End things.
I am just pretending all this is real.
I want to tell him that everything feels real to me.
But then I would just be fooling myself.
***
I'm one of the more attractive women in the group, even in a short-sleeved rash guard, that comes to just above my belly button, and a pair of bikini bottoms that match.
Most of the men want my attention.
This is no conceit; it's a simple fact.
So, I just give my attention to them, joking around, batting my eyelashes.
I pretend I'm not married; I accidentally left my ring on the nightstand.
Corban just gets more and more surly and leaves me to sit in the sand and sulk.
I let him sulk for all it's worth.
He can do whatever the hell he wants if he's going to treat me like shit, he's going to get the same in return.
I already told him, I will not be a party to his games, I will not be telling anyone about our relationship, I don't need a piece of paper to confirm that, if he does, he is an insecure, small little man.
He's just protecting Corban Inc.
“I think you're ready to get in the water,” My instructor, a tall man with blonde hair and blue eyes, smiles at me.
He has a natural smile, but I do miss Corban's devilish smirk.
Corban makes me want to do things to him.
Mr. Easy going, does not.
Disappointing.
“Alright,” I nod. “You okay on the sand sweetheart?” I blow the worst husband in the world a kiss.
Corban glowers at his instructor, a sweet girl who looks at me as though she's about to whimper.
I feel sorry for the poor girl.
Corban's worst quality is that if he's not enjoying himself, and he's not, no one else is going to either.
Too bad he probably paid a fortune for these lessons.
I fully intend on keeping him in a mood and make sure to keep every muscle strained and taught as I paddle out, ready to take on the first wave.
Just like that, I hear a splash, and Corban is beside me.
“I thought they told you to stay on the sand, dear,” I hiss at him, splashing him with water, right in the face was my intent, but he moves at the last moment.
“I make my own rules,” He growls at me. “Are you going to fuck your instructor too?”
“Maybe I'll make some extra cash since you seem intent on alienating me, I might not even get paid,” I hiss back at him, my anger seething.
And just like that, I feel my surfboard tip from underneath me, and I push at Corban the same time, both of us flip each other over.
At least I resurface from under the saltwater laughing; he looks moody and miserable.
“You look like a drowned rat,” I shoot at him.
“You look like Rowan,” He shoots back.
I glare at him, not bothering to respond because that was a low, low blow.
“Whatever.” My ultimate passive-aggressive phrase is in place.
I surge forward, and away from him, looking back to see that he is returning to the beach, and my triumphant win feels far from a success.
It’s like I've lost somehow, and he manages to make me miserable without even being near me.
By the time the day draws close to an end, I've caught a few waves, and even managed to stand up a couple of times, but nothing major to make me happy enough that I want to go in, or anywhere near him.
So, I paddle out alone one last time, despite a storm rolling in, far off in the distance.
Besides, there is no warning of incoming waves I can’t handle.
I love the calm of the water, drifting in an out like this, paddling in and out. The exercise is great too. I'm so focused on getting out, diving in and out of the waves that I don't see what's coming next.
I don't expect the sudden wave above me, crashing over me as I continue to paddle forward, then another, a more massive wave rolling towards me, more substantial than I know I can handle.
I hear someone shouting directions that I can't understand.
There's a hard knot of fear forms in my stomach, and I have two options: try to dive under it and hope I can make it back before another wave rolls in behind it or try to turn around and make it back to shore before I drown.
I'm going to drown; my automatic reaction sinks in before I can even make a decision.
Dive into it, I tell myself.
Dive under it.
My stomach sinks even lower, and the knot of fear hardens as my body begins to shake.
I hold my breath and use the board to propel myself underneath the wave.
I resurface a little shaken, I can feel my blood pressure dropping from the panic as I begin to turn around to swim back to shore, but there's more coming.
There's another, more massive wave behind it, and I'm not ready. The wall of water is crashing over my head, and all I hear are the screams coming from the shore before I'm sucked underneath, praying for someone to come out and save me.
I can hold my breath for forty seconds max, so the first thing I do is try to swim for the surface, only I don't know which way is up.
The board floats, so I try to swim for that, but I'm rolling around under the water, I'm not even sure if the board is floating.
Should I follow it?
But I'm running out of air quickly, my lungs burning to inhale and I start swimming in the direction of what I think is shore. It must be the shore. Or up. Or down? I'm so confused.
Keep swimming, is the only thought in my head. Keep going. Move.
And then I feel it, I feel the surface of the water, and I see the board, hanging on for dear life as I gasp, sucking in the life-giving air as I grab hold of it.
My head bobs out of the water.
I suck in one deep breath before I'm dragged under again. I choke and sputter as I gag on the salt water.
Everything goes black.
***
I wake up on the beach like, like I’m in a dream, it’s almost like I was asleep, and then suddenly I can hear a thousand voices around me, and I am being crushed, then being forced through a vortex and back to reality.
I have no idea where I am as I cough and sputter.
I know one thing, as Corban collapses, and I can hear him talk, as several people ask if I am okay.
I am alive.
I vaguely remember paddling out, the rest of my memory is foggy.
I almost died.
The rain has me, my rescuers, and a shell-shocked Corban soaked to the bone as I lay there, unable to process what has just happened.
I almost died.
I could be dead right now.
“You weren't breathing,” He tells me, a worried look on his face. “You weren't breathing.”
“I'm breathing now,” I manage to croak; my voice feels hoarse like I can taste the saltwater.
I want to cry, but it hurts, everything from my toes to my chest, to my head hurts, and I get the feeling that if I weren't already laying down, I would've fainted by now.
“I can't believe I almost lost you!” He exclaims.
Then Corban pushes those trying to examine me aside, taking both of my hands.
In the pouring rain, through his soaked face, I can see the brutal honesty in his eyes.
He genuinely cares for me.
This is real for both of us.
He has feelings for me, feelings that he probably doesn't know what to do with, but they are there, and all I can do is clutch his hand back as the rain continues to pour over all of us in big fat drops.
But I don't care about the rain, or the fact that I'm freezing, or the storm overhead as the waves come dangerously closer and closer to where they are examining me around Corban, who refuses to move.
I see clarity.
In his gaze there are feelings that I've never seen in anyone before.
No one has ever looked at me like this.
I've seen Corban's various
expressions, but none of them compare to what I feel may be close to what looks like love.
I've never been in love; I wouldn't know what it feels like, or what someone in love would look like to me.
“Ava if something happened to you, and those were the last things I said to you,” He starts
“It's okay,” I tell him quietly, putting a hand on the side of his face. “We spend so much time fighting over stupid things.”
“I'm so sorry,” He pleads with me.
“I said it's okay; I forgive you.” I repeat.
“Ava,” He shakes his head. “I don't deserve a woman like you; you know that, right? You're too good for me.”
I laugh, and then everything hurts as they decide that nothing is broken, and it's okay to move me, at my own pace.
“She's one lucky woman,” says a surfing instructor.
When I finally sit up, I'm feeling every bone in my body, yelling at me in protest.
“I'm the luckiest man on earth,” Corban responds, watching me carefully.
They take me to the infirmary to have me checked out, just in case.
But I am the luckiest woman alive, lucky because I almost died and Corban is by my side.
“You need rest,” Corban says.
His gaze is still the same.
****
May 7, 2017
I am well rested the next morning, and not in as much pain.
I swallow a couple of aspirin and we spend the day lazing around our private infinity pool.
We switch from swimming, to laying on the day bed, and sunning ourselves on the day bed.
Corban orders all our meals through room service.
It is a lazy, wonderful day full of kisses and learning new things about each other.
After dinner, Corban says he has a surprise, and to wear something nice.
I dress in a white mini dress, with straps that criss-cross in the back and come low, just before my ass, leaving nothing to the imagination.
He's read my mind and by now he's discovered that despite my earlier accident I love the water and being on the water, and his luxury catamaran cruise is perfect.
That and so much more, so much so that my earlier headache is gone.
I don't feel the least bit sick, even after delicious seafood appetizers and multiple sex on the beach cocktails.
We lay on the luxurious net on the front of the boat.
The net bounces as the boat surges forward along the water, and the sun begins to set.
“I'm in love with your body, push and pull like a magnet… I'm in love with your body…” Corban hums along with the music the boat is blaring.
We are utterly alone as I get up on my bare feet and I gyrate my hips to the music, making him watch
He licks his lips as I move to the music and finish my drink, before I fall beside him, laughing.
“Your laugh hypnotizes me,” he smiles gently.
After everything we've been through, it feels like he's broken through every single wall I had left.
We move to a luxurious seating area, that's a little more stable.
We're sailing across the water so blue I want to reach out and grab a handful, the tall sails of the catamaran unfurl as the captain announces that the weather is perfect for sailing.
The sails, in hues of royal blue and crisp white rippling in the wind above us, are magical.
There is a picturesque sunset just beginning, the water suddenly glowing with hues of orange and yellow as reds and pinks melt into the sky, a rapid change from the bright blue of the beautiful day we had before us seconds ago.
I didn't expect it to be this romantic.
I'm used to luxury, but I'm not used to being in this sort of luxurious setting with a man I admire, a man I want to love and love me in return.
I do have feelings for Corban, aside from everything, so when he wraps his arm around me, as we lay together against the plush padding, I don't protest, I can't bring myself to pull away from this man because he is magnetic to me.
The sky is brilliantly lit in an orange glow, and the water all surrounds us, no land for miles.
The water turns a purplish, hue, the rippling waves a darker shade, as the sun begins to set deeper.
It’s a gigantic ball of orange light, brilliant and gorgeous.
My head sinks onto Corban's shoulder.
“It's so...” I can't find the words for this.
For how I feel because this is so incredible, I've never seen anything remotely like this.
“It's unforgettable,” He tells me. “Sort of like you, I've never met anyone like you,” He tells me. “I mean it,” He reiterates, as though he's not sure that I believe him. “I don't think I've ever met anyone like you, and I don't think…”
I silence him with my lips because I don't want him to think his words are insincere.
I get it, and I'm afraid I'll tell him the same.
I thought he was the same as every other rich man I'd ever met, that he was soulless, paying a woman for her company because he had nothing better to do, that he was just using me for fun, and now?
Now I feel like there's a possibility all of this may be real, it may be real for both of us.
He returns my kiss instantly, and I open my mouth to him, letting his tongue roam my mouth, his hand on my hip, his grip more insistent until he's pressing me into the soft, luxurious padding of the lounge we are laying on.
He's the most amazing kisser; no one has ever kissed me as he does.
It's always surprising, one second the pressure is deep and intense, and then he lightens up, kissing my lips lightly, before biting my lower lip, kissing under my jaw, and down my neck, and then returning to my lips, where he's kissing me like before, and we are the last two people on earth.
When I do come back down to earth, the sunset is gone, and we are both breathing heavily, because, as I'm now aware, it's easy to get carried away when we are kissing. My hands have somehow traveled into his crisp white button-up shirt, against his hard chest, where his skin is nice and warm. Corban's hands are somewhat up my dress. He rights himself a little, aware that we are not alone, and unwilling to do anything improper.
“I want to get to know you better.” I run my hands through his hair affectionately.
“You know me I think.” He smirks back.
“Fine, what do you want to know?”
As if right on cue, Corban starts to ask about my previous line of work. “So, you worked with Isa since you were nineteen?”
“I liked it at first, it was really good money, but back when I first started I was numb from the years of being in the system, I guess. I turned eighteen right after graduation and just split with the money from my safety deposit box.”
“You were a smart kid,” Corban nods.
“I was,” reply confidently. “So, when everything first started, there was no feeling left. I didn't care if I was selling my body, or myself, it was money, and it was better than working myself to the bone for virtually nothing because no one was taking from me what I made. Even if Isa got most of the cut.”
“Why was that?” He asks curiously.
“Well, it was Isa's idea, right? At first, I made no money because she made us pay her, for the make-overs, for the clothes she provided us with, for the connections. Those are her fees. The first months I barely made anything. The high paying jobs came with more strings. After a while I didn't want the higher paying jobs that came with sexual expectations,” I explain.
“So, I did what I had to do until I got out, I took lower paying jobs, just to be the arm candy. She wasn't happy about it, but at the same time, I was still bringing in money so she stayed happy enough,” I shrug. “She didn’t understand it, that I didn’t want to.”
“Not have to sleep with men you barely know?” he clarifies.
“Yes, I do have some morals it turns out,” I laugh lightly.
I am trying to lighten the mood, trying to explain to him that I'm not that kind of
girl, I'm not who I was, and it's been a long time since I was that girl.
“I get it,” Corban tells me. “I know exactly what you mean.” He whispers in my ear.
He pulls me closer, both of us staring up at a blanket of stars so thick that there's nothing else in the world I would instead be looking at.
“Did you know most stars, are just light?” He asks.
“Really?” I ponder this.
“Yeah. The light takes so long to travel to earth, that by the time it reaches us, the star has already died, and blown up,” He explains.
“That's sad.” I make a funny face at him
“Think of it like this. If there's someone looking at us, through telescope millions of years from now with some advanced technology, they'll still see us, because they see a reflection of the light. So even if we're gone, even if there's no more us, millions of years from now, someone is still going to see us, here, in the same place,” He smiles gently.
“That's amazing,” I look at Corban suddenly, the thought of us existing possibly forever, is not a scary thought, it warms me because I do want him. I want him to just be with me.
I move towards him and snuggle with him further as I lay my head in the crook of his arm, staring up at the stars.
“Pretty amazing,” He repeats back to me. “If all they see of me in millions of years is this, I'll be happy.”
“We better make a pretty picture then,” he smirks.
Then he draws me into another incredible kiss, which distracts us until it's time to leave.
Returning to our private bure is the end of the blissful night, but there is something on my mind I want to share.
“You know what's funny?” I ask.
“What?” He looks up at me, taking off his shirt, and I almost think better of saying what I want to.
“Through all that time I honestly wondered what my parents would think. Then I wondered if I had real parents. So, I guess maybe I kept throwing myself into the spotlight, on every rich man's arm, hoping that someone would open the paper one day, and recognize who I was,” I admit. “That’s stupid right?”
“Your real parents?” Corban looks at me a little strangely.
“Stupid right?” I laugh and brush it off.
That's when Corban starts acting strange, it's like he has something to tell me, but he won't say anything.
Exposure_A Stone Billionaire Series Novel Page 9