by Helen Gray
A tear trickled down Mom’s cheek. She made a quick swipe at it. Then she took a deep breath. “We’re losing everything.”
Callie wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “How? Why? Explain it to me. Riley said business isn’t good. What else is wrong?”
Mom took a deep, shuddering breath and began to speak in a tremulous voice. “A few months before the crash, Arlie borrowed money against the house to buy the tractor and replace the old wood-powered steam engine with the new gas-powered one. Business wuz good when he did it, and we had no trouble making the payments. But we’ve missed the past two, and the bank is going to foreclose on us. I don’t know what we’re going to do.”
Callie felt as if she had been punched in the gut. She searched for words, for strength. “You’ve always taught us to seek help from God when we’re in trouble. I’ll admit I’m a little shaky in that area right now. But I think it’s time to talk to Him.”
Mom’s shoulders shuddered, and she nodded. They clasped hands and bowed their heads.
“Lord, we’re in trouble and need Your help here. Please show us what to do.”
When Callie stopped, Mom cleared her throat and began to pray. “Father, Callie’s right. We have to trust You. We gotta have a place to live, and we need Your help to not lose it. Please help us. Amen.”
Mom went back to her kitchen cleanup, but Callie went to the bedroom and began to search for guidance in her Bible. The preacher always said that when all they had was God, they had all they needed. She needed more reassurance, though.
Luke 13:7 reminded her that nothing is impossible with God. Then she moved farther over in the book of Luke and began to read the parable about the rich man who would pull down his barns and build bigger ones to store his goods, and was called a fool for laying up earthly treasures rather than being rich with God. She read on.
And seek not what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
She put the Bible down and spent some time on her knees. Then she went back to work, resolved to trust God, whatever He had in store for them.
Chapter 13
On Saturday afternoon Trace answered a knock at his door and found Riley Blake standing there, twisting a battered hat in his hands.
“We took a load of lumber out to a piece of property Callie says you own.”
Trace’s jaw dropped at the words. He stared at Riley’s thick black hair that could use a trim, still amazed at how much he resembled Callie. “Why did you do that?”
“Callie wanted to do something for you.”
Now he understood. “Your sister is one stubborn gal,” he said in a huff. “What does she expect me to do with it?”
A boyish grin tugged at Riley’s mouth, transforming him. “She says you once planned to build a house out there, and she thought it could give you a bit of a start if you ever decide to take up your plans again.”
“She’s determined to replace that tire, isn’t she?” He shook his head in exasperation.
God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
These people humbled him. They had little, yet they shared what they did have. Lord, forgive me for my prideful and selfish ways.
Riley nodded and grinned, and then he became serious. “She’s a good girl. And I wouldn’t want to see anyone ever hurt her or mistreat her.”
A threat? Not exactly. But a warning from a protective older brother. Trace got it.
“She is a good girl,” he agreed.
“She tries to take care of everyone,” Riley continued. “Someday I hope someone takes care of her.” He turned to go.
“If someone wanted to take care of her, would he need your approval?”
Riley turned back. “He might.” But his mouth held a suspicious quirk. He turned again and walked away.
As he watched Riley go to the street and climb onto the horse he had left tethered to the gatepost, Trace’s mind spun. He suspected he had just been given the go-ahead to pursue Callie, and he thought he might have a glimmer of how to go about it. She may have refused to go out with him, but she couldn’t turn down a request to help someone in need.
* * *
All day Monday Callie wrestled with what to do. Her parents needed money desperately, and they needed it now. Oblivious to the chilly weather and overcast sky, she came to a decision—and gave up her dreams.
Tuesday morning she helped Mom and Clem clean up from breakfast. Then she changed into her best dress, a navy blue one with a white collar and cuffs, pinned her hair back into a bun and put on her coat. She picked up her purse, which contained her savings that she had removed from its hiding place before going to bed the night before, and left the house.
All the way to town she prayed, sometimes silently, sometimes aloud. “Lord, direct my path. Help us all.”
When she got to town, she marched up the street and into the bank. A teller greeted her with a smile. “May I help you?”
“I need to talk to the person in charge of loans.”
“Oh, you want to take out a loan?”
“No, I want to make payments on one.”
* * *
Thirty minutes later she exited the bank and drew a deep breath. She no longer had any savings, but her parents’ two missed payments were no more. She considered going into the drugstore for a cold drink, but decided against it. She only had two dollars left to her name.
The trek home took longer. What next, Lord?
Callie could see only one option. She had to leave again, go where she could find work.
That evening after supper she joined Riley at the woodpile again. The temperature had dropped below forty, and a breeze whispering through the trees made the evening feel a bit eerie.
They worked in silence until it got too dark to see.
“You act guilty,” Riley said as she picked up the last of the wood.
Callie couldn’t see his face, but she could hear a smile in his voice. She hated to spoil his good mood. “I asked Mom point-blank about their finances. She admitted they’ve missed the past two payments on the loan they took out over a year ago.”
He put the wood down and sat on an upturned chunk of log. “Sit and tell me about it.”
Callie sat, but she hesitated to speak.
“I know you went to town this morning. What did you do?”
“I robbed the bank and made those payments,” she said in a rush.
He chuckled. “Okay, the law hasn’t come for you. So how did you pay them?”
She explained about her savings.
He ran a hand over his face. “Callie, I know how much of a sacrifice that was for you, how much you’ve wanted for so long to buy a car. But I’m sure they appreciate it.” He paused. “If they know. Do they?”
She shook her head, and then realized he probably couldn’t see the motion. “No, and you can’t tell them. They’ll find out from the bank soon enough.”
He went silent for long seconds. Then his voice penetrated the darkness. “You’re getting ready to take off, aren’t you?”
“I don’t see any choice. That only catches up what they missed. Another payment will be due before long. I have to find a paying job.”
He heaved an audible sigh. “Will you at least try to find something around here first? Having you back home makes the folks happy. And they’ll be hurt if you leave again just so you can help them.”
She did a mental check of places to look for a job. “I’ll go back to town tomorrow.”
“Good. Let’s go i
n and have a cup of hot coffee. I’m chilled.”
* * *
Wednesday morning after breakfast Callie set out for town again.
Once inside the city limits she worked her way up one side of the street and down the other, entering each business and asking whether they needed to hire any help. The answers were worded differently, but the result was the same at each. No one needed, or could afford, help. Some were releasing workers they already had.
Time ran out and businesses began to close before she could get to those on the outskirts of town, so she went home.
Callie didn’t sleep that night. She got up Thursday morning and went back to town. No one needed help—none that they had to pay for, anyhow.
“Whoa.” The sight of Trace knocked the wind from her as he gripped her arms to steady her. “Where are you headed in such a hurry? And all dressed up, too.” He ran an appreciative eye over her.
Why did she have to lose her calm every time she saw him? She backed away. “I was thinking and not watching where I was going.”
“You real busy, or just out for a stroll?”
Callie didn’t want to explain and end up blabbing her personal problems to him. “Running errands.” Well, she was.
He released her arms and flicked a stray strand of hair back from her face. “So am I. Would you have time to help me with one?”
She tipped her head and frowned up at him. “What kind of errand?”
“First, let me thank you for the lumber. It wasn’t necessary, but it’s appreciated. I guess I can understand your need to do something.”
“It isn’t enough to do a lot, but it could make a start on something of your own.”
He gave a crooked grin. “Like a house? Are you saying you think I should build one?”
She shrugged. “I can’t imagine you being happy without your own place indefinitely.”
“You’re probably right. I’ve—”
“What’s the errand you need help with?” she cut him off, uncomfortable at the images floating through her mind. Trace in a home of his own—with a family.
“Your lumber reminded me that Joanna’s parents aren’t well and can’t keep enough wood cut for their needs. I have a load piled behind the dealership that I planned to take to them. Do you have time to run out there with me?”
She pierced him with narrowed eyes. Doubts raged inside her. “You don’t need my help.”
“Yes, I do,” he insisted. “I have to load it in my truck, and I’m sure Mrs. Michaels would love a chance to visit with another woman.”
Her eyes brightened with understanding. “Ah, so what you really want is company for her. All right. I’ve accomplished all I can this afternoon.”
Which was absolutely nothing.
He took her hand. “Let’s go.”
Callie knew as soon as they set out that she had made a mistake. She couldn’t be around Trace and not have dreams start forming in her head, dreams that could never be. Especially now.
It didn’t take long to load the wood. Callie refused Trace’s invitation to drive the newly repaired truck and eased into the passenger seat.
She stiffened her shoulders in resolve. Trace was everything she could want in a man—if she were free to consider a relationship with one. But she had a family in need. Courting was the last thing on her mind. She had to find a paying job.
They found the Michaels house quiet and deserted. So they stacked the wood neatly against the fence. “I’ll take you home,” he said when they finished.
Callie brushed her hands. “That’s not necessary. My feet are in perfect working order.”
He cocked his head at an angle. “I know that. Does it never occur to you that I might want to spend time with you?”
It did. That’s what scared her. She couldn’t let herself love him and walk away. Yet she was too spineless to turn down a ride home. It would save her time and energy, she justified to herself as she got back in the truck.
Trace started the engine. To Callie’s surprise, he drove in silence. Just before getting to her house, Trace turned left into the now-deserted school yard. She frowned over at him in question.
He didn’t speak until he had parked next to the school building and turned off the motor. He turned in the seat to face her. “Let’s chat.”
She scooted back against the door. “I don’t know anything to talk about.”
“Sure you do. Tell me what’s in that head of yours. Just tell me about yourself.”
“It’s boring stuff.”
“Not to me. I’m interested in everything about you.”
She was sure that those deep-set blue eyes could see right through her. He held her gaze, making her want to crawl across that seat and snuggle up into the curve of his arm, feel the warmth he could create in her.
The sight of leaves borne on the wind past them broke her line of thought. “Is this supposed to be a two-way flow of information?”
He shrugged. “If you’d like. I have no secrets.”
Of course, that didn’t mean that everyone in the community knew how his mind worked, what thoughts he harbored. Callie wished she did.
“Friends share their lives, their thoughts.”
He considered them friends. Just friends. Okay, she could push her deeper feelings aside and handle that. She drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Okay.”
He leaned back against the truck door. “Did you have a hard time when you were little?”
Hard time. He didn’t know the half of it. She squinted at him. “You know I did. We did.”
“Your family.”
She nodded and tried to keep from wiggling in the seat. “I’m the fifth of seven children of very poor parents. It’s a good thing I don’t require much.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad they didn’t stop having children after the fourth. Did you grow up right here?” He nodded at the house across the road.
She shook her head. “My folks lived in Oklahoma before I was born. When Dad lost his job they moved back to Missouri. He hired a driver to bring Mom and the kids in a wagon, and he followed to drive the stock. Mom was expecting me, and she went to her stepbrother’s to wait for Dad. I was born before he got here.”
“Come here.”
No. Don’t go into his arms.
Callie watched Trace’s hand pat the seat beside him.
And, like a moth to the flame, she scooted that way. When his arm curved around her shoulders and pulled her to him, she leaned into his chest, a buzz filtering through her brain.
He nestled her under his chin, nuzzled his face in her hair. “Go on with what you were saying.”
Callie felt so sheltered, warm and safe. With a sigh of surrender, she melted against him.
“Dad bought a sawmill, and we lived on Water Hollow where he cut timber for other people,” she continued falteringly. “Times were lean. I remember once when we didn’t have anything to eat until Dad got back from town. Riley and I ate salt and drank water to keep us from being so hungry. When Dad came in from the store, Mom warmed some grease and poured milk in it and made grease gravy and pancakes. It tasted wonderful to me.”
Trace didn’t say anything, but his arms constricted around her.
Neither of them spoke for long moments. His breath brushed against her hair. “Did things ever get better?”
Callie plucked at her dress. “We moved to Deer Lick soon after that. We lived in a two-story house near Deer Creek. The steam engine was run by wood, and one day a spark from it blew on top of the house and set it on fire. It burned to the ground. At first we lived in a house on the highway and walked a mile and a half. Then we moved closer and started coming to Deer Creek School. Later Dad bought that forty acres of land.”
She dipped her head to indicate across the road
. “He built our house, and we’ve lived there ever since. The best thing about it to me was that we finally got to attend school regularly.”
She stopped speaking. His pleasant male scent held her spellbound. It was different from the woodsy smells she associated with the men of her family, more tangy.
“If you could have anything you want, what would it be?”
Callie drew in a deep breath. “All I ever wanted for my family was to know we would have plenty of food to eat and be able to pay our bills. The only luxuries I’ve wanted for myself are a car...and a new dress that wasn’t a hand-me-down or homemade,” she added in a flash of honesty. “But those dreams have gotten farther away rather than closer.”
“You saw no choice but to find work and help your family right after high school.”
“No.” Just like she didn’t see a choice now.
“I’m glad you came back.” He paused. “Surely you know that I care for you.”
She drew back and placed a palm against his lips. “Please don’t.”
He gripped the hand and lowered it. “But why?”
She shook her head. “I have too many responsibilities to think about what it might mean.”
His look of perplexity turned to a frown. “Are you telling me what I think it sounds like?”
She uttered a harsh half laugh, half sob. “Only if it sounds like goodbye.”
He drew upright and removed his arm from around her. “Just like that? You’re telling me you have to take care of your family and can’t see me anymore?”
Callie had gone numb. She placed fingers over her lips to stop their quivering. Then she scooted to the passenger door. She looked back at him. “For what it’s worth, I care for you, too. But I have to do what I have to do.”
* * *
Cold that had nothing to do with the weather seeped through Trace as Callie opened the door and got out. He watched her cross the road and go inside her house. As the door closed, something closed inside him.
She had such simple dreams that they made him feel small for taking his life of comforts for granted. But she had shut him out. The thought of life without her made him ache. He had no choice, though. She had left him none. What could he do?