by Beth Wiseman
“Just run the stick from one horn to the other and tape it to the horns?” Becky broke off a tiny piece of bacon and ate it.
“Ya. I’d try that. Those goats of yours keep finding a way to get to those bushes. I’d say cut the bushes down, but there are plenty more along the south fence.” Daed pushed his chair back from the table. “Ruben, you ready?”
Ruben nodded, swallowed a mouthful of food, and chugged down his glass of milk. He followed their father out the back door. Lena left the kitchen to go upstairs and get dressed.
Becky finished her eggs but left the rest of the bacon. She was about to stand up and help clean the kitchen when her mother walked up to her, hands on her hips, and stared at her.
“Why aren’t you eating, Becky? Don’t try to deny it; I’ve been watching. Are you ill?”
Mamm was a full-figured woman, and she ate plenty. But she was not fat or even chubby. As a child Becky had been certain she was adopted, but in reality she looked too much like her younger sister for that to be possible.
“I’ve been dieting.” Becky stood up, brushed past her mother, and put her plate in the sink. Mamm followed her, plugged the sink, and started running hot water.
“Ya, well, I can tell you are losing weight. Especially in your face.” Mamm stacked the plates in the soapy water. “But don’t overdo it. You don’t want to be like those Englisch girls who get so thin that they die.” She shook her head. “I read about that in a magazine once. Anorexia is what it’s called.”
Becky laughed aloud. “Mamm, are you kidding me? I’m huge. I’d never be that thin.” But I sure would like to be.
Mamm shook her head. “Becky, you see yourself as much bigger than you really are. You always have.” She paused as she handed Becky a clean dish to dry. “You are a beautiful girl.”
In the face. How many times had she overheard that over the course of her life? Becky Byler has a lovely face, but . . .
“Anyway, I’m trying hard to lose weight.”
Becky paused. She wanted to tell her mother the whole story—how she had prayed, how God had granted her a miracle, how she was going to be thin and beautiful. But she knew her mother would not approve.
Vanity and pride. She had been taught to live by the Ordnung her entire life, and everyone knew that the Ordnung forbade taking too much notice of your looks or accomplishments. Still, we are made in God’s image, Becky thought. Wouldn’t God want us to be the best we could possibly be?
“Just do it in a healthy way. Don’t stop eating altogether.” Mamm handed Becky the last dish, then pulled the plug to let the dishwater drain.
“I hear people whispering, Mamm. About how fat I am.” Becky blinked back tears as she recalled all the times her feelings had been hurt.
Her mother turned to face Becky and gently latched onto her arms. “You listen to me. It is a shame that a few folks don’t see you for the beautiful person you are. Your beauty shines from the inside.” Her mother paused. “But you are also very beautiful on the outside, Becky.” Mamm dropped her hands to her side and shrugged. “Ya, I know. It shouldn’t matter. But I think the Lord knows that we like to feel gut about ourselves. He just doesn’t want our looks controlling our lives. We strive to all be equal in His eyes. So keep that in mind while you’re trying to lose weight.”
Mamm kissed her on the cheek. “Besides, I think you’re perfect the way you are.”
Elam finished his chores early, and once he was cleaned up, he went and found his mother in the mud room running their clothes through the washing machine. “I’m going to town. Do you need me to pick anything up?”
“Nee, I don’t think so.” She laid one of Elam’s wet shirts in the laundry basket. “I’m going to get these hung out to dry and then work in the garden.” Mamm pulled another shirt through, let out a heavy sigh, and then dabbed her forehead with a handkerchief she kept in her apron pocket.
“Do we need more eggs from Rosa?” Elam recalled Becky’s offer to deliver eggs to him and his mother. He didn’t have any pressing business in town. He just wanted to see Becky. He needed to brave up and tell her how he really felt about her. Especially if Matt King might be interested.
“Nee. Not yet.”
“Okay. I’ll be back before supper.”
It was too late into the year to ask Becky to marry him. Not enough time to have the announcement properly published or to plan a wedding. Even though Amish weddings were uniform, every bride still had her own special way of making it unique, and he wanted Becky to have that opportunity too. But maybe if they officially started dating, then they could marry next year in October or November.
Fifteen minutes later he pulled up to the bakery. Young Lena was behind the counter with her mother, but Elam didn’t see Becky. Rosa was counting out eggs to Sarah Byler, and there were two people in line. He recognized Esther Zook from the back by the way she was slumped over, but it wasn’t until Mary Stoltzfus turned around that he recognized her.
Elam waited patiently, hoping Becky would come out from the back and wishing he could strike up a conversation with Mary to find out if she was dating Matt. Rosa smiled at Elam as she brushed by him on her way out, and Lena was busy totaling up Esther’s order. He tapped Mary on the shoulder.
“Hi, Elam.” Mary batted her long eyelashes over bright blue eyes.
The tall girl had been gorgeous since she was young. With her rosy red cheeks and full red lips, she looked as if she wore makeup similar to the Englisch girls. But Mary was a natural beauty. She’d be a perfect match for Matt.
“Wie bischt?” Elam forced a smile as he wondered how he could ask the question on his mind. If he recalled correctly, Mary’s mother had been ill for the past couple of weeks. “How’s your mamm?”
“Much better. Danki for asking.” Mary turned back around and placed her order with Lena, then spun to face Elam again. “The doctor said it was bronchitis, and she really is a lot better, but not back to her old self yet. I’m doing as much as I can, but today I’m cheating and ordering two loaves of bread.” She smiled. Elam had to admit she was mesmerizing, with her perfect white teeth and full lips. Surely she and Matt were an item and no one knew about it yet. That was the way it was done when things became serious. The couple was hush-hush about it until after the news was published.
“I’m glad to hear she’s doing better.”
Mary smiled, then handed Lena her money and was waiting for change. Elam was going to miss this chance if he didn’t ask her.
“Hey, I was wondering . . . ,” he whispered from behind her. She twisted the upper half of her body to face him.
“Ya?”
“Are you and Matt King a couple?” Best to just find out, he decided. “I mean, I heard rumor of that, and I was wondering if we’d have another wedding to look forward to soon.” He rubbed his stomach. “Nothing like a wedding meal to make a man happy.”
Mary laughed. “We all know that you men live for the meals on wedding days. But nee, there are no wedding plans for me.” She tapped a finger to her chin. “Marie King and John Zook’s wedding is in October, then a few weeks after that, Rosa Hostetler and Adam Bontrager will exchange vows.” She shrugged, smiling. “Those are the only weddings I know of.”
Elam nodded, but he couldn’t help but notice that Mary hadn’t answered the question of whether she and Matt were dating.
“Danki, Lena,” Mary said to the young girl as she took her loaves of bread and turned toward the exit. She gave a quick wave to Elam as she left.
“What can I get for you, Elam?” Lena leaned her elbows on the glass countertop and smiled. She looked so much like Becky with her dark hair and big brown eyes.
“Uh . . .” He should have thought of something while he was in line. “I guess . . .”
Lena let out an exaggerated sigh. “Just wait here. I’ll go get Becky.”
Elam flinched with embarrassment, but at least he’d get to see Becky. She came from the back with splotches of flour all over her black apron. An
apron that showed off a shrinking middle.
“Wow. You’re really losing weight.” It was a good starting comment since he knew how much Becky’s weight bothered her.
Her face lit up as she bounced up on her toes behind the counter. Lena had disappeared as soon as her older sister came out. “Danki for noticing. It’s a miracle. The pounds are just dropping off.” She reached over the counter and touched Elam’s arm, which sent a little thrill up his spine. “I prayed about it, Elam. I asked God to make me lose weight. And He did.” She let go of his arm, stepped back, and looked down at her smaller self. “I can’t believe it.”
“I thought you were perfect just the way you were.” Elam forced a smile. Was she losing weight so that she could be with Matt?
Maybe he was blowing this entire thing out of proportion. Maybe Becky misunderstood Matt’s intentions when he mentioned the singing. Matt King was a much better match for someone like Mary.
“So, what brings you here?”
“I just wanted to see you. And I wanted to ask you—”
The bell on the door chimed. Becky’s face lit up, and Elam turned to see Matt.
Chapter Five
Matt was disappointed but not surprised to see Elam Miller chatting with Becky. Those two were together all the time.
He stopped beside Elam at the counter. “Wie bischt, you two?”
They all exchanged pleasantries. Matt was hoping Elam would leave, but he folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter as if he might stay all day. Elam had weird eyes that roamed all over the place, but otherwise he was ample competition for the ladies in their district. Matt was hoping he hadn’t latched onto the one girl Matt hadn’t had an opportunity to spend time with.
“Remember awhile back when I took you home, Becky . . . you told me all about your goats?” She nodded, and out of the corner of his eye Matt caught the scowl on Elam’s face. “You said that sometimes you give them to gut homes. I talked to mei daed, and we both think having a few goats would be gut. And Mamm said she’d go along with it as long as I take care of them. Would you consider selling one buck and three of the does?”
“I think I could spare a few knowing that they’d be well taken care of,” she said. “Only thing is, with these Boer goats, they tend to get their horns stuck in the fence when they’re young because of the way the horns point backward. They push their heads through, then the horns get locked and they can’t get their heads out. We struggle with it when the kids are young.” She paused. “Does it matter to you if they are babies or older goats?”
“As long as they produce milk, I don’t think it matters.”
Matt felt the urge to reach across the counter and brush off a smudge of flour on Becky’s cheek. And he should have, since only seconds later Elam did.
“Flour,” Elam said as he pushed his thick glasses up on his nose.
Matt was sure Elam liked Becky as more than a friend. Maybe she was already spoken for. If that was the case, he didn’t want to get in the way.
But Becky sure wasn’t acting as if she and Elam were courting. “Do you want to come to the haus after I’m off work and take a look, see which ones you might want?” She laid her palms on the glass counter and smiled. “But remember, they’re all special. You have to keep their names.”
Matt grinned at her. “I will. And that sounds great. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
He left the bakery, still wondering about Elam and Becky. He wasn’t paying much attention when he bumped into Mary Stoltzfus in front of the bakery.
“Ach, Mary, I’m sorry. I was lost in thought and not watching where I was going.” Matt leaned closer. “Are you okay?”
“Ya. I’m fine. I just realized that Becky’s little sister, Lena, gave me a twenty-dollar bill as my change, and it should have been a one-dollar bill. I need to go back in and tell them.”
Becky’s heart fluttered, and she didn’t think the end of the day would get here soon enough. She couldn’t believe it. Matt might actually be interested in her.
Elam cleared his throat and nodded toward the glass storefront. “I guess the rumors are true.” He pointed to Matt and Mary standing outside talking.
“Just because they’re talking doesn’t mean they are dating,” Becky snapped back a little too quickly. “I mean . . . we don’t know that.”
Elam frowned. “You don’t have an interest in Matt, do you?”
“Of course not.” Becky rolled her eyes. “Why do you say that?”
He looped his thumbs under his suspenders. “Just wondering.”
As Becky watched Matt and Mary laughing and talking, she couldn’t help but wonder if Elam was right. Mary was a good match for Matt.
She turned back to her best friend, the one she could always count on. “Now, what did you want to ask me earlier?”
Elam took a deep breath. “This isn’t really the place to talk. Can we get together one night for supper?”
Becky stared at him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He raised his eyebrows. “Nothing is wrong. I just have something I want to talk to you about.”
“Okay. How about Thursday?”
Elam nodded. “Sounds gut. I’ll pick you up about four.”
After Elam left, Mary came back in the bakery to straighten out a cash mistake Lena had made.
“I told Mamm more than once that Lena isn’t very good with the money,” Becky said. “But Mamm insists the only way she’ll ever learn is to let her keep running the cash register.”
“It’s okay.” Mary chuckled. “At least most people around here are pretty honest.”
Becky spent the rest of the day watching the clock. When she got home, she rushed upstairs. She had just lathered up with lavender soap in the bathtub when there was a knock at the door.
“Becky?”
“Yes, Mamm.”
“Why are you up here bathing before you tend to those goats? Your father got worried about them, so he got off the plow early and worked on the fence. You need to go see what he’s done. And they need to be fed.”
“Okay,” Becky yelled. “I’m coming.”
“And don’t forget to thank your daed for all that fence work. You know how hard it is on his back.”
“I will.” Becky dried off and pulled her damp hair into a bun. She dressed, put on her kapp, and ran down the stairs. Matt was just pulling up in his buggy with a small enclosed trailer in tow.
Becky swallowed hard as the realization hit her: she was about to lose four of her pets. She had given some away before, but first she had visited her kids’ future homes and given the new owners detailed instructions about how to feed and take care of them. With Matt, she’d just said ‘sure’ and that was the end of it.
“Mei daed worked on the fence today, and I need to go check it. Do you mind walking with me across the north side?” She paused. “Or if you’re in a hurry, we’ll find which goats you want first.”
“Nee. Let’s check out the fence.” He fell in step with Becky, and they started across the lush green field. “I’m going to leave it to your expertise anyway. You probably know which ones are best for us.”
“I’ve been thinking about it since you came into the bakery. Ram definitely wouldn’t be a gut choice for the male.” She chuckled. “He has that name for a reason. But we have a younger buck that has been a fine breeder. His name is Chester.”
“How’d you come up with that name?”
“It just popped into my head. No particular reason. He just looked like a Chester when he was born.” She glanced up at him and was struck again by how handsome he was. “Pilgrim was born the week of Thanksgiving. Cupid was born right before Valentine’s Day, and my most recent triplets are Sugar, Cinnamon, and Spice.” She shrugged. “No rhyme or reason sometimes.”
Three of her friendliest kids came running toward them. “That’s Cupcake and her two does, Ginger and Coco.” She pointed toward them.
Matt laughed. “Lots of food names.”
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Embarrassment swept over Becky in a wave. Had her entire life revolved around food? She decided in that instant that she would never name another kid anything food related. She was quiet as they kept walking, then stopped when Cupcake and her does reached them.
Matt reached down and petted Cupcake, then the babies. “I like their names. It’s cute.” He glanced around. “Where are the bucks?”
“They’re fenced off on the other side.” Becky pointed to her left, where her bucks were grazing. They started walking again, but Becky picked up speed when she heard one of the goats wailing. “Oh no. Somebody must have her head stuck again!” She started running, and so did Matt, but as she drew closer, she recognized the agonizing sound. “Someone’s in labor!”
“Now?” Matt stayed by her side as they ran.
Becky struggled to catch her breath as she reached Popsicle. Ach. More food. The doe was standing and crying out.
“She’s far along. She’s going to kid any minute.”
“Right now?”
“Ya.” Becky squatted down to have a better look. “They usually deliver at night or when no one is around. I think they prefer it that way, or at least that’s what I’ve read. I’ve helped deliver at least a dozen.” She shrugged. “But sometimes the mommies just show up at feeding time with a new baby in tow.” She pointed. “Here it comes. Look close and you can barely see the tiny hooves.”
Matt squatted down next to Becky. “Wow.”
“Honestly, I didn’t even know that Popsicle was pregnant. She’s had four kids, and it’s hard to tell when they’re expecting—except with the first one, because that’s when they get their udders for the first time.”
Matt leaned even closer. “I see two hooves.”