Tate: Hey, I was in a bad place! I wasn’t thinking very straight. And totally honest ..., at the time, yeah, I would have. Sanders is special to me. The idea of him doing it with some random girl, who wouldn’t take the time to make him feel good, or maybe would just be using him for his money or something, god. I’d have to kill the chick. I swear, any and all future girlfriends will have to get through me, first. I should start sending out applications. The woman who gets to be with Sanders ... she’ll have to be beyond perfection. I don’t think there’s one worthy of him – including me. I just think I could make it really fun for him, hahaha
Jameson: Remember that whole “physically ill” statement earlier?
Tate: just answer the question.
Jameson: I wouldn’t allow it.
Tate: Jameson ....
*looks back and forth*
Jameson: I would kill both of you.
Tate: Jameson! Shut up and be honest.
Jameson: I wouldn’t like it. It would make me ... uncomfortable. I don’t like to be uncomfortable. But I care about both of them, and if they both honestly thought it was the best solution to his “problem” .... I would think about it. But I wouldn’t like it.
Tate: That wasn’t so hard, was it?
Jameson: Shut the fuck up.
*le sigh*
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: This is for the both of you...Tell me in your opinion Jameson, which are Tate’s best and worst qualities? The same for you, Tate, which are Jameson’s?
Jameson: Finally, my kind of questions – her best quality is how she fucks. Worst is that she snores.
Tate: I am never sleeping with you again. Jameson’s best quality is that despite all appearances, he’s actually very forgiving. He talks a big game, but he lets me get away with murder. He lets me be me, he lets everyone around him be who they want to be. His worst quality is that he almost completely lacks empathy.
*high fives Tate*
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Also for both of you, if you’d have to describe each other in one word, what word would you choose? Satan and bitch aren’t allowed! *winks*
Tate: HAHAHAHA, dammit ... uh, dick? No ... asshole? No, we can do better, um ..., rude? Arrogant? Bossy? Controlling? Domi-
Jameson: We’re going to be here all night if you don’t shut her up. One word for Tate – loving.
Tate: One word for Jameson – taboo.
(Ohhh I’ve always loved the word “taboo”!!!)
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Jameson, what is something about Tate that you don’t know, but would love to? And please refrain from fighting in here...*although the make-up would be hot, cough, cough, interesting to watch*
Jameson: Something I don’t know? God, that’s hard – she never shuts up, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard her life story about a million times. Hmmm ... I guess I’d like to know exactly what she thought she’d get out of life with Nick that she thought she couldn’t have had with me.
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Tate, what is something you know about Jameson, but wish you didn’t. *please don’t say he is actually small, it’d ruin my visual*
Tate: HAHAHA, no, Jameson is gorgeous all over. Just ask him, he’ll tell you. Something I wish I didn’t know ... it’s kind of selfish. I wish I didn’t know how badly I hurt him, when I went to Arizona. We’ve talked about it a lot. A while ago, he said he hadn’t known the kind of power he had, that he could hurt me as badly as he did, with Pet. Well, I had no clue I could do it back. And I did. I don’t know how if I’ll be able to really forgive myself.
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Jameson, how does it feel to be Satan?
Jameson: Have you seen the car I drive? The clothes I wear? The woman I sleep with at night? It feels fucking fantastic.
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Tate, you have a bit of Satan in you, so how did it feel to be in Jameson’s shoes for a while?
Tate: Shitty. He pulls it off much better than I do, he can keep the title for himself.
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Tate, if you had Jameson kids, what traits of him would you want them to have (let’s say you have a boy and a girl). *pictures a mini Jameson and a mini Tate running around* And Jameson, what about Tate’s traits, what would you choose for your kids?
Tate: EEEEEPPP!! Tiny Jamesons! Wouldn’t that be ADORABLE!? I’d want them both to have his eyes, and his strength and intelligence, his backbone.
Jameson: Oh god. I’d want ... Tate makes, AND KEEPS, friends easily. She may screw up a lot, but she has good intentions, and the best heart of anyone I’ve ever met. I’d want them to have all of that.
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Jameson, do you even want kids? And what names would you choose for boy and girl? *maybe Carol in homage to that greatest one-night stand you had after that interview* Oops, did I say that out loud?
Jameson: Someday, maybe, it would be nice to have kids. In the far, far, distant future. Someone to carry on my name, our legacy. And why does it have to be just one night? I’m in town for the rest of the week.
*faints for a minute and blushes*
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Now the big question...Jameson, when is the wedding? Will I be invited to the ceremony? Or maybe the bachelor party? *looks hopefully at Jameson*
Jameson: Don’t say the “W” word around Tate, I think she’s “nesting”, or something. I’ve heard a rumor there’s some sort of tell all book about us coming out soon, maybe it’ll say. And I am completely fine with you hosting a bachelor party for me, wedding or no.
*makes a mental list of things to do and to remember to clean the house* Ooops, again, I better get back to this interview
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Now, sorry for putting you on the spotlight there, Jameson...I have a tradition here on my blog that everytime I do a interview with awesome characters, I mean, people, like you two, I do a quickfire back and forth Q&A with them...Ready? *looks down at Jameson and see that he is indeed ready*
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Daytime or Nighttime?
Jameson: Anytime.
Tate: Anytime.
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Favorite position
Tate: Missionary
Jameson: Her bent over whatever object is nearest
Who said I was talking about sex???
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Lights on or Lights off?
Tate: On
Jameson: On
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Favorite color?
Tate: Gold
Jameson: Black
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Favorite book?
Jameson: Divina Commedia by Dante Alighieri
(I love that book too!! *jumps up and down excitedly*)
Tate: *cough*poser*cough* The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Alborn
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Wine or Beer?
Tate: Beer
Jameson: Wine
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Casual or Chic?
Tate: Casual
Jameson: Chic
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Favorite Food?
Tate: Chinese
Jameson: French
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Food or Sex?
Tate: AH! CAN’T DECIDE! BOTH!? EW! BUT I CAN’T!
Jameson: Sex
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Favorite song? Maybe the wedding song? I’m just kidding, Jameson, don’t need to look at me like that!
Jameson: I am only controlling my temper because you’re good looking. Favorite song is the third movement in Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
(OHHHHH HE SAID I’M PRETTY!! *writes in her diary “This is the best day ever!! Jameson said I’m pretty!!” then looks back to them embarrassed*)
Tate: Hmmm ... ug, right now, I’d say it’s Taylor Swift “Shake It Off”, but it changes.
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Pepsi or Coke?
Tate: Coke
Jameson: Neither
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Cats or dogs?
Tate: Dogs
Jameson: Cats
(Of course, Satan would be a cat person!!)
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Cuddling or Round 2? If there’s even anything like cuddling when it comes to Jameson.
Jameson: There’s being in the ring, or passed the fuck out, I don’t know this “cuddling” you speak of.
*blushes*
Tate: And people wonder why I sneak into Sandy’s room to cuddle
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Bed or Sofa?
Jameson: whichever is closest
Tate: Bed
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Underwear or Commando?
Tate: Underwear
Jameson: Commando
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Prince Charming or Satan?
Tate: Both rolled into one
Jameson: Is this a real question?
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: Fast or Slow? ( Take your minds out of the gutter, it could be anything!)
Jameson: I like everything fast. Women, cars, money, sex.
Tate: Yeah, I’d have to agree with him on that.
*Beauty and the Beastly Books: And finally, Boxers or Briefs? (*hopes Jameson would show her and Tate won’t kill her*)
Jameson: depends on the clothing. Suits, I wear briefs. Jeans, I wear boxers. At home, nothing. If you’d just get my buckle, I can show -,
Tate: This would be much easier if we weren’t in an interview room. Just sayin’ ....
(Well, we can go to my apartment, it’s quite close actually...DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD AGAIN???)
Thank you so much for coming (I sure did enjoy seeing Jameson so close! *looks at Tate, did I say that out loud again?* Jesus, did anyone spill something on my drink?! ) I had the best time! I hope you come back soon and bring Sandy! *slips Jameson her number*
Jameson: I’m changing one of my answers.
Tate: The interview is over, Jameson, you can’t just decide -
Jameson: Tate’s worst quality is that she’s too hard on herself, and takes what people say to heart too easily, particularly things that aren’t even true. Her best quality is that when she loves someone, she loves everything about them, even their faults. Even if they’re the devil.
Tate: Oh my god, Jameson, that was really sweet. Why can’t you be like that all the time!? Why couldn’t you have just -,
Jameson: Tatum.
Tate: What?
Jameson: Shut the fuck up. The interview is over.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: A LOVE note from Jameson to Tate for Valentine's Day – part of a project with the lovely True Story Book Blog.
Kraven Brokerage Firm
12183 State Street * Boston, MA, 02109
Phone (617) 555-6486 * Fax (617) 555-6488 * http://www.kravenbrokerage.com
From: The Offices of Jameson Kane, CEO and Founder, [email protected]
To: Tatum O'Shea, [email protected]
Time Stamp: February 14, 2015, 16:32
RE: This Day
Baby Girl -
I have been informed – multiple times – by Sanders that today is a day where I'm supposed to send you a romantic card, professing my love and adoration.
This seems fucking stupid to me. You know I love you, “adore” is a stretch, and I don't even know what “romantic” means.
But since he won't leave me alone and is reading this over my shoulder, I will tell you that I am grateful for every day that I get to wake up next to you, and even more grateful for every day that I get to come home to you. Thank you for being the best part of my life.
You may show your gratitude for me (which is overwhelming, I'm sure) by waiting in the library and being naked when I get home (this is not a request).
Respectfully,
Jameson
p/s – change your fucking e-mail address
AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS is a memo “war” that grew to epic proportions on my Facebook wall.
FROM: THE OFFICES OF Jameson S. Kane
MEMO: Friday the 13th and Valentine's Day
RECIPIENT: O'Shea, Tatum
Forgot to mention - won't be home Friday and Saturday. Have a weekend engagement apparently. Sanders never tells me about these things till the last fucking minute. On the bright side, it seems like I'll be surrounded by women all weekend. Can't be a total loss. Wanted to give you a heads up so you can make plans of your own.
NO ANGIERS.
Cheers,
Jameson
FROM: YOUR MOM'S HOUSE
MEMO: Why can't you call like a normal human being!?
RECIPIENT: The Devil
Seriously. A memo!? Two second phone call, that's all it would've taken. I'm not one of your office drones. And Valentine's Day!? Not cool. I had plans for us! And if you're gonna ditch me, then I am DEFINITELY gonna have Ang over. Have him anyway I want. Cause I'll be all aloney on my owny, HA!
Sincerely,
Tate, a.k.a. Pissed Off Bitch
FROM: THE OFFICES OF Jameson S. Kane
MEMO: Friday the 13th and Valentine's Day
RECIPIENT: O'Shea, Tatum
I sent a memo because A) I'm a fucking adult and I'm at work, and B) if I called you, I'd never get off the phone, you never shut the fuck up. And please don't compare yourself to my employees - at least they earn their keep. What, exactly, is it you do to earn yours?
Go ahead. Invite Angier over. Let's see how mad I can really get. Been a long time since we played a game.
Cheers,
Jameson
FROM: LAND OF PISSED Off Girlfriend
MEMO: Go Fuck Yourself
RECIPIENT: Lord Poopy-Pants McBitch-Face
What, exactly, I do for you is anything and everything - feel like giving yourself head? Go ahead, I'll watch. Cause you sure as shit aren't getting it from me anymore.
Please stop bothering me, I'm having a very important Skype conversation with my darling Ang, discussing our Valentine's plans.
I wonder if that sex club downtown is still open ...
Your loving drone,
Tate
FROM: THE OFFICES OF Jameson S. Kane
MEMO: Friday the 13th and Valentine's Day
RECIPIENT: O'Shea, Tatum
Keep talking, I love seeing your ass painted red. I hope you don't have any plans for the rest of the week, because by the time I get through with you, you won't be able to walk right. Better cancel your plans with Angier.
DO NOT message me again, I am a very busy man and am sick of your distractions. Don't make me come home to explain this in person. You won't like it.
Cheers,
Jameson
FROM: HAHAHAHAHAHA
MEMO: I'll believe it when I see it
RECIPIENT: Satan (not to be confused with a bag of hot air)
Big talk. Promises promises. I'll see your threat, and raise you a BULLSHIT.
You want me to stop messaging?
MAKE ME.
Your move,
Tate
FROM: THE OFFICES OF Jameson S. Kane
MEMO: Automated Response Activated
RECIPIENT: O'Shea, Tatum
We regret to inform you that Jameson Kane has left the office for the day. If this is an emergency, please contact Sanders Dashkevich.
Mr. Kane will be back in the office tomorrow morning, eight o'clock.
DO NOT REPLY TO THIS ADDRESS
AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS was the original epilogue I wrote to Reparation, way back in ... May 2014? Back then, the final chapter was also very different – in the original version, Jameson never said the L-word, because I simply couldn't picture him saying it, at the time. Obviously, a lot changed. None of this has been edited or beta-read or proofed or checked for language accuracy.
~Epilogue~
“God, it's nice out.”
“Uh uh! German! You have to talk to me in German.”
“Es ist sehr schon aus.”
“Es ..., ist sehr ..,” Tate tried to sound out the words.
“Schon.”
�
�Schon ... house?” she laughed.
“You should've taken Spanish.”
She crawled up Jameson's body, laid on top of him. He didn't take off his sunglasses or move his head to look down at her, but his arm came around her.
“School doesn't start for another month or two, I could switch,” she said, folding her hands on his chest and resting her chin on them.
“I would highly recommend it. Your German accent is shit,” he told her. She laughed.
“I have a shitty teacher. Now you have to say everything to me in Spanish,” she warned him.
“Hoy me voy a tomar toda la ropa de -,” he started speaking rapid fire.
“Hey! Hey, I don't speak it yet!” she laughed, slapping him on the chest. He chuckled and his other arm came around her.
They were on the top deck of his yacht. He'd had it brought to America and they were docked in Miami. It was July, so it was stifling hot, but she pretty much lived in her bikini, so it wasn't too bad. Bonus, he spent almost all of his time in a bathing suit as well. She would never get tired of his body.
Sanders was going to MIT in the fall. Engineering. He was going to learn how to design cars. Who knew? Tatum was also going to school in the fall, but not MIT. Not even Harvard. She was starting small, at a community college, just to take some general education classes and see if business was something she really wanted to do.
Since it seemed everyone would be busy come fall, Jameson had the idea of them getting away for part of the summer. They had cruised down the east coast, from Boston all the way to South Beach. Now they were spending the rest of the summer in Florida and the Keys. She had even talked him into bringing Ang. Life was as near perfect as it could possibly get.
Petrushka had only been a problem once. Calling the house, repeatedly, despite the restraining order. Tatum finally picked up the phone and threatened her – pregnant or not, Tate would kick that supermodel's ass if she kept trying to contact Jameson. Tatum was the only woman in his life, and Pet had better fucking get used to it.
The Kane Series Boxset Page 93