He hated to see her beating herself up like this. She didn’t deserve it. “If I thought he would, do you think I’d be sitting here? Look, Trent’s good at hiding out until things quiet down. And Steve was never physically abusive. Verbally, yes, but never physically… at least not with Trent.”
“It still hurts, you know, the verbal abuse. It leaves a mark that never really goes away.”
He wanted to hold her, kiss away the haunted look in her eyes, but settled for taking her hand instead. “Your dad was verbally abusive?”
She nodded. “My mom got the worst of it, and no one ever stopped him.” She gave Gage a soft smile, an emotion in her eyes he couldn’t read. “But you’ve been there for Brandi and Trent all along. You’re a good man, Gage McBride.”
He shifted, uncomfortable with her praise. “It wasn’t only me looking out for them. I just made sure I was there to nail his sorry ass when I had the chance.”
“I wish someone like you had been looking out for me and my mother.” She glanced out the window, then drew her hand from his.
“So do I.” In his job, Gage had seen firsthand the damage an abusive parent could do. It made him sick to think about what Madison had suffered as a little girl.
Picking up her purse and jacket, she slid along the bench.
“Where are you going?”
“It’s getting dark out.” She stood, shrugging into her jacket. “I thought I’d drive around, see if can find Trent.”
“He’ll go home, Madison. He always does. He’s done this before.”
“They don’t always go home, you know. Sometimes they do something stupid, and they never go home again.”
He didn’t like it. Her voice was distant, as if she was caught up in the past.
“Madison—”
She held up a hand, her gaze moving over his face like a caress. “I need to try. Thanks for inviting me to dinner with you and the girls. Say good-bye to them for me.”
He glanced to where Annie shyly talked with her friends while digging into a chocolate sundae, to Lily who was still eating her pizza. There was no way he could leave. He watched in frustration as Madison walked away. She opened the door and turned up her collar against the cold wind blowing her hair back from her beautiful, sad face.
Holly approached the table. He raised a brow. With a sheepish look, she slid into the booth. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Propping an elbow on the table, she rested her chin in her hand. “We’re as bad as the people who bullied her in that stupid town she grew up in. We should’ve known better.” She rubbed her cheek with her hand. “I think we misjudged her. But you didn’t, did you?”
He didn’t want to lump himself in with the rest of them, but in the beginning, he had misjudged her. “Yeah, we did. Everyone did. But in our defense, she doesn’t always make it easy not to.”
She didn’t. When Madison first arrived in town, her defense mechanisms were so deeply entrenched no one would’ve believed that underneath her take-no-prisoners attitude was a warm, caring woman with a heart of gold. It might’ve been better—for him—if she’d left her defenses in place.
A customer waved Holly over. She stood and studied him. “You really like her, don’t you?”
“I do. She’s become a good friend.”
Holly pulled a face. “Friend?”
No, but that was all they could be.”Yeah, don’t read anything more into it.” And he’d try to do the same.
* * *
For the last two hours, Madison had looked for Trent in the places she’d gone to when things got bad at home. She’d tried the playground, the church, the library, but there was no sign of him.
Her phone buzzed. Gage. “Did you find him?” she asked.
“No, but Steve’s in custody. They picked him up on a DUI twenty minutes ago in the next county. From what they got out of him, he didn’t see Trent after he left the diner.”
She pulled alongside the curb just down from an old-fashioned lamppost. “Do you think he’s telling the truth?”
“Yeah, I do.” His deep voice was confident and reassuring. “I called some of Trent’s friends. One of the girls saw him hanging around the hardware store a couple of hours ago. Where are you?”
Snow blew from the trees on a gust of wind. She leaned forward to read the sign. “The corner of Aspen and Mountain Ridge Road.”
“Okay. I’m going to head out as soon as my dad gets here. You sound beat. Why don’t you head home?”
She was tired. And Gage probably had a better idea where to look for Trent than she did. “You’ll call me, right, if you find him?”
“When I find him, I’ll call you.”
She laughed. “Cocky much?”
“Confident.” She heard the smile in his voice. “It’s nice to hear you laugh. I was worried about you,” he said.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so emotional. I guess Trent’s situation hit too close to home.”
“You don’t need to apologize, not to me. When you talked about someone not being able to go back home, was that you?”
She really had run off at the mouth. “No, my mother.”
“Will you tell me about her?”
She wanted to, and that surprised her. But maybe it shouldn’t have. From the beginning, there’d been something about Gage that made it easy for her to open up. And now, sitting alone in the dark, she felt less self-conscious, like she was in a confessional.
It’d been Mavis, her boss at the diner, who’d sat Madison down the day she turned sixteen to tell her about her mother. She’d always wondered if it’d been because Mavis had worried Madison would turn out the same.
“My mother was sweet and incredibly naïve. My father wasn’t. He was a mean drunk. He felt like life had done him wrong and took it out on my mother, both physically and verbally. When I was six, he put her in the hospital. She wanted to leave him, but didn’t see how she could. She didn’t have much of a support system. Only Mavis, her boss, and the men who came to the diner and gave her the attention she craved. It was a small town. People talked. They made her out to be the town tramp. She was an easy target, pretty and from the wrong side of town. Her boss told me there was only one man before Mitch, but in the end he went back to his wife.
“My mother thought Mitch was different. I never met him, but I don’t think it speaks well of a man who’d leave his wife and three kids on Christmas Eve. Anyway, my mother woke me up on the morning of the twenty-fourth to tell me they were getting married. I don’t think I’d ever seen her so happy.
“They didn’t want to tip off my father or Mitch’s wife and were leaving that night after they’d finished their shifts. Mitch’s father-in-law owned the mill in town. Mitch and my dad worked for him. I was to wait for them on the front steps of the church. I waited, but they never came. My father arrived just as the service let out. He was fall-down drunk and told me my mother got what she deserved. They’d gone off the road and hit a tree. They died instantly.” She took a moment to swallow the emotions welling upside her. “So there you have it, Sheriff, my sorry tale.”
“Don’t, don’t try and make light of it.” His voice was rough and edgy. “It got worse, didn’t it, after your mother died?”
She rubbed the steering wheel. “It did. Everyone blamed her for what happened to Mitch. Since she wasn’t around, they took their anger out on me. And not surprisingly I guess, given the circumstances, my father was fired from the mill a few months later. His drinking got worse. And when he was drunk, he’d confuse me with my mother.”
“Did he—”
“No.” She shook her head. “No. If it got really bad, I’d go stay with Ruby. She lived in the trailer next door to ours.” Madison started. She’d forgotten about Ruby.
A weighted silence filled the SUV. “Gage?”
“I’m here, sweetheart.”
She smiled. The endearment left her feeling warm and fuzzy inside, cared for and protected.
“So no one did anything to sto
p him? There was no one looking out for you?”
“A few months ago, I would’ve said no. But since I’ve been in Christmas, I’ve remembered things differently. Like just now. I’d forgotten about Ruby and how she always seemed to be there when I needed her. Ruby and Mavis, they tried to help.”
“Not goddamn hard enough. What the hell was wrong with those people? You were the same age as Annie.”
“I guess not all towns are filled with nosy, interfering people like the ones who live here,” she teased in hopes of lightening the mood.
“I’d take Christmas over the town you lived in any day.”
“Me too.” It was true—she would.
“Hang on. In here, Dad.” Gage came back on the line. “Dad says hi, and I’m supposed to remind you about the skating party. What skating party is he talking about?”
Madison laughed, welcoming the release. “The one he says you have every year. You know what your dad and Mrs. O’Connor are up to, don’t you?”
He sighed. “Yeah. And if it’s bothering you, just say the word, and I’ll put a stop to it.”
“No, it’s fine. They’re harmless.”
“Harmless? That’s debatable. So, are you going to tell me who’s in the lead?” he asked, as though he, too, realized she needed the normalcy, the lightness.
“No contest, Sheriff. There’s only one man in the running… you.” She wasn’t teasing anymore. It was true.
“Good answer. I wouldn’t want to beat up my best friend.”
“You wouldn’t beat up Ethan over a woman.”
“Depends on who the woman is. For you, I would.”
“I wish…” She couldn’t finish, couldn’t tell him how much she wished things were different.
“So do I,” he said quietly.
“It’d never work, you know.”
“I know. You hate small towns.”
“Right.” Not so much anymore, not Christmas at least. “And long-distance relationships don’t work.”
“That’s been my experience. And you love your job.”
“I do, and so do you. And my tendency to attract negative press wouldn’t be good for an elected official.”
“Yeah, trouble seems to have a way of landing on your doorstep, Ms. Lane. And I do need to keep my job.”
“Yes, you do, for Annie and Lily’s sake.” She thought about the two girls. Annie with her incredible voice. The pleasure Madison got out of watching her slowly come into her own. And Lily with her boundless energy and sunny disposition, who never failed to make Madison smile. “I really like your daughters.”
“They really like you, too. So do I.”
What she wouldn’t give to have him with her now, to have him hold her in his arms.
“That wouldn’t be a good idea. I wouldn’t be able to let you go.”
“How did you know what I was thinking?”
“Easy. I was thinking the same thing.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to suggest they give whatever this was between them a chance when she spotted a boy, tall and lanky, coming down the road from the warehouse. “Gage, I think I see Trent.” She turned on the engine and pulled away from the curb. Trent got caught in her high beams. “It’s him.”
“Okay, I’ll be right there.”
“Would you mind if I picked him up? I’d like a chance to talk to him.”
“Sure. I’ll call Brandi. Let her know you’ll be bringing him home.”
“Thanks. And Gage, thanks for listening.”
“No need to thank me. I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me.”
She did trust him. He made her feel safe. “Have a good night.”
“You too. Good luck with Trent.”
She’d need it. As she lowered the passenger-side window, Trent eyed her suspiciously, a belligerent jut to his chin. But no matter how tough he pretended to be, she recognized the look in his eyes. She should. She’d seen it often enough looking back at her in the mirror.
“Hey, Trent. I’m Madison Lane, a friend of Sheriff McBride’s. Hop in. I’ll give you a lift home.”
His upper lip curled. “I know who you are. You’re the psycho who nailed me with the snowball.”
Madison decided to save the apology. “Yeah, and you’re the kid who hit Annie in the face with one. Come on, it’s cold out, and it’s getting late.” She held up her hands. “No snowballs.”
He stole a quick glance over his shoulder then nodded. Opening the back door, he tossed his knapsack inside.
“Why don’t you sit up front? You’ll warm up faster.” And it’d be easier for her to talk to him.
He eyed her warily.
“Here—” she held up her phone “—call Sheriff McBride. He’ll vouch for me.”
Shooting another look over his shoulder, he shook his head. “No, it’s okay.” He shut the back door, then climbed in the front seat.
As he went to pull the seat belt over his shoulder, she noticed his hand. “Oh, my God, Trent, you’re hurt! You’re bleeding.” She reached for his hand.
He jerked it away from her. “It’s not blood. It’s paint, just paint.” From his reaction, she must’ve looked as panicked as she felt.
He scrubbed his hand on his jeans.
“Okay, that’s good.” Her pulse slowed to a normal rhythm, and she put the SUV in gear. “What were you painting?”
His gaze shifted from her to the window. “Umm, a sled. I was painting a sled at my friend’s house.”
“There must be some pretty good hills around here for you to go sliding on,” she said in an attempt to keep the conversation going.
He rolled his eyes. “A sled isn’t a toboggan. It’s a Ski-Doo.”
Okay then. “You should’ve called your mom to let her know where you were, Trent. A lot of people were worried about you.”
“There was nothin’ to be worried about. They’re just a bunch of busybodies.”
Madison smiled. “They are. But you know what? I wish I’d had as many people looking out for me when I was growing up as you do.”
“Yeah, right. You don’t know what it’s like.”
“I think I do.” She hesitated, not sure how to broach the subject. But she wanted to let him know he wasn’t alone. “I, ah, heard about what happened in the diner today… with your dad. I’m sorry your friends gave you a hard time.”
He shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. My dad’s a loser.”
“You’re handling it better than I did. My dad was like yours. He used to embarrass me something awful. And he didn’t care who was around when he did.”
The rhythmic swish of the wipers filled the silence as Trent stared out the window.
She’d just decided he wasn’t ready to open up to her when he shifted in his seat. “Did the kids make fun of you?”
She nodded. “Every single day until I left that town.” They’d gone way beyond making fun of her, but that wasn’t something Trent needed to hear.
“What did you do?”
“Nothing. And I should have.”
“Like what?”
“Stand up for myself. Not let them see how scared I was, and face them down.” She showed him her best don’t-mess-with-me face.
“Scary.” He gave her a crooked smile. “That’s how you looked when you threw the snowball at me.”
Madison winced and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Trent. I shouldn’t have done that.” She glanced at him. “Forgive me?”
“I guess. I shouldn’t have thrown one at Annie, either,” he admitted sheepishly.
“No, you shouldn’t have. The thing is, Trent, when you’ve been bullied, you’ve got to be careful not to become one. You have to remember how it feels and not do that to someone else. Annie’s a really great girl. I bet if you apologized to her, you two could become friends.”
He ducked his head, his cheeks flushed. “Maybe,” he mumbled.
There was something about his reaction that made Madison think Trent might’ve been trying to get Annie’s
attention. Not exactly the smartest way to go about it, but then again, boys weren’t always smart when dealing with girls they liked. And not just little boys—big boys, too.
“And, Trent, when I say stand up for yourself, I don’t mean getting physical. If someone hurts you or you’re afraid they’re going to, you need to tell someone.”
“I can’t tell my mom. She might… she’s kinda overprotective. Maybe I could tell you or Sheriff McBride?”
She held back a smile at his comment about Brandi. And while Madison wasn’t surprised he’d thought of Gage, she was surprised and touched that he thought of her. “Sheriff McBride is a great choice. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be in town, but while I am, you can call me anytime.”
She pulled in front of the tidy white bungalow with its blue Christmas lights blinking on and off. Brandi stood, arms crossed, at the open door with a frown on her face. “You better get going. Your mom’s waiting for you. And, Trent, remember, your father has the problem, not you.” She took a business card from her purse and handed it to him. “Call my cell number.”
He pocketed the card and smiled shyly. “Thanks, Ms. Lane.”
He was a sweet boy. With everyone looking out for him, he’d be okay. One more person couldn’t hurt, she thought, as she leaned across the seat. “Hey, Trent, we need a tall guy like you to play Joseph in the Christmas pageant. Interested? Annie’s playing Mary.” Good Lord, she was getting as bad as Nell.
He lifted a shoulder. “Maybe.”
“Trent, get in here. I’m freezing,” his mother yelled.
“Next practice is Wednesday night. If you need a ride, give me a call.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
Brandi responded to Madison’s wave with a reluctant one of her own. Now that she knew about Brandi’s husband, her eat-shit-and-die attitude didn’t bother Madison as much as it did before.
She turned up the radio, humming along with an upbeat tune. It felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Confession, it seemed, really was good for the soul. Or maybe it was just the man she’d confessed to.
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