Stars.
His ministrations slowed, and he removed his thumb, rubbing lazy circles on my ass, my cue to let him up. Only I really couldn’t move at the moment. I heard him chuckle before shifting my leg and sliding out from under me. Still unable to move, I turned my head to see him standing there in all his naked glory. When had he gotten undressed ?
“When did you get undressed?” I asked him stupidly. I was trying to regain my dignity; it wasn’t working.
He leaned over and kissed my shoulder before replying. “I came in here naked Rabbit.”
Huh, guess I hadn’t noticed, but to be fair I was kind of focused on other things. He walked to the bathroom, and two seconds later I heard the shower running. It was only then that I was able to slump down onto my belly and bury my face in the sheets. Reality and reason set in. Why had I let that happen? Now I had start all over again. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go!
I heard the shower stop and turned my head just in time to see Matt, still naked, walk toward my once locked door.
“This changes nothing Matthew. We are still over, and I still want you gone.” I hardened my voice. This couldn’t change anything. I still meant what I’d said; I wanted him, no needed him, to realize I was serious about him leaving me alone; for my mind, body, and heart’s sake, I hoped he listened and took what just happened between us for what it was: goodbye.
“Wrong baby, it changes everything,” he said ominously before walking out and closing the door softly behind him.
Piss my life.
Chapter Twelve
Ember
As I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t help but notice the tiredness in my eyes. You’d think that after what happened last night I’d have fallen asleep like a baby with a bottle, but who’d be able to sleep after Matt’s little declaration? I stayed up half the night replaying all the awesomeness that happened before that and the other half of the night obsessing over what his words meant. What they made me feel, what he made me feel, and if he thought last night meant more. And then random shit started creeping in my head, like if the common cold has no cure, then why do people take medicine for it ? And why is hippo milk pink? Who even knew that was a thing? And why, if nowhere in humpty dumpty does it say that he’s an egg, is he’s depicted in like, everything, as a freaking egg?
I couldn’t shut my brain off, any and everything that popped in there got analyzed and reanalyzed a million times until light started peeking in through the blinds. I gave up on trying to get any sleep, crawled out of bed, and took a shower. I had work in a few hours and after so little sleep I probably wouldn’t be able to people without my Kaffe Hut addiction, but if that meant running into Matt, then I’d have to forego it and wait him out . I didn’t think I could face him after last night. I wanted to act like nothing had ever happened, but that was stupid adolescent thinking. So, I tried for the more mature route; avoidance.
I eased out of the bedroom, careful not to make too much noise while closing the bedroom door. I looked to the left and noticed the guest bedroom door still closed and exhaled the breath I had been holding since stepping out into the hall. I crept into the kitchen and came up short when I saw Matt standing there, in just his boxers, looking all kinds of yummy. I was hit with an image of last night and had to press my legs together and cement my feet to the floor to keep myself from running over and climbing him like a tree.
“Matt…Mathew.” I thought I was going to faint when he flexed his pectorals.
“Babe.” He smirked, the asshole.
“What are you doing here?”
“I live here.” He walked over to the pantry, pulled out the peanut butter and then the bread, and plopped a piece in the toaster. All mundane morning routine type of stuff. Like he lived here.
“No, you don’t.” I watched his back muscles flex as he busied himself with whatever he was doing. Admittedly I was shamefully admiring his back and imagining my nails raking down it as he moved deep inside of me.
“I do Rabbit. Should I give you a reminder of who made you come last night?” That snapped me out of my lustful daydream. Although his back was to me, there was no mistaking the possessiveness of his voice or its insinuation. Guess I got my answer if last night meant more to him than I thought.
“Last night was fun Matthew, but it won’t happen again,” I stated firmly.
Finally done, he turned and fully faced me. I expected to see a pissed off Matt facing me; he rarely liked to be told he wasn’t doing something. Instead, when I looked in his face, all I saw was…remorse? That couldn’t be right. Sure, he’d told me he was sorry, but I honestly thought he just told me that because that’s what he thought I wanted to hear. Could he be truly sorry? Instead of answering me, he simply placed the peanut butter toast, cut into three horizontal slices, in front of me and walked out.
I stared at the plate and got stupidly emotional that he’d remembered that peanut butter toast was my morning ritual. Of course, he would remember. Eight and a half weeks wasn’t long enough to erase 3 years of knowledge about a person. Why was he doing this? Couldn’t he have just been cocky and bragged that he’d gotten into my panties last night so I could hate him more? Why be this nice guy that had me suddenly questioning what last night really meant?
As much as it pained me, I left the peanut better toast there and bolted for the front door. Last night had been a huge mistake in the history of mistakes; what happened between us clearly meant more to him than even I’d thought . But, if I was being honest with myself, even if I didn’t want to be, last night had meant more to me too.
Matt
I knew she would try and avoid me. So I made damn sure to be up at the ass crack of dawn. I was just about to say fuck it and wait for her on the couch when I heard the bedroom door creak open.
Her startled eyes looked tired, and I almost felt guilty because I knew she had tossed and turned all night over what I’d said, over what we’d done. But when that looked turned from tired to heated in a nanosecond, I couldn’t give a shit about guilt.
Last night was…no words. Tasting her again after so long had almost been my breaking point. After she punched me in the guts with her words, I stewed in my thoughts long enough to ignore a call from Royce, again, and replay the words Deklan said.
She’s yours. Stop being a pussy and take what’s yours.
My brother could learn a thing or two about tact, but he wasn’t wrong. Ember had always been mine, would always be and the sooner she accepted that, the better for both of us. She was pissed at me with good reason, but she wanted me; she was still as much in love with me as I was with her. It was that thought that got me moving two hours after she’d closed the bedroom door last night and easing over to her door. I smirked when I tried the knob and met resistance. I knew she’d lock it; it was classic dangle the prey in front of the predator and then hide technique. I could still smell her on me. It almost wasn’t fair; she needed to watch more Animal Planet because the predator always got its prey.
I knew Ember would have let me do anything to her last night, but for once, I thought with my head and not my dick. I knew if I did what my cock demanded, it would only mess things up more than they already were. I wanted Ember to know she was more than this, more than a quickie. Even though I was willing giving myself a case of blue balls, I left her sated and loose and slinked off to the damn guest room for a night of restless sleep.
My phone snapped me out of my daydream, bringing me back to the here and now.
I looked at my phone as my dad’s corporate line flashed across the screen, then glanced at the time before I slid it to answer. Guess this was where I got my persistence from, my father didn’t give up.
“If this is about work, I thought I made it clear I wasn’t coming in. Ever.” I had made that clear when I told him in no uncertain terms that I quit. I didn’t really need to work anyway , with what my mother had left
Dek and me in her will on top of what I already had in the bank from working for my father, I wasn’t worried about income.
“Uhh, Mr. Kane? This is Linda, your father’s Eastern Regional Chief Operator .
Well this couldn’t be good. “I know who you are Linda.” I had only talked to her once a month for the past five years and the fact that she was calling me meant one of two things. Royce told her to defer to me in a last ditch effort to get my ass back into the business. Or Royce was MIA.
“Yes, of course. I’m calling because, well your father was supposed to be on a 7:00 am conference call and he didn’t dial in and that’s unlike him. I’ve tried calling both his office and personal phones, and I’ve gotten nothing.”
I said nothing.
“I was wondering if you’ve heard from him?” I should feel as concerned as she sounded, but I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore. It was true that in all his years Royce Kane had never missed a meeting, by phone or in person, but it was also true that for twenty-odd years, I hadn’t known shit about the person my father really was.
“Mr. Kane? Are you still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” I didn’t want this responsibility. Was this karma or some shit? For being a shitty brother? Or for hurting someone as pure as Ember?
“I’ll check in with him,” I grated out and ended the call before she could give me her misplaced gratitude. I scrubbed my hand down my face and was immediately assaulted by Ember’s scent. It lingered every on me, hardening my cock instantly. I wanted to lay here and beat my dick to the memory of Ember coming on my face, but I had to be the dutiful son once again.
“Shit.” I sighed and scrolled through my phone. If I had to do this, I was taking someone with me. It wasn’t that I needed back up; I needed someone there to talk me down.
“What?” Spence said, and I chuckled. I would never admit to him or anyone else that the reason I was drawn to him was because he reminded me of my brother. Even at a young age, Spencer was an asshole and just like Deklan was a little rough around the edges. At first, we were inseparable, chasing lizards and shit on the school playground. As we got older, Royce decided Spence was a bad influence and forbade me to hang around him. Spence hadn’t come from money like I had, and my father thought he was trash. God forbid a Kane to hang around trash. I obeyed for the most part. Spence took it in stride and didn’t get in my face about it, but when shit went down with Deklan and me, Spence was there and ever since then we’d been glue.
“Push Mika off your shit and ride with me; I’ll pick you up in 20.” I disconnected and headed for the shower, not giving him a chance to object, not that he would. He was always down to get into some shit and at the moment, so was I.
Chapter thirteen
Ember
“So, did he break the door or pick the lock?” Mika pounced on me as soon as I walked into the breakroom. After stopping at Kaffe Hut and spending way too much time staring into space and dodging Asta’s insistent barrage of questions, it had been a busy morning. After going into work, early mind you, and being swamped, I finally had down time to take a break.
“What?” I asked distractedly. In truth, I just didn’t want to talk about how embarrassingly quick I’d given in to Matt.
“You little slut, I knew you’d give in.” She sounded…I don’t know pleased.
“Mika…”
“Spence broke the hinges off one time. Another time he punched a hole through the door… through the door. That was a fun time… and one time…”
“Wait, you knew he’d get in?” I asked appalled. I mean I’d figured he’d bang on the door and then give up once he found it locked. Boy, was I wrong.
“Girl, please. You can’t cock tease a man like Matt with an ass like that.” She pointed at me with a knowing eye. “And not expect him to break shit to get to you,” she finished on a proud smile. That little bitch.
“You set me up.” No wonder she’d insisted I wear the thong!
“Yup.” She didn’t even try and deny it. I was, I was…I was at a loss; I didn’t know if I should be thanking her or be pissed at her. I went with the third option: shock.
“Mika! How could you? I thought you were down for the cause ? Now it’s going to be harder for me to let him go.” I wasn’t sure which of us I was yelling at..
“Please, you loved it and you know it. A simple ‘thank you Mika for reading my mind and giving me what I’m too chicken shit to ask for’ would be fine.”
She was so serious.
“Mika, I can’t thank you; what happened between us last night should have never happened.”
“What did happen and how did he get in?” She had such a one-track mind.
I was saved from replying when Seth, the café’s shift supervisor poked his head and pointed behind him.
“Hey Ember, your mom is asking for you.”
“Okay Seth, than…wait, did you say my mother?” In all the years I have worked at BookWormz, my mother had never, not once, come to visit me. In fact, she had been against it, saying it would open the door for crazies and stalkers because of my father to hold down such a common job. At first it was a little rough, but people got used to me, the mayor’s daughter, working at a café bookstore. Lilly Harrington might be all about being humble on camera, but in reality she couldn’t care less. She thought all of it was beneath her; the fact that she was here, in my café, said something. Something big.
My mother never did anything half way. If, god forbid, her personal assistant, Paula, didn’t come in or was unavailable and she had to run to the corner store, she’d have to be impeccably dressed before stepping one foot outside. And I got it, I did. We are seen as this perfect family, but my mother just looked plain ridiculous standing in the small café in a power pants suit, hair perfectly coifed, and nails sharp and shiny. She looked like the perfect politician’s wife or the head of a beauty pageant circuit. Either way, she looked out of place.
“Hi, Mom,” I said as I walked hesitantly over to her. I was aware of every eye suddenly trained our way and so was she.
“Darling, how are you?” She leaned in and gave me cheek kiss. “Follow me out, we need to talk.” Her whisper was so perfectly done from years of practice that to the naked untrained eye she had just given me the most loving kiss and caress. I knew the drill, so I returned the kiss with a nod acknowledging that I’d heard her.
“I just stopped in for a book on gardening and thought I’d check in.” She patted a bag hanging from her side, which no doubt did contain a book on gardening, just not one she’d use. It would go to Paula, who loved to garden. At least it wouldn’t go to waste.
“My break is almost over. Let me walk you out,” I said, giving myself an escape route that I was sure I was going to need later. I didn’t miss the look of disappointment in her eye as she nodded and followed me out.
Have you ever had that one person who can say one thing, give you one look, and BOOM, your whole day just goes to shit? My mother was my shit person. I loved her, but she was the only person who could make me feel inadequate in every aspect of my life AND then make me feel as if it’s my fault for being inadequate! Deep down I knew why she was here. My mother was as transparent as ‘Wormz’s tall pane glass windows with my father and me. Whenever she was unhappy with us, she had no trouble hiding her displeasure.
I walked out to my mother’s town car with a feeling of dread weighing deep in the pit of my stomach. The only thing my mother did for herself was drive her own car. A cue she took from my father so they could both hide their doings from each other as well as the public.
I slid into the interior of the car, which was cool even though it was humid outside. It was an indication that my mother hadn’t been in the store long before coming for me. Why was it that the first thing to sweat in situations like this was your armpits? I could practically feel my shirt soak up the nervousness and stick to my
skin. I was confident in my deodorant, but it still made me self-consciously adjust my shirt while I waited for my mom to turn on the car.
“Well?” she asked expectantly once the doors were firmly shut and locked. She had this thing about siting in unlocked cars. I watched her turn the air to high and fiddle with the radio knob, turning down her talk radio channel, all the while preparing myself for this.
“Well?” I didn’t really know what to say. My gut told me this was about Matt and the rumors mill had finally found her. Or if she knew about my father’s secret life?
“Oh, for heaven’s sake Ember, don’t play dumb. When were you going to inform your father and I about your situation?”
“What situation?”
“Ember, did you ever think how this would look for your father and me?” she chastised, and I wanted to tell her I didn’t give a shit, but the years of being the perfect daughter prevented me from doing that.
“Whatever you did to lose a man like Matthew Kane I have no idea, but you need to make amends. Do whatever it takes to get back in his and his father’s good graces.”
“Why do you assume it’s something I did?”
“Did you dump him?” she asked rhetorically. When I only turned away from her, refusing to reply, she went on. In my head I was totally giving her the finger.
“Really Ember, have I taught you nothing all these years? Keep your spouse happy whatever it takes, but keep your dignity. Really, did you have to make up so publicly? In the bathroom of that…that, place?”
Record scratch.
Know Me: A 'Me' Novel (Book 3) (A 'Me' Series) Page 9