witnessed last night. I knew their relationship was purposely rocky (to each his own), but last night was something totally different.

  Spence grunted something, and then two seconds later an equally tired sounding Mika came on the line.

  “Lo?” Mika sounded less awake then Spence.

  “Hey, I need to talk to you wake up.” When she only grunted, I went for the kill. “You owe me after leaving me like that last night; I could have been kidnapped.”

  “Doubt it,” she replied, but she did sound more awake now. When I didn’t hear any rustling like I had with Harley, I asked her if she could go someplace where Spence couldn’t overhear.

  “No can do babe, he’s wrapped up in me.”

  “So just untangle yourself.”

  “No, you don’t get it, he’s wrapped up in me.” Ummm….

  Oh, well shit. And also wow, people actually slept like that? Resigning myself to the fact that whatever Spence overheard he was more than likely to tell Matt, I gave Mika the same rundown I gave Harley.

  “You dirty bitch. You got naughty in the bathroom?” she accused.

  Why was everyone so focused on that? They were totally missing the gravity of the situation here.

  “Mika…” I exhaled, tired all of a sudden.

  “All right, all right. I see your dilemma, and if it were me, I’d make his ass pay.” I wasn’t a vindictive, petty person, but why did the idea of getting back at Matt appeal to me so much? I mean that’s what girls did after someone hurt them right ? And no matter how much someone tells you not all girls are like that, it’s a lie, because every female had a little pit of pettiness ingrained in them at birth, and it was predestined for it to come out at some point, why not now?

  “Pay how?” I asked, although knowing Mika and how she proudly held the crown for ‘Pettiest Person Ever’, I already knew.

  “Meet me at Kaffe Hut in 20 minutes, and I’ll…aaah, shit, Spence…” Her voice sounded breathy. “On second thought, give me 40 minutes. Spence…” She purred, actually purred before the line went dead. Only Mika could freaking purr and not sound stupid.

  I suddenly hoped that Spence was quicker than 40 minutes as all the epic possibilities for making Matt pay ran through my head.

  Matt

  I wandered around the apartment after Ember bounced out, not bothering to look at me, to go god knows where. My guess, she went to meet up with Mika to cook up ways to make me leave. Not happening, but I’d let her have her fun. My jaw ticked in irritation because I really wanted to just drag her back here and not let her leave until she came to her senses about us. All men were cave men to a certain extent, after all.

  I smirked as Apocalyptica’s I Don’t Care rang from the coffee table where I had thrown my phone earlier. I had changed that to my father’s ringtone right around the same time I had quit my job and started living like a frat boy.

  When you are known for walking the straight and narrow and suddenly stop, it kind of sends a message: Fuck you. Royce Kane was not the type of man you said that to, son or no son. So for the third time this hour, I let the call ring to voicemail, eventually he would get the idea.

  I wasn’t avoiding him; I just didn’t feel like getting into what I knew would be a shit long discussion about tough love or some bullshit he w
as bound to make up to justify what he had done to Dek all those years. God, what a naïve little shit I was. Yeah, I was younger than my brother but I should have known. You always knew when something was off and I should have known; I just drank the Kool-Aid when my father gave me the cup and didn’t think to ask any questions. Why should I? So naïve.

  I needed a stress reliever and since sex was off the plate, for now, I went to the next best thing: video games. I went to the console only to come up short when I remembered all my shit was in the guest bedroom. In a closest.

  Underneath other shit.

  Message received loud and clear; she wanted all trace of me gone. Only my sick brain couldn’t believe that because he had still been here, in the apartment they both shared. And while I had told her I knew she didn’t have anywhere else to go, I wasn’t stupid. Ember had friends, or people who would have helped her out simply because of who her father was, same as me. She could have also gone to her father at any time if she ran out of options. Even though her dad was an ass sometimes, he’d do anything for his daughter.

  This hiding me shit wasn’t going to work. I refused to live in the guest room of an apartment that is mine, with a woman who is also mine. I began moving my shit back to where it all belonged, including my clothes back in the dressers in the master bedroom when my phone sounded again with the Royce’s ringtone.

  “Yeah?” I replied after picking it up, already irritated.

  “Excuse me?” I could almost see his raised eyebrow, questioning my tone. That irritated me more.

  “Can we make this quick, I’m busy.”

  “Matthew…” He said my name as if he were calling on all the patience in the world. “I really wish you’d let go of this adopted attitude of your brother’s and come to your senses. I’ve let you have your time, but now it’s time to get back to work.”

  “No.” I put more emphasis on the word, wanting him to hear the force behind it. The finality of it.

  “No?” He scoffed like I was joking. If this were someone else’s life I was hearing about, I’d scoff too. I’d gone from wearing the best suits, attending meeting after meeting and making countless executive decisions, to throwing away an empire, a birthright, and partying and drinking every night.

  Yeah, it was pretty laughable; what idiot in his right mind would give that up?

  “Matthew, you have responsibilities, duties to fulfill. Stop acting like Deklan before…”

  “Before what? You beat the shit out of me and make it look like an accident?” I spat, effectively stunning him silence.

  “Son, I…” he stammered.

  “Save it,” I said before hitting the end button. I know there two sides to every story and blah shit blah, but there was no rationalizing what he did. For my mom’s sake, I will hear him out, give him a chance to explain, to apologize, but I couldn’t focus on him right now. All my energy needed to be spent of correcting this big as shit wrong I’ve done to Ember and me. Right now, she is what’s most important and if, no when, I get her back, I’ll make sure that she stays the most important. Forever.

  Chapter Ten

  Ember

  Kaffe Hut is this neat little trendy Norwegian coffee house that Matt, Spence, Mika, and I all used to frequent. Did you know the Norwegians were like the shit at making coffee? Neither did I until we stumbled upon this place one morning after pulling an all-nighter out with Mika and Spence. They open crazy early and close super late, making it seem almost 24 hours, and I have taken advantage of this far more than I cared to admit. The only coffee I drink now, it’s like the best coffee in the world and one of the strongest coffees I have ever had. It puts that other well-known coffee franchise to shame.

  “Hey Spark! You want your usual?” Asta, the owner’s daughter, greeted me when I walked into the shop an hour later with the nickname only she thought was the funniest thing ever. Me, not so much. She started calling me that around the same time I started coming in more than twice a week, and I never had the heart to correct the preteen. She was sweet and reminded me of what having a younger sister might be like.

  “Sure thing, thanks!” I waded through the few people who were seated at various tables and barstools and found a seat in the back, good for plotting.

  “You haven’t been in here in a really long time. You cheating on us?” Asta sat down a mug of my usual egg coffee and gave me the evil eye. Unlike her parents, Asta was totally Americanized and played the part of preteen very well, from her purple and black braced teeth to her funky color knee socks. And in this case, annoyingly nosey like a freaking preteen.

  “No, I just got busy. Sorry.” I couldn’t just blurt out the truth, besides who says I have to tell her anything. She’s 12!

  “Where’s your hottie?” See, nosey.

  “Asta…” I started to say, but just then, Mika, bless her late ass, plopped down in the chair across from me.

  “Double espresso kid, stat.” she playfully flicked Asta’s braid and was given the finger. They had a love hate relationship; it’s a work in progress.

  “You’re late,” I accused as I sipped my coffee. Egg coffee isn’t as gross as it sounds, and I’m glad I found out what it was made of, raw eggs, coffee grounds and water after I fell in love with it. To be honest, if I hadn’t been half asleep when I first ordered it, thinking I’d ordered eggnog-flavored coffee, I would have never stumbled upon it.

  “Sorry, Spence got a little carried away.” She winked and didn’t look at all sorry, that dirty hooker. I swear their sexual life was the stuff of T.V…or really good porn .

  “Whatever,” I grumbled halfheartedly.

  “Don’t even act like you don’t love the D as much as I do, if not more,” she chastised. I shrugged because, she was right.

  “Okay.” I rubbed my hands together conspiratorially. “Teach me to be petty.”

  “Chill, let me get some juice in my veins first.” And almost as if on cue, Asta plopped down her cute little cup of dark roasted goodness, a little too hard since some it sloshed on the sides.

  “For that I’m deducting ten cents off my bill,” Mika said.

  “Try it and I’ll have you banned. In fact, I’ll just have you banned period.” I swear the sun glinted evilly off her braces when she smiled.

  “Asta, be nice.” I literally played referee every time I came here with Mika. Asta did her usual eye roll and stomped back to the counter, while Mika just laughed.

  “Anyway,” she said after sniffed her espresso then downed it and slammed the cup on the table expertly, like it was a shot.

  “How far are you going to take this?” she asked, serious all of sudden.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean how far do you want to push him? Do you just want to piss him off, ruffle his feathers, make him jealous, see what he’s missing, or give him the biggest case of blue balls he has ever had?”

  Wow, my options had options, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I wanted it all, but could I do all of it? Mika would know.

  “Girl, if it were me and Spence tried my heart that way,” she said after I asked her opinion, “I’d do that and more. But be careful. I know how far to push Spence just enough so he won’t commit murder, know Matt’s limits E, because if you don’t, this game could get very real.”

  Well what a way to put a black cloud of foreboding over the plan, Mika, sheesh!

  I didn’t know how far to push Matt, because we’d never played these game, never had the need to, and it had me second-guessing my decision. Matt had a temper; it seemed to run in the family. On top of that, he didn’t back down, like ever. Was I prepared for this? For him?

  “Okay, okay,” I interrupted Mika humming the Jeopardy them song. “Let’s do it…all.”

  An almost identical evil smile to the one Asta sported not more than ten minutes ago was now spread across Mika’s beautiful one.

/>   “See E, this is why I fuck with you; you do epic shit. Welcome to the petty side.” She smiled, and I swear if she’d had a mustache, she’d be twirling it right now.

  Guess there is no turning back now, huh?

  Several hours later I stood in the dressing room of some little boutique that sold retro pinup style lingerie that Mika found in Atlanta.

  “I can’t do this,” I whined. Totally whined and you would too if you had to wear what Mika wanted me to wear or flaunt or walk around in with or without my ‘sexy’ clothes, which I’m sure was the next stop. Apparently, you had to feel sexy in order to convey sexiness, and to feel sexy you needed snug fitting corsets that fit so tight, it shifted my internal organs every time I moved. Pretty sure that’s not the way to feel sexy.

  “E, get another phrase. You’ve been yelling that one for the last three outfits; grow some balls. Let me see this one at least.” After I said no to the corset debacle, she had me try on a lace baby-doll top that came with matching underwear. You didn’t try on underwear from a store and if you did, ewww gross. It was fine, but it reminded me that all my endowments had been put into my ass, and I didn’t quit fill out the top, which let me feeling inadequate. Mika reluctantly got me another option when I refused to come out.

  “E, hurry up. Don’t think I won’t crawl on this floor and go under the door.” She would.

  I took one more look at third third, and in my opinion, best option for me, in the full-length mirror before easing out shyly. The black bullet bra with lace trimmings matched the black lace panties it came with and the garter belt and stockings gave it that sex appeal. You had the option of getting what I called normal panties or a thong to go with the look. Either way my ass would swallow both, which was why I preferred boy shorts .

  “Nice.” Mika swiveled her finger in a turnaround motion, and I looked around quickly to make sure no one was watching and did a quick full turn.