by Mikki Sadil
He sighed again. Dad is big on sighs. Sometimes I think that’s his way of being dramatic.
“But, you seem to already have made a decision to say nothing, so why change your mind now?”
I didn’t answer him because I remembered what else I wanted to tell him.
“Well, there’s something else, too. When I first met her, and Jaime told her my name, she got all white in the face like she was going to faint or something, and then the look on her face turned to…well, it looked like hatred. But we hadn’t even met before, so how could she hate me? And she’s acted like she hates me ever since. I don’t understand her at all.”
Dad was staring into space. He didn’t answer me and I thought maybe he hadn’t heard me until he frowned and looked at me. “What did you say Celine’s last name was?”
“Her last name is Carroll. But her dad’s real name is Cerrone. Why, Dad? What’s the matter, you look like something’s wrong.”
Dad cleared his throat and didn’t look at me. “Oh, it’s nothing, honey. It’s just…well, now that I think about it, I may have met her father. In court, that is. But don’t worry about it, I’m sure it has nothing to do with anything.”
I looked at my father and knew he was lying. He knew exactly who Celine Carroll was, who the Cerrones were, but he wasn’t about to tell me the whole story. Why wouldn’t he tell me the truth about how he got mixed up in a court case involving the Chicago Mob? He wasn’t a criminal attorney.
So all right, said that little voice. He’s lying to you again, by not telling you what’s really going on. What’s that called, a lie of omission?
I ignored the voice. “So you think I shouldn’t say anything about Celine? Even though she’s been so nasty to me?”
When he cleared his throat before he spoke, I knew he was going to sugarcoat his answer.
“Hm. I think that is totally up to you.”
Dad still had these squinty eyes and deep frown lines on his forehead. It really made me uneasy. I had told him Cooper said the trial was public record, so Dad knew his name would be there. I wanted to tell him that I knew he had been involved with the trial and had helped send Celine’s parents to prison, but something told me not to bring that up. He wasn’t being honest with me, so he must have something to hide.
“Well, you know…you’re the lawyer, Dad. Cooper says turn-about is fair play. Do you tell your clients that?”
“No, honey, I don’t, but the law is a little different than what you’re going through. The thing is, whoever Celine is living with moved her to Colorado to get away from all that went on back East, and I think you should respect their privacy. While her parents’ trials are public information, as long as no one knows about them, why should you tell everyone?”
I knew my father was trying to talk me out of telling anyone about Celine, even though he just seemed to be agreeing with me. It was more than that, more than the trial. I didn’t know how, but suddenly I knew he was involved with Celine and her parents in some way that had nothing to do with the trial. A cold chill trickled down my spine.
I thought about it for a minute. “Dad, helping crooks who steal money is a bad thing, isn’t it? And being a part of the Mob? Why would someone defend them?”
“Because every person deserves to be defended, no matter what he has done. Now I know you learned that in your civics class.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I did. It just seems so unfair. I mean, unfair to the people who got their money stolen. And her parents both worked for the Mob! I can’t believe that! How can Celine and…well, whoever she lives with…live the way they do, so rich and everything, when all their money came from crooks?”
“That’s the way the world works, AJ, and it isn’t always fair. And since you don’t know who Celine is living with, you can’t just assume that their money came from her parents’ illegal connections.”
“But why does she talk about ‘her parents’ when they’re not? Gee, Dad, maybe she’s been kidnapped by the crooks and she has to pretend they are her parents!”
Dad laughed but his eyes didn’t. “I think it is safe to assume she has not been kidnapped, so don’t go letting your imagination get the best of you. This is what I think — you don’t seem to know much about this girl except that she’s been nasty to you. You don’t know what her life has been like before now, and frankly, I don’t think it is any of your business.”
He was defending Celine and I didn’t like it. “But, Dad, she doesn’t have to take her problems out on me. She didn’t have to break up my friendship with the J’s and start a fight with me and all the rest of it.”
“That’s true, AJ, but kids react differently to the bad things in their lives. Her parents’ trials couldn’t have been easy on her. I imagine she is going to be around for a long time, so why don’t you just stay away from her? I suggest you tell your friend Cooper to stay out of his father’s computer. Neither of you needs to be getting mixed up in things you know nothing about and don’t understand.”
He was getting the color back in his face, but it was pretty obvious to me that he didn’t want me to know anything more about this case, or even about Celine Carroll. He still wouldn’t look straight at me, so I knew right then that whatever he was keeping from me was pretty important.
“Huh. Well, maybe. I guess Cooper and I will keep it quiet, at least for now.” I didn’t want to talk any more about Celine, so I pushed my plate away. All of this talk and what wasn’t being said was making me lose my appetite.
“Dad, let’s go do something fun. I know! Can we go to Ghirardelli Square?”
We spent the rest of the day doing all the fun things we did when we lived near San Francisco. Some things had changed, but the Square was the same, and so were the trolleys, or cable cars, I loved to ride.
The sounds were still the same, too. Little kids racing around the square, happily screaming as they chased the free balloons all the stores gave out; the deep bass kaboom, kaboom from the horns of the fishing boats coming in to tie up at the Wharf; the throaty conversations which got louder and louder as people tried to talk over the clanging bells of the cable cars. I loved it! Oh my gosh, I missed San Francisco so much.
Dad and I talked and laughed so much I thought my sides were going to split. Then as we got off one of the trolleys, he said, “Um, AJ, did you bring any kind of dressy clothes to wear? We’re going out to dinner tonight, and I…ah…I would like for you to dress up a little.”
Now what was that all about? Dad didn’t usually care what I wore, and besides, nobody dressed up in San Francisco.
Well, I hadn’t brought anything ‘dressy’, so Dad took me into Macy’s Department Store. Wow! I’d never been there before, and the clothes were expensive. I hated to wear dresses, so I finally decided on a pair of silk pants in a soft pale gold, with a long-sleeved silk blouse to match, and a darker gold cashmere sweater. I saw Dad write out the check and it came to almost six hundred dollars. I couldn’t believe it. Then there was the matter of shoes. I had on the only shoes I had brought, and they were sneakers.
When we finally left Macy’s, I had a new pants outfit, sweater (I’d never in my life had a cashmere sweater), a pair of low-heeled almond brown pumps, a pair of knee-hi hose (no panty hose for this kid), and a beautiful gold and amber barrette for my hair. And my dad’s checking account was almost eight hundred dollars lighter. Mom was going to have a heart attack when she found out.
When we got back to his apartment I found out why he wanted me to dress up. We were going to a really fancy restaurant for dinner, and Katherine was going to be there. Just what I wanted. The woman who was going to be my new stepmother was cutting into my private time with my dad.
After I showered and dressed in my new outfit, I stared at the image in the mirror. I had used a lot of conditioner on my hair, and now it lay in a softly curled red mass on my shoulders. The gold and amber barrette pulled one side away from my face. I stared at myself. Who was this person, anyway? I was used to seeing
dirty jeans, stained T-shirts, and dusty boots, with frizzy hair pulled into a messy ponytail. This person was slim with the shimmery gold silk blouse and pants clinging to curves I didn’t even know I had. Even my freckles seemed to be more gold than cinnamon, my lashes looked longer, and my eyes were large and shining. Gee, I was pretty!
When I walked into the living room, Dad stood and looked at me for the longest time. He was probably as astonished by the transformation as I was. He whistled. “AJ, you look beautiful! No one is going to believe you’re only thirteen.”
Dad held my new sweater for me and gave me a big hug. I knew he was proud of me.
When we walked into Pietro’s, an expensive Italian restaurant on the Wharf, the maitre’d led us to a table where a lady already was seated. Of course. This was Katherine. She didn’t get up but she looked like she was tall and slender. She was very fair, with brilliant blue eyes and shiny black hair pulled up high into a French braid. Hmmm…just like some of the girls at school. Maybe she didn’t want to look like she was old enough to be the future stepmother of a thirteen-year-old girl.
“Hello, AJ. I’m Katherine.” Her voice was clear and crisp. It sounded like an attorney’s voice, but she sure didn’t look like one.
“Hi.” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want to meet her. Somehow, I thought the feeling was mutual. My dad leaned over and kissed her. On the lips, no less. At least it was brief. He held the chair for me before he sat down.
I didn’t know what to say. I lost that feeling of being pretty I’d had for such a short time, and instead felt awkward and out of place. I didn’t want to look at Katherine, so I pretended to study the table settings.
The plates were blue with a silver design on them that matched the silverware. There were big crystal goblets with that same silver design, and more knives, forks, and spoons than I had ever seen at one time. I had no idea what they were for. How did you eat with a tiny fork, or a narrow, curved spoon? What was that little knife with the ragged edge for? I just knew I was going to be embarrassed in this fancy place.
Katherine started asking questions. “How is school, AJ? What grade are you in now?”
“School is fine. I’m in the eighth grade.” She was going to be my stepmother in a few months, and she didn’t know what grade I was in? I didn’t look directly at her, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Dad frown.
“I hear you are on the cheerleading squad. Do you like cheerleading?”
Aaghh! What a dumb question. Of course I liked it, or I wouldn’t be doing it. I hesitated just long enough for the server to come to the table. Dad frowned again, but at least I didn’t have to answer such a dumb question. Unless she asked it again, that is.
Dad ordered for all of us. Almost immediately shrimp cocktails appeared with the biggest shrimp I’d ever seen hugging the top of the tall bowls. Each one came with a red sauce of some kind and looked wonderful, but I didn’t know how to eat mine. Katherine and Dad picked up those funny little forks and began to spear the shrimp. Katherine was very dainty about it, making sure that she poked the fork tines into just the very end of the shrimp and dipping the other end into the sauce. I tried to imitate her, only I missed the entire shrimp on my first try and almost upset the bowl, but I recovered it before I had a disaster. I finally speared one shrimp and swished it around in the sauce. At this point, I just wanted to get it eaten. I couldn’t be bothered with trying to be ‘dainty’.
The shrimp was as good as it looked and I ate all of it, but I was still hungry and couldn’t wait for the ‘surf and turf’ main course. I thought sure that would be next, but no such luck. The next course was a small bowl of some kind of soup. I started to ask Dad what it was, but he was busy looking at Katherine with a sappy smile on his face, so I didn’t bother. It was good, so I finished it.
Next came a salad with greens I’d never seen before, as well as some red, orange, and yellow veggies. Didn’t people in restaurants eat plain food like vegetable soup and lettuce and tomato salad? So, okay, three weird utensils down, and a few more to go. Hopefully, the knife and fork that I was accustomed to seeing would be used next for my steak and lobster. But then the waiter brought platefuls of some kind of melon, surrounded by thin slices of a pink ham. The narrow spoon and another strange little fork were used for this dish. I was almost stuffed.
It was at this point that the steak and lobster dinners, complete with a baked potato and asparagus, appeared. The steak was huge, covered in mushrooms, and the lobster was so big it looked alive and ready to grab me with its pincers. How come it wasn’t just the lobster tail I was used to having with ‘surf and turf’?
The baked potato was wrapped in aluminum foil, shaped to look like a…swan?..and the asparagus had some kind of crisp coating on it. OMG. I took a deep breath, and the crispy-burnt aroma of freshly broiled steak, together with the sweet smell of the lobster butter made my stomach turn over. I had looked forward to this dinner, but with all the stuff that came first, I knew I couldn’t begin to eat it.
All through the other courses, Dad and Katherine had carried on their own conversation, looking at each other with that same sappy ‘in love’ look Dad had on his face before. They had pretty much ignored me. Now, though, Dad looked at me with a frown. “AJ, what’s wrong? ‘Surf and turf’ used to be your favorite meal when we went out.”
“Dad, I’m sorry. It’s just that…well, with all that other stuff we ate, now I’m almost full.”
Dad’s frown deepened. “Honey, I made reservations at this restaurant just so you would have a nice atmosphere to get to know Katherine. You’ve sat here the whole time, eating everything in sight and not saying a word to anyone. Don’t tell me you are full, just finish your dinner.”
My face burned and my eyes stung with tears. How could he? It was his idea to have all these extra courses, so what did he expect me to do but eat the food? And blaming me for not talking to Katherine when the two of them talked about court stuff the whole evening? I couldn’t look at either of them. I just started to eat. After the first few bites of the steak, my stomach began to rebel, but I forced myself to stab a piece of lobster and dip it into the thick butter sauce. Another two bites and I could feel something rising up from my stomach. I swallowed, but it kept coming. I pushed back my chair without saying excuse me, and ran to the back of the restaurant where the sign for restrooms was. I barely made it to the first toilet before I upchucked everything I’d eaten all night.
I was standing at the marbled counter rinsing out my mouth when Katherine walked in. She didn’t say a word, just waited until I was finished, then took my hand, and led me over to a love seat. She went back to the basin, ran cold water over a linen hand towel that was lying in a gold wire basket, and sat down, gently wiping my face with the damp towel.
She said quietly, “I’m sorry, AJ. This was a big dinner even for adults, and your dad shouldn’t have expected you to eat so much. Besides, I don’t think a restaurant is very conducive to two people getting to know one another, do you? You know, I love your father very much, but men can be so clueless sometimes, don’t you think?”
I wanted to laugh when I thought of my dad as ‘clueless’ but I just didn’t feel up to it. Besides, I couldn’t very well side with Katherine against my father, now could I? I smiled a tiny bit then turned my face away and laid my head back. My stomach still wasn’t in good shape, and I felt really tired and weak.
Katherine sat beside me a minute before she said, “AJ, you’re very pale. Would you like to go home now instead of coming back to the table?”
My throat was raw from so much throwing up, so I could only whisper, “Yes, I would, but Dad will be mad.”
“No, he won’t. I’ll see to that. I’ll come get you in just a couple of minutes.”
The door swung shut behind her, and I was alone in the quiet coolness of the restroom. There was a faint aroma of citrus in the room, and it seemed to have a calming effect on my stomach. No one
else came in, but I wouldn’t have cared if they had. All I wanted to do was go back to Dad’s apartment and fall into bed. I didn’t want to talk to Katherine, and I never wanted to see steak and lobster on the same plate again as long as I lived.
When Katherine came back a few minutes later, she helped me up and kept her arm around my waist as we walked out to the car. I wanted to be able to stand up straight and tell her I didn’t need her help, but I couldn’t. I probably wouldn’t have been able to walk without someone to lean on, and at the moment, she was as good as anyone.
We got to the car, and she opened the door for me, since Dad didn’t bother getting out. Katherine leaned across me and briefly kissed my dad, touched my face gently, and shut the door. I watched her walk to a small sports car and saw the valet give her the keys. As soon as she got in, Dad drove off. He didn’t say one word to me all the way back to his apartment.
I had undressed and gotten into bed when Dad came in my room. He stood at the door with an unhappy expression on his face. “Well, AJ, I guess tonight didn’t go so well, did it? I thought having a nice dinner in such a special restaurant would be a good place for your first meeting with Katherine, but I guess now it wasn’t such a good idea, after all. I think the less said about tonight, the better. Good night.” He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
I turned over, pulled the pillow over my head, and let the tears come.
Chapter Sixteen
Katherine
The next morning I woke up and lay staring at the ceiling. Why was Dad so mad at me? We had had such a good time all yesterday, until dinner. I couldn’t decide if he was mad because I got sick, or if it was because I didn’t talk to Katherine. Did he really think we could get to know each other during one dinner? Besides, once we got to the restaurant, his whole attitude changed toward me.
I felt the hurt start again, so I got up and went into the shower. Maybe I could wash the feelings away.