by Maya Banks
“I’ll buy condoms,” he said gruffly.
She smiled again. He wasn’t even attempting to say that they wouldn’t have sex again. No remorse. No regret for what they’d shared.
It was clear in his tone that he had every intention of making love to her at every opportunity. An assumption she didn’t mind at all.
“If you do, fine. But if you don’t, I’m perfectly okay with not using them. I’d actually prefer not to. With anyone else, I’d insist. But you aren’t just anyone. I hope you know that, Nathan. I’ve never felt this…this connection to anyone else.”
He went quiet for several long moments. She could feel the thud of his heart as his mind worked through a tangle of thoughts.
“Then why did you leave me after my brothers came for me in Afghanistan?”
The quietly voiced question made her heart squeeze. How he must have felt abandoned. It had killed her to go so silent, but she hadn’t any more to give.
She wrapped her arms tighter around him, wanting to ease the gruff hurt in his tone. “I had to. I was too weak. Maintaining the connection for as long as I did had rendered me helpless.”
“Was I the reason they caught you? Were you too weak to escape because of all you did for me?”
She heard the snarl in his voice. He was angry that he could be at fault. She shook her head. “No, Nathan. They didn’t catch me until much later. I moved frequently. I changed my hair color often. Blond to red, back to blond. Brunette, dark and light brown, back to blond. I even wore colored contacts. I tried to change vehicles as often as I could, but I was running out of money and I was scared to hold a job for too long in the same location, which meant keeping the same car. It was how they found me. They tracked me to California. They ran my car off the road, knocked me out, and when I regained consciousness, I was in the hotel room I’d rented.”
He stiffened and then kissed the top of her head as he continued to stroke her body. “How long was it before you escaped?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “What day is it today?”
“June first.”
She couldn’t conceal her sound of dismay.
“What?” Nathan demanded.
“I was with them over a week,” she whispered.
He cursed and buried his face in her hair. “You should have called for me immediately.”
“I tried. I did. They drugged me. They kept me drugged. They would allow me to become lucid only for short intervals so they could question me.”
“I want to kill those sons of bitches.”
“So do I,” she murmured. “Grace isn’t safe. They’ll step up their efforts to find us both now that I’ve escaped.”
“I don’t want you to worry, baby. We’ll work this out, okay? Right now I need for you to know you’re safe and that I’m going to protect you.”
She nodded again. He leaned away and kissed her forehead. “It’s getting close to dark. I’ll need to go out and get us something to eat. I’m not leaving you alone, so that means you ride with me. I wanted to wait until dark so the chances of you being spotted were fewer.”
“And then? What do we do then?” she asked anxiously.
He settled her against the pillows and then swung his legs over the side of the bed, reaching for the boxers and T-shirt he’d discarded hours earlier.
“We need to talk about our options.”
It was the way he said it that made her go tense. Almost as if he knew she may not agree with his plan.
“Okay, what are our options?”
He hesitated a moment and then turned his head to her. “Let’s get you something to eat and then we’ll talk.”
She sat up and pushed her hair from her face. She didn’t have a thing to wear and she wasn’t putting on the same pair of ripped-up, stinky, dirty clothes she’d run all over California and Oregon in.
When she put her plight to Nathan, he frowned as if he hadn’t considered the issue of clothing. He rummaged in his bag for a moment and then pulled out a pair of sweatpants that looked at least a foot too long for her and a pullover white T-shirt that looked like it hit the bottom of her knees.
She wouldn’t win any beauty contests, but they would work until she get could get something else to wear.
As she pulled on the clothing, Nathan stashed his gear into his bag and removed the chair from the door. He did a quick check of the room to make sure they weren’t leaving anything and then he stood by the bed waiting for her to finish.
“Aren’t we coming back?” she asked, wondering why he’d left nothing in the room.
He nodded. “We’ll come back so you can eat and we can make plans, but if someone comes in here while we’re gone, I don’t want anything to point them to you, and I damn sure don’t want to clue them in that I’m in the mix. It works to our advantage for them to still think you’re alone and helpless.”
She scowled. “I wasn’t helpless.”
He grinned. “No, baby, you aren’t helpless. That wasn’t what I meant.”
He watched her pull on the pair of socks he’d given her and frowned. “I’ll get you some clothes and shoes as soon as I’m able.”
She nodded her agreement and then stood, wincing when she put her weight on her soles.
“Wait here,” he ordered.
He took the bags, walked out the door and shut it behind him. A moment later he returned empty-handed and motioned her over. He turned around and gestured for her to climb onto his back.
Touched that he’d noticed how sore her feet were, she hopped up on his back. He hooked his arms underneath her knees and hoisted her higher. He kicked open the door and carried her out to the jeep.
When he got to her side, he turned around so she could climb in without her feet ever touching the ground. Then he hurried around to the driver’s side to get in.
“What do you feel like eating?” he asked as he drove out of the parking lot.
She shrugged. “I don’t care. Whatever’s quick and convenient. I’m so hungry, I could eat just about anything.”
On the edge of town, he found a sub shop with a drive-in so he pulled in to order. Since Shea wasn’t picky, she just let him order whatever. It didn’t matter what it tasted like. She just wanted something in her stomach.
He got several bottles of water, for which she was grateful. She downed the first before they ever got out of the parking lot. The sandwich she’d wait for until they were back at the motel.
“I got you two,” he said. “You can eat one now if you want.”
Well, since he put it that way. She dove into the sandwich like a rabid predator eating a kill. She didn’t look in Nathan’s direction, sure he was probably appalled. By the time they got back to the motel, she’d already devoured the entire sandwich and was eyeing the next.
This time, she slid out of the jeep before Nathan could come around. Yeah, her feet hurt like hell, but he wasn’t going to be able to carry her everywhere, so she had to suck it up and deal. The quicker she worked out any pain and was able to move on her own, the better off they’d both be.
He frowned but didn’t protest. However, when she started toward the door of the motel room, he lifted her off her feet and turned, putting her behind him.
“Stay here until I check it out.”
“Yeah, good idea. Sorry.”
Again, he thrust his Glock into her hand, but not before pushing her back toward the jeep so she’d be hidden from sight. Then she waited patiently while he went into the motel room. After a moment he came back out, took the gun and led her inside.
She settled on the bed and opened the second sandwich. He sat closer to the headboard and began eating his food. Halfway through her sandwich, her stomach rebelled at the overstuffed sensation, and she reluctantly wrapped the rest back up. She still felt desperately hungry even being overbearingly full.
Shea, are you there?
She dropped her sandwich and came instantly to attention.
Grace! Where are you? Are yo
u all right?
I’ve been doing some searching.
The shaky edge in Grace’s voice unnerved Shea. Fear scuttled up her spine and whispered around her ears. Shea shut her eyes and concentrated fiercely on keeping any thoughts as to what she endured from her sister. She’d warn her, most definitely, but the last thing she wanted was for Grace to relive the horrors Shea had gone through. When she opened them again, she breathed through her nose and focused solely on the link between her and Grace.
Nathan had put down his sandwich at the first sign of Shea’s change in demeanor. He leaned forward, his expression fierce. “What is it, Shea? What’s going on?”
She held up her hand to silence him even as she reached more fully out to Grace. For the first time she actively fixed her attention on Grace’s surroundings, looking for anything to tell her where her sister might be.
Tell me where you are, Grace. Things have changed. I’ll come for you. Just tell me where you are.
Grace was too distracted by something else. She didn’t even act like she heard Shea.
Shit, someone’s here.
Who’s there? Grace, talk to me, damn it. Are you in danger? You have to be careful. They found me. They’ll find you. You can’t stay out in the open. I can help you now. Just tell me where you are.
There was no response from her sister. It was as if she hadn’t heard Shea’s frantic warning. But Shea could feel the awful fear radiating from Grace. It slammed into her, pushing all the air from her lungs.
They weren’t our parents, Shea. I’ve got to get out of here. I’ll reach you later.
And then Grace was gone. The link went black and so silent that it was suffocating.
Grace! Where are you? Damn it, Grace, talk to me! What did you mean they weren’t our parents? Who’s there? Are you in danger?
Shea dropped her face into her hands and rocked back and forth as nothing but the awful silence filled her mind.
CHAPTER 19
NATHAN pried Shea’s hands from her face and forced her to look up at him. “What’s wrong, Shea? Talk to me. What the hell is going on?”
“Grace,” she croaked out. “Oh God, Nathan. I think Grace is in trouble. No, she is in trouble. She’s scared out of her mind.”
“Did she talk to you? What did she tell you?”
Her eyes were wide with panic and her lips trembled.
“Calm down, baby,” he said in a low voice. “Breathe. Just take a few deep breaths and steady yourself.”
Her brow furrowed and she frowned. “She said they weren’t our parents. What could that possibly mean?”
“Is that all? Think, Shea. What else did she say?”
“She said she was doing some searching. Then she said that someone was there. Then the part about them not being our parents and she had to go.”
“Okay, let’s back up. Where is there? Where was she?”
She made a sharp sound of frustration. “I don’t know! She didn’t say!”
Nathan smoothed his hands up her arms and squeezed her shoulders. “You said that you wouldn’t communicate with her in the past because you were afraid you’d see her surroundings. Did you see anything this time? Think about it. Go back over it in your mind.”
Shea closed her eyes, her brow drawn in concentration. He could feel the tension radiating from her in waves. Then her eyes flew open, her lips parting in a gasp.
“Nathan, she was at our house! In our living room! Oh my God, she went back.”
“Did you sense anything else? Did you see who was there? Did you pick up any impressions from her?”
Shea shook her head, her lips twisted into a grimace. “She was afraid. Startled. Nathan, we have to go there. She could be in serious trouble. What if they have her?”
“Whoa, wait a minute. I’m not putting you into the open. And I’m damn sure not letting you go back to a place you’ve already been hunted. They killed your parents, Shea.”
“We have to get there,” she argued. “It’s not too far. Up the coast north of Lincoln City.”
Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “You’re telling me that the place you lived, the place where some assholes murdered your parents and you fled for your life, is only a few hours from here? Mind telling me what the hell you’re doing so close to the area they almost got you in the first place?”
Shea shot him a quelling look. “I’ve been all over the damn country in the last year. I’ve tried to be unpredictable. I’d hoped that this was the last place they’d think to look for me. When I first made connection with you, I was in the Midwest.”
“That’s damn well where you should have stayed,” he growled. “Or at least as far away from here as you could.”
She huffed impatiently, pushed him aside and rose from the bed. She picked up the Glock from the nightstand, checked the clip and then tucked it into the waistband of her sweats. As if the too-large pants were going to hold the damn gun.
“Just where the hell do you think you’re going?”
She eyed him steadily. “I’m going back to my parents’ house to find Grace. She’s there and so was someone else. Maybe it was nobody but I’m not going to wait around to hear from her.”
“Christ, Shea. You’re not going alone.”
“Then get your ass up so we can get the hell out of here. I’m going with or without you, so make up your mind.”
Nathan stared at her, at the challenge and determination in her eyes. But he also saw that she was scared out of her mind. Her hands were curled into the legs of her sweats. She was terrified.
She fidgeted under his scrutiny and then some of her bravado slipped and her eyes turned pleading.
“I’m not being stupid here, Nathan. I have you with me. I just have to make sure she’s okay.”
“And what about you?”
Impatience flashed across her face. “I don’t matter! Grace does!”
He bolted to his feet, anger flashing hot. He got into her face and gripped her shoulders. “You matter to me, goddamn it.”
She went silent, their gazes colliding and holding. Then she dropped her head and sighed as all the fight seemed to go out of her.
“We have to go, Nathan,” she said quietly. “Who else is going to help her? She’s all the family I have left.”
He ran his hand through his hair and let out a ragged sigh to match hers. “I can call in my brothers. They’d help.”
She clutched at his arms and returned her gaze to his, pleading and fierce. “We don’t have time! Yeah, sure, call them in, but we can’t sit around waiting for them to show up or come up with some plans. There’ll be questions. Questions I can’t even answer. And while we’re sitting around figuring out the best way to do things, my sister is out there alone and frightened.”
Fuck it all but she had a point. And if she were the one out there, he wouldn’t wait around for his brothers to come charging in. He hadn’t done that. As soon as he’d known Shea was in danger, he’d done what was necessary to get to her as fast as possible. How could he ask her to sit back and do what he himself had been unwilling to do?
“Yeah, okay, we’ll go. But you’re going to do precisely what I tell you. No questions. No arguments. You listen to everything I have to say.”
She bit her lip as if to stifle immediate argument and she nodded her agreement.
“And then, Shea? I’m calling in my brothers. If I call them now, they’re going to want me to stand down until they get here. For now, we do it your way. But then, it’s my way.”
She nodded vigorously again and then threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a toe-curling kiss. “Thank you. I have no right to ask this of you, but thank you. I don’t have anyone else to turn to.”
So maybe they weren’t at a point in their relationship where she felt it was her right, but Nathan was going to make damn sure she knew she had every goddamn right to ask it of him. He sure as hell wasn’t going to trust anyone else with her well-being. She was his. The so
oner she realized it, the better the understanding would be between them.
“Let’s get our stuff and get the hell out of here,” he muttered. “We still have to get you clothes, shoes, and I’ll need to pick up other supplies on our way.”
ATTIRED in jeans, a T-shirt and a windbreaker, Shea had to admit she felt human again. She flexed her toes, happy with the fact that the thick socks prevented discomfort in the new tennis shoes.
Nathan had stopped at an all-purpose store two hours out of Crescent City and they’d set a land speed record for buying the things they needed. He’d hustled her back into the jeep, his gaze constantly sweeping their surroundings.
Even as they drove farther north, his eyes constantly rotated between the rearview and the sideview mirrors to make sure they weren’t being followed.
She took the opportunity to study him unobserved. She hadn’t hesitated to ask him for help after she’d been able to escape her captors. It hadn’t even been a question. Who else could she have turned to?
But even then, she hadn’t been sure if that deep bond between them would survive once they met face-to-face. And yet, it was instantaneous. Renewed. Stronger even than before.
She’d looked at a man who’d been molded by the events of the last year and she saw strength. Endurance. He was, in reality, everything that she’d come to know during the time of his captivity.
Honorable. Determined. Beautiful.
Yes, beautiful. He’d hate that description. Her seeming obliviousness to his physical scars baffled and discomfited him.
He was the kind of man who existed only in fiction. Confident and yet vulnerable. Determined to protect her at all costs.
She was fascinated by him and drawn by an inexplicable force. But their relationship had been forged in the fires of hell. Already they’d endured more than most other couples would ever endure in a lifetime. They’d been tested, together and individually, and yet here they were, clinging to each other, each the salvation of the other.
Yes, she was his. She didn’t refute it. And he was hers.
It sounded so easy. So pat. And yet, their path still lay difficult and winding in front of them. She didn’t have the luxury of a relationship, a normal courtship, dreams of a life filled with love and children and family.